Disclaimer: No, I do not own Harry Potter and related characters/ideas/places (damn JKR, why couldn't I be as brilliantly creative as her? ::pouts::). I also do not own Peter Pan and related characters/ideas/places (all J.M. Barrie's). I'm just abduc- err, borrowing them to complete a Creative Writing assignment. Yea, that's it. ::laughs nervously::


From: boy_who_lived@yahoo.com
Sent To: imsoclever@hotmail.com
Subject: Hullo

Hullo Peter,

The Dursleys are out right now, so i'm taking advatage of dudley's old computer while i hav the chance. Sorry if a few letters are off, Dudley (now the size of a smal ship) sat on this keyboard a few months ago and it relly hasnt workd the same since. i have more leeway now that Mad-Eye Moody scared the Dursleys wit his creepy magical eye, so I set up an email account an sign in wenever i can. so what's up? how's Neverland treating you? do u have any more lost Boys since the last ones left with wendy? I think i feel dudley shaking the house as hes walking up the drivewy, so I beter go, ttyl!

Harry

From: imsoclever@hotmail.com
Sent To: boy_who_lived@yahoo.com
Subject: Uh, hello?

Hello Harry,

I dont cleerly remeber who u r, but u must be speshal if Ive talked too u before. Hmm, ur Dudley charakter seams terribble - wood u like me too take care of him 4 u? I am verry good with a sord or dagger. Skratch that, Im the BEST. Neverland is grate, i killed a duzen savages 2day all bye myself. Arent I wunderfull? Butt wut r these lost Boys u spoak of? and wuts a wendy? and how du u pronownse ttyl'? I bet itz a stupid werd. Wel, I hav 2 go now - I hav lots mor clever things 2 think of and du, butt write bac soon.

the cleverest boy ever,
Peter Pan

From: boy_who_lived@yahoo.com
Sent To: imsoclever@hotmail.com
Subject: Hello the cleverest boy ever'

Peter,

For th cleverest boy ever, you sure can't spell. And you're quite cocky, mate, right down to your email address. Ugh, you remind me of Malfoy. Anyway, I forgot about your lapsing memory, so I'll recap a few things. I'm Harry Potter, the teenage wizard that lives in England. I'm actually very well-known, cause this evil wizard Voldemort tried to kil me when I was younger and all I was left with was a scar on my forehead. He's tried to kill me four times since, but obviosly hasn't succeeded. I found out this year that I have to kill him in order to save the world, but unfortnately I haven't succeeded either. Umm, about teh Lost boys, they were boys you took to neverland to live with and follow you, remember? and you brought Wendy to be their mother. Whatever, youll prolly forget by next email anyway. Write back wenever. (ttyl stands for talk to you later')

Harry

PS: Just received letters from my friends Ron and Hermione. Both say hello'. If u can remember, Ron wants to know what its lik to fly without a broom, and Hermione wants to know what Nevrland is like.


From: imsoclever@hotmail.com
Sent To: boy_who_lived@yahoo.com
Subject: stil dont relly remember

Harry,

I tink I sorta remeber u, butt not relly. I dont apreshiate ur insultz about mi speling. Im not growing up, so i dont need too kno how to spel. Im not cocky' as u put it, just extremely clever. C, u even notised mi clever email adress. I AM so smart. butt who is this Malfoy? I bet Im beter than him. Hey, about thiz evil wizard Voldiemart, thatz pritty pathetik that u cant kil him. Id get him in one shot, jus a qwick slash of my sord n he wood b dead. U think ur scar is bad, ive got tonz of them frum all the batles i faut, so dont try to beet me cauze u cant. Dont remember the lost boys or a wendy, musta bin too long ago, sorry. So, too ur friend Ron, flying is so much fun, i can du all sortz of trix bcauze im grate at flying. Do u fly with a broom? thatz the most ridikulus thing ive evr heard of. Pixie dust is way beter. Too Hermione, Neverland is the bestest place in the hole wurld. therez murmaids nd savages nd pixies nd advenchurs nd of course, ME. Hope that anser makes her happy. Write soon. (ttyl' is stupid cauze we nevr talk' neway, we tipe.)

still the cleverest boy ever
Peter

PS: Can i hav Hermione's adress? Cauze im in serch of a muther. She sounds nice.

From: boy_who_lived@yahoo.com
Sent To: imsoclever@hotmail.com
Subject: you haughty git

Peter,

You truly are horrible. Malfoy is my worst enemy. (But I bet he can spell better than u) Killing Voldemort is harder than it sounds. I can't just go up to him and stab him. First off, I would use my wand, a wizard's standard weapon. Its a wooden stick that I can send curses and spells out of. Yess, we use broomsticks to fly b/c we have no pixie dust available. We even hav a brilliant sport called Quidditch that we play on broomsticks. Neverland sounds great, even tho you are there, but I'll tell Hermione, thanks. And NO you may not have her address; she is one of my best friends, I will not have you whisking her off to some faraway land to cook and sew and tell you to grow up, because it WON'T GET THROUGH YOUR THICK, COCKY SKULL. I have to go, I'm buying my school supplies soon. Next time I sign up to be e-pals with another literary character, I'll make sure its not an arrogant prat like you. Maybe Frodo will be available this time...

Harry Potter

From: imsoclever@hotmail.com
Sent To: boy_who_lived@yahoo.com
Subject: xscuse me

mr. boy who lived to insult me

Im sorrie u think im a bad epal, but I think u r just jelus of me. dont worrie, it hapens all the time. Litle boys wish to be me, litle girls want too liv wit me. Butt im used too it. A wand sounds relly relly dum. how cood a wooden stik protect u? Dum i tell ya. And a flying game on broomstix. Thats too funnie. i mite have to come watch sum time. y cant i have hermonie's adress? i tink she wood make a wunderful muther. i always get wut i want tho, so nevr fear. if she came she woodnt tel me to grow up cauze thatz not allowed here. the next time i sine up to be an epal, im gonna reqwest this Voldiehart n help him bring u down ::stix out tung:: good bye potter

always the cleverest boy ever,
Peter Pan

*~*~*
For anyone who didn't figure it out, the assignment was to write emails between two literary characters. Of course I had to pick an HP character (I bet you're surprised it's not everyone's favorite Slytherin Sex God, huh?), and I thought Peter would be an interesting match.

Please leave a review and make me feel loved. ^_~