AN: Hey there. No, this is not an update on a Father and a Home, but that is coming today, I promise. In the meantime I was cleaning my house, listening to my IPod and lots of songs came up that make good Wicked one shots…so this is the first of my writing binge today lol. This one is based off of Idina Menzel's "I Stand." Cliché, I know, but it spoke to me. This is written kind of as first person, it's supposed to be written as a journal entry for Elphaba, while she is on the run. Muscialverse.
Disclaimer: Yeah, right.
It's been a year and a half since I defied gravity and left Glinda behind. I don't know why I am doing this, maybe I am just lonely, and need a break from being the Wicked Witch for a time. I know, I know, I can't truly take a break from life, but maybe this journal will help. If this falls into the wrong hands, they will never truly understand this was written by the Wicked Witch of the West. I managed to steal a newspaper this morning and as usual, they still don't understand what I am trying to do.
They no longer ask who I am. I don't have a name any longer, unless you count the title that hag Morrible so kindly bestowed upon me. They don't know my vision, which frustrates me. For me, my vision is an Oz where Animals, animals, and humans of all different back grounds live together in harmony. A land where I can be free to love and be loved in return. Oz, I miss him. I know he is Glinda's but I miss his companionship, and dream of what if. It hurts to think of the what if, but at least I know I haven't gone completely mad in this insane story I call my life.
What is my strength? Maybe my strength is my independence, and my conviction to do what is right. It's too bad they will never see this side of me and know I am trying to make good. They seem to think I have nothing to say, which isn't true. They just refuse to hear what I am saying. What am I saying? Who do I stand for?
I stand for the ability to change fate. I live for the perfect day when the so called Wizard is gone and Oz is at peace and everyone lives together in harmony. I love and have loved Fiyero until it hurts like crazy. Lurline knows, I have tried denying it, but every time I think I have successfully shoved it away, it comes back, painfully. I hope for him to save me one day. Hopefully not literally, but he is the only one who can rescue me from myself and this path of destruction I seem destined to follow. He is my hero, Yero my hero. If only I could tell him.
Who do I stand for if not the Wizard they ask? I stand for those like me, the strange and lonely. The Outcast. The Forgotten Ones. The ones who have become victims of time and prejudice. Some days it seems like I am the only one, but I know that isn't true. I believe that there is a better place and that one day Oz can become like this better place. I don't know where it is or what it is. It's not the afterlife. Maybe it's another world? We can't be the only world, especially if the Wizard is actually telling the truth about where he comes from. I don't know if the sky is truly heaven, but it is my heaven. It has become my escape route, my home, my go to place when I need to think. When I am flying through the sky, I am free. Absolutely and totally free. I am no longer Elphaba, Elphie, or the Wicked Witch of the West. I am simply…me. I can't describe how good that feels for me, who has never been totally free before in my life.
I have no idea what tomorrow will bring. For all I know today is my last day alive. That is my reality. I have long since accepted it. I do all I can to avoid that, but when you are a wanted criminal, there isn't much I can do.
They say with the slightest of breezes I should fall, because really who has ever heard of making a broom fly? Well I did, and the wind is now my friend and savior in ways no person can ever be. The rain washes me away, and becomes cleansing, both physically and emotionally. When it rains, I can sit back and enjoy it, I can bathe in it without fear of being caught; it is my time to pretend that I am normal and not a wanted criminal. I forget who I am, and know that in the dark, I blend and can't be seen. For me and my mission, it is a blessing. It is also a blessing as it allows me to visit Glinda without her knowing, and make sure she is okay. I shouldn't worry, and I know she would kill me if she ever knew, but still I worry about her. If the Ozians ever found out about our friendship, well, it wouldn't be pretty. But at night it is easy for me to blend in with the crowd, and check in on her and Fiyero.
For now I must go, and despite my earlier misgivings, this journal writing seems to actually have helped. I think I will continue writing in this. It will be my legacy so to speak. If it comes down to life and death, I will release this journal to a trusted source and know that it will be published. I may be gone at that time and it may do no good, but if nothing else, it will give the Ozians a glimpse into the life of Elphaba Thropp, the woman they all fear and hate and know simply as the Wicked Witch of the West.