Home To Me.
"You were so young. In age only, as well I know. Many times I have marvelled at how mature you were, are, I don't know. This not knowing kills me… I feel more helpless than I've ever felt in my life. Where are you?... Are you safe?... Are you happy?...
Its been a year… A year since he, the Dark Lord. V- Voldemort. A year since he was vanquished. A year since I lost sight of you on the battlefield. A year since you were declared officially MIA, missing in action.
What a year it's been. Everyone goes on celebrating, enjoying their lives now that they don't have a mad man threatening them. They searched for you for a week…. maybe longe…., but was not long enough! You are so important! How dare they not spend every waking moment searching for you! How dare they not spend every resource they've got trying to find you! I have… I have….
Oh, where are you. Why are not here with me.
I spend most my days waiting for you now. At the beginning I spent every waking moment searching for you. But I am so tired, so tired. I long to see your face, smell your own unique scent, play with your soft raven hair, taste your sweet kisses…. My love, my life. You've been away too long and I feel empty without you. Empty. You were the only thing worthwhile in my life. You were my everything, my reason for living.
I'm a broken shell of a man.
I'm a broken shell of a man. And no one understands. Why would they…. Our relationship was a secret, and I feel that it is pointless to tell them now. Why would they believe me? Why would anyone believe that someone like me could be with someone as amazing and perfect as you? Why would they believe it, when I have trouble believing it myself?
So, here I wait, day and night, only moving when necessary, toilet, hygiene mostly, to teach classes, but I've been incressingly worse at doing that duty. I forget a lot, or cannot convince myself to actually go. When I do convince myself to walk that hallway, that, once upon a time, had been such a short walk, and now seemed endless. When I convince myself to walk down that endless hallway and teach class, it was without my usual vigor, in fact I'm quite wistless. I know Dumbledore is worried about me, but I couldn't care less…. Its his fault that you are gone, as far as I can see. He push far to much on your small shoulers. Far too much.
Oh Goddess.
I don't think I can live like this much longer Darling. I feel like a piece of me is dying every day.
Sometimes I dream about you and wake to find you are not there.
I think I'm dreaming now. I swear that you've just barged into the room, looking like you've run a 10 mile race. But you can't be real, you've been gone far too long to just walk in like that…
You don't say anything, you stand there, staring at me, your breath coming in harsh pants. Tears well in your brilliant emerald eyes. I can visibly see them glistening there. Then walk over to me and hunker down infront of me and take my hands in yours.
"Oh Sev," You breath and the tears start flowing, and the I'm crying too. Because it is you. You've come home. Home to me.
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:) Hope you enjoyed