Disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi. All I do own are the ideas of this, and every other fan fiction I write. Degrassi: the next generation was revived from the earlier Degrassi shows by Schuyler and Stephen Stohn, and is rightfully owned by them, and the N. I wish I did own the Degrassi characters though—I would be like a puppet master. Dance puppets, dance!

I have been thinking about writing this story for the longest time now, and I'm so happy I finally got around to it. This is my first song-fic, so be sure to tell me how you like it. I'm asking you to be honest, just don't be too brutal if it's awful. I don't take insensitive assessment well… Just kidding. Be as blunt as you like; I can take it. The only thing I wouldn't be able to stand is people putting down the Ellie/Jay pairing, because they are friggin' awesome together in my opinion.

By the by, I just watched an interview with Mike Lobel (Jay), and when he was asked which character he thought Jay should hook up with, he said Ellie. See? If Mike Lobel sees it, why can't the writers of Degrassi? Come now.

Chapter One: Oh Lately It's So Quiet

As I awake from a silent dreamless sleep, I look around at my empty and soulless abode. The walls that once contained me when I was at the happiest point of my life, were now bleak, and bare. He made this expressionless place a home; he made this unadorned piece of shelter not so lonesome. With Sean around this place seemed more extraordinary, and then I realized it was just because he made everything in my life so much better. Now, when I gazed out into the night the vibrant stars were replaced by cloudy gruesomeness, and as I fall asleep my dreams coil into restless horrors. My nightmares are my burden, but still his liability.

(Oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place

You're not round every corner

(oh no) Oh lately it's so quiet in this place

So darlin if you're not here haunting me

I'm wondering...

We were so happy here together. I just don't understand how you can make a broken little Goth girl whole again, and then just leave her astonished and faltering without you by her side when you're what she needs most. I remember what life was like without Sean, and I don't want that again. I'm not going to let anybody put me through that again. Not even the one person who's had the most impact in my life.

I've gone a very long time without cutting. That was all because of Sean too. He made me want to be better because he was whom I lived for. I can still visualize him with me sometimes, late at night and when I'm sleep-deprived. When I awake in the morning I see the light dancing over his insipid flesh, casting shadows like dark emphasis over his flawless features. When I come to realization that he is gone, he withdraws from my conscious. He's a ghost that haunts me for my mindless devotion. I felt…cursed.

Nothing but a shell was left from me. I let him take all that I had because I finally obtained somebody I thought I could trust. I've never been dependant on anybody in my entire life before him. When I lived with my mother I was constantly being troubled and forced to be the grown-up. While she would drink herself into her pathetic and lonely comas, I was the only one around to pick up the pieces. I had to manage everything by myself. Sean took that responsibility away from me to finally put me at ease. He put my life at rest, causing me to never perform the self-destruction that I once craved since.

I couldn't resist wondering whether or not he has found somebody better then be by now. Every time I think about it, it just makes everything worse, but I can't help it. He's not the type of guy would fall for the first bimbo he met, I mean—I know he's not in Wasaga oogling over some trashy, blond, beach babe but that doesn't mean he hasn't found someone. He hasn't called me, sent me any letters or made any contact what-so-ever, so yeah—it hurt. And quite frankly left me a little bitter, too.

Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

Aw. Whose sheets you twist

Aw. Whose face you kiss

Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

I hastily shake the thoughts out of my mind. What am I thinking? He's probably just moping around the house and watching TV all day with a gallon of chocolate milk in his lap. Oh yes, that's very attractive. He was always rather—brutey. He had a sensitive side he hid from the world, but I've never thought anything wrong with it. One of the things I loved most about our relationship was that I got to find out so much more about him. I felt so special and trusted to learn about his most closely guarded secrets. That's why I was so hurt when he wouldn't tell me about what really happened with Rick. That's why I was so upset when he talked to Emma instead of me—his girlfriend.

Flashback:

The beach airstream breezed through my scarlet ringlets as the rest of my body remained motionless. Sean sitting in the sand quite a bit ahead of me captured my gaze. After seeing Emma sit down beside him, I watched closer and more carefully as I noticed them going deep into conversation. Why was she talking to him? I shouldn't have been so jealous over this, I know—but I couldn't help it. All they were doing was speaking to each other and I felt as if he were cheating on me or something. Why wouldn't he talk to me about anything he was going through? He was being so distant, and I loathed this feeling.

(Oh no) I don't think much about you anymore

You're not on every whisper, oh

(Oh no) I don't think much about you

But if you're not lurking behind every curtain

I'm wondering...

Suddenly, taking my attention off of Sean and little-miss-perfect, Jay sat down next to me. I took a deep sigh, awaiting some kind of confrontation, but there wasn't one. He lay back on a towel and turned onto his side, facing me. I thought for sure he would make fun of me for sulking around, but he stayed silent, waiting for me to begin the conversation.

I raised an eyebrow and stared at him suspiciously. "Do you need something?" I asked, hints of both venom and sarcasm, coming together in a perfect bitter harmony.

He sighed and shook his head at me. "Calm down, Red. Did anyone ever say you can be a bit of a shrew?"

I rolled my eyes and sat up and then got up to my feet, angrily. "I'm leaving."

Jay smirked and pulled me back down into a sitting position. "Don't get your panties in a twist Nash, I was just kidding."

I hesitated, staring at him with curiosity. "Okay—then what are you doing here? Shouldn't you be chasing down half-naked beach babes before we head back to Toronto?"

Jay's eyes narrowed, as if he were considering this. "That's tempting, but no. Anyways, I was wondering what has you all worked up. You've been moping around all day."

I glared at him irritably, and then turned my head to ignore him completely. I knew this was coming. Jay and I don't exactly…play nice. That's just an easy way of saying we loath each other and fight constantly. When I didn't hear him speak for a few seconds, I glanced in his direction to see him staring at Emma and Sean, like I had been earlier.

"Oh, I get it." He said a little softer turning towards me again.

"Get what?" I spat back, defensively.

"You're all worried because you think Greenpeace is moving in on Sean."

I was taken back for a few seconds. How did he know? It angered me how he thought he had everything all figured out, but not nearly as much as it angered me that he was absolutely right. "Shut up, Jay" I grumbled, "Don't be such a jerk."

"Whoa, touch a nerve there, did I?" He asked. I sighed as he continued. "Look, Red, I didn't mean to piss you off, alright? Anyways I honestly don't think you have anything to worry about. Emma wasn't right for Sean, they were like polar opposites. You and him just seem to have more in common."

"Look, I'm not saying he's going to leave me for Emma, okay? I'm just—" I stopped and shook my head as if stopping myself from saying anything remotely meaningful. "Whatever."

"No—what were you going to say?" He asked forcefully. I glanced at him for what was meant to be a brief moment, but I was drawn into his baby-blue eyes. This is the first time I had ever heard him talking like he was sincere, so color me surprised if you wish.

"I'm just wondering why he can talk to Emma about what he's going through when he—" I wavered, rolling my eyes.

"Won't tell you anything?" He asked, meeting my gaze.

I took in a deep breath and nodded, recognizing defeat. "I just don't understand why he has to keep things from me. I mean there's this big space between us and it just keeps getting bigger." I wasn't sure why I was telling him all this, but I was mostly just confused on why he cared. I've never seen Jay act nicely towards anyone with a pure motive.

"Look, Red—I really don't think you have anything to worry about. Sean probably just doesn't want to tell you things because he doesn't want you to worry about him, you know? I mean, if you're worried about him not loving you, you're wrong, alright?"

I couldn't help but smile when I saw his face. I found myself incapable of restraining myself from making fun of him. "Wow, who knew the infamous Jay Hoggart had a sensitive side?" The look he gave me after I said that appeared to be murderous, making me laugh even more. "What?—All mad about me pointing out your underbelly?"

"My underbelly is rock hard." He said defensively.

"Okay, ya' big softy." I then giggled uncharacteristically, causing him to look at me skeptically. He then lifted his beer and hovered it over my head; threatening to pour it on me if I didn't shut up.

I calmed my laughter and bit my lip to keep myself quite until the beverage recoiled. He laughed from his own victory and stared at me mockingly. I retaliated by flinging some sand at him, much to his disdain. He hit me back him some, and it turned into a full-fledged sand war until we were interrupted by Sean getting up, and gesturing for us all to head to the car. I followed obediently, but still giggling.

End of flashback

Part of me still blamed Jay for Sean leaving. Jay, Alex and Spinner were after all the reason why Rick brought a gun to school in the first place. I felt so selfish feeling this way, but I wasn't sure what else to do, because Sean was gone and for all I knew he was never coming back. And why should he? There's nothing worth coming back to in Toronto anyhow. Least of all, me. Oh—but god knows there's always Emma.

Now whose house, are you haunting tonight?

Aw. Who can't resist

Aw. Whose cryin'

Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

Aw. Whose name you hiss

Aw. Whose sheets you twist

Whose house, are you haunting tonight?

(Oh no)

And, that was the first chapter! Did you like it? Don't just answer that in your head—review! The more reviews I get the more inspiration I have to write more chapters, to keep em' coming. I also want to know about the Jay/Ellie pairing because if everyone likes it, I have more Jallie fan fictions planned. Thank you so much for reading!