Maybe I would be better off without you!
The words echoed through Arra's mind as she walked. She wondered where she was going, but didn't really care at this point. Tears threatened to spill from her eyes as she stopped in the middle of the Games Hall.
How had a search for Darren turned into this? Arra tried to remember what exactly she and Larten had started fighting about, but she couldn't. All she could remember was the stinging words that had ended the fight.
But he would be better off without me, she thought. She knew she was his second choice, and would always be, as long as he still remembered Alicia. She told herself she didn't care, but she knew she was lying. She cared more than she would ever like to admit. She loved Larten with her entire being, and those words, however true she thought they were, tore her apart.
She tried to push it down. She tried to pretend she didn't care. It didn't work. It never worked. She couldn't get rid of this weakness. This need to feel loved.
She continued to walk, and ended up sitting down at a table in a corner with a mug of ale she hadn't touched yet. Why was she even surprised? It wasn't as if she didn't already know, it wasn't as if she expected anything from him, even friendship. And to make matters worse, Darren was probably dead. And Gavner was gone. Poor, good-hearted, fun-loving Gavner.
And Arra sat there for a long time, letting the memories run around and around, chasing each other in circles.
What had he done? Why did he say that? Larten paced back and forth and back and forth in his quarters, swamped with guilt. Frustration, that was it. Darren was gone, and he felt like it might end up being another Alicia quest again. But why had he taken it out on Arra of all people? And she didn't even seem mad at him. Just heartbroken, even though she tried to hide it, and that was much worse.
Looking back, he'd come to a realization. She'd given up seven years that she could have spent training, being a General or doing whatever she wanted to do, on him. She'd looked after him. And what had he done to repay her? And what was he doing now? She didn't deserve this. She deserved better. Much better.
Could he make it up to her?