DANGER MOUSE:
THE OTHER SIDE OF MIDNIGHT
WRITTEN BY ZARIUS
(Special Thanks To bravekid For The Idea)
EPISODE ONE
Sarangeul haetta/uriga manna/jiuji mothal/chuoegi dwaetda
"Erm narrator?"
"Neon nareul weonhae, neon naege ppajeo, neon naege micheo, heeonal su eopseo, I got you under my skin
"Narrator?"
"You don't know me so shut up boy"
"A boy? Right, that settles it, you need quite a stern backhand"
What? Was I just smacked across the face?
"Quite so, now are you going to narrate my latest heroic escapade or not?"
I'm sorry Danger Mouse, I read the episode synopsis ahead of schedule and it put me in a mood to belt out a couple of tunes.
"What synopsis would that be?" Penfold asked.
"The narrator found out this story centres around our attempts at rescuing the world's foremost K-pop specialists from having their talents stolen by Professor Siena Katarina and her Rex Factor thought transfer
"Oh crumbs, K-Pop? That's all the rage these days, and it sends me into a rage just listening to it"
"Why would that be?"
"Scarlet subjected me to it at every opportunity trying to convert me. When she caught sight of a K-Pop band, she screamed louder for them than she managed when catching a glimpse of me on assignment"
"Ah, a little envious are we?" Danger Mouse asked.
"Largely envious Chief" snapped Penfold.
The MKIV swiftly sped through the sky heading towards a large smoothly edged rectangular building, a foreboding crimson energy field encircling it.
"Force field" DM said, reaching out to grab hold of it, he received a fierce jolt for his troubles.
"An electrified force field" Danger Mouse replied.
"Not to worry chief, Professor Squawkencluck supplied us with her new force cutter"
Danger Mouse took the neatly wrapped device out of Penfold's hand and unpackaged it.
"It's just a pair of scissors Penfold"
"Press the emblem in the middle"
Danger Mouse did so and the scissors suddenly sprang into life and zipped across the entirety of the force field surrounding the building, cutting through every strand and leaving the building vulnerable.
Danger Mouse and Penfold somersaulted from the car, curled themselves into a ball in mid-flight and hurled themselves into the fibre glass of the structure.
"Cor, good thing standards and practices made it easier for us to burst through the glass without having to cut ourselves on the shards Chief" said Penfold.
The two stood face to face with Professor Katarina, a stout looking kiwi who was operating a large cylinder shaped device which had wires and headsets attached to the spine and ears of a group of famous K-Pop bands.
"I found them on the set of the latest K-Drama. I hear they're making one for CBBC"
"It wouldn't happen to be called 'Find your Tribe' would it?" asked Penfold.
"Hey, that sounds like it could roll right off the tongue" said one of the K-Pop singers.
"This hamster has the mind for marketing" complimented another.
"No, I absolutely refuse to help cross promote your ghastly genre" said Penfold.
"I've read your profile Katarina, as well as being a pioneer in the field of genetic ability acquisition; you were quite a good hand at talent acquisition. A professional talent scout for the billionaires new blood agency. What happened to you?" Danger Mouse asked.
"I couldn't keep up with the times. All of the talent shows refused to sign any of my clients because they didn't sing like a K-Popstar, not even putting them on reality shows did them any good because the real money lay in singing and performing in K-Dramas"
"Well the only drama you'll be enjoying from here on out are real life helpings of Woolworths" said Penfold.
"I think you meant 'Wentworth' Penfold" said DM, correcting him.
"Not on your life Danger Agents, for these K-pop klutzes, today is when their music died, and I'll have all the talent in their world stored within my own body. I'll be my own best client, and the world shall not shun me again" said Katarina, throwing a switch and unleashing a trio of panel judges, who unleashed a powerful blast of crimson laser energy whenever they pushed the buzzer button on their desks.
"My panel patrol shall deal with you two" she said, and threw the switch on the transfer device to begin the process.
DM and Penfold dodged as many of the energy blasts as they could. Every mark the blasts left on the building formed a seering and blistering hot X.
"Penfold, try to disable that machine, I'll deal with these panel peasants" DM instructed.
Penfold nodded, took a running leap, and leapt over some of the branding blasts, he reached the device and attempted to make a grab for the lever and reverse the process as the musical aura and raw talent was steadily plucked from the K-pop star's souls.
Penfold pushed and pulled, but the lever was difficult to budge.
"It's no good chief, I've got the strength of a gnat" Penfold said in dismay.
"Such emotion in his voice, he could always vent about it through song" said Keith Su, one of the captive stars.
"Forget it, I've got one of those voices
It's a no from me" said one of the panellist droids as they took aim at Penfold just as the lever was within reach.
Penfold jumped as the blast scorched the floor beneath his feet, singeing one of the cables connected to the device, exposing some live wires.
As Penfold came down, his foot stepped on the wiring, and a powerful surge sent an electrical jolt through his body. The energies being transferred from the singers towards a containment orb at the heart of the machine was now flowing into Penfold, but it was taking quite a hefty toll on his body.
"Ah, the pain, it's excruciating, I haven't felt this badly stung since I told that family of wasps they'd made quite a sub-par ham" Penfold cried.
"You can do it hamster jewel" said one of the singers.
"It's no good, I'm no good" said Penfold, who's eyes were glowing a bright rainbow mishmash of dazzling colour.
"Good is good in the final hour, at the brink of death. Virtue is only virtue in extremis" said one of the singers.
These words seem to light a fire under Penfold, a spark of creativity ignited in his brain also.
Then there dawned a sensation altogether new to him, he could feel his soul come alive.
He heard a song.
"I can do this...I can do this" Penfold said, screaming.
With one last burst of strength, he tugged hard at the lever, and he finally switched it over, shutting the machine down.
DM grabbed a piece of the shattered glass and used it to deflect the laser blasts from the panel patrol back at them, destroying his attackers in the process.
Katerina's face contorted in anguish and dismay as her plans came to nothing,Danger Mouse dashed up to her and handcuffed the sly scientist.
"Well done Penfold, I can assure you I won't forget this in a hurry like I do all your birthdays" DM replied.
"Thanks Chief, but why do I suddenly feel the urge to seek out a recording booth all of a sudden?" Penfold asked.
The K-Popstars all looked at each other and beamed with joy.
"He has the calling" they said in unison
"I think you've earned yourself a fanbase there old chap" complimented Danger Mouse.
"But Cheif, I failed, they no longer have their musical talents" said Penfold.
"Never mind us" said a band member.
"Yes, our voice is now your voice, you have the power of our genre on your lips and our spirits liven your soul. Take advantage of it, sing of this moment, act it out even"
"Does anything cease to perk you up?" DM asked.
"Only when the world ceases to sing is our volume at its lowest" the group spoke once again in unison, which spooked Danger Mouse slightly.
Right, that's it, another adventure over for our intrepid Danger Agents...or is it?
Let's skip ahead a few days, Your humble narrator always likes to sneak a preview of the following week's episodes on the BBC I-Player.
Right, there's DM, he's busy fighting the Snowman...but wait, where's Penfold?
We'd best check back at the Mayfair HQ.
Wow, the streets of London seem to flooded with the sights and sounds of screaming fangirls
Ah, there's Col. K and Squawkencluck trying to make their way into headquarters, let's catch up with them.
I say...fellows?
"Not now narrator" Squawk shrieked as she climbed up a literal hill made of teeny boppers, struggling to sustain the Colonel's weight on her shoulders as he piggy-backed on her. The two finally reached the front door, they activated the lock, the doors opened and they dashed inside and swiftly closed it, though some of the fan girls spilled in.
"Oh my goodness, I'm actually inside the Pen Poldeu's pad" ne of the fan girls squealed.
"Quick, where's the bathroom?" she asked Squawk.
"Why? Do you badly need the toilet?" Squawk inquired.
"No, I want to get my mits on Pen Poldeu's toothbrush, or the towels he uses to dry himself with. Anything with his pretty hairs on it" the fan girl cried out.
Squawk grabbed her by the throat and shook her violently before climbing up a ladder and lawn darting the fangirl out of the letterbox exit port.
As she climbed down and set her sights on the other fangirls, they swiftly backed off.
Danger Mouse arrived back at HQ to vent about the situation.
Perhaps now would be the best time to ask, since I'm a week behind, what exactly happened over the last five days?
"Oh it all started when we got back home, we took Katarina's machine back with us hoping to find some means of reverse engineering it so it could somehow restore the musical talent back to the performers, but because Penfold had absorbed all of the musicians' musical abilities, he also took their advise and express his near demise and the struggle to save the day through song. The result was a new K-Pop sensation. He even gave himself a new name"
Penfold? A popstar? Well it could be worse, he could have the voice of Rowan Keating.
Danger Mouse and Squawk made their way back to the lab where Katarina's K-Pop Pirating hardware was stored.
"I've found ways of reversing the procedure, but it'll require output from the energy orb to channel through the living vessel sitting atop the live terminal" Squawk explained.
"So in other ways, Penfold has to wilfully place himself in mortal danger to replenish the popstars" DM asked.
"Not on your nelly you two" came a voice behind them
Penfold, flanked by fangirls, entered the room, signing as many autographs as he could.
Squawk and DM were transfixed by his appearance.
"Penfold...are those hair extensions?" he said, noting the messy shreds of hair on Penfold's head.
"I don't know what you mean Chief, this is my natural hair, I'm going back to basics...I don't even need my glasses"
Penfold took the shades off and showed off his sparkling eyes. Squawk felt something sensational tickle her close to her heart, but she maintained her composure.
Other fangirls were not so professional.
Mesmerised by Penfold's gaze, they all locked their arms tightly around him.
DM and Squawk retreated to his and Penfold's living quarters.
"He's all over the place Professor, surely not every girl can be taken in by this?"
"Yatta, yatta, hamster sweet jewel" the fan girls sang badly transcribed k-pop lyrics aloud, having made good on their promise to inspect the bathroom.
"Yes, well, ask a silly question"
The Colonel suddenly burst into the room in alarm.
"Emergency DM, the Baron's up to his usual tricks, he's been spotted depositing a mixture of chemicals into the city's main reservoir" he said.
"Chemicals in the water? Isn't that what's turning the frogs that funny pink colour?" DM asked.
"Get a move on, you and Preston" the Colonel ordered.
Penfold, or rather Poldeu, wasn't having any of it.
"I'm afraid my fans wouldn't be able to bear it if I went out adventuring and it messed with my style or talents, I could end up with a throat infection around all those chemicals, and worse, this leisurely looking sleek white vest and bauble jacket could get creased. I'll not stand for that"
"If you won't participate in averting a world crisis Pineapple, then you'll find a whole different kind of crisis to deal with, namely an employment crisis" the Colonel replied.
"I can change the world through my performances, I have a song in my soul and a story to tell, a tale of being courageous in the final fateful moments of life, it's this reason above all people love me. I held back the end, and in doing so I hold ever so tightly on to their hearts" Poldeu replied.
Squawk saw some of the girls were crawling all over him as he spoke those words, she was close to boiling point.
"If you can't appreciate my message, I'll take it elsewhere. Goodbye" said Poldeu and stormed out of the room.
"Well, I guess I'll have to take Danger Moth with me on this mission then" said DM.
"Are you sure? She did take a rattling from Night Night a few days ago" said the Colonel.
"She needs to recover quickly, and who better to lead her out the other side of midnight than me?" said DM.
As Pen Poldeu left the Mayfair headquarters, the girls disengaged from him, their eyes having tuned an odd scarlet colour, and filled into an alleyway.
"Hey, where are you all going?" said Poldeu as he followed them in.
To his astonishment, he found the girls had vanished and in their place was a tall, cloacked figure with a long beak and two savage looking fangs eating a stick of celery.
"Duckula" Poldeu said, recognizing the Transylvanian Vampire Duck.
"Apologises Pensqueak, I had to get you away from that forceful fandom of yours to offer you my services" he said.
"Services?" Poldeu asked, a little intimidated.
"I want to be your representative on the passing music scene, you and I could not only light up the industry, but we could keep the temperature rising. Your story is one that touches us all, even in our very private places. We all love a good yank at the heart...though me personally could do without a stake through it"
"Why should I trust you?" Poldeu replied.
"Don't trust me, trust the dollar signs in my eyes and your own" Duckula said, taking out a pen and attempting to doodle such signs on his proposed client's eyelids.
"Maybe I should consult the chief on this" said Poldeu.
"He'll just oppose you, you don't need that drama in your life...or...wait, hold that thought, maybe you do"
TO BE CONTINUED