Come one, come all!
I just wanted to note some layout before we delve in:
Long periods of time passed shall be indicated via two horizontal line breaks. Every five or so chapters I will recap the time changes just to ensure no one is confused.
I will be altering some things we are used to in the Supernatural universe. Such as, bringing characters back that have already died or changing attributes of non-mortal beings. This is not completely AU but some things are changed.
This is a WIP therefore be aware that I may re-read a chapter and alter it. If one is altered significantly I will warn you.
I leave you to it then:
The feel of skin on skin, soft pants and pleasured gasps, all of it was just a whim. Anything that could squirm beneath him would have sufficed; a local girl from a bar, a tip out at the strip club. It just happened that Castiel was the nearest warm body and Dean needed it bad. Dean knew that what they had done was wrong. That even thinking about it now was just disgusting. For the almighty God's sake, he had fucked an angel – a guy angel. But what was he supposed to do? Go back in time and fix it?
The pent-up frustration got the best of him this time, so what if this was the only way he could think to get rid of it. Lots of people engaged in animalistic, no-strings-attached, sex.
He knew Castiel did not deserve that sort of fling; it was on the forefront of his mind. Cas hadn't known that the taunts and teases that he was unintentionally doing would cause the Winchester to lose any bit of restraint. Who stands that close to someone if they do not want to fuck it out? The angel was practically breathing down his neck the whole time he was talking to Sam.
"Cas, what did I do to you?" slowly, Dean sucked in a shallow breath. He had to hold up for Cas's sake. That's all he was good for now. No chick flick moments, no regrets, just regular talking and explaining. This was Castiel, angel of the Lord, he would understand.
Tracing Cas's hip tentatively, Dean could make out dark purple bruises even through the grim darkness. Feeling further up the angel's torso, Dean could feel harsh fingernail imprints, could see distinct bruising all along his chest, even a few bite marks. Saying he was repulsed by himself was an understatement, he was utterly appalled. Worst yet, he could not get mad at Castiel, the angel was just too blameless, this was all on him.
What will Sammy think? I just took advantage of our… my angel.
"Dean..." sleepily Castiel mumbled into the inky black room , gazing up into Dean's haunted, brooding expression, "What is the matter?" bright sapphire eyes filled with concern, eyes brows furrowing in genuine confusion as he pulled off the lost puppy look. A look that screamed I am here to listen. Dean had to bat the dirty thoughts that barked at him with ways of turning that face into a much more blissful one.
"Cas... I'm so sorry, Castiel," Dean croaked out, his moss-green eyes filled with pure remorse. Peering down into the angel's half-lidded, sleep hazed eyes, he knew now would be the best time to talk about it for their sake. Cas probably would not remember it in the morning any way if it was anything like half of the women he fucked to oblivion. It was worth a shot.
And if he did remember, well this was worth any smite to come; to see Castiel in this vulnerable state, to feel normal. Like a couple of teens afraid of getting pregnant because they did not have a condom. Dean's stomach flipped a little at the thought, asking his brain if he should keep down the couple of beers he had managed for dinner.
"Do you remember?" even though Dean's gruff voice quivered, he still held up. Castiel slowly, cautiously sat up on his elbow as though the movement may scare away Dean. With his other hand Castiel stroked Dean's cheek softly, reassuringly. He was desperately trying to convey the message that everything was going to be perfectly alright.
"Yes, we engaged in sexual activities," white teeth showed through plump lips as they stretched into an unsure smile. Castiel was being very tentative, something extremely human to Dean. It was slightly unnerving to witness how he has changed over the years, but he found it a bit endearing.
"Leave it to an angel to make it sound unfun," Dean bantered lightly, normal shit eating grin in place
"Unfun is not even a word, Dean. That is improper English," Cas thought about offering some suggestions, but took instead to starring lightly at the blanket. A comfortable silence fell over the room leaving the boys feeling warm and homely even in the shady motel room. The hunter and angel looked up to softly stare at one another unconsciously shifting closer.
Uncertainly, the boys pressed their lips together. The kiss showed just how scared they were to lose one another. It lasted only seconds but it felt like an eternity. A life time of unbidden emotions was poured into that minuscule period of time. Things that could not be said aloud were shared through one gesture. It lit a flame within both bodies they did not care to lose.
"Dean..."
"Whatever happens, Cas, I still love you. Whether it is like this," he placed another peck on the angel's sinfully inviting lips as a point, "or like another brother."
"You took the words from my mouth."
Doubt still filled the room as the two fell into a light sleep tangled in each other's limbs. It all was just seemed like desperate love. Two broken boys - fallen and scathed – clinging to one another all because the other was the only life line in sight. But, both realized just how deep they had it in for one another. They were prepared for a long life of late night pillow talks and cuddles for the rest of their lives if the other would graciously allow it.
"Dean! Wake up, I think I found a le-" the younger Winchester cut his sentence short with a smirk, "Well, I'll be damned."
The scene in front of him sketched a picture of love at its finest. Dean lay on his back, a cream colored sheet covering his lower regions in the all the perfect places. Shadows whisked their way up the hunters muscled chest to play in the dips and curves between his body and the sheets. A very dead to the world Castiel lay snuggled into his side, entangling their hands on top of the hunter's chest. His hair splayed across the pillow much like dark halo, fine morning stubble gave him a rugged look. Soft morning sun bathed the couple in a warm amber glow; their chests rose and fell in flawless rhythm. Sam smiled softly at the two for a minute or so before Dean stirred and sat up. Much to the younger brother's disappointment, the look on his brother's face when he realized they were not alone was not of contentment but was of attrition.
"Sam, I... uh..." Dean trailed off looking from Castiel to his brother and back to Castiel. Not sure if he should wake the angel or bolt out of the room or both.
"Hey, hey, hey. Don't worry about it. It's not like I'm gonna disown you for being... gay?" the other hunter finished questioningly. Was his bother really gay after all that sleazing around with women? Was this a fling? Maybe Castiel just crawled into bed with Dean after a long night. That last one seemed a bit unreasonable. The angel did not need to sleep after a long night.
"Whoa dude, I am not... gay," the oldest Winchester dragged the word out as though he was testing it. The low talking seemed to awaken Castiel as the angel sat up and pawed at his eyes closely resembling a toddler.
"What is this all about?" Castiel questioned the two men in a sleep ruffed voice. He glared softly and pulled the sheets more towards him, this whole waking up thing sucked on so many levels.
"Well, Sammy knows about our toss in the sheets," Dean looked toward Cas timidly, afraid of what the heavenly being may say. That may be the one thing to finally break the ruse; the weeks had been nice.
"So, your poi-" deep blue eyes widened in pain as he rushed to the bathroom. Dean shot up after him, pulling on boxers and a t-shirt as he went.
"Cas? Castiel? Are you alright?" a cool hand laid upon his sweating back as he vomited up nothing. Dean felt fear nudge its way up his throat, constricting the muscles and causing ice to flow through his veins. What has he done?
Pulling away from the toilet, the divine being glanced up into perturbed emerald green eyes with a look of pure terror, "I believe something is wrong here."
"You think?" Dean practically growled out. He glared daggers into the back of Cas's head. Dude had to learn to elaborate more in certain situations.
"Dean, come on!" Sam snapped at his brother. The youngest wrapped Castiel in one of the cheap sheets from the bed, blushing when he found Cas was completely unfazed by his nude state. The angel was shivering lightly grasping at his stomach at nausea radiated through his body. He felt dizzy and like he may dry heave again.
Each male glanced at one another in turn as the same thought ran through their heads.
"This can't be what I think it is, could it?"
Dean's hunched over figure paced the dingy hotel room in worry and frustration. He could hear soft murmuring from behind the door across from him and flinched at the distressed whine that could only be Castiel. What the hell was Sam doing back there?
Dean stared at the door, attempting to light it on fire when Sam slowly opened it. "Calm down, man. What's with the intense staring? Trying to become Cas?" the younger Winchester took a step back when he saw the look on his brother's face. Dean glanced apologetically toward his brother as he tried to step into the bathroom. He needed to get to his angel; he needed to know what was wrong and he needed to know now. For all he knew he had just crossed the finish line in getting Cas's angelic superiority ripped from him and he was slowly dying inside.
"Oh no you don't!" Sam grabbed the hunter by the jacket and steered him away from the adjoining room. The young hunter looked down at him softly, eyes radiating compassion and empathy. Dean was practically bathing in the emotions. Groaning, Dean glared at the taller man, trying very hard not to turn and bloody his nose for stopping him. "Is he okay? Will he be okay? What's going on?"
Sam sighed as he led Dean over to his bed. Sitting eye to eye, the older hunter could see the stern, I-won't-tell-you-all-riled-up, look on his brother's face. Finally, he took in deep breath after deep breath before relaxing in his brother's grip. The younger smiled slightly, sadly, as he let go of Dean. He glanced towards the bathroom door for a long moment before meeting Dean's eyes once more.
"He's fine and I think he'll be fine. Cas is just in a lot of pain right now. What I don't know is why this is happening."
Throwing his hands up in irritation Dean began to pace the room again. Sam's green eyes followed his every movement making sure he stayed far from the bathroom. No need to disturb the angel in a time of weakness like this. Sighing in defeat the older Winchester sat back down across from his worried brother.
"Sammy, it's all my fault."
Sam huffed quietly at the nickname, now just was not the time, "It isn't your fault," large hands rubbed at Dean's biceps in a comforting manner. He patted his brother's shoulder before settling his hands in front of him. The older hunter looked at Sam dubiously.
"If it wasn't for me, Cas wouldn't be like this! What if he's... if he's... that," Dean growled out the last of his sentence. His hands became to sweat as he clenched his fingers, really wanting to punch something, someone, "Son of a bitch!"
"Dean, if you will, please be quiet. I have a terrible headache," Cas whined as he half leaned against the wall half stumbled out of the bathroom clothed only in the sheet Sam had given him. He looked so sick and frail under the huge mass of the cover. It was as if they had engulfed him, ready to swallow him up and take him away for good. The older Winchester decided he hated the look immediately.
"You okay man?" Dean helped the angel over to the plush bed deciding to rid the angel of the cover. The hunter rummaged around in his duffle bag for a bit. He pulled out one of his old t-shirts and a pair of boxers. Sauntering back over to Castiel he held out the two pieces of fabric mumbling that they'd be more comfortable than his suit.
Smiling softly the angel took them gratefully and slipped on the clothing. Castiel offered Sam a small smile asking for a bit of privacy in order to speak with his brother. Without a word the Winchester hurried out the door with Dean's keys. Mid-morning sun illuminated the dusty room and the notice of the dark shadow of gloom that had settled over the three boys before the light had seeped through became apparent to the hunter. With a nod of his head, Dean decided to open the blinds and bask in the dwindling October warmth found there.
"So, talking?" Dean smiled as he looked over at Cas. The angel continued to look scarily more human and human as he lay sprawled on the bed in Dean's far too large garments. His hand slowly ran up and down his stomach playing casually with the hem of the t-shirt. For once a fully relaxed look graced his chiseled features as he slowly looked toward Dean, humming quietly. Dean found himself gazing a little too long at his angel, man was he starting to go soft or…
"Yes, about what is going on," Castiel started slowly almost as if he thought the conversation would have the hunter jump out of the window and run for the hills. The look in his eye spoke those same words as he met Dean's steady gaze. He could take it. He would listen to whatever the angel said and he would be perfectly okay with it. They were in this together.
Dean sat next to the divine being. He gazed levelly into the ocean of the other's eyes, his jaw set and mouth slightly tilted up. "Alright, let's get talking then." Cas's eyes lit up when the okay was given; he was really going to give it thought, say it perfectly. Sitting up, the angel brought his knees up to his chest and rested his chin upon them now playing with the fray of the comforter.
"It may be an odd question to ask, but at any point in the last few weeks have you used a condom?" Cas tilted his head to the side in a gesture of pure innocence when his fingers lightly quoted the word condom. Dean groaned at the inquiry before laying a hand on the angel's head and tousling the already messy locks.
"Cas, man, you are not a chick. That doesn't have anything to do with whatever this is. There is no way in Hell I could have gotten you knocked up."
"Quite the contrary actually; I can still get 'knocked up'," the angel used over dramatic air quotes as he said the two offending words, "It is just a little different from when it happens to humans."
"Do tell," Dean mocked as he threw up his hands in an exasperated manner.
Cas frowned at the hunter's behavior before continuing, "Since I am an angel of the Lord, I am really gender less although I am considered male thanks to my vessel. This said I can conceive without my vessel being female if it is the right person."
"So you're saying I am the one?"
"In a way, yes, I always have said you and I share a profound bond. I've touched your soul, Dean. I raised you from Hell and looked after you. My claim is on you as well as in me."
"This sounds like some sort of fucked up chick flick!" Dean whined as he stood from the bed and stood next to the window once more. The sun's rays, sweet caresses on heated skin, made him look beautiful to the angel lounging on the bed. His aesthetic looks making him seem a mirage, that there was no way he was here with the likes of Castiel.
"Why are you referencing movies at a time like this, Winchester?"
Dean peered at Castiel through the corner of his eye. Noticing an out of place emotion of hurt on the seraph's face caused the blonde to immediately move to his side. Plump lips lightly grazed Cas's brow asking for forgiveness that was quickly accepted through a lean into the gentle, fragile gesture.
"I just... Castiel, are you? Can it happen that fast?"
Eyes, set ablaze by pure regret, closed in tired submission. A shaky breath left his chapped lips as he searched for the correct words; the words that would not send the man next to him running. This is not how he wanted this to go, to be done. He wanted them to be happy about this. It did not happen often after all. They were special; Dean was making this out to be quite the opposite.
"With the way my vessel works, it can. It would accelerate how quickly the… sperm reached its destination. Put into consideration how strong our bond is, it happens much quicker than with a human female. But I can safely assume we have been together intimately close to eight weeks. We may not have been together often but it is enough."
A nervous laugh left the older Winchester's lips right next to Cas's ear. Strong arms snaked them self around the angel's lean torso and held him close to the warm, strong chest behind him, "Castiel, whenever you are ready, you find out. M'kay?" The angel cuddled into the warmth of the other body almost stealing it all away. This explained the human gestures; Cas was really just becoming a girl. Dean smiled softly at the thought of a pretty girl Castiel all bundled up next to him. However, God just would not give him a break today forcing painful realization to kick in that the angel next to him was pretty but a guy.
"If I am to find out, I will need to go back to Heaven," Cas mumbled offhandedly jutting Dean out of his thoughts and back to the real world, "Why?" Dean inquired as he stroked the thick brown locks distractedly. Castiel arched into the soft petting, searching for more. He could get used to this affection, it was comforting and homely. It screamed Dean.
"To be examined. I suppose I could call one of my brothers down here. Although I do not know how well you will enjoy that," Dean groaned at the statement before laying his head on Castiel's shoulder; he continued to tell himself all the gestures where to keep Cas in a happy state and not for his own enjoyment. Considering he could obviously tell how well the angel took to the light touches.
"Which feathery asshole this time?"
"I would prefer someone of the likes of Gabriel or Balthazar. Although a number of my brothers or sisters would be happy to oblige."
Dean's head shot up at the mention of the trickster. He really did not want to deal with that little shit right now. But he was already in a jumpy mood, just might as well throw in Gabe.
"Now should I go back to heaven or call them here?" Castiel asked softly turning to look at Dean fully in the face.
"Call Gabe down. Sam will be all well...Sam… if we don't let him see the son of a bitch. I'm going to hop in the shower you sit tight," the Winchester sauntered back over to his opened duffle grabbed one of his few outfits and made his way over to the bathroom clicking the door shut quickly.
"Now why would he jump around in the shower?" Cas muttered to himself shaking his head. Human customs could really get to him some times. Once the angel was over the phrase he prayed softly to Gabriel, asking for his immediate assistance although he did not really believe it would bring him there any quicker.
"What is it, little bro?" A blonde man with a very shady smirk swaggered over to the angel on the bed. He grabbed him up in a warm bear hug squeezing ever so softly.
"Gabriel, I need you to check if I have conceived a child or not," Cas stated bluntly causing his brother to sputter and choke. Gabe looked at him in disbelieve for a moment before pulling away from Castiel entirely.
"So you finally did it, huh," Gabriel's smirk got all the more larger, "lay down dear brother."
Castiel did as he was told, laying belly up on the scratchy mattress. He stared at the ceiling waiting for Gabriel to do something. Finally the archangel sat on the bed and many moments of awkward groping later the blonde pulled back with a loving grin on his face.
"Castiel, it's your lucky day."
"You mean?"
"Yup," the grin got larger.
"Son of a bitch!" a loud crack was heard as both angel's where alerted to the human standing with the bathroom door wide open, a crack now running from the knob up the cheap wallpaper. His face was livid and his eyes full of shame. Gabriel stood slightly in front of his brother in case he ended up needing to suppress some surprise attack, watching as the hunter stalked towards the outside door.
"Dean wait, please!" Cas cried out in vain, but it was too late, Dean's form was already blurred by the distance between them.