Title: Azumanga Death Note

Rating: T

Summary: The Kira Case just got more difficult for everyone involved. The Azumanga Gang joins the Task Force to find the real Kira is. L, Light, or Chiyo-Chan?

Warning: Light Yagami is actually the least insane character.

Pairings: LxOsaka

The auditorium was as packed as a case of sardines, overflowing with family's of and the newest pupils of To-Oh University. The students' eyes were brimming with hope and confidence in the future and glimmering with ideals. One wanted to work for Interpol. One wanted to purify the world with convoluted plots with magical notebooks, shinigami, and potato chips to bring happiness, which would stem from multitudes of murders all over the world. One wanted to catch the crazy mass murderer before the end of the month so he would win a bet he had made with an old man for a special cheesecake. And one, she simply wanted to go the rest of her life without being shot again.

Some ideals, like the dream to avoid getting shot, were more insane than others. But the hopeful youths all had their goals, and all of them would fight tooth and nail to reach them.

And that Freshman Address would start a battle between four people that would shake the world to its roots.

"Next, we have the Freshman Address. Given by our Freshman Representatives, Light Yagami…"

The student with the aforementioned ideals and name, Light Yagami, rose from his seat, not a chocolate-colored hair inching out of place as he calmly stalked towards the stage.

"Along with Hideki Ryuga, Tomo Takino, and Chiyo Mihama."

The long list of names slightly perturbed the adolescent, and the did his best not to look surprised by the long parade of names that rang from the speakers. He had known that he was going to be giving the speech with at least one other person – he had been informed before he had written his, and he was a genius after all, so he wouldn't have forgotten - but three?

The student chosen to give the Freshman Address was always the one who had scored the highest on the Entrance Exam.And Light had, naturally, gotten a perfect score on his exam, which was certainly nothing to be ashamed of. So, for four students to be giving the Freshman Address meant that all four of them had to have gotten the same score as he: a one hundred percent.

This fact made him curious to see his test-taking equals, so he stole a quiet glance over his shoulder, where his three peers were marching behind him. What he saw made him even more baffled.

The one man, who would therefore have to have the only masculine name mentioned, and thusly carry the title 'Hideki Ryuga' was the weird fellow who always sat in a strange way a few rows behind Light during the exams. He had always stuck out like a sore thumb, and now was no exception as he wore nothing but a loose sweatshirt and dirty jeans to the To-Oh ceremony.

Next to Ryuga was a girl with cropped hair, daft eyes, and, from the way her hand was streaking through the air as she waved enthusiastically to the crowd, had an endless amount of energy and rivaled Ryuga on the ability to stick out.

But the third one, the third one stole the cake from all of them. She was walking with a bounce in her step, making her pink pigtails bob up and down. She was incredibly short, flat chested…and Light had to be honest, she looked as if she was either twelve or thirteen, not a college freshman. Either way, Light was quite impressed with her: because it was the first time the mighty Kira ever had to fight with himself not to shout 'It's so cuute!' at the top of his lungs. And she was adorable 99…the one-percent being dropped due to the stained bandage around her left shoulder.

But after seeing the other three individuals, Light began to wonder how hard that test really was supposed to be if three nuts like them could all get such high marks.

He didn't mull the matter much longer in his mind when he reached the podium and began to give his speech. Though he wasn't even listening to himself – and certainly nobody else was. The whole room was buzzing as the other students started to gossip among themselves about the peculiar foursome of 100-percent scores, and, the other three top graders weren't paying much attention either. Well, Ryuga might've, he was staring blankly at Light through big dark eyes, and at any other time this might've made him uncomfortable, but there were much more disturbing going-ons around him than his classmate's stalker-like tendencies.

"Hey, Chiyo," the shorthaired brunette was poking the preteen, speaking in a stage –whisper. "We have to give a speech?" Without waiting for Mihama to answer, the girl swept on. "Well, I forgot to write one. Let me read yours, okay?"

"B-but Ms. Tomo!" Chiyo whined. "We both can't read the same speech!"

"Sure we can, nobody'll care!" Tomo playfully nudged the other girl on the bandaged shoulder, which made Chiyo unleash a yelp. "Oops, sorry, that's the spot where you were shot in America, right? Does it hurt?" As if the first painful gargle hadn't been an answer, Tomo poked it once more, and got the same reaction. "I guess Mr. Tadakichi didn't help you out much, did he?"

Light fought the urge to turn around and scold Tomo Takino for poking the ball of cuteness that was Chiyo; was it really so hard to conform oneself to be acceptable for the rest of society's members…and not poke huggable children, but he felt that if he did it would only encourage Tomo's antics and make a scene that he wasn't interested in participating in. Besides, he would have rather finished his speech uninterrupted.

Not that he'd get to, of course, because ultimately Tomo pushed him out of the way, and took his spot in front of the podium. "That was boring," she hissed, waving the paper she had stolen from Chiyo in the air. "Mine's ten times better than yours…" She cleared her throat in an over-dramatic way before she began. "I admit that it was hard for me, entering high school at the tender age of ten and rising through the ranks to ultimately enter one of the most prestigious schools in this country at thirteen. I've faced hardships, not the least being when my dream of going to school in the states was shattered by a street mugger with a gun, but…"

Light, inferring that it was really the small Chiyo Mihama that had been attacked by a gunman, suddenly felt a burst of incentive and impatience for the silly ceremony to close so he could go home and start scribbling in his notebook. Little Mihama had wanted to go to school in America for whatever reason, and her ideals were smashed by the mere push of a trigger. Soon, he would create a world where someone even tinier, cuter, and even more defenseless than Chiyo could walk down an even darker alley without a shred of fear. No bullets would fly into thirteen-year-old girls' shoulders, no one-percent of cuteness would be lost from a bandage, no…

"Hey, Mister?"

His thoughts were jumbled by a soft poke in his side. He looked down to stare into the big round eyes of Chiyo Mihama herself. "Are you okay, Mister? You eyes got all hazy and your whole body took on a weird red tint, and…you looked evil."

Yes, upon first glance Kira would look evil, but if one just looked beneath the surface, even a naïve child such as Chiyo Mihama would realize that Kira was good, loving, and merciful: cleaning up the world one ink cartridge at a time!

But he couldn't say that. So he instead just thanked her for her concern, and assured her that he was, in fact, perfectly fine.

"Excellent inspection, Ms. Mihama," Ryuga murmured. Light jumped when the funny man spoke, he had almost completely forgotten that the panda-fellow was still looming. He said something again, this time his words were almost inaudible. "It's up a point of a percent…"

"What's up a point of a percent, Mister Ryuga?" Chiyo asked, voicing Light's thoughts.

Tomo, who was still going on about past endeavors that she had obviously never performed, seemed to hone in on the word 'percent'. She swung her head and attention over to the trio who had completely given up formalities and had formed a small semi-circle as they conversed. "What do you mean, point of a percent?!" Then, Tomo came to the obvious conclusion: "You mean that if you look evil, you get extra credit? So on the entrance exam that Yagami guy got a one-hundred point one percent?!" She gave Light a death-glare, that made Light shudder, worrying that looks could, in fact, kill. But he survived, her knew from the squealing voice that roared into the microphone "I'll show you! I can look and act evil too! I'm going to have a two-hundred percent score by the time this is done!"

Tomo's eyebrows seemed to grow twice their size as they furrowed and she smashed them down into a perfect vee above her eyes. She gripped her paper as if she were trying to choke the life out of it, and continued talking about Chiyo's encouragements towards her classmates in a rasping, cruel-sounding voice that would've made angels cringe.

The monstrosity was cut short by a furious, eat-shattering cry from the audience: "TOMO!! THAT'S NOT YOUR SPEECH!!"

"Shut up, Yomi!" Tomo spat, not missing a beat as she leaned forward to clutch the microphone as if it were going to retreat from her snapping jaws. "If you're so smart and know everything like who wrote whose speech, how come you didn't get a one-hundred percent?"

Now Light was aggravated and had to step in. He placed a hand on her shoulder and said, "Takino, you're being rather disruptive so may I request that - "

Tomo's eyes became comically round as her mouth dropped into a gape. "Whoa!" she gasped, cutting Light's words short. "You're one of those guys that got a perfect score on this exam without cheating off of Chiyo, huh?" She thought for a moment. "Yeah, you couldn't have cheated, you were on the other side of the room!" Light was about to completely lose his temper – she was disruptive, loud, and she cheated?! But before he could, the girl continued. "You're my new rival!"

Light stared blankly at her. "I'm sorry…I'm…your…your what?"

Tomo nodded. "Yup! I did the speech evilly, so I bet I got a higher percentage on the exam than you already, and I'm going to get higher grades than you in every class too! And we take all the same courses, don't we?"

"We do?"

"Yeah, you said in your speech that you were gonna be a police officer," she rolled her eyes as she spoke, as if it was completely obvious what she was getting at. "Well, so am I. But you're going to have to call me Ma'am when we graduate, because I'm going to be a high-ranking officer in the ICPO."

Light just stared at her.

"You know. Interpol."

Light was getting into a horrible habit of just staring at this girl, unable to come up with a rational, yet polite, response to anything she said. Her… in Interpol? Admittedly, he liked the idea. If Tomo were in Interpol, Kira would never be caught.

He never did reply to her. He wasn't expected to right away either, because the chaos quickly died down – mostly from Tomo being forcibly removed from the podium by the two newest staff of To-Oh University: a professor and a coach, Ms. Yukari and Ms. Kurosawa. Chiyo repeated the same speech that Tomo gave, but nobody seemed to mind because they were too busy marveling at her small stature and age to notice, and then Hideki Ryuga pulled out a blank piece of paper and started to mumble something about the future, and cupcakes and…something. Finally, the four of them began to return to their seats.

Mihama and Takino ran on ahead, sitting in a large group of girls that seemed to welcome them as if they had been friends for a great amount of time. Or not – one of them, a long-haired girl with glasses gave Tomo the smack over the head that Light had wanted to just a few moments ago.

As Light started towards the open chair he had been occupying earlier, which was flanked by Tomo, Hideki Ryuga started to spout some weird things that only an obsessed fanboy would know. It was making Light uncomfortable, made him think he had collected a stalker, but his ears tuned in when the funny looking man mentioned that he knew something about the Kira case, and asked him if he would like to know.

Light sat himself down, and closed his eyes thoughtfully, ignoring Ryuk's chuckling behind him. Yagami had almost completely forgotten about the shinigami, but he supposed that that was something to be expected when there were people like Tomo wreaking havoc on the world.

He told Hideki that he was interested in the information.

The gangly man turned his pale face towards him, his black eyes shiny, as if they were purposely made just to reflect the shock on his face that would appear when Hideki Ryuga said, "I am L."

For a moment, the entire room seemed to go silent. All Light could hear was his own mind cracking with the weight of the knowledge that had just been thrown onto it. He zipped through the possible conclusions, that this weird guy was insane, that he was L's errand boy, that he really was L himself…

He grasped firmly on his self-control to keep himself from screaming and showing his panic. If this guy was L that meant that he clued in on his identity of Kira and – he couldn't show any signs of discomfort.

But he was feeling discomfort! If this man really was L, than he had probably revealed himself to the Task Force and to Light's father as L as well. And if he had done that, than Light, even if he miraculously found out his real name, he couldn't kill him because he'd immediately fall under suspicion!

"Whoa!" Tomo, who had been sitting on Light's other flank, literally snapped the whole upper torso of her body towards Ryuga so that it was looming over Light's lap. "You're L!?"

How Tomo had heard Hideki's whispered words, Light would never know, but it was no secret how everyone else in the room heard the exclamation of surprise, as the insane girl shouted the phrase so loud that it rose far beyond that of the speakers and echoed off of every wall.

This time, the room really did become silent for a few moments, before everyone started to whisper to their peers about the curiosity of that statement, and wondering who had shouted it.

"Well?" Tomo asked, having not removed her position from Light's lap. "Are you L?"

L looked uncomfortable, which Light guessed from his manner of sitting and dressing, was very unusual for the other man. Light used this time of silence to his advantage, giving himself even more time to collect his thoughts. Already, the original threat L had imposed had been neutralized: now everyone in the entire auditorium had heard the energetic girl's exclamation, and if L died, it could have been any singular person in the Freshman Class at To-Oh.

"No, you're not L," Tomo shook her head, not giving the man any time to reply – if he was ever going to. She sat back into her chair. "If you're L, then I'm Kira."

"It's possible," L returned quickly. "You do share many of Kira's characteristics, Ms. Takino."

"I do?"

"Indeed. From this meeting alone, you have already proved that you are immature and competitive. What's more, you fall into the age group that we originally pegged Kira to be in."

"You pegged Kira to be a college student?" Tomo blinked. "Huh. That's funny, I always thought that Kira would be a dragon or something."

Kira…

A…

Dragon?

Light guessed he could see that. In some cultures dragons were considered sacred guardians to…

"Because Kira is probably all scaly and icky like one. And I bet Kira can fly and breath fire too!" Tomo's eyes were wide and full of wonder. "I wish I was Kira. Dragons are cool."

"Indeed they are," L agreed, clicking his thumbnail against his mouth. "However, I believe that Kira is merely someone immature and childish, who had a great power thrust into their laps."

"Dragons can be immature. Dragons have laps. Kira's a dragon"

"They could be immature and have laps, but I doubt Kira is a dragon," L once again allowed for Tomo's illogic to go unpunished. "No, instead, I think Kira is someone else."

"Who? Me?" Tomo gasped. "Wow, I'm a criminal mastermind! Hey Chiyo," she turned to her friend beside her, "I'm Kira!"

"No, I don't think you are," L shook his head. "In reality, I had been planning to speak to you both separately, but due to Takino's interference, I must get right to the point." L glanced at Light. "I currently have two people whom I suspect to be Kira. One, is you, Light Yagami." Before Light could react, L swung his head into Chiyo's direction. "And, the other possibility…would be you, Chiyo Mihama."

Mihama's eyes widened, and she was still as a statue for several seconds before she began to cry. "I'm…I'm…I'm not Kira! I'm not a murderer!"

Well, that was definitely something. I had wanted to make an Azumanga Daioh-Death Note crossover for...awhile. I didn't work as hard as I could've on this, so I apologize for any typos you might find and for the sloppy writing style. Oh, and please drop a review to tell me how you felt on the way out!