Chapter 1 - Sleep

(Hypnos POV)

As soon as I wake up, I'm always greeted by the same thing…"Get out of bed you lazy moron!" Ugh…That arrogant little brat…No wonder he was thrown out of Olympus…

"I'm the god of sleep. I need at least 14 hours of rest a day…" Yes, I am indeed the Greek god of sleep. What? You've never heard of me? Seriously? Okay, well, I'm the son of Erebus and Nyx. I have…A lot of siblings. Quite frankly however, I hate almost all of them. The brat who I have to share a room with is Momus. He's the god of blame. "And besides, it's only 6:00…"

"And?"

"And shut up…"

"Everyone, get the f**k up! It's time for breakfast." My father called out. Did I mention he hates everyone except mom? From the other room, I hear Thanatos waking up. He's my twin brother. He also hates everyone. He must get it from dad. As for how I heard a usually silent process…

"SHUT THE HADES UP YOU FATHERLESS ASSHOLE!"

"That's my boy." Dad said from the hallway, but you don't really ever know where he is. My dad, Erebus, is darkness personified. Basically, he's the ultimate nosey parent…Besides my mom, Nyx. She's night personified. So yeah. No privacy…At all. Thanatos manages it by hanging out with Hades, who does not exactly like having uninvited guests. But then again, he might just be spending all his time working…

"Why do we have to get up so early…I need my beauty rest…" My sister Oizys said from another room. We don't have very thick walls…Anyway, Momus laughs at her remark.

"You can rest all you want, you'll never be beautiful!"

"We're twins, dumbass!"

"…Didn't think about that…" I chucked at his stupidity as I got out of bed and threw my robe on. I went into the dining room, where most of my siblings were already sitting and chatting.

"If you ask me," My brother Charon, the ferryman, began. "I don't care how much you pray. If you rebel against a king who you swore you loyalty to, you belong in Tartarus." Moros scoffed at this remark. "FInd something wrong with that statement?"

"No. In fact, I agree. Clotho can be a bitch sometimes, eh?" He said smugly, only to hit in the back of the head Nemesis.

"MORON! You don't talk about the Fates that way!" Thanatos walked into the room, with an even darker and colder look on his face then usual. Everyone was silent. Out of all of us, me and Thanatos are the oldest. But while I am a laughing stock, Thanatos is loved. Or more appropriately, feared.

"How about we not talk about the Fates at all?" He spat, coldly. We all know that Thanatos doesn't like it when the Fates are mentioned. One time he nearly ripped out Moros' tongue for comparing himself to them, namely Atropos. Actually, that's a lie. He was aiming to take his entire head off. Thanatos sat down, then began to talk again. "Moros, how many people are gonna die today?"

"Somewhere in the 5,000s. Ares is starting a war today." Thanatos sighed.

"At least they'll all be in one spot…" He said. Thany, as we usually call him, is depressed all the time. It kinda makes me sad, because when we were kids, he seemed so happy…But enough about him. After I finished my ambrosia and nectar, I left to do my daily duties. Which is pretty much nothing.

I spent most of the day walking around disguised as a human. You'd be surprised how boring my life is. The only exciting things are the godly meetings, and those are usually boring too. Like the other day…

"And that's why we are going to replace the regular wine with Egyptian wine. Because Egyptian labor is much cheeper."

"Yes, yes. That's very interesting Dionysus."

"And this relates to the lack of mortal sacrifices…How?"

As usual, we didn't stay on topic for more than five minutes. I continued my stroll down the street when I saw Thanatos. He's following some man who's about to cross the stre-…Oh. "Hey, Thany!" I called out. Because he was also in his human disguise(A doctor of all things…) he looked at me, waved in a bored fashion, and began to walk over to me. After that we began to walk down the street and talk.

"What are you doing here, Hypnos? You know dad doesn't like us hanging around mortals too much."

"Meh, I got bored and I couldn't go to sleep."

"YOU couldn't go to sleep?"

"Shocking right?"

"Since you've got nothing else to do…Wanna come with me for my job?"

"Wh-what?" When he said that I was surprised. Thany rarely offers to take someone with him. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. You're my twin brother, so why not?"

"Well, I guess today won't be that boring. "

Not too much humor in this one...But I don't care, it's only chapter one.

The following chapters should be a lot funnier.

Oh, and just remember. Reveiw or Thany will visit your house! (Then again, you might like that too much...)