Title: Remember Atlantis

Author: stella_pegasi

Rating: K+

Genres: Action/Adventure, Hurt/comfort, Angst, Whump, Romance

Word Count: 3,955

Spoilers: No blatant spoilers…some mention of events related to Stargate overall.

Warnings: Language

Characters: John Sheppard, ?

Summary: Colonel John Sheppard wakes up after suffering a serious injury to find the memories he holds aren't real. Or are they? Now, he has to determine which reality is really his.

Disclaimer: I do not own them; I would have treated them better.

Author's Notes: Events in this story do relate back to another story I wrote called Another Life. If you have read that story, you will recognize the common thread. However, it is not necessary to read that story first.

This is a multi-chapter story and is complete. I will post the first chapters over the next few days. The last two chapters are currently in edit; bless my beta. The entire story will be posted as soon as possible.

Hope you enjoy; as always, I would love to hear from you.

Remember Atlantis

By stella_pegasi

Chapter One Awakening

The slight squeak of rubber soled shoes sliding across a tiled floor was the first sound he heard. Soft, murmuring voices drifted to him from a distance, but the words were indistinguishable. Straining to understand the voices sent sharp pains through his head, and he stopped trying.

He was becoming aware of his body; with each breath, new sensations inundated his mind. He was lying on something soft, a bed; the sheets silky, slick, beneath his fingers. As the pain subsided, he struggled to open his eyes. His eyelids fluttered gently, until he regained control, and his eyes remained open. Squinting, as he adapted to the growing light, he noticed several dark shapes lurking in the shadows, slowing focusing into objects.

Light spilled from an oversized window to his left, filtered through the thin slatted blinds. Pale drapes, falling from the ceiling along each side of the window, billowed toward the bed. He felt a soft, fragrant breeze drift across his face. The cool air, wafting through the raised window, was soothing, invigorating. His breath caught, when through the shadows, he spotted the silhouette of a small, human shape nestled in a chair. His heart beating rapidly as the realization of who was sitting quietly beside him sank in.

A familiar, petite woman sat in a wing-back chair beside his bed. Her head rested against an upholstered wing; she appeared to be sleeping. He focused on her face; her skin, the color of malt chocolate, and he knew her eyes were a startlingly, deep blue. He desperately wanted to hear her voice, to hear the soft, sing-song lilt of the Caribbean.

Opening his mouth to speak, he only managed to utter a low, raspy croak on his first try. As the tiny woman began to react to the sound of his voice interrupting her sleep, he attempted to speak again. He managed to say her name; his voice weak, raspy, but intelligible.

"Miss Gilly," he struggled to lift his trembling hand. Weakly, he reached for the woman who had raised him following his mother's death.

He felt a soft, warm hand encircle his, clasping his long fingers securely. Her other warm hand, softly stroked his cheek. Peering into her deep blue eyes, which were brimming with tears, he saw jubilation reflected in her face.

"John, my precious John, you're awake. I told these fool doctors, over and over, that you would never leave us this way." Grasping his hand even tighter, Miss Gilly pressed the call button for help. Tears were spilling down her face, as she informed the nurse who answered the call that Colonel Sheppard was awake.

Seconds later, a nurse rushed into the room, and quickly began examining John. Smiling at Miss Gilly, and then at him, she said, "Well, Colonel Sheppard, welcome back. We were all very apprehensive that you might want to stay asleep, but it appears that we were wrong. This lovely lady, however, maintained a positive attitude, and she was correct. You have awakened."

"Where am I?" John attempted to move into a more comfortable position, but he was extremely weak. As he tried to push his body into an upright position, his muscles would not cooperate.

The nurse answered, as she helped him get comfortable, "Colonel. You're in a private hospital in Washington, D.C.; your family wanted you close, and the Air Force could provide medical care for you here. When Miss Gilly gave us the good news that you were awake, we immediately contacted your doctor. He should arrive here shortly. I'm your private day nurse, Melanie. While we're waiting for your doctor, what do you need, colonel?"

He weakly answered, "Water?"

She smiled, "Of course, colonel, I'm sorry. I should have asked if you were thirsty." Pouring a glass of water for him, she helped him hold the glass as he drank. Allowing him only a few sips, she put the glass down, "Not too much at one time, colonel. You aren't used to swallowing fluids; I'll give you another sip in a few minutes. Now, I know you just woke up, but I don't want you talking or moving around too much until Dr. Beckett has examined you."

"Dr. Beckett? Carson's here?" John asked, flashing a look of surprise, first at Melanie, then at Miss Gilly.

Melanie glanced at Miss Gilly with a look of concern on her face. When she looked back at him, she casually asked John, "You know Dr. Beckett?" He nodded, laying his head back against the pillows.

Melanie smiled at him, "I know that you must have a lot of questions, colonel. I think that Dr. Beckett should be the one to answer those questions for you. The hospital administrator has contacted General Landry to let him know that you are awake. He has also called your family. Now, rest and don't pester Miss Gilly with questions. I'll be back in a few minutes."

John turned to Miss Gilly as soon as the nurse left, "How long have I been here, Miss Gilly?"

"Now, John, Melanie wants Dr. Beckett to examine you before we answer any questions. Please trust me, and be patient, Dr. Beckett is a good man, he'll tell you everything."

"I know Beckett's a good man, I just…umm…getting tired." He sank further into the pillows, closing his eyes.

"John, John…oh, I hope you are only asleep, please don't go away again."

He squeezed her hand gently, muttering, "I'm here, Miss Gilly, just…tired. Not going to go away again" He dozed off, holding her hand.

~ooOOOoo~

Sheppard felt a strong hand on his shoulder, gently shaking him, then a voice entered his head, "Colonel, wake up. Come on, laddie, you can wake up." He opened his eyes, and found himself looking into the bright blue eyes of Dr. Carson Beckett.

Struggling to rise, Sheppard spoke, his voice still raspy, "Carson…stop…shaking me, I'm awake."

A grin passed over Beckett's face. "Good to hear you being so cheeky, colonel. Even after being in a coma, your brain seems to be working just fine."

"Help me sit up; I slid down in the bed when I fell asleep." Carson and Melanie, who came in with the doctor, pulled John up into the bed; Melanie adding pillows behind him.

Dr. Beckett waited for him to get settled and then began an examination, checking the colonel's vital signs, his reflexes, his pupil reactions, asked him questions about who was president, what year it was, simple basic medicine. When he seemed satisfied with the results, he pulled a stool over to the bed and sat down.

"Colonel, tell me what you last remember."

Sheppard closed his eyes, and tried to concentrate. Visions of a large grassy plain floated across his memory, he and his team were being chased by several men as they ran toward the stargate. He began to relate his memories to Carson.

"We were running through a large field, being chased by some men. Teyla reached the DHD first, and began dialing Atlantis. Rodney, Ronon and I reached Teyla as the gate engaged, and we started running toward the event horizon. They made it through the gate; I didn't. The men who were chasing us caught up with me, and hit me with some kind of stunner. That's the last I remember."

Beckett exchanged glances with Gilly and Melanie, then smiled at Sheppard, "That sounds like an interesting dream, colonel. However, I mean what is the last real situation you remember happening to you."

John looked at Beckett and Melanie, then over to Miss Gilly, who was standing on the other side of the bed. They were all staring at him, as though he was barmy. "Carson that was the last real situation I remember. McKay, Teyla, and Ronon returned to Atlantis. I guess I was rescued; I suppose injured, and ended up here."

"John…" Dr. Beckett began to reply, then stopped; he stood up and whispered to Melanie, who left the room. "John, I don't understand. I've never heard of the people who you say you were with or this 'stargate'. As for Atlantis, are you talking about the mythological city; you must have been dreaming about it."

John could feel his heartbeat begin to increase rapidly; his heart slamming against his chest wall. His skin felt flush as a spike of adrenaline coursed through his body.

"Carson, what the hell are you talking about; you serve on Atlantis with us. Where's Rodney? Carson, tell me where Rodney is; I want to talk to Rodney now." John was becoming agitated; he threw the covers away from him, pushing himself off the bed. Beckett grabbed his arm, but Sheppard jerked his arm from Beckett's grasp, "Let me go, I have to go find Rodney, and Teyla, and Ronon."

"John, calm down, or I will have to sedate you. You are too weak to go anywhere. We'll get this sorted out." He was attempting to keep Sheppard from getting out of bed with little success. The colonel was physically weakened, but still able to put up a fight. Melanie returned, seeing Beckett struggling to prevent Sheppard from rising from his bed. She shouted for assistance as she hurried to help Beckett. Within seconds, two burly security guards rushed into the room and subdued the colonel.

"Melanie, do you have the sedative?" Beckett's voice was strained.

The nurse handed him the loaded syringe, and he injected the contents into Sheppard's IV port.

Sheppard continued to struggle until the sedative began to work. He tried to stay awake, but the drug was simply too powerful. The last image he saw, as his vision faded into darkness, was a pair of bright blue eyes watching him.

~ooOOOoo~

John began to awaken, very groggy from the sedative. Darkness shrouded the room, and he turned his head slightly toward the window, to confirm that night had indeed fallen. From across the room, he could hear several quiet voices engaged in conversation. He strained to hear what the voices were saying, knowing the conversation was about him.

A velvety, melodious female voice drifted toward him, "Dr. Beckett, how did he know you? The Air Force assigned you to his case after his injury. Until today, you and John were strangers. How do you explain this?"

"I don't know what to tell you other than to relate the facts. His brain injury is healed; I don't see any organic reason for his memory problem. Of course, there may be scarring which is causing interference in his synaptic processes. I am not a psychiatrist, so anything I say is conjecture. I have called for Dr. Ross Warren to consult; he is an Air Force psychiatrist, and he's excellent."

"Doctor, what are you telling us? Are you saying that he doesn't remember his real life? That he's babbling this nonsense about some mythical place and people we've never heard of, and he believes it? What the hell happened to him, Beckett? I know he suffered a major head injury in that helicopter crash, but were you expecting this?"

John opened his eyes slightly, trying to focus on the vague images standing across the room. He thought the low voice belonged to his brother, Dave. He didn't understand what Dave was saying; his brother had no knowledge of Atlantis, it was classified. Why would Beckett be talking to him about where John was assigned?

He strained to see in the darkened room, just able to discern bodies several feet away. He was certain that the tall, slender man was Dave. He recognized Beckett, who was facing him, but who was the petite woman standing next to Dave, facing Beckett. John felt he knew her. Her thick dark blond hair curled softly about her head; though tiny, her curves were lush, enticing. He had to know, so he decided to make them aware he was awake.

"Dave," he uttered softly, his voice gravelly from not speaking. The tall, slender man turned swiftly at the sound of his voice, as did the woman. When he saw her face, his heart skipped a beat, then began to slam hard in his chest. It simply couldn't be her; she only existed in his dreams. Although the ascended Ancient, Teer, had promised him that his destiny was to meet the lovely Isabella, she had yet to enter his life. How could Isabella be here? The tiny beauty had whirled around in reaction to his voice, a beaming smile crossing her beautiful face, as she rushed toward him. She slid her arms around his shoulders, hugging him tightly. Feeling her body against his, her soft lips and warm breath on his neck, whispering his name; he couldn't deny she was real. For one moment, he gave into his need to hold her.

"John, we've been so fearful that you would never wake up. It's so good to look into your green eyes again, like looking into Mom's; I missed that." Dave touched his right hand, which was resting lightly on Isabella's back, then gripped John's hand tightly. Dave's blue eyes, so like their father's, glistened with tears, "We'll deal with this confusion you're having, and we'll deal with it together. Isabella and I will be right here with you."

The woman lying against him, pulled away, her left hand caressing his face. Leaning down, she brushed his lips with hers, then sat upright again. Her forest green eyes were glistening with tears, "I thought I'd never have the chance to look into your eyes again. Oh, John, I love you; I'm so happy you're back with us." Tears began to stream across her cheeks.

"Bella? I…didn't expect you here."

"John, why would you think I wouldn't be here. I'm your wife; I love you. Where else would I be?"

"Wife? You're not…my wife. I mean, you're not my…uh…ex-wife." John felt panic building; he'd divorced Nancy. He wasn't married. He certainly wasn't married to Isabella.

Isabella turned to look at Dave; her filled with fright, "Dave, what…"

Dave spoke quietly, trying to reassure his confused brother, "No, John, you can't think Isabella would divorce you because you've been in a coma for so long. I can assure you; she's been here everyday with you. We had to beg her to leave but for even short periods of time. No, she loves you; she would never leave you, or divorce you." Dave squeezed John's shoulder tightly, hoping to calm him down.

"What's wrong, John? It's perfectly understandable that you would be confused after what you have been through. Yet, you seem more than confused; you're looking at me like you don't even know who I am, and that scares me, John." Isabella backed away from the bedside, leaning against Dave.

"Bella, I do know you, or sort of know you. The fact is, you should only exist, for the moment, in my dreams. Yet, this doesn't feel like a dream, and it doesn't feel real." The strain he was feeling creeping into his voice.

Her deep green eyes filled with tears, "I don't understand, why I should only be in your dreams? I'm your wife, I love you."

John was agitated, but he struggled to remain calm, trying to think clearly. "Honestly, I don't understand either. Something is very wrong, Bella. The one thing I do know that's real is how I feel about you. It's just that I don't remember meeting you, yet."

Dr. Beckett moved closer to the bed. "John what do you remember."

"Carson, you know who I am. I am Colonel John Sheppard, United States Air Force, and I am currently the military commander of the Atlantis Expedition, located in the Pegasus galaxy. I've been in command there for nearly six years. I am not married, not to Isabella or anyone. I was married to a woman named Nancy, but we divorced nearly ten years ago. I do recognize Isabella, but only because she's appeared before in my dreams. I am supposed to meet her, at some point in the future. Teer told me I would meet her, but it hasn't happened yet." John was beginning to feel panic overcome him. "Carson, what's going on here? Why are you looking at me like that? Why are you all looking at me like I'm crazy?"

Beckett, nodded to Melanie who left the room, then the doctor sat down on the stool next to Sheppard's bed. "John, you are very confused; a result of the serious head injury you suffered in a helicopter accident. You are a colonel in the Air Force, but you are not stationed in another galaxy. You are the commander of an elite multi-agency Special Operations division that reports to the Joint Chiefs of Staff. You live in Chevy Chase with your lovely wife, Isabella, to whom you have been married for four years. Your brother and his wife live in Bethesda; and he runs the energy and utility business started by your late father. You have been in a coma for five months, John. Most of your doctors did not believe you would wake up. It's understandable that you are confused." He patted John on the arm, but John jerked his arm away.

"No, no…this isn't real; damn it, Carson, you know this isn't real. We've known each other since Antarctica. You fired a drone at me, nearly knocking my helo out of the sky; you almost killed General O'Neill and me. You were there when I sat in the chair and found out that I had the Ancient gene. Carson, please; you have to tell them the truth." He was becoming quite agitated, and he desperately wanted out of the bed. Lying on his back with everyone staring at him was making John feel extremely vulnerable. He started to get up, but didn't get far before Beckett pushed him back against the bed. As he fought Beckett, Dave rushed to help the doctor.

Dave pleaded with his brother, "John. I know you're confused, but you have to trust us. We're telling you the truth, I swear. You've never met Dr. Beckett before. He became your primary physician when General Landry ordered everything that could be done for you, done. John, you've never seen him before today."

Beckett and Dave restrained John as best they could despite his continued struggles. Returning with two security guards, who quickly subdued the colonel, Melanie handed Beckett a syringe. Quickly, the doctor injected a sedative into John's IV port.

As he struggled against the sedative's effect, with little success, he gazed at Isabella. Although she was crying, her eyes never wandered from his face. As his vision faded, John longed for her to be real. However, he knew she wasn't, and that he wasn't wrong. What he had just experienced was not real.

~ooOOOoo~

His room was dark except for a dim beam of moonlight drifting across the bed. There was a soft glow of blue light near his bed from the IV pump and the large monitor; the only sound in the room was the soft beep from the heart monitor, echoing his heartbeat. Otherwise it was so quiet that he found himself unnerved by the stillness. Gazing around the room to verify he was alone, he saw that he wasn't. Isabella was standing in front of the window; her face, a pale reflection in the glass.

"Bella."

His voice was low, raspy, barely audible; yet, she reacted immediately. She spun around to look at him, starting to take a step toward him, then hesitating.

"John, I…uh…" She took a breath before she continued. "How do you feel?" Her melodic, rich voice held a note of melancholy.

"Groggy…confused…thirsty," as he realized how parched he was. He started to rise up, reaching for the water pitcher on the table next to his bed, when he felt a small hand rest lightly on his arm.

"Let me get you a glass of water," she smiled shyly, not looking at him. Even in the dim light, he could see her eyes were swollen, rimmed in red. Her hand was trembling, as she touched him. He watched as she held the pitcher with two hands to steady it.

"You should probably sit up to drink. Melanie said since you haven't been eating or drinking by mouth for awhile that it would be better for you to be sitting up." She slid her arms around him to help him sit upright. She then reached behind to arrange his pillows. Isabella lingered a moment before she pulled her arms away, and picked up the water glass.

She leaned against the bed, raising the glass to his mouth, her fingers still trembling. He covered her small hand completely with his, his long fingers intertwining with her slender ones. He drank slowly, then took the glass from her hand, sitting it on the bedside table.

The moonlight was dancing across her face; her hair sparkling, as if covered in moon dust. He gazed at her for a moment until his desire for her overcame his body's weakness. Lifting her off the floor, he pulled her into his arms. Isabella's hip slid across the edge of the tall bed, and she was lying across him, cradled in his arms. He held her tightly against his chest; her head nestled in the crook of his neck. Her warm breath caressed his skin as she softly whispered his name.

"Bella, look at me." His voice was raspy, low, full of desire for the beautiful woman lying in his arms. She raised her head, her lips mere inches from his.

"I don't know what is happening to me, but I want you to realize that I do love you. I know I shouldn't fall in love with someone in a dream, but I did." John drew her close, his lips reaching for hers. She whispered his name as her lips touched his, and they fell into a deep kiss. He attempted to capture her mouth completely, but she pulled away.

"John, I don't know what to do, or how to help you. You must be so confused, but I promise I'll never leave you. I'll be here whether you remember me or not. As long as you love me, it doesn't matter." Smiling for the first time since she realized he was awake, she leaned down to continue the kiss. After a bit, she pulled away reluctantly.

"John, in the morning, Dr. Beckett is bringing in a psychiatrist to examine you. His name is Dr. Ross Warren, and he is world renown for his work with post traumatic stress disorders. Dr. Beckett thinks that your accident may have triggered your brain to create a different environment for you to escape into while you were in the coma. Dr. Warren is apparently quite good at helping patient's discern between reality and fantasy. Dr. Beckett feels that he will be able to help you sort this out."

John looked away, a look of disdain crossing his face. Isabella caressed his cheek, turning his face toward hers. "I know how you feel about the whole psychology thing, just promise me that you'll try. Please cooperate with Dr. Warren; let him help you."

He searched her face in the dim light, then smiled at her. "I'll try, but I won't promise anything."

Returning his smile, she settled next to him, pressing her soft curves against his lean, hard body. "Go to sleep, John; you need to rest so that you will recover soon."

As they lay together, drifting off to sleep, John Sheppard thought about the upcoming visit with Dr. Warren. He had purposely not told Isabella that he knew Dr. Warren as well. He was the new psychologist on Atlantis.

The first two chapters are establishing the framework of the story, Chapter 3 will begin to unravel the mystery, Chapters 4 on…that's when the action/adventure, and real whump begins.

Let me know what you think of the start of Sheppard's saga.