"She wasn't jealous by any means, but seeing Clem step up since arriving did make her feel slightly inferior. Clem made her feel vulnerable and strong all at once. Just like that night under the stars right before the attack, Violet felt naked under her gaze in the dim light. Not even Minnie could have that effect on her..."
It had been a little over a week since the raiders attack on the once known Ericson Boarding School of Troubled Youth. The smoke and rubble had finally begun to settle over the courtyard, the remaining bed frames and picnic tables put together in a half hazard attempt in case of another attack. Patrol had doubled, more barbed wire was reinforced, and the overall atmosphere amongst the remaining members was tense to say the least.
Violet was sitting on the front steps of the administration building, taking in the week's aftermath. The blood from Marlon and Mitch was dried over and had made a permanent mark on the courtyard pavement. The flag was stripped down and the walker heads were tossed out back into the main grounds.
She turned her head slightly as a few people entered from the graveyard, led by none other than Clementine. Ruby and her were talking animatedly while Rosie had found herself on Clem's other side. She wondered if Rosie saw Clem as the new leader of the pack, having since mourned over her previous leader and owner on his grave for days. Violet would catch Clementine absentmindedly scratching behind her ear or petting her head when she was caught in a different conversation. There was one evening after Violet had finished her watch that she saw Clem sitting alone by one of the couches, Rosie's head resting on her lap. She couldn't tell who was comforting who. It tugged at Vi's heartstrings but nothing came of it.
While Violet did temporarily take over leadership after Marlon's demise, Clem took her place without question. She couldn't be more grateful or lucky that she and her peers were being guided and protected by one of the most, if not the most, talented and capable teenager's she has ever met. Not that she has met many other people her age, but she knew in her gut that Clem was not like other people.
She smiled slightly as she watched Clem help Ruby sort their medical supplies on one of the picnic tables. And of course, Clementine was a much better "people's person". Violet could barely hold a conversation for a minute before running out of things to say. Her commands were curt and to the point, while Clem assessed the whole situation and talked to each member on a personal level.
She wasn't jealous by any means, but seeing Clem step up since arriving did make her feel slightly inferior. Clem made her feel vulnerable and strong all at once. Just like that night under the stars right before the attack, Violet felt naked under her gaze in the dim light. Not even Minnie could have that effect on her. Even the brush of her lips—
Violet shook her head, realizing that she was still staring at Ruby and Clementine. She and Clem hadn't talked to each other in private since that night. There were obvious reasons, with missing members and their inevitable attack of their own, yet Violet still hoped—ugh, maybe ached?—shit, nothing could describe how she felt. Just, Clementine's absence was beginning to wear her down.
Maybe if could be an adult and go to Clem and ask her to speak to her in private, that would relieve at least 50 worrisome thoughts swirling in her mind. How hard could it be? She could be direct and to the point.
Before she even knew what she was doing, Violet stood up from the front steps and was making her way over to the two girls (and Rosie, of course). The two were deep in discussion and hasn't noticed Violet come up beside them. Rosie looked her way, taking in Violet's slightly hunched back, crossed arms, and frowned expression. All she had to do now was get her attention.
…
…
…
…fuck.
Nothing was coming to mind. She felt like she was standing there for an eternity as neither of the girls noticed her presence. At that point, Violet was tempted to walk away as quickly as possible and disappear into the dorm rooms. It's not like they'd be looking for her.
But of course, it was at that moment when Ruby turned her head slightly that she noticed the loner girl standing close by.
"Oh goodness, Vi!" Ruby exclaimed. "I didn't see you there."
Shit. Violet caught Ruby's gaze and flushed slightly. She could feel Clem staring at her, which only made her flush deeper and heart race faster.
"Y-Yeah. I was just, um, well, you know, wondered if you guys needed anything—like supplies or shit like that, because I could since I'm like, you know, free." Well, that was a fucking disaster. And now both girls weren't saying anything. She was looking anywhere else but them and decided looking at the walker past the gate and tree lines bumping into a rock was a better sight.
"I actually do need a favor, if ya don't mind," Ruby finally said, smiling.
"Sure, what's up." She made eye contact but this time, Clem was looking down and petting Rosie. Great.
"This medical situation has been all outta sorts since the attack. I can't find time to sort it out, so would ya mind covering my shift?" Ruby asked, albeit guiltily.
Oh
"Oh."
Violet shifted her body right and left with her feet, staring back at the walker through the walls. Sure, sure. Of course Violet could help out. She was reliable and dependable, just like Clem says was her stupid constellation. She was still not staring at Clem but so readily wished she could shake her by the shoulders and—
"Sure, yeah, righto," Violet answered, giving an awkward smile to Ruby. The three girls stood there for another moment, not saying a word.
"Okay then," Violet smiled and walked back to her spot, getting the hint that both girls didn't have much more to say to her.
Yeah, she was such a "people's person".
Ruby's shift was of course back to back with her own patrol, so she grabbed a can of beans and stayed in the watch tower. It didn't matter anymore. Dinners were a bust now that Omar was taken, leaving canned foods and jars of preserves to live off of. It didn't matter though. Meals already weren't a luxury for them, in fact, they were slightly spoiled compared to other communities and people.
This was probably how Clem and AJ ate most days, as Violet picked the last of the beans and set the can aside. Nothing was taking her mind off of her. It was pretty obvious from today that Clem had thousands of other things to do and romance—or whatever the hell happened that night—was no longer on her mind. Hell, she might've been bored or even antsy since they were waiting on the verge of raider attack and none had come.
The last few hours were pretty calm, the occasional walker passing by but nothing more. She leaned back her chair and rubbed her eyes dry. Man, if she had a hobby…
"You tired?"
Violet almost jumped out of her skin at the calm and familiar voice behind her. A voice she was just beginning to think wouldn't pass her way.
Her shoulders dropped and she sighed. "Same shit, different day."
The two were quiet for a moment before Clem moved to stand beside her. The night was as still and quiet as the other time on the roof. The torch propped up beside them flickered, ambers dancing off.
"Why do you hate baseball?"
Violet frowned. "What?
"You said during the card game that you hate baseball. Why?" Clem asked again. What was she—
"I was never good at it. I tried to at least, but my parents didn't make much of an effort to help me get better," Violet said. "My mother didn't want me to get dirty."
"I can only imagine what she would think of you now," Clem responded with a twinge of humor in her voice.
Violet wanted to playfully talk back but the subject suddenly felt heavy all at once. Clem noticed.
"Sorry. I shouldn't have said—"
"No, no. It's been years since I've seen them, or even thought about them…it doesn't bother me," Violet reassured.
A slight breeze passed through, causing Violet to wrapped her arms tightly across her chest. She felt Clementine move beside her and stood across from her, leaning with her back against the wooden railing.
"I…hate to ask you this—and you don't have to if it makes you uncomfortable—but…" Clementine sighed and frowned. Whatever she was going to ask was pretty serious. "How did you get to this school?"
Violet didn't answer immediately. This was certainly not the topic of discussion she was hoping to get from her after a week of tension.
"Because it was a boarding school for "troubled youth"," Clem continued, her voice getting smaller. Violet looked up finally and saw Clem looking down at her boots. Shit.
"It's no problem," Violet warmly said, trying to reassure the girl that her question wasn't out of line. Clem caught her eye. "It only makes sense that you'd wanna know…"
The two girls were still for a moment before Violet found her voice. "My family was pretty conservative. Like, church every Sunday and saying grace before dinner and shit, conservative. It wasn't, like, too bad growing up. But I knew my parents would sooner or later find out and be upset."
Violet stopped and felt pressure building behind her eyes. Fuck feelings. "It didn't matter that I was their daughter and what not. They still thought it was wrong and—" her voice caught in a slight choke and she stopped. She closed her eyes. She knew this story like the back of her hand but saying it aloud was something else entirely, especially to Clementine.
She sighed and finally found a way to smile. "Heh, I guess their plan backfired sending me here, though. If they knew about Minnie, they'd probably shit themselves."
Violet scoffed at the thought but Clementine was quiet. She adjusted herself in her seat as Clem gazes around the courtyard behind Vi. Of course she opened her big fucking mouth and now there nothing to say.
"That's bullshit." Clem finally said.
"What?"
"They sent you here because you're different," Clementine continued in disgust and tightened her arms across her chest. "That's such crap."
Violet smiled and scoffed again. "Seriously, Clem. It's really not that big of a deal."
Clem looked at her. "Your parents sent you away—"
"Yes! They did! And I'm still alive, aren't I?"
Clem dropped her arms and leant backwards, sighing. Violet frowned deeper and crossed her arms tightly, looking pointedly past Clementine and around the forest.
It was the truth, kind of. Whatever had happened with her family wasn't a problem anymore. Everyone now has dead friends and family. Why should her story be any different?
Whatever mood Violet wanted between them had vanished. Maybe this was a good thing. Maybe this is what Violet needed to see that Clem and her really weren't meant to be. She had Minnie, who was still out there somewhere.
The breeze fluttered again and Violet tried to keep a shiver down. Winter was coming.
"You cold?" Clem finally asked.
Violet scoffed. "It'll be winter soon and it'll suck. Probably."
Before Violet could even think of anything else, Clementine pushed away from the railing and drew close to her, standing right before her slightly hunched frame. She dropped a hand on her shoulder, slowly moving behind her, and moved her body close to hers.
Violet flushed. She could feel Clem's hot breath against the side of her neck and arms fastened tightly around her body. She felt like she couldn't breathe and floating all at once.
"You know," Violet started, her voice wavering slightly, "I could've just gotten a blanket."
"Don't pretend like you don't care," Clem said quietly. "I'm cold too."
Violet finally decided to drop her shoulders and leaned back into Clem, smiling. She moved her hand from her lap and placed it over Clementine's arm.
The two girls stayed like that for a few minutes, taking in the crowded woods and spotting a walker or two clumsily stumbling along. It almost felt normal, like that night on the rooftop.
"Listen," Clem said, pulling away slightly. "This week has been shit. We've both been so busy and... I'm sorry if I haven't made much of an effort to talk to you."
Violet pulled Clem's arms closer. "Stop. Stop doing that. It's the way the world is. If anything, I need to stop acting like a selfish brat," Violet admitted. "I just…want you to know that I have your back. In case everything goes to shit with this attack, I'll…be there."
Clementine hummed. "I don't know why you say you talk too much. You're sweet."
The moon dimmed as a cloud passed over, the forest growing darker and quiet. They still found peace.