Chapter One
The Light Itself
Without evil there can be no good. Without pain there can be no pleasure. And without struggle there can be no triumph.
Time and time again many turn a blind eye to these bits of wisdom. Complacency, routine instead take their place. The unknown, the unsettling, and the unique are regarded upon with fear and mistrust, with heartlessness.
Anakin Skywalker had never been complacent about anything in his life. Complacency was boring. It was easy. Humans were given short lives and he couldn't fathom why they would choose to fill their short lives with complacency.
He had always dreamed of reaching the stars and as he sat behind the glass of his starship he was among the stars. They surrounded him.
But even the stars seemed complacent, glimmering dimly millions of parsecs away. Of course Anakin knew that stars burned like lava, brilliant churning heat until they collapsed into themselves.
In that way, Anakin was like a star. Like the stars he shined with the gifts of the Jedi, but one only needed to become familiar with him to realize the error of their ways. Inside he burned with the light of a thousand suns.
He was light itself.
He became aware of his surroundings, easing out of his meditative trance. His eyes opened, bright and piercing blue marked with the horizontal lines of stars in hyperspace.
He spoke. "Obi-wan."
The older Jedi finished sipping his steaming beverage and draped himself on his seat. "Yes, Padawan."
"I think the wisest course of action would be to take a day's rest after we reach the capitol. I think we deserve it after that disaster on Ansion."
"What disaster, Anakin?" Obi-wan quipped, his wit still intact.
'The…"
'Oh yes, that disaster. The disaster where you crashed your speeder into the dignitary's living room. Yes and then the subsequent disaster where in the midst of our escape from his guards we fell into that nest of gundarks. Oh yes. I remember."
Anakin smiled wryly at Obi-wan. "If your senses were as attuned as you say, you would have seen that crater before we reached it, master."
"Arguing with me will not save you from your fate. We will attend the council meeting as soon as we land."
Anakin's eyes were full of mischief. 'Well, you're just going to have to tell them that I have fallen ill with some foreign disease and will be unable to attend."
Obi-wan's tone was no longer playful. "You're going to the meeting, Anakin."
Anakin turned his back and imitated Obi-wan's smug expression.
Obi-wan was of course aware of the mockery. "Your obvious exhaustion will save you this time. But do it again and you'll have an extended training session…with Master Windu."
"I don't know how you put up with that pompous…"
"You're focusing on the negative. Fortunately for you, we will have the entire day to ourselves after the meeting is adjourned."
"You mean, as in no training?" Anakin asked hopefully.
"Yes. I think we deserve some rest and relaxation."
Anakin was ecstatic, he seemed almost lit up with happiness. "Thank you, Master!" he said with boyish glee.
Obi-wan smiled.
The Council meeting took a torturous hour. Anakin informed the Council of their findings and then retired to their quarters.
'Master, I realize you have done me a great service by allowing me a day of respite from training…"
"Out with it." Obi-wan smirked.
"I was wondering if I could go out into city?"
Obi-wan stared up at the heavens as if asking the force for help. "I know I'm going to regret this. But…yes."
Anakin smiled so wide it looked like his face would break. He threw his arms around Obi-wan cheerily.
"Anakin…"
"I know, I know. No attachments." He was earnest suddenly. "But you're like my father, Obi-wan. I love you."
The sentiment was unexpected and Obi-wan found himself overcome with a certain sense of affection. He would never admit it openly. But he loved Anakin like a son.
He smiled instead. "Thank you."
Coruscant hummed with the dull roar of speeders engines. Anakin didn't even know if she'd be there.
As expected 500 Republica was guarded like a fort. He was about to use a Jedi mind trick on one of the guards when a handmaiden walked out of the apartment
'Is Senator Amidala busy at the moment?"
She looked at him with an air of disapproval, a certain sense of protectiveness over Padmé. "May I ask who wishes to see her?"
"My name is Anakin Skywalker. We were childhood friends."
Her eyes lit up with recognition. "Oh yes! The little boy who stopped the Trade Federation. Pardon my reaction, but you look so different."
He smiled. "A decade does that to a person."
She laughed. "I will inform Padmé that you're here."
"Thank you."
He followed her inside and sat down on the couch in Padmé's spacious living room. He looked at the Coruscant skyline. There was a rustling of skirts and he looked up.
Their eyes locked. She was wearing a simple dress, a deep maroon and her chocolate curls spilled over her shoulders. She smiled, her eyes alive with childlike thrill.
"Ani!"
It was like a dream. She was so beautiful. Even more beautiful than when he first met her and he couldn't breathe for a moment. He stood. "Hello, Padmé."
She craned her neck to look up at him. "My goodness, you've grown. I can't believe you were once little Ani."
He smiled bashfully and looked at her with a soft gaze. "I missed you."
She was a silent for a moment. "I missed you too."
He wanted to hold her, feel her soft brown curls brush his cheek, her body melt into his. It was a thought he pushed aside. As a boy, the embrace would have been sweet. But he was a man now and the connotations of such a gesture wouldn't be so innocent anymore.
She took his hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. "You should stay for tea and tell me about your life as a Jedi Knight."
His previous decision seemed to evade him at the moment, the feeling of her hand over his was euphoric and he threaded his fingers through hers.
Her eyes widened and she looked vaguely uncomfortable. She pulled her hand away and asked her handmaiden to prepare some tea.
Padmé settled on her couch, the smile returning to her face. "So…"
He smiled back. "So?"
"Tell me about your adventures with Obi-wan."
"There are too many to count. I'll tell you about the mission we just got back from."
She was very attentive and eager.
"We were on Ansion to settle a border dispute. We were invited to a dignitary's home. You know how I love for racing…"
"Oh heavens, Anakin. What did you do?"
"He had this speeder. Beautiful piece of machinery. It was bright red with silver trimmed lights."
Padmé started giggling. The sound made him warm and he wanted to stop talking just to hear her voice.
He continued. "So I thought…you know a little spin wouldn't hurt. So I flew it around the area. Of course his security guards saw and started pursuing me. I got out of their sight for a bit, but ended up crashing into his living room."
Padmé was laughing hysterically at that moment. "Oh no, Ani."
"It's not funny." He joked. "I have a warrant for my arrest."
She laughed harder.
"I'm not done."
She tried to stifle her laughter with her palm.
"So at this point I was a bit nervous about the situation."
Padmé smiled mischievously. "You mean scared."
"No. I mean nervous."
She raised a skeptical eyebrow.
"Obi-wan was in the living room. And he gave me the most horrified expression. He told me to get out of the driver's seat because apparently my flying skills aren't up to par. Three speeders started after us. The great pilot he is ,he ended up spinning out of control. I tried to fly it back to normal, but we ended up in a nest of Gundarks. And we would have been able to escape had Obi-wan not screamed like a little girl."
Padmé's eyes were lit up with mirth. "He did not do such a thing."
"Oh yes he did…like a girl. One of the Gundarks noticed. I don't know how we made it out alive, but we did. The authorities had been notified and we were basically fugitives at this point. We hid in a cave for an entire day."
'You're crazy, Ani. The things you do for fun."
He smiled. "So, tell me how your life in politics has been."
"Not quite as glamorous as a Jedi's."
"It's not glamorous at all." He was suddenly serious. 'I've never seen so much death."
"You mean fellow Jedi?"
"That and civilian casualties on war torn planets."
"I don't know if you've heard, but I'm trying to oppose the Military Creation Act in the senate."
He looked at her inquisitively.
"It would basically encourage us to look for war. A planet should strengthen its defense, but building a military to patrol other systems. It's going to push us into war. Like you, I've seen enough death. I don't want to see anymore."
"This conversation was not the one I intended to have when I decided to visit you."
"Sorry."
He smiled. "It's okay." He paused, unsure about what he wanted to say. "Are you doing anything tonight?"
She looked at him incredulously. "Are you asking me out on a date?"
He blushed furiously. "No, no. Not at all."
She laughed. 'I'm teasing you."
"Oh." He laughed
'I have some paperwork to do. But after that we can explore the deep dark trenches of the city."She stood and ruffled his cropped sandy blond hair. He looked up at her with a gentle gaze.
She was quiet, enthralled by his beauty. He had grown into a very handsome young man. Eyes burning with such intensity, long lashes. He had the lanky, slight build of a teenager, but the life of a Jedi had made him lithe, his muscles taut. His lips were so full and her heart fluttered as her eyes settled on them. Her fingers brushed his cheek and he shut his eyes, reveling in the touch.
When he opened his eyes she wasn't there anymore. Her touch still burned on his cheek.
After a tiring hour of work Padmé returned to the living room. Anakin was on the floor, facing her apartment window. He was meditating. "Ani."
Saturated blue eyes locked with hers. He was on his feet in an instant. "Yes?"
"I'm all done." She smirked. 'So where do you want to take me, you evil young man?"
He looked at her with a wicked little grin. "You'll see."
A half an hour later they stood at the entrance of a bar.
"A bar, Anakin. How incredibly original."
'Oh where would you propose we go, your highness? The public gardens. Or oooh I know. The history museum."
"Shut up!"
The guard at the entrance was very insistent that they not go inside. "Name." he said more than asked with not an ounce of personality.
Anakin smiled mischievously at Padmé before waving his hand before the guard's face. "You will not need my name. You will let us inside."
The guard seemed frozen in a stupor. "I will not need your name. I will let you inside."
Anakin smiled wickedly. "You are a dumb waste of human."
"I am a dumb waste of human."
Padmé slapped him on the arm. "Anakin!"
They walked in and Anakin laughed boyishly.
"So what are we going to do? Dancing is out of the question."
"Oh, that would be most improper, milady." Anakin said with mock prudence.
"I'm not drinking either."
He waved his hand in her face mockingly. 'You will drink."
"Stop it."
His smile was impish. She looked at him with a contended calm. There was a certain sense of love in her eyes. Not the kind he felt for her, but love nonetheless.
"Where do you wanna go, Padmé?"
She looked at him devilishly.
Some minutes later they soared through the Coruscant skyline, in and out of traffic. Padmé was screaming.
'Slow down. I'm gonna vomit!"
"You wanted this!"
"I regret my decision!'
He laughed.
"Please, Anakin."
He softened at her plea. "Okay."
He flew back to her apartment, landing on the hanger. She hopped out and he walked over to her.
"You know my com link address. We should keep in touch." She was silent for a moment. "It's good to have a true friend."
He looked at her, his expression was caring. "You don't have any true friends?"
"My handmaidens are bound to me by duty. And most want to befriend me for political gain. I don't have genuine friends."
He smiled softly. "You have a friend in me."
"Thank you for tonight, Ani."
"Anything for you."
She looked at him with uncertainty. Then she hugged him. He was surprised and he had trouble catching his breath for a moment. He shut his eyes and hugged her back, pressing his cheek into her curls. Her hair ticked the corner of his eyelid. She smelled like flowers and he was overcome with the feeling of her body pressed against his.
He touched her hair, taking a curl between his fingers. "I like your hair like this."
She looked up at him breathlessly. A blush rose into her fair cheeks as she became aware of the physical contact of their bodies.
He cupped her cheek, his thumb stroking her soft skin.
"Ani, stop."
"You touched my face this morning."
"It meant something different to you than it did to me." She was serious. "I think I should go inside now. Good-bye, Anakin."
He looked at her affectionately. "Good-bye." He said softly.