Disclaimer: I own nothing. I really am tired of typing the same long spiel over and over.
A/N: This is a response to a prompt requested of Regina catching Emma self harming. It turned out a little different than I thought it would, and I'm not sure how I feel about it. Rating for safety.
I really have no idea why I bother.
With one last, irritated glance at her watch, Regina Mills snatched up her purse and flung herself out of the chair at the quaint little bar on the edge of Storybrooke, throwing an unnecessary amount of money on the table for the three drinks she'd already had. She'd invited Emma Swan out for a drink earlier in the week, and had even been considerate enough to send her a text message earlier this morning to remind her. Rarely had Regina ever deemed it appropriate to be seen in public with the sheriff, unless it was some sort of official town business. Now that Regina had actually invited her out on a social call, the woman was a no show.
She probably realized exactly what she's getting herself into, and decided it wasn't worth it.
With a snarl, Regina slammed the door to the bar open and stepped out into the cool evening air, shoving the voice that sounded more like her mother's than her own out of her head completely. What was wrong with Emma? Out of everything Regina had labeled her, she'd never considered her to be the one that was going to skip out on a date. Even if this wasn't much of an official date, it would have been close. Damnit, it would have been progress.
Regina's Mercedes was heading towards the apartment Emma shared with Mary Margaret before the brunette even realized that her brain had decided to confront the blonde. Regina didn't appreciate getting stood up. It was yet another form of rejection, and Regina just couldn't take it anymore. Especially not from Emma Swan. She was going to find out what kept that damned woman from showing up, whether Emma liked it or not.
Regina parked her car, not giving a damn who saw it in this dingy little lot at the side of an apartment building she normally wouldn't be caught dead in, and slammed the door shut after locking it. She didn't even remember climbing the stairs. She just knew that once she got to Mary Margaret's door, it was cracked slightly. This brought Regina to pause, a quick frown passing over her features. Surely, neither of them was foolish enough to leave the door open…?
Stepping forward, Regina grasped the door handle and pushed the heavy wooden barrier the rest of the way opened, inviting herself inside. The place was a mess. Robbery, whispered Regina's inner voice, and she was happy to hear that it sounded more like her again. She forgot about it quickly, however, as she took in the damage; the place was wrecked.
"Miss Swan?"
No response. Regina stepped further into the apartment, her anger fading, to be replaced with uneasiness. Had something happened to Emma? Where was Mary Margaret? As Regina's eyes traced over the broken glass and furniture, the shredded papers, and the cutlery spread over the floor, she couldn't stop the immediate feeling of worry that flooded her. This wasn't normal.
A faint sound coming from the back of the apartment caught Regina's attention, and her head snapped up. Before she could consider the alternative, the brunette was hurrying towards the hall, glass crunching beneath her black heels. Where was it coming from? She paused in the hall, straining herself to listen, to catch the noise once more. And there at was – a muffled sound that sounded to be between a whimper and a sob. It was coming from the door directly to Regina's right, so she turned, pushing the door open and stepping into the room. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust, and once they did, it took another moment for Regina's brain to register what she was seeing.
Emma sat up against the headboard of a bed that looked as if it had been attacked by a rabid dog. The sheets were ripped off, and the mattress was ripped down the center, stuffing spilling carelessly out of it. Emma, dressed in a pair of black shorts and a matching camisole, was rocking back and forth, her head down, her body twitching in what Regina could only recognize as pain. Her own body had twitched like that in the past, under attack.
And then she saw the blood. Regina was shocked that it hadn't been the first thing she saw, because now that she'd noticed it, it was everywhere. On the mattress, the carpet, in Emma's hair…lathered over Emma's pale, beautiful skin. Regina's mouth opened, but she didn't get anything out before Emma let out another choked noise. Her hands went immediately to her thighs, and she rubbed her hands up and down violently, causing more blood to appear. She was scratching the skin right off of herself.
Car keys tumbling out of Regina's hand, the mayor shot forward, ignoring the fact that she'd just placed her knee in a puddle of blood as she climbed onto the bed and snatched Emma's hands away from her thighs. "What do you think you're doing!" she snapped, though it didn't come out as angry as she wanted it to. She could hear the tremor in her own voice. The fear.
Though Regina only had hold of Emma's wrists, the brunette could feel every inch of the sheriff seize up at the contact. If Regina trusted her with her hands, she'd have let go upon getting this reaction. She watched as Emma slowly lifted her head, eyes widening slightly at the look of pure terror on Emma's face. What the hell happened to this girl?
"Miss Swan?" Regina asked softly, softer than she had ever expected to be speaking to Emma. Emma's eyes filled with tears, and Regina wanted so badly to draw away, but she didn't. "What's wrong?"
"Skin…" Emma muttered absently, looking back down at her bleeding legs. "Too…unruined…"
"What on Earth are you talking about?" Regina asked, tightening her grip on Emma's wrists as the girl made to jerk her hands free. "Miss Swan, why are you hurting yourself?"
"I don't deserve such perfect skin," Emma muttered, looking back up at Regina. The glassy look in her eyes was unmistakable; she was drugged out. "Don't deserve…anything I have right now…"
Regina didn't say anything. She couldn't bring herself to be angry anymore at being stood up. Sure, the anger lingered in there somewhere, but confusion took precedence at the present time, and a strong need to understand what Emma was trying to say to her. When she finally spoke, her voice was guarded. "When you say 'anything you have right now'…"
"Any of it," Emma mumbled. "Henry. This stupid, stupid fucking job." She paused, her head lolling back against the headboard. "You."
"Me?" Regina asked in surprise, her grip on Emma's wrists loosening. "Who said you even had me to begin with?"
"Exactly," Emma replied, sliding down a little against the headboard, clearly making sure her head hit against it as hard as she could make it. Regina tightened her grip again and drug her into a sitting position, causing Emma to flail and gag for a moment.
"Stop it," Regina demanded. "You're not making any sense. What is all of this? What did you take?"
"Nothing," Emma replied, widening her eyes at Regina's disbelieving look. "Nothing!"
"Right," Regina snarled, releasing Emma's wrists and pushing herself off of the bed. "I don't have time for self pitying drug addicts, Miss Swan," she snapped bitterly, regretting it almost as soon as it had come out. "If you want to kill yourself, you'd better think of Henry."
"Wait!" Emma cried, and there was a thunk. Regina swiped her car keys off of the floor, turning to find Emma on her stomach next to the bed. She'd apparently tried to throw herself forward at Regina and hadn't gotten good enough leverage. "Please don't go."
"Why should I stay?" Regina asked, placing one hand on her hip. "If you wished to be in my company, you'd have joined me for drinks, like I asked you to. Twice."
Emma's expression went blank for a moment. Suddenly, a look of horror passed over her face. "Oh, God, Regina –"
"Save it," Regina snapped. "Of all things, I never took you for the type to seek attention through ridiculousness like this. You come here, insert yourself into Henry's life, into my life, and then expect to be able to act this way? Forget it, Miss Swan. You can return to Tallahassee, where you belong."
Regina turned to walk out of the room, but the harsh sob from behind her caused her to falter. Normally, someone else's tears wouldn't have affected her. But this wasn't just someone else.
"Why are you such a bitch?" Emma demanded through sobs. "People have problems, you know that? I'm fucking scared. I'm scared!"
Regina wanted to spin around and scream that she was scared, too. That it wasn't an excuse for the harm Emma was doing to herself. She wanted to slap the blonde, make her realize that life wasn't going to stop just because she was scared. But she couldn't. When she did turn, it was to kneel on the floor next to Emma, pulling the blonde into a sitting position and running her fingers through the trail of tears on the woman's pale cheek. Emma only stared at her.
"If I pay for you to go to therapy," Regina said hoarsely. "Will you go?"
Emma's eyes darkened. "No."
"Miss Swan."
"Therapy doesn't solve everything, Regina," Emma ground out.
"I'm well aware. But you need someone to talk to. Someone who can help you understand. Because you obviously do not feel comfortable enough to speak with me."
Emma bit her lip, looking away. "Do I have to?" she whispered. Regina sighed softly.
"I would prefer it."
She could tell by the look on Emma's face that the girl had no idea why she cared what Regina would have preferred. But, after a few moments, Emma nodded. Then she buried her face in Regina's chest and sobbed. Regina circled her arms around the small frame before her, pulling her tightly against her and stroking her blood soaked hair. After a moment, Emma spoke.
"I'm sorry I missed drinks."
Regina shook her head. "Don't." Pulling back, she lifted Emma's chin to look into her eyes. "Don't let it happen again." Emma smiled softly, and Regina leaned forward, pressing her lips softly to the blonde's. Their first real kiss, and it was in a situation like this…
Something told her that whatever was going on between the two of them was going to be the end of her.