"We are what we are, Max. If anyone is gonna to cut you some slack for something you can't
control it's gonna be me; it's gonna be one of your own. It happened, it's over, so relax." Alec
assured her, tilting her chin up to look into her dark brown eyes.
That didn't make Max feel any better though. She'd ached for someone to relieve the Heat urges.
Now she'd woken up in Alec's bed, smelling like him and sex. They understood one another but
that didn't mean they got along or that it was a good foundation for a relationship. The woman in
Max wanted to be wanted for the long haul. She needed someone by her side when the shit hit the
fan. Would Alec be there when it did? Would anyone?
"Ugg, sometimes I wish I'd never been born." Max complained, pulling away, tugging on her
long sleeve shirt.
"Yeah, but you were," Alec slipped to the end of the bed, the blanket twisted around his lean
body, "and you've done a lot more good than you've done bad, Maxie." He gave her one of his
winning smiles. Who could argue with one of Alec's peachy grins? The boy had charm.
Max groaned, scrunching up her face in disgust with herself and the shit Manticore's gene splicing
had gotten her into over the years.
"Doesn't make me feel any less a slut." she groused, digging her panties out of her jeans' leg. A
few minutes later and she'd found one of her boots near the front door and the other under Alec's
kitchen table. She gave up trying to find her bra, it wasn't that comfortable anyway.
Alec followed her into the living room, eating a piece of last night's pizza from the box on the
kitchen table on his way.
"You're not a slut, I've known a few of those and you ain't one of 'em. A slut is a chick who
doesn't care what she humps or how often. You care a little too much, Max." The lean bodied
transgenic spoke around a mouth full of meat and veggie pizza, poking a banana pepper back into
his mouth.
"Ugggg, I gotta jet." Max slipped into her biker jacket and headed for the door.
"See ya at work, Maxie." Alec called.
Original Cindy stood by the lockers, arms crossed over her jacket and a scowl on her features that
didn't match the colorful scarf around her head.
"If you're gonna stay out all night, boo, let a sister know so she don't worry."
"Good morning to you too, OC." Max answered with sarcasm as she stowed her things in the
locker.
"Hey, Original Cindy, hey, Max." Sketchy greeted, a copy of National Geographic as old as he
was in hand.
"What are you readin', Sketchy?" OC pulled the magazine away from the other Jam Pony
messenger and grunted in disgust.
"Give me that, I'm reading about tribes in Africa, or is it the Amazon, anyway, girls like smart
guys so I'm brushin' up." He made a grab for the magazine but failed when OC turned, elbows out
to ward him off.
"Yeah, you just lookin' at the tribal ladies' breast, you pig." She shook her head as she let Sketchy
pull the magazine away from her.
"What can I say, I'm in a dry spell." the horn dog messenger shrugged, a smug smile on his face.
Max smiled at her friends' antics, taking her mind off the situation she'd woken up to just an hour
before, a problem of her own making – and Manticore's.
"I wouldn't know about dry spells, never had em', you, Maxie? " Alec's voice jerked Max out of
her moment of peace.
"Why don't you take a long walk off a short pier, Alec." Max retorted, slamming her locker and
glaring at the smug transgenic.
"Wouldn't do much good, I'm an excellent swimmer." Alec shot back, leaning against the row of
lockers, his dirty blond hair messy from riding in Seattle's misty weather. Max remembered
running her fingers through his hair only hours ago, thinking how soft it felt.
"Ugg, disappear already, Alec." Max turned to walk toward the counter where Normal stood
scolding one of the other Jam Pony riders.
"Hello, Alec. Here you go, an easy run on Main Street." He handed the transgenic a cardboard
tube used for storing blueprints. It weighed all of six ounces. Normal looked over his glasses at
Cindy and Max, his expression turning from sweet to disgust in a blink.
"This one's over on Oak, don't forget to get a signature." He handed Max a large, plastic, shipping
bag the size of a pillow. From the lumps and hard edges it must have been a set of encyclopedia.
"Good night, this weighs a ton." Max took the bag in both hands, clutching it to her chest.
"Get going, bip, bip." Normal made a shooing motion with his clipboard and lead pencil.
"Normal, I hope you get everything you deserve." Max wished him with a sneer.
Max stuffed the package into her backpack and gathered her bike while OC bickered with Normal
about her schedule.
"Need a sidekick, Max?" Alec popped up beside her, his own bike in tow.
"No, especially not you." she walked faster, trying to deter him. Max needed to be alone, to wrap
her head around the fact that she'd slept with Alec. She loved Logan, right? They'd been through
some pretty hairy situations and stood beside one another. That should count for something even if
the virus kept them apart, right?
"Okay, enjoy wallowing, see you at Crash later." With a wave Alec peddled off toward
downtown Seattle.
"Wallow, what's he mean 'wallow'?" OC asked, coming up behind Max as she mounted her bike.
Damn, she felt sore from last night's activities.
"It's that time of the year again, I couldn't deal." Max spoke low, toying with her jacket's zipper.
"So what, you found someone to deal with?" OC kept up easily to Max's slow pace.
"Yeah, uh, Alec actually." Max heard Cindy's breaks squeak as she stopped dead in her track.
"Alec! Of all people you …"
Max turned to Cindy, sending a warning look at her to tone it down.
"Of all the dicks in this city, you slept with Alec?" Cindy whispered in disbelief.
"Logan's out of the question so it was either Alec or Sketchy." Max turned back to talk to her best
friend quietly.
"Boo, we gonna have to remedy you, you in desperate need of a vibrator and some batteries." OC
tisked as she began peddling once again.
"It doesn't work like that, it's a chemical thing. It won't go away until it's either over or I bed a
man." Manticore and their gene splicing, damn them. Max could run and hide but they tortured
her just the same.
"Damn, girl, that's rough. Glad I ain't lab made, that'd really get in the way of my man hatin'." OC
steered around a pothole, long legs peddling easily.
"Yeah, it has it's drawbacks." Max agreed. "I gotta jet, it's a long haul to Oak Street. See you later
at Crash?"
"Yeah, see ya, boo. Take care." With a finger wave, Original Cindy turned to the right as Max
turned left.
Max rang the doorbell of a modest brick house at the end of Oak Street. She waited a second
before ringing again, this time hearing a frail, female voice call, "I'm coming." If Max hadn't had
revved up hearing she would have missed it.
"C'mon, c'mon," Max muttered, moving the bill of her ball cap to the back. When the front door
opened Max put on her best smile.
"Jam Pony, you have a package." she paused to read the label, "Ms. Thacker." She looked up at
an elderly woman with a house dress and a home perm.
"Oh, my books have arrived." her rheumy eyes lit up. With a shaky hand the woman signed
Max's clipboard.
"Step in a minute, I'll get you a tip." the lady said with a smile.
Max rolled her eyes when the woman turned around. But hey, a tip is a tip.
Ms. Thacker's house stood floor to ceiling with books. A comfy armchair by the fireplace sported
an end table on one side and a stack of books on the other.
"Would you like a glass of lemonade, honey?" the old lady asked, shuffling toward the kitchen.
"Uh, thanks, but no, I got a bunch of other runs to make." Max shrugged, impatient to leave. Ms
Thacker rummaged in a floppy, black leather purse. Max spied a plate of sugar cookies on the
small kitchen table. The smell of sugar whet Max's appetite.
"Go ahead, honey, have one, it's just me here so they'll go to waste." the old lady chuckled as
Max stared lustfully at the dozen cookies fresh from the oven.
"Thank you, Ms. Thacker." Max smiled, palming two of the sugary delights. She closed her eyes
in sheer pleasure at the warm, soft cookie's taste.
"It's so good." Max complimented, surreptitiously licking crumbs from her fingertips. The other
cookie she stowed in her jacket pocket for later.
"Thank you, I use to make them for my husband, Caleb. In fact that's how we met, he bought a
half dozen cookies at a school bake sale. He just kept coming to my booth, buying cookies.
Finally I sold out and he asked me to dinner." The creases around the old lady's watery blue eyes
filled with tears she brushed away and then smiled broader.
"We had forty good years, Caleb and I." What she said next surprised Max. "Do you have a
special someone, honey, a pretty, little thing like you must have a few beaus." Ms. Thacker ran
appraising eyes over Max as she toyed with something in her dress pocket.
"I do, I guess. It's complicated." Max answered, her stomach squirming with embarrassment.
"Oh, honey, simplify it, if he makes you laugh, if he stands with you and tells you the truth about
yourself whether you like it or not, if he accepts you for who you are, that's love. Caleb was my
best friend, my rock. When he went to the first Gulf War I knew I couldn't live without him." Max
watch the woman's face take on a dreamy air as she spoke, obviously lost in better days.
When she came back to herself, Ms. Thatcher handed Max two dollars and put some cookies in a
brown paper bag for later. What she'd said left Max with a lot to think about.
"Logan use to make me laugh, he's stood with me and told me the truth about myself. But does he
accept me for who I am?" Max wondered to herself as she peddled back to Jam Pony in a steady,
drizzling rain.
"Alec knows and accepts who I am, he makes me laugh, sometimes. He definitely tells me the
truth about myself, and relishes it." Max blinked, stopping along the sidewalk. When had she
started comparing Alec and Logan?
Ha! Alec doesn't think of me that way, more like a free piece of ass after last night. Max thought
about how he'd looked lying on his couch in his boxers at two AM. He'd looked boyish and hot at
the same time, his dirty blond hair messy and his long eyelashes against his freckled cheeks. The
dim glow from a security light outside cast just enough light that Max had seen his tight abs and
muscular thighs. Imagining his strong arms around her wasn't difficult.
He'd woken up with a start when Max had kicked the couch frame. His "What the hell?" still
amused her. When he stood up Max had pounced, fisting the hair at the back of his head as she
kissed him fiercely. Pressing herself against him and demanding he satisfy her needs, using a
pained expression to hook him, weighed on Max as she thought about the night before. It hadn't
been fair to him, using him.
"I'm already living without Logan, sorta, but I doubt Alec would miss me." That thought
saddened her. Who would miss her if something happened; Joshua, Original Cindy, Sketchy?
Would Alec? Would she miss him if something happened?
Max cursed Manticore and her Heat again for the hundredth time that day as she straddled her
bike again. The old lady hadn't helped either, she'd just given Max more questions to ponder.
Thinking about relationship crap always gave the transgenic a headache at the base of her skull.
"Thanks a lot, Ms. Thacker." Max hissed, wishing she'd called in sick instead of going to work.
Max didn't see Alec at work for the rest of the day. But who should she pump into first at Crash
but good ole' 494, Alec himself. Beer mug in hand, he straddled the barstool beside Max at her
usual table. She wished Original Cindy hadn't ditched her for a massage therapist from Tacoma or
at least that Sketchy wasn't losing money at the pool table just then. Even Normal's 'bip, bip, bip'
in her ear would have been preferable to Alec.
"Hey, Maxie, how was your day?" he gave her a deceptively friendly smile before sipping the
head off his beer.
"Oh, you know, schlepping heavy packages all over a depressingly rainy Seattle. You?" she
answered sarcastically.
"Oh, you know, being Normal's golden boy, cruising around Main Street." Alec answered with a
smirk.
"Ugg, you are such a dog." Max wrinkled her nose at his smug attitude.
"Nah, cat DNA, remember. You know that better than anyone." He shot back, whispering.
"Yeah, alley cat." Max could spar as well verbally as she could hand-to-hand. But right then she
felt like decking Alec for inadvertently reminding her of the cat DNA that had driven her to his
door at two AM.
"Is it your personal mission to bug the hell outta me, Alec, 'cause if it is you're doing a great job."
Max turned to him, pissed.
"Hey, you don't want me here, I'm gone. My life'd be a lot less stressful without you on my ass
24-7." Alec's eyes turned from lazy to a stone green Max had seen in Ben's months before.
"And when you need someone to back you up look around, who's it gonna be, virus-boy or Jam
Pony Jim over there?" Nearly turning over the barstool, Alec left the table and walked out of the
bar. Max sat at the table by herself, still angry over the situation, Alec's reaction and her
overreaction. She knew she'd pushed him too far this time. Her pride, her stupid pride, demanded
that she not cry, that she not run after Alec and apologize.
"He'll be back, he always is." she told herself.
"Where'd my man Alec go?" Sketchy landed on the barstool Alec had just vacated.
"Don't know, don't care." Max said through tight lips before leaving Sketchy sitting all by his
lonesome.
Max went home and flopped down on her bed, looking at the ceiling overhead as if it had answers
for her. She knew every crack and speck on the tiles overhead from hours of staring; thinking.
They reappeared in her mind's eye when her physical eyes closed. As her eyes closed another
image appeared – Alec's angry face. She really had pushed him too far this time. Sure, he could be
a royal asshole but she didn't think he had been intentionally malicious with the cat DNA remarks.
"Hey, boo, you turnin' in early?" Cindy's soft voice drifted to Max's ears from the door frame
where she stood leaning.
"Nah, just thinkin'." Max shrugged before raising up on one elbow to look at her best friend.
"Need to talk 'bout it, boo?" OC offered, stepping inside Max's bedroom.
"I don't know, talkin' never seems to make things clearer for me." Max sat up, pulling her legs
under her to make room for Cindy to sit at the end of her bed.
"C'mon, Max, you know if anyone can solve all yo' problems it's Original Cindy." she said in that
all knowing tone she used. Max smiled, glad to have a friend like OC. "It's about yo' boy Alec
isn't it." she said.
Max groaned and flopped back on the bed. Her entire day had revolved around Alec it seemed.
"He ain't 'my boy'." Max protested, arm slung over her eyes dramatically.
"Yeah, uh huh, you two done did the nasty, he's yo boy." Cindy stated emphatically.
"If I had a 'boy' then last night wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't feel like a slut." Max rose
up, still pouting.
"Coulda been worse, Max," OC reminded her.
"How?" Max grumbled.
"Coulda done the nasty with Rafer or one just like him." Cindy pointed out.
"Not helping, OC." Max lightly tossed a pillow at her friend.
"I stopped by Crash before comin' home, Sketchy said you an' Alec talked for a minute then he
marched out, then you did, too." OC turned serious again, studying Max.
"We were bickering, like always, and he pissed me off and I might have overreacted and …" Max
shrugged, not looking at OC as she toyed with the ragged comforter she sat on.
"So he marched off in a huff, that it?" Cindy guessed correctly. All Max could do was nod.
"Max, listen to Original Cindy, that boy may be a pain in yo' ass, but that's because he wants to
be. Not just anyone makes the effort to stick around, especially when you rip him a new one
practically every other day." Cindy lifted Max's chin to make her look up. "Be the bigger person
an' apologize."
"I will, tomorrow." Max agreed, giving her best friend a hug.
"Good, now I gotta get some sleep, no shark DNA for me." Cindy teased as she rose from Max's
bed.
"G'night, Cindy, sweet dreams." Max wished her, watching her friend wave before heading to her
own room.
Original Cindy and Max rode into Jam Pony together the next morning, which, thankfully, had
rolled in dry. Sketchy and the others followed the girls into the grungy messenger service, most of
them bleary eyed and swigging strong coffee.
Normal didn't let the grass grown under their bike tires for long. It was all 'hot run' this and "bip,
bip' that. The usually crabby Normal seemed even crabbier than usual. After he came down
particularly hard on Sketchy for getting a sloppy signature Max had had enough.
"Normal, what's crawled up your butt this morning? Sketchy's not responsible for an ugly
signature." Max stood toe-to-toe with him, her arms crossed and hip jutted out, oozing attitude.
"My best worker, Alec, quit and now I'm left with the sorry lot of you reprobates and hooligans."
Normal leaned down into Max's face, his clipboard dangling from his left hand.
"Alec quit?" Max spoke low, surprised at the news. She turned to Cindy, who knew the score, for
reassurance.
"Yeah, called me at home, said he got a better job offer in Oregon or something." Normal
answered uncertainly.
"I have to find him." Max began pulling change from her pocket to call Alec's cellphone.
"You, missy, have a run to make to Oak Street, Ms. Thacker has another delivery of books."
"Not now, Normal, can't you see Max's got problems?" Cindy stepped between the dispatcher and
Max on the phone.
"We all have problems, most of mine are caused by my workers." Normal shot back.
"An' most of our problems are caused by our boss, so we even." Cindy said, raising one brow as
she cocked her head defensively.
Max heard the bickering but let it slide as she listened to Alec's cell ring and ring.
"C'mon, Alec, answer, dammit." Max hissed, a crease deepening between her dark brows. When
she'd heard his voice mail greeting for the second time Max hung up.
"OC, I gotta jet." Max didn't even bother speaking to Normal, just gathered her bike and headed
out.
"What the hell, she can't just leave like that, this is a place of business." Normal began.
"Normal, hush, Max is gone to get yo' golden boy back." Cindy said, rolling her eyes.
"Dammit, Alec, I didn't mean it." Max said to herself as she slung one leg over her Ninja and fired
up the motorcycle. A few moments later she turned onto the street outside Alec's apartment
building. She didn't see any lights but that didn't mean anything with the roving brown outs in the
city. Her heart raced, thinking about him leaving – leaving mad at her. Max couldn't face that.
She blurred up two flights of stairs and onto his doorstep. Nervously, she knocked, hoping he'd
answer but sick with worry he wouldn't. Max knew how hard it was to find someone post-Pulse.
Losing her brothers and sisters had taught her that. She couldn't lose Alec, too.
"I guess he is the one I can't live without after all." She thought back to Ms. Thacker's words from
the previous day. Was it love? Max didn't know, but she did know that if Alec left she'd never get
to find out.
KNOCK, KNOCK, KNOCK
The door opened, nearly sucking Max in with it. Alec stood opposite her, his jaw working in
anger.
"What now, Max, I'm packing." he said levelly, lips a thin line of impatience.
Max swallowed and straightened her stance. Alec had every right to be angry with her.
"You said that if anyone would cut me some lack it'd be you; one of my own." she looked deep
into his jade green eyes, her voice soft. She prayed that he understood what she was trying to say.
"I've cut you slack, Maxie, there's no more to give." Alec said, shaking his head before turning his
back on her.
Max's heart sank. She swallowed hard, fighting tears. Soldiers didn't cry. Manticore didn't have a
directive for this. Nothing in her training or all her years on the outside had prepared her for this.
This hurt.
An apology hung in Max's throat but her tears drowned it out. She'd pushed a lot of people away.
The ones that had hung on Max treasured the most, like OC, Joshua, Logan and now Alec.
"Dammit, Maxie, don't cry." Alec murmured, using a rough thumb to chase her tears away from
her cheeks. No one had touched her so tenderly in a long time. It broke her even farther.
"Alec, I'm sorry," Max managed after a minute. She felt his arms circle her, comforting her. When
was the last time someone had pulled her close to comfort her, Max wondered.
"Please, don't go." Max asked in a trembling voice as she laid her head on his shoulder.
"I didn't want to go, Maxie. I thought it'd be easier on you." he answered, resting his cheek against
her temple. Max felt safer than she ever had standing there in Alec's embrace, her arms around his
lean, muscular torso.
"I'd rather have you than easy." Max pulled back to look up at him, tears lessening.
"Me too, Maxie, me too." Alec smiled, a genuine smile that lit up his whole face. That smile made
Max's heart soar again.
"Besides, if you left Normal would be unbearable," Max's lips quirked at the corners, "and I'd
miss you, smartaleck." Alec chuckled.
"Everyone would miss me and you know it." he quipped, his tone teasing.
"Yeah, but me most of all." Max teased back.
The rest of the afternoon saw Max and Alec cuddled up on his couch, talking. She admitted that
she'd been feeling guilty for using Alec to satisfy her Heat urges and that was partially why she'd
been so cruel at Crash the night before. Alec admitted that he should have cut her a little more
slack but then if he hadn't she wouldn't have had a reason to mend things between them. Then
they wouldn't be talking like old friends, cuddled on his couch like a normal couple.
Max and Alec held out no grand illusions that things would ever be normal for them. Transgenics
with a city to run, a general public that wanted them gone and Familiars attacking them at every
turn didn't bode well. But they knew if anyone is going to cut you some slack for something you
couldn't control it'd be one of your own.
The End.