A/N: I warn all of you now. This is going to severely screw up the Naruto story line. In this fic, Gaara is six, Itachi is twenty-five, and Hinata is twenty.

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine! - The idea was shared between Tanllwyth, Marrick and me. Enjoy yourself.

Dysfunctional Family

Chapter 1: Adoption

Itachi Uchiha was a happy man. He had a wife and a home. Even his brother had come to terms with his past deeds. He was a very happy man. However, when Hinata Uchiha decided she wanted to adopt a strange child from the Village Hidden in the Sand his life took and unexpected turn.

---

"Itachi, breakfast is ready!" the now non-stuttering Hinata yelled from the kitchen.

"I'm coming!" he shouted back. The Uchiha got dressed and walked into his kitchen to find Hinata smiling over a boy with red hair and green eyes. He looked to be six years old and held a teddy bear in one hand while he picked at his eggs with the other.

"Hinata, what is that?" He questioned. That earned him a glare from the boy and the twenty year old woman.

"His name is Gaara, and we are adopting him. The villagers hate him. Please can he stay Itachi?" Hinata was doing that face again. He sighed in exasperation and looked at it. "No," he said plainly.

He sat down and began eating his food as the kid looked up to Hinata.

"Please don't make me go. Please, I want you to be my mommy!" He said pleadingly. Hinata rushed over and gave him a hug. After she had let go he devoured his teddy bear and smiled at her. Itachi was disgusted.

"Do you want another?" She asked happily. The boy smiled and nodded. She pulled a teddy bear from where only the Lord knows and gave it to Gaara.

Itachi watched this routine about five times and finally said, "Stop feeding it, Hinata." "He is not an it, Itachi," She screamed almost as loud as Lee.

"Pour me some coffee," he said.

"No."

"Why?"

"Not until you say he can be ours."

Now Itachi was annoyed. It was a Saturday, his wife wanted to house a demon under their room, she was feeding it teddy bears from nowhere, and he was thirsty. This was going to be a long day. And each time she gave that thing a bear it made him sick. He just wanted to throw it out of his house.

"If you keep doing that, it will bite your hand."

"Itachi!"

"Fine, we will keep it and raise him to do our bidding."

"Thank you Itachi!" Hinata said and rapped her arms around her husband's neck in a hug.

"I love you Mommy. I love you Daddy," Gaara said. Over Hinata's shoulder Itachi caught a glimpse of Gaara's evil smirk. 'Great. Now I have a demon kid trying to kill myself and my oblivious wife. I just love life,' he thought.

---

"So, what are we going to name it? Or are we just going to leave its name Gaara?" Itachi asked while the stood in the middle of the kitchen ten minutes later. Hinata was now washing dishes, while Gaara was eating more bears.

Gaara ran over and hugged Hinata's leg. "Momma, tell that bastard that I'm a child not an it dammit!"

"He's a child not an it dammit!" Hinata yelled, pointing her finger at Itachi and throwing suds everywhere. Itachi just stared, while Gaara giggled. Suddenly, sense came to him and he bent down and smacked Gaara's hand.

"Don't use that language, Potty-mouth," He said. Gaara looked up at Hinata who smiled and nodded. He frowned and she patted his head.

"It's ok, Sweetie. Daddy means well. Go on, Itachi, pat him," Hinata coed. He bent down, sighing, and patted Gaara's head, but as soon as Hinata focused on the dishes again, Gaara bit "Daddy". He bit his lip to prevent screaming obscenities and cringed. "See, Itachi?" Hinata asked, turning around. "Yeah, I see," He forced out. She raised her eyebrow at how Gaara was now hanging onto Itachi with his teeth. "That's not nice Gaara," she began to scold, but soon Itachi was swinging his arm madly trying to get it off of him. She silently panicked for her new child as he flew off of Itachi and landed on his head.

"Momma!" Gaara yelled. She rushed to him and held him while she screamed, "Itachi!" The Sharingan user froze in his tracks. Hinata was using that tone again. It really scared him. She set Gaara down on the floor and stood up facing her husband. She glared at him. Gaara silently laughed at Itachi's expression of fear.

"He started it!"

She still glared.

"He did! He bit me!"

She glared more.

They stood there like that until finally she spoke.

"Go to the corner."

"What?"

"Go to the corner, Itachi," she said coldly.

"But, but, I…"

"I said go!"

"But, Hinata," His eyes widened as realization dawned on him.

"MARCH!"

Finally the once proud Uchiha walked to the corner with his head down thinking one thought, 'I'm going to get that kid!'

To be continued!

---

Ok… there is the first chapter! Hope you liked it… Tell me what you think

-later