Ok, this is my first Harry Potter fanfic. I decided (mostly because I was so distraught by the demise of our dearest wizard Sirius) that I would pick up the summer right after. Oh and just in case you were wondering I am definetly not one of those people who think that Sirius is really gone. Oh he will have his own role to play. Anyway, it's a slow begginning but please read and review!

Recovering, Rebuilding, Reliving

1. A Torn Life

A month had passed since that horrible day, the day that changed Harry's life forever. The scene of Sirius' death seemed to toy with his mind, as if provoking him to break down. Every day seemed just another cruel joke to Harry. Life was meaningless now, and soon he figured he would end it. But each dull morning, he would wake up, conscious of what was going on around him, and yet not wanting to be. He was now submerged in his own thoughts, never to break away from them, not even for a second. Food was tasteless, even water didn't quench his thirst. An outsider would truly wonder why he was pulling himself farther into this hellhole.

On this particular morning, the weather finally seemed to fit Harry's mood. A boring drizzle fell from a gray haze of a sky preventing anyone from having any feelings of motivation. Pivot drive, usually bustling with the sounds of chirping birds, lawnmowers, whistling passersby, and hissing sprinklers, had now fallen silent amongst the rain.

Harry had been awake listening to the rainfall for a while now. Although most people would find listening to rain rather boring, it was about the most exciting thing Harry had the energy to do nowadays. And so, as if the world were conspiring against him, ('It bloody well is' he thought) his blissful solitude was disrupted by the rapping of knuckles on a door.

"Come get your food, stupid!" Dudley wailed from behind the door.

With strenuous effort, Harry managed to lift himself to the door and unlatch the lock. Mr. Dursley had previously gotten rid of Harry's doggie door, because he had a suspicion (as he did of everything nowadays) that it was being used to somehow communicate with 'those people'. "He's been to quite lately!" Harry could recall him saying about two weeks ago.

"Now take it scum. I've much beta' to do than be your servant!" Dudley spat, as Harry opened the door. Harry just looked at him wearily, as if words took to much effort. His face was now always expressionless, and in comparison to the living dead, he might as well have been a pile of dirt.

"Finally lost it has' yeh' Harry? Why last summer you would have said something like "What better things?" But now yeh've just gone silent. It's a good thing to. You don't threaten us with that stupid wand of yours now, or that excuse of a man you claim to be your godfather. What has he done now? Gone on a killing spree and landed himself in jail again?" sneered Dudley, who since Harry's depression rolled in, had a gained an astonishing amount of confidence.

Those words had crossed the line. Harry flared with emotion for the first time since the death. 'He'll pay for that.' Instinctively, he drew his wand from his pocket and pointed it directly at Dudley.

"And what would you know about Sirius? You're nothing more than a powerless, sheltered, little, little, MUGGLE! You know what?" he said, changing his mood to a bitter low and relaxed tone, "You aren't worth it." With that Harry put his wand back in his pocket and headed back to his room, all in good timing as well.

"What is taking you so long my little Diddy? Is he being troublesome dear?" Aunt Petunia questioned in that annoyingly sweet voice.

"Yes! He took out that stick and pointed it at me! I think he got me with it!" Dudley wailed, grasping his side and pretending to be in pain.

"Oh! My poor baby! Vernon! Come quick!"

A loud thumping could be heard, as Vernon struggled to get up the stairs.

"What now!? If that little weasels pulled one more trick, that'll be the end of him. Out I say, out! Why don't we just throw him on the streets?"

Aunt Petunia, who was too busy taking care of the wailing blob known as Dudley, didn't even notice Uncle Vernon's ranting. Perhaps it was because of how hard she had to concentrate to make out the words of the now on the floor, and moaning Dudley, or the fact that she had just grown accustom to his yelling, and had learned to tune it out.

"Ooooooh thhhhhhhhee paa ahhhh aaaai aaah iiiin"

"Where does it hurt dear? Tell mama!"

Harry who was now thoroughly disgusted, retreated back into his room for good and locked the door behind him. Normally, he would have been filled with anger now, and would immediately write to either Hermione or Ron, but now things were different. He just... didn't care anymore. 'So what if I get screamed at? This house can start on fire for all I care. That would actually be good. Maybe then I could get some peace and quite.' he thought dully. He had once again become lost in his thoughts, lying upon his bed.

'After all I've been through? Why can't people just leave me alone? That's all I request.. It's not like I'm demanding extra care or anything. I just want peace.' With that thought, he fell back into sleep, filled with nightmares of horrible days.

Occasionally he would also have dreams having to do with Hogwarts, but most were not at a certain location. Most of his dreams just had people in them. They all died. Many of the people he knew and was close to. Now he had distanced himself from them. Internally he was probably just afraid his dreams would become reality, but somehow, on the outside he had managed to convince himself that being isolated was good for him.

However, once again, the conspiring world made haste to disrupt him. A loud swoosh, then a crack, followed by a stream of bangs and curses erupted from outside his window. He was instantly jolted awake, although he did not make haste to move. In fact he didn't even bother to open his eyes.

"Potter!" Boasted a short soaked figure. The figure had just crept through his window. It appeared to be carrying a broomstick, and looked very shabby and disheveled. But as to why this person was here Harry had no idea. Out of all the people....

Alright! I hope you liked. Yes no? See that button. Yeah, thats right, the one down in the left hand corner. Please click on it... and use it. Thanks! -Mel