Disclaimer: I do not own Final Fantasy VII.

A/N: Me and my friend were reading a drunk Vincent comic and discussed whether or not Vincent would be a funny drunk, an emo drunk, or a drunk that just straight passes out. So! I decided to write this, a scenario in which we see what Vincent Valentine is truly like when he's hammered. Enjoy!

Drunk Vincent

Cid slammed the beers down on the table, the glass clanking together in an ear-splitting sound. "Alright, y'all ready for this?" he asked no one in particular, eyeing each of the men in front of him with an almost spcrutinizing stare.

Cloud shrugged and silently took a beer, bringing it toward him. Next to him, Barrett greedily scooped up three bottles, smiling widely. "Yeah, this is long overdue!" he roared, opening a beer with his teeth and guzzling it down, finishing it swiftly and reaching for another one.

"Slow down," Vincent muttered, crossing his arms.

"Ain't you goin' drink, Vincent?" Cid asked, picking up a beer and gesturing toward the gunman.

Vincent shook his head. "I'll pass."

"Come on!" Barret whined, slamming his brew on the table. "We go to all that trouble to kill Sephiroth and save the #*$&ing world, and you won't even celebrate it?"

Vincent narrowed his eyes, but Cloud spoke for him. "Don't give him a hard time, guys," he said, taking off the cap of his beer. "He doesn't want to drink; don't bully him."

Barrett laughed, a loud, obnoxious sound. "Bully him?" he echoed. "Ye're not foolin' anyone, Vincent. You act all tough and #^&, but ye're just a little man afraid of bullies!"

Vincent set his jaw, but still said nothing. He was actually almost considering taking a beer just to shut the man up.

Cid slapped Barrett on the side of his head. "Shut up! I think three beers is enough for you."

"Yeah, quit being a jerk," Cloud agreed, but swirled his drink around in the bottle, detached.

"What? I can't help it if Mr. Emotionless over here is too scared to man up!"

"Stop talking, Barrett," Vincent growled, walking over the table from his place against the wall. "You're just making yourself look stupid and drunk." He picked up a beer and flipped the cap off, taking a drink and trying not to cringe as the disgusting taste flooded his senses and burned his throat.

Barrett let out a wild laugh and slapped his hand on Vincent's back. "That a boy, Vince! Drink up!"

LATER

"#*$&ing god damn TV!" Cid yelled, kicking the black box. "Stupid cable's out! Can't even watch the game now!"

"The game?" Vincent laughed. "What game?" He tossed his beer bottle to the side, his ears numb to the loud sound it made on the wood floor. He stood up, stumbled, and hoisted himself back up to the table, trying to find his footing. "You mean like... like football? Cuz nobody's playing football! They all we-...went to Shinra... and turned into soldiers! Like... Like POOF! Football's gone! We're all soldiers now! Let's go... kill people..." He slumped down onto Barrett, passed out on a chair, and fell to the floor. He pushed himself up just in time for someone to knock on the door.

"#*$&!" Cid cursed, removing his hand from behind the TV and shaking it. "Cloud, get the door!"

Cloud said nothing, only stared silently at his drink like it was the eighth wonder of the world.

Vincent chuckled and staggered to his feet. "I'll get it!" he sang merrily, and made his hazy way to the front door. He opened it and leaned against the doorframe, trying to keep on his feet. "We don't wanna buy any cookies," he said, lolling his head back and laughing at his own joke.

Yuffie stood before him, completely sober and completely weirded out. "Uh, Vincent? Are you okay?" she asked, concerned.

"Yup, I'm great," he confirmed, giving her a bubbling smile. "Happy as can be, like a little bumblebee!" He snickered through his teeth, and his knees gave way under him.

Yuffie dove inside to catch him, looping his arm around her shoulder. "Jesus, Vincent, how much have you been drinking?" she asked as she helped him back inside and shut the door with her foot.

Vincent blinked and looked her dead in the eyes. "Enough for you to look seriously hott," he answered.

Yuffie flushed, her entire face turning beet red. She blinked once, twice, then shook her head. "You are so drunk," she muttered, mostly to herself, then wrapped his arm around her waist and began heading for the living room.

Vincent smiled to himself and stuck his foot in front of hers, tripping her. Without her weight to support him, he fell hard on his back, dragging Yuffie down with him. She landed on top of him, her legs straddling his waist and her head on his chest.

She snapped up so she was sitting, blushing madly. "You jerk!" she scolded him, hitting his chest. "You did that on purpose!"

Vincent snorted. "It was funny," he explained, like it was the logical answer.

Yuffie sighed, blowing her hair out of her face. "Come on, you big loser," she said, tugging at his hand, "get up."

"No," Vincent whined, grabbing her shoulders and bringing her back down. He kissed her full on the mouth and twisted so he lay on his side, Yuffie on her back. Even through his clouded mind, he didn't miss the way she kissed him back.

Suddenly, his stomach turned, and with a groan he rolled onto his back, curling in on himself.

Yuffie sat up, face still red, and looked at him with concerned eyes. "What's wrong?"

"I feel sick..." he moaned, feeling his stomach put on an acrobatics show in his body.

Cid laughed somewhere, but Vincent couldn't pinpoint from where. He closed his eyes, his mind slowly shutting down. "Just let him sleep it off. He'll be fine."

A/N: What did you think? I wrote this on a whim, at 3:30 am, so pardon me if it's not my best work. Hope you liked anyway! So he's a flirty, silly drunk in my imagination =) Review please!