Hey all! Stolen Valkyrie strikes again. This is the response fic to my "The Truth Behind the Smile." It's meant to make you smile. I hope it does.

Thank you to Hannie, Momo, and Amara. Thanks for always being there for me. And thanks also to Cupnjava, whose support I adore and love ;).

Disclaimer: I do not own Saiyuki, but I do own and highly recommend Salty Dog II.

8/27/04

A Day Without Rain

It was a cold, dreary, run-of-the-mill Friday morning. In August. Which isn't really all that important, except to the people in Brazil, who believe it is the month of sorrow... or something.

That was the first thought that Hakkai had when he woke up that morning. Not necessarily about the people of Brazil, but that it was overcast. Not raining, which would have meant severe depression, or sunny, which would have meant an incredibly cheerful day. No, this was indecisive.

And Hakkai hated being indecisive.

So, after a grumpy 15 minutes of pure waking up and a lukewarm shower (Gojyo really had no skill with fixing pipes, but no one told him that), Hakkai opened the door to the living room rather forcefully and went to go fix himself breakfast.

Now, Hakkai, being the impeccably neat guy that he was, looked and acted seemingly flawless. However, Hakkai had a little secret. Hakkai had an addiction. Whereas his companions needed cigarettes, alcohol, or meat, he was thought of as needing nothing.

What his companions didn't know was that, in Hakkai's mind, the best part of waking up WAS Folgers in his cup.

The truth was, Hakkai couldn't live without coffee... but he'd rather die before anyone else found out. Gojyo was easy – he was usually too hung-over to care what was in the cabinets. However, whenever Sanzo and Co came to visit, he'd be meticulous in hiding those stores. Why he wouldn't tell them, he didn't know – but he knew it'd be all over if they found out.

Anyway, he stepped lightly over Gojyo on his way to the kitchen (after restraining the urge to step ON him) and opened the cupboard with a little more gusto than usual. A headache was starting to form from the lack of caffeine... and he wasn't about to let that add to his list of terrible things about the day. He angrily stuck his hand in and pulled out that nice, heavy Folgers can...

Except it wasn't heavy.

Hakkai's coffee was gone.

Had the words 'choke a bitch' crossed his mind, or Sanzo's gun been in his hand, he might have had a repeat performance of the day he became demonic. However, as he had no such ammo both verbally and physically, he decided to do what he did best.

He smiled.

And as he made for the door, he made no move to avoid Gojyo.

And somewhere, someone's dream turned S&M.

Now, if there's one thing Hakkai hated, it was mainstream, generic coffee. It was understandable – Sanzo had his Marlboro fetish, Gojyo his Hi-lite. Even Goku wouldn't touch processed meat. So it irked him when he drove into town and there was nothing that screamed "good coffee". Unless it was him.

Without even a Starbucks in sight, he unwillingly resigned himself to go to the store and wait another half-hour to have his "precious". Easily parking, seeing as he was the only one to own a car, he hurried into the local conbi-ni and went directly to where the coffee aisle was. Or shall we say, should have been. Because, in fact, there was no coffee aisle in a conbi-ni, and Hakkai, in his un-inebriated state, had quite forgotten this.

Hakkai stood there, in the mostly empty conbi-ni, and just stared. He stared at the beef jerky, willing it to become coffee. And the more he thought about it, the more he realized that he needed it. Without it, he might just go insane. And as he felt those ear-cuffs in his cartilage start to hum from the energy, he realized that going insane might not be the best option. And then he realized he didn't care.

Luckily for the little town overshadowed by Chang'an Temple, a teenage girl entered the store. Incredibly thin and tan, with wavy light-brown hair and a penchant for trouble, she entered at a rather happy gait and started looking for pocky, ramen, tea, Pocari Sweat, and Tuna and Mayonnaise flavored Chip Star chips to keep her and friends well fed and happy while on their little trip. However, the moment she stepped into the beef jerky and potato fry aisle she saw him. Yes, he was rather just standing there staring intently at beef jerky. She wondered briefly if he had gone on some carb-only diet, or perhaps he was a vegetarian cleric, casting a spell on the beef to make it live once more. Then she thought of something else.

That monocle was pretty damn sexy.

She made her move, sneaking through aisles as gracefully as the world champion at the figure skating rhino tournament in Botswana, and contemplated. Was he the bold kind? Did he have a girlfriend? Was that sash hiding something? Did he have some sort of beef fetish? Although that third thought put her off a bit, she nevertheless pursued the prize with the vigor of Mike the Chicken. Good thing Goku didn't know about Mike the Chicken.

Finally, having run out of aisles to sneak down, she steeled herself to approach him. Considering he hadn't moved in the past 15 minutes, she figured that she had a pretty good chance. Sidling up to him as slowly as possible (no sudden movements around strange animals) she finally stood next to him. However, instead of staring at the apparently irresistible beef jerky (teriyaki flavored) she turned to him and asked him a simple enough question.

"Excuse me, but are you pondering what I'm pondering?"

Hakkai turned to look at the new arrival, decided that he probably should engage in mind games rather than human slaughter, and smiled. Well, there was nothing else he could do. Had his mother been around, she probably could have warned him that his face would stay that way if he did it too much. Too late now. "I don't know, are you pondering what I'm pondering or are you pondering that you're pondering that I'm pondering what you're pondering?"

Chii, as was the girl's name, cocked an eyebrow at him and asked another. "Has anger solved your other problems?"

"And your point is...?"

"Well, what would Freud do?"

"Who needs this crap?!"

"Traumatized yet?"

"Why me?!"

"Are you flirting with me, Detective?"

"Who is this person and why is she calling me Detective?"

"When no one trusts, does it matter that everyone lies?"

"...and I should care, why?" Seeing as the girl (Chii) could not come up with a counter-question (all of the above, with a few modifications, can be found at ), she simply smiled and introduced herself.

"My name's Chii... nice to meet you." Hakkai tried to force a stoic Sanzo-esque expression on his face, and seeing how it didn't work, decided to be polite. Again. One day he might just be rude to someone. Like cut them off or something. But he supposed it wouldn't be today.

He also wondered what Botox could do for face flexibility.

"My name is Cho Hakkai." Right. Simple enough. Can't go too wrong with just the name.

"Nice to meet you!" Chii grinned sporatically. No, really. It flickered on and off, she was that excited.

"Excuse me, you wouldn't happen to know where to find some coffee, would you? Folgers, preferably." Now, usually this man wouldn't ask directly. Usually this man would hide his little fetish, use (at least) three syllable words, and talk for about thirty minutes before even hinting at his wants (if it weren't any trouble). But this man usually had his daily dose of caffeine. And now this man was on the brink of insanity.

Now Chii, who does not want to make Hakkai go completely out of character, but insists on something like it for the sake of this fic, that has been written so somewhere one happy little fangirl can read it, decided to take her chances with this man. See, Chii didn't let on a few things. Chii was going to the West for a fantastically good reason. She and her friends (a half-goddess, half-dragon, and demon, in no particular order) had been sent by Auntie Kanzeon to go wake up some demon lady and give her notions. Very good notions. About ruling the world and making people go berserk or something. So they took her up. Hey, it was a good deal. She makes some mean cookies.

So she looked him up and down. Yup, he was one of them. Poor guy. He had no idea what was comin' to him in a little less than a year. Oh yeah. Bad times. She started to pity him, almost, until she figured that that was too sad to waste her time on. So she made him an offer he couldn't, for the sake of about a hundred thousand people, refuse.

"I actually happen to have a spare can in the trunk (of her beautiful yellow mustang convertible)... which can be all yours, if you promise to go to dinner with me tonight."

"I... ... um..." Now, just because I'm lazy, this is supposed to be humorous, and I've had enough angst for the day, we'll just skip over the few agonizing minutes of mourning Kanan and suchlike (which really is sad, but it's somewhat irrelevant to this fic). Steeling himself, convincing himself that it was all in the name of humanity, he nodded yes.

Chii was beside herself. Perhaps they'd stop in town... just one night. Maybe they'd get a charm from the temple or something. Wasn't that famous bald guy Auntie was in love with here? Well anyway, that wasn't her problem. Chii motioned for him to come outside, and as he did she rushed ahead, opened the trunk (she supposed her friends were already inside the adjacent inn, but really, she wasn't all that worried) and pulled out the can of Folgers. It was his favorite kind too... French Vanilla. Somewhere, in heaven, a happy hermaphrodite let out a good, long laugh.

As she handed the prize to him, she smiled. "Well then... should I meet you here? At 6?"

"Yes... and thank you." Hakkai managed to squeak out. Bowing quickly, he strode back to Hakuryuu, got in, and drove a bit faster than usual (although amazingly close to the speed limit) home.

Upon arrival, he rushed in, set the coffeemaker up, and tore off the top of the can. Holding it close to his face, he inhaled the rich aromas of the sweet, sweet coffee beans. Oh, it was so close now. Only a matter of minutes... or was it seconds?

The dripping of the coffee into his mug was like the song of the sirens to Hakkai's ears. Rushing to grab it just as it neared completion, he was stopped in mid-stride by a lilting voice coming from the doorway.

"What's this, Hakkai having coffee in the morning?"

...He thought he was safe around Gojyo.

"I... I thought I'd try it, to see if I liked it. It is supposed to be very healthy in moderation." Hakkai smiled his best innocent smile and scratched the back of his head. Busted ran through his head any number of times.

"Is that so...?" Gojyo peeked in, assessed the situation, shrugged, and went to go collect his "SI – Swimsuit Edition" from the mailbox.

Hakkai never bothered to hide his addiction again.