The View Monologues
By CravingPassion
Chapter 1: Harry Potter: "…It's My Life…"
"I don't expect people to understand me. I hardly really understand myself. I just wish I had some of the things that they don't value as much as they should. Like family.
But I'm not about to rant about my family at the moment. They are dead and that's just how it is. Sometimes, I just don't quite understand that.
I once actually had thought, right when I woke up, that my parents were going to come back to life 'next time.' I was wrong. I don't know if there is a 'next time' but I wouldn't really like to know if there isn't. I figure, if I die thinking there's more, I'll die happy, and if there isn't more, I wouldn't know it, so it doesn't exactly hurt anyone.
But as I said, I'm not here to talk about the misery I had in my life. I want to talk about how happy I am now.
And I like that I can really just sit in the common room and just be happy at what I have. I like that I can think about my grades, or friends, or house- that's right, a brand-spanking-new flat in Liverpool. I still haven't moved in, since there are still five more months to the year. But still! I have a house of my own. - And be happy.
There's just a sense of freedom that comes with a house that can't be replaced. I just can't wait until I can just leave everything, and be eighteen, and be out of school, and just go out or drink or whatever. I don't care. I just want it to be my decision and my choice because really, it's my life, so what is stopping me?
And…I suppose there is another topic that's sort of….been on my mind lately.
No, not a girl.
Well, actually, that's exactly what it is.
It is a girl.
A very beautiful girl. Named Ginny. Yes, she is my best friend's sister and all that but I'm not thick; I can see he, for some sick reason, wants me to be with Ginny. I don't always understand Ron, but I wouldn't argue with him over this, though I'm sure Hermione would say something along the lines of 'Ronald, you are so immature. Why can't you accept you sister's decisions concerning blokes?' Even though Hermione never says blokes. She says 'erroneous' and 'genteel' or, you know, any other potentially sophisticated word that Ron can't understand for his life. But not 'blokes'. It's probably too easy for her or something.
So, back to Ginny. I really like her, whether she's related to Ron or not.
And why shouldn't I like her? She's funny, and beautiful, and kind, and smart and she has…I don't really know what to call it. She has her own…something.
Something that just makes her her. A quality that sets her apart.
She's unbelievable and I know this sounds cheesy, but she makes me feel good. The only thing that's killing me is that I can't ask her out. 'Course, that's only because I'm an idiot and I can't talk to her. The odd thing is that I don't normally get weird with girls anymore. Not as much, anyway.
I have a lot more experience than I did that time in Fifth when Cho kissed me. I guess courage just doesn't come whenever I need it. Sometimes I just need to do what I want, because honestly, it's my life, so what's stopping me?
Except for fear of rejection, of course."