He purrs as you scratch behind his pointed ears, holding back laughter as he leans against you, completely consumed by warm contentedness. You move away so you can sit on his lap, wishing not to deal with his weight. Your matesprit is not the smallest troll.
Matesprit. The word rings through your mind. You two don't exactly follow the rules of a matespritship, since you are moirails in a way as well. You don't only provide pity(or 'love, as John called it; he said that it seemed like the both of you really loved each other, to him) as a matesprit would, but comfort in pale ways as well. In a way, you are blurring the lines a bit, and you aren't afraid to since you are on a meteor hurtling at millions of miles per hour, far away from your prejudiced disgrace of a home planet.
His purring breaks you from your thoughts, very loud. It takes a lot to get Gamzee to purr, but when he does you know you have achieved something great. You smile down at him, still on his lap. he opens his eyes and blinks slowly. You don't let your smile fade like usual. It stays on your face and he grins back, wrapping his arms around your waist. You drape your elbows over his shoulders, feeling your muscles relax as he pulls you down for a kiss. You enjoy it fully, the wonderful floating feeling in your head as the pressure against your lips fades and all you can feel is stupid, hypnotizing, warm pity- no, love, for this highblood. He never hurts you. He never tries to make you angry. He never thinks it's ridiculous when you're mad at him and tries to listen to and comfort you in the best ways he can. He gives so much for you, and never asks in return. You feel terrible for being such an ornery crab to him after what he does for you. Yet knowing Gamzee, he would have said something about that by now if he was hurt by it. So you assume he is fine with you, but you still want to have a 'feelings jam' with him about it later, and damn you for getting lost in your mind and not his lips against your because now he is pulling away and you need to stop it. You haven't had enough just yet. Pesky clown and his far too short kisses.
"No, Gam, come ba…" you catch yourself in mid-sentence because of how needy you sound. Your gray cheeks flood with red and you furrow your brows, trying to seem like you never said anything but you know he caught it.
"What'd you say, Karbr-"
The smirk on his face disappears when you dig your nails into his curly, jet-black hair and shove your mouth against his, pulling back when he leans forward, obviously wanting more. He stares up at you in confusion and you glare in reply.
"That never fucking happened, you nookfucking braindead shitcrisp," you bark angrily, leaning your head on his shoulder, letting your arm fall to the side. He chuckles and laces your fingers together.
"Alright, I got the message, motherfucker," he says, laying on his back, taking you with him. You sigh and slide your arms under his back. You shift until you are comfortable and he places his arms on your back, rubbing up and down slowly. Your eyelids fall heavy all too soon, and you aren't exactly in the mood for a nap but you aren't exactly opposed to the idea either, and Gamzee is so calmingly cool and you are so happy, and this is when you notice that it has already been fifteen minutes and you are purring. He does this to you so often, and every time it gets you in the same way. John was right. This wasn't just simple pity, this must be love, and you are fine with calling it that.
"Love you, Gamzee…" you say groggily as you drift away to sleep, too gleeful and tired to try and dance around the subject of saying anything else.
"I love ya too, Karkat." He is about to fall asleep as well. You can hear it in his voice.
You kiss his cheek where his hair meets the skin of his face and he hums in approval. At this point nothing can make you happier. You have the one you love all to yourself, no distractions, no one to bother you. You love the times when you are as you are now, quiet, sleeping, and yet sharing emotions that nobody or nothing can make you experience.