Hi again!

This was so much fun to write! I hope you guys enjoy it. I know it's a little early for a Valentine's Day fic, but I saw a prompt online and I couldn't resist.

This is AU in that Nick and Jess never broke up in S3 and are presumably still together into the next season, which is about when this takes place. Again, not canon, and there is no Kai or Ryan.

Okay! I don't own New Girl or any affiliated characters and the title for this fic is based on Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day, which I also do not own.

Enjoy! :)

Caroline and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day

January 4, 2015

Caroline was having a really bad day. Like, really bad. Her power went out overnight, which meant that her phone died and took her wake up alarm with it. She woke up five minutes before she was due in at work. After desperately scrambling through her apartment (and consequently stubbing her bare toes three freaking times) she stumbled outside with a bagel hanging from her teeth and her coat half-on to find her car window had been busted out by some infernal street rats. They'd been having problems in the neighborhood lately with a small-time gang playing a game that involved busting out car windows. After cursing them to infinity and dusting as much broken glass from the driver's seat as possible, she threw her briefcase in and tried to start her car, just to be greeted by an infuriating click, click, click. Caroline gripped her steering wheel and bit as hard as she could into the bagel, but her exceptionally white teeth sliced right through the bread and clicked together painfully. She gave herself over to her rage for a moment and screamed loudly and shrilly enough that the birds nesting in the tree beside the parking lot took off in an explosion of feathers.

Determined to not let the day get to her again, Caroline scrambled out of her car and raced out to the street outside her apartment building. Usually there were at least three taxi drivers parked along the sides of the streets, just milling around in the mornings. She lived in a relatively young neighborhood, full of 'progressive thinkers' who forwent cars in favor of being environmentally friendly. Usually those taxi drivers had a good chance of making a few bucks off one of those poor kids running too late to ride their bikes. She grimaced upon realizing that today, she was one of those poor kids.

The only taxi in sight was half a block down, so Caroline began to run. Her heels clicked against the sidewalk and she only almost tripped over a crack once before she made it to the taxi. She slammed her hands against the window on the back door, and through the window she could see the driver jump a foot in the air at the sound. She didn't have enough time to feel bad about it.

"I need to get to fourteen-thirty-five Maple Street as quickly as humanly possible!" She panted as she collapsed against the back seat.

"Alright, take it easy, lady," the driver said in a thick Chicago accent. Caroline had to resist the urge to gag at his accent.

Her boss only yelled at her for ten minutes when she finally got to work half an hour late (thanks so much, LA traffic… she thought savagely) and luckily her workflow was pretty light that day. She felt semi-normal by noon.

"Any big plans for tonight?" Her coworker, Macy, asked over lunch. Caroline furrowed her brow in confusion. "Y'know…Valentine's Day?"

The fork in Caroline's hand slipped from her fingers and landed in her salad. "Oh my God," she gasped. "It's Valentines?" Macy nodded, looking concerned. "Oh my God, I completely forgot…I haven't even talked to Brody yet today…"

Macy laid a consoling hand on Caroline's arm. "It's okay, I'm sure he hasn't noticed."

He had. "Y'know, it's not like you to forget this kind of stuff," he said when she called him minutes later. "You're usually the one reminding me."

"Not that you ever need it," she teased, fingering the corner of a document on her desk. "You're just as good as I am at remembering important dates."

He hummed deep and low and Caroline smiled. "Well, I had dinner reservations at The Valley for seven-thirty. Can you make it?"

"Of course," she said, nibbling on her lower lip. "Um, but, I do have a slight problem…my car window got busted out last night and there's something wrong with the engine, so I can't drive my car."

"Well I'm coming from the opposite side of town, by the time I get over there to you, we'll have missed our reservations…"

"No, no, it's fine. I can take a taxi. That's how I got to work today," she tried to laugh it off, but the sound caught in her throat and died. "I'll just meet you at The Valley later."

"Okay. I'll see you then. Happy Valentine's Day, babe."

"You too."

Due to her tardiness that morning, her boss had her stay far later than usual to finish up paperwork. It was nearly seven by the time she finally got out. Cursing the fact that she was stuck wearing her work clothes to her Valentine's Day dinner, she stood at the curb, glancing left and right repeatedly, desperately searching for an open taxi. After five minutes and one random catcall from a perverted passerby later, she spotted one. She flagged it down and jogged across the street when it pulled over.

"I need to get over to The Valley," she said as she climbed in.

"The Valley, please," a female voice said from the door across from Caroline's. Caroline glanced up and froze upon realizing the eyes gazing back at her were familiar and blue and currently wide with panic. "Caroline!" She sang her name.

"Jess," Caroline said, with far more disdain.

"I'm so sorry, you were here first, I'll just…"

For some unknown reason, Caroline felt compelled to trap Jess in the car with her. "No, no, don't," she said, reaching across Jess and closing the partially open door. Jess was leaning as far away from Caroline as she possibly could; practically all of her bodyweight was thrown against the door. "We're headed for the same place, aren't we? The Valley?"

"Yup, I guess we are," Jess said, her voice smaller than usual. Caroline felt a rush of pleasure at Jess' obvious discomfort. She took a moment to size her up. Jess was dressed nicely, very nicely. She'd obviously spent the day getting ready for dinner. Her thin frame was clothed in a blood red dress that looked like it hung to her knees, though it was riding a bit higher since she was sitting, and beneath that she was wearing white stockings dotted with black hearts. A small pendant hung from her neck, the little glittering stone resting just beneath Jess' collarbone; she reached up to toy with it absently and Caroline noted that her nails were neatly manicured and painted the same shade of red as the dress she was wearing. Her coat was black and leather and loose on her torso. Jess' hair was hanging in soft curls around her shoulders and her makeup was clear and simple. All in all, Caroline was begrudgingly forced to admit to herself that Jess looked very pretty. But only to herself.

"You look like you've had a good day," Caroline said as the taxi pulled away from the curb. Jess smiled nervously.

"Uh, yeah, it's been good," she shrugged.

"You and Nick are meeting at The Valley for dinner, then?" Caroline asked.

Jess visibly swallowed. "Hm? Nick? Nick, who? Ha, just kidding, I know who you're talking about, it's Nick Miller. My boy…er…room…friend-mate?" She blinked a few times. "My, my boyfriend roommate."

"Right." Caroline said, and the venom in her voice surprised even her. "Your boyfriend." It definitely wasn't lost on Caroline that Jess' left ring finger was bare. It had been nearly a year since that awful night she'd found out about them. Nearly a year since hearing Nick say the words 'I love you' to someone else with far more conviction than she'd ever heard him say to her. But even with all that conviction, he still hadn't been able to make the commitment. Good, she thought.

"Are, uh, are you meeting your boyfriend at The Valley?" Jess asked, clearly desperate to get the attention off of her.

Caroline considered lying just for the sake of making Jess as uncomfortable as possible, but she decided against it at the last second. "I am, actually," she said, turning away from Jess to survey the traffic outside the windows.

"Well, that's nice," Jess said, and she actually sounded sincere. "What's his name?"

Caroline narrowed her gaze and appraised Jess for a moment, but she could not detect any malice in the girl's face. "Brody," she said carefully.

"Brody." Jess repeated and his name sounded all wrong. "Bro-dy," she sang it that time, coughed, and deflated. "Sorry." She muttered.

Caroline snorted and gazed back out the window. "So, you and Nick are still together?"

"Yeah. Yep. It's been a year…a year and a half?" She was chewing the inside of her cheek and gazing up at the ceiling of the taxi thoughtfully. "Yeah, a year and a half." She nodded definitively.

"Wow. That's pretty impressive. Considering he's afraid of commitment, and everything," Caroline said.

Jess shifted uncomfortably. Oh, did I touch a nerve? "Uh, I don't know that I'd say he's afraid of commitment…" her voice trailed. Caroline smirked. "It's more like…he…likes to leave things unsaid."

Caroline raised her eyebrows. "Does he still tell you he loves you?" Jess nodded. "Does he ever say it first anymore?"

"I don't think we should be talking about this…" Jess said.

Caroline sighed. She was actually starting to feel kind of bad for the girl. "Look, Jess," she said, trying not to care when she laid a hand on Jess' arm and Jess flinched, "I don't know anything about your relationship with Nick, besides the fact that it's apparently been in the stars for a long time, now. All I know is what I experienced when I was with him. I was…I was really upset last year when I saw you two together. I tried to tell you back then, but I'm afraid I was too angry to really communicate clearly with you. I'm not angry anymore."

"You're not?" Jess asked, and her voice was so small Caroline had the sudden urge to hug her.

"No," she said, shaking her head. "I'm not. But I think you deserve to know what I was trying to tell you that night. Nick…he's all about the chase and the honeymoon phase. He likes the conflict-free parts. He likes pursuing you, he likes romancing you, and he likes the first part when you're both compromising on the important stuff to make good impressions. But the second things start getting hard…the second things get real…he checks out. He's gone. He doesn't want anything to do with it. I don't know why. I think…I think maybe he just didn't care enough about me to work through our issues. I really do think we could have worked through them if he'd been willing to try." Caroline bit her lip, watching the emotions flicker through Jess' eyes at the speed of light. "Actually, on second thought…maybe we couldn't have. Maybe we were meant to break up all along. Because if he had worked with me, he wouldn't have been around for you."

Jess smiled, a small, crooked half-smile, and Caroline felt something like affection worm through her heart. "Nick's a different person now than he was back then," Jess said carefully. "He's…more…grown up, I guess. I know he feels bad about the way things ended between you two. Hey, maybe when we get there, you guys could -"

"No way," Caroline shook her head and rolled her eyes at Jess' heartbroken expression. "Jess, believe me, the last person he wants to talk to today is his ex. Especially when he has the choice between his ex and his current girlfriend. He may be a different person now, but I know that much about him for sure."

Jess chuckled. "Yeah, you're probably right," she said.

"In fact, when we get there, would you mind not telling him that I'm there? I don't want to ruin anything for him. Unless you've already texted him?"

"No, I haven't texted him. Are you sure you don't want me to tell him?"

"Positive. Hopefully he won't see us walk in and we'll be seated on opposite sides of the restaurant."

For some blessed, unknown reason, Caroline's luck favored her when they arrived. Brody was already seated by the time the taxi dropped Caroline and Jess off. Caroline waved goodbye to Jess and tucked in across the table from Brody, smiling at his tanned face and gingerly sniffing the roses he'd brought for her.

Several minutes of small talk and sipping champagne later, the maître d' lead a blushing Jess and a chuckling Nick to a table a good distance away from where Caroline was sitting. She watched discreetly as Nick held Jess' chair out for her and quickly claimed the seat across from her. Their table was set up at such an angle that Jess was facing Caroline at a slight angle. Nick's back was turned to Caroline, so hopefully they would get through the entire meal without him seeing her.

Caroline remained focused on Brody and their conversation for most of the meal, though occasionally she would make eye contact with Jess. It was brief, but Jess always smiled at her like they were sharing a secret. She really is infectious, Caroline thought as she toyed with the rim of her champagne glass.

Dessert came and went without incident, and soon the waiter was taking Brody's credit card back to pay the bill. She noted nervously that Nick and Jess seemed to be finishing up as well. She was determined to stay as far away from their date as possible, so she lagged a little when the waiter brought Brody's card back. She pretended to rummage through her purse for something when Nick and Jess made their retreat, her hair falling like a curtain over her face.

"Sorry," she apologized as she took Brody's arm.

"No need to apologize," he said warmly as they made their way to the front door. "Hey, Caroline, hold on, you've got a little…" he swiped the pad of his thumb beneath her lower lip and drew it back to show her the smeared dots of chocolate on his skin. With a sultry grin, he slipped his thumb between his lips and hummed.

"Let's go back to your place," she murmured as they pushed through the front doors –

…and nearly ran directly into a kneeling Nick. Brody and Caroline froze, staring at the couple before them, who was staring right back. Nick was on one knee, Jess' hand in one of his and an open ring box in the other. Jess' eyes were filled with both tears and shock. "Caroline!" Jess cried hoarsely. "Oh my God! You're here! With your boyfriend!"

"I…I am," Caroline stammered. Nick tilted his head up to the sky, closed his eyes, and began mouthing what she could only assume were explitives. He looked ready to die. "Um, I'm sorry, we were just…we were, uh…"

Brody was looking back and forth between the three of them, obviously incredibly confused, so Caroline tugged his arm toward the valet stand. The couple skirted awkwardly around Nick and Jess. "Happy Valentine's Day!" She called over her shoulder, wincing at how strained her voice was.

"Good luck, bro!" Brody called, grunting when Caroline elbowed him in the side. "What? Who were they?"

"Sh! I need to hear what she says…"

"Do you know them? Should we -"

"Brody, just, just shut up for a second!"

Brody glanced over his shoulder. "Uh, babe?"

Caroline turned back and felt the all the air in her body leave her. Nick and Jess were embracing, Jess' feet completely off the ground, and Nick was spinning her around. The faintest glint of silver and sparkle on Jess' left hand caught the streetlights. For one endless moment, Caroline closed her eyes, reliving all her old daydreams of experiencing that exact moment with that exact man. But when she opened them, Jess was standing again, bent backwards slightly as Nick kissed her passionately. With a small half-smile, Caroline tugged on Brody's arm and together they started moving forward again.

Ack. Valentine's Day. Proposals. Ness.

I just had to.

:)

- Maddy