This is purely a fanfiction and I own nothing, sadly.

Dedicated to AutumnCherry.

Naruto climbed out of the shower Monday morning. Expecting it to be just like any other Monday, he was taken by surprise when Kyuubi spoke up.

"I don't know why you bother checking for armpit hair. It's never going to show up because you're too much of an idiot for it." Naruto blinked at the insult, having to take a good five minutes to get it. Kyuubi was patient though, because the longer Naruto took, the better his point would be proven.

"Hey! Stupid fox! You don't know what you're talking about!" Naruto shouted, not realizing that since the fox had access to his mind, he didn't have to speak out loud.

'This is easier than I expected! At this rate, I can drive the brat insane!' Kyuubi thought. His evil plan, was 7 percent complete! His 'evil' plan included mentally torturing Naruto to insanity. Then, when Naruto had finally broke, he could get the human to release the seal!

Naruto thought that it was an isolated incident, so he went about his normal day. At least, it was normal until he tried to greet Sakura.

"Hey, Sakura-chan!" he yelled waving furiously. She just gave him a dirty look and went back to stalking Sasuke.

"Sasuke-kun! Want to go on a da-"

"Stupid bitch wouldn't know manners if it bit her in the ass."

"Shut the hell up, stupid!" Naruto yelled at the fox. Unfortunately for him, he still hadn't figured out that he could do it in his head.

Sakura slowly turned her head to face Naruto, a scary look on her face. Sasuke perked up, wanting to see Naruto get the shit beat out of him.

"What did you just say to me, baka?" she asked in a very dangerous voice. Naruto panicked; he hadn't been talking to her, but he couldn't explain without mentioning Kyuubi and he didn't want to do that.

"Uh, Sakura-chan, hang on! I wasn't talking to you!" he tried to save himself. However, there was no dodging the next question.

"Oh, yeah? Then who were you talking to?" she asked, not believing him for one second. Now the question was to answer, or not to answer. Ah, decisions, decisions!

Naruto took one look at her face and almost blurted the truth, right up to the point where Kyuubi perked up his ears. Then he decided that whatever bones Sakura broke would heal, but he couldn't take back whatever words he said. He sighed in despair.

"Never mind, Sakura-chan. Could you just not smash my skull in?" he asked hopefully; he didn't really think that would heal. At all. Too bad Sakura was an abusive bitch.

"That's a great idea! It's not like anyone would miss you!" Naruto shuddered as the fox roared with laughter.

"This is the best thing that has happened since that Mizuki guy! Finally, you do something worth watching!" Kyuubi cheered.

"Shut the hell up, bastard fox! No one asked for your input!" Naruto screamed, tearing his hair out. Sasuke looked at him for a second.

"Looks like the dobe has finally cracked," he said depressively, like the emo he is.

Right on time, Kakashi appeared. Did I say 'on time'? I meant two hours late.

By this time, Sakura had beat Naruto and Sasuke had sat by and laughed. Or he would have if he could, instead he just smirked at Naruto's pain. Sakura had thought he was leering at her and had started to flirt with him. Actually, try would be a better word.

"It's about damn time that stupid human showed up. He was probably hanging around with Jiraya, peeping."

"Kakashi, how could you?!" Naruto cried. The boy was so stupid that he didn't realize that Kyuubi didn't know anymore than he did. Just a few hundred thousand years of experience not-withstanding.

"Uh, do what Naruto?" Kakashi asked, startled.

"Peep on those poor women! Why, Sensei?! Why?!" Naruto cried in despair. Kyuubi started cracking up and Kakashi looked shocked.

"Me? Peep?" Kakashi was very confused by now. "Why would I do that when I have Icha Icha Paradise?"

"Are you really going to believe that? That's what they all say," Kyuubi goaded Naruto. Really, it was just too easy!

"No!!! LIAR!" Naruto cried in distress. The rest of Team 7 stared at him.

"I'm getting Tsunade," Kakashi said before poofing away. Sakura looked mad that Naruto was being an idiot and Sasuke was, well, being emo.

"Shut up, Naruto! Look what you did! You made Kakashi-sensei leave!" Sakura shouted at him.

"Sakura!" Tsunade exclaimed, having just arrived. "Clearly Naruto is having a mental breakdown! Yelling at him will just make it worse! Didn't you learn anything from me?"

Sakura looked sheepish, but glared at Naruto when Tsunade turned toward him.

"Ok, Naruto, what's wrong?" Tsunade asked, trying to figure out the source of the problem.

"He won't shut up! He keeps talking! Why won't he shut up?!" Naruto despaired. Kyuubi snickered, thinking it wouldn't take long to finally crack Naruto Uzamaki's sanity. Tsunade and Kakashi glanced at each other.

"Who won't shut up, Naruto?" Tsunade asked cautiously.

"Kyuubi," he whispered so Sakura and Sasuke couldn't hear. Tsunade began to panic, thinking that the seal might be breaking.

"Kakashi, get some ANBU squads. Sakura, Sasuke, go home. Your training is cancelled," Tsunade said hurriedly. Kakashi poofed away again to get the ANBU, Sakura groaned in disappointment and left, and Sasuke sighed in irritation and went somewhere to continue being emo.

The ANBU arrived right then and grabbed Naruto before poofing him into a chakra-repressing cell, designed to keep him from accessing Kyuubi. Unfortunately, that didn't stop Kyuubi from talking to Naruto.

"…You really got screwed over this time! Now what am I going to do?! Sit here?!" Kyuubi cried, not wanting to have nothing to do except sit and be bored again.

"Shut the hell UP! No-one wants to hear you! And yes, you are supposed to just sit there! Now be QUIET!" Naruto screamed. Kyuubi snickered at his host's pain.

"Never mind just sitting here! Torturing you is the most fun I've had in years!" Naruto almost started crying then, but Tsunade and more ANBU showed up.

Linebreakiamalinebreakfearme!

Naruto was in the same cell when he woke up the next morning. Tsunade had called Jiraya to see if there was something wrong with the seal, but he said it was fine. Until they figured out why Kyuubi could talk to Naruto, he would have to stay in the cell to keep everyone else safe from him if he got possessed.

He was so close to breaking, but then he had a nice thought! Maybe it was only for a day! Maybe Kyuubi didn't have enough strength to keep it up! Maybe-

"Morning, Sunshine! Ready for Day 2 of the rest of your life?"

That's when Naruto started crying.