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AU... Detective Blake Jamison discovers that she doesn't know Robert Goren any better than anyone else. My attempt at a post – Purgatory fic. Jamison/Goren fic (Perfect Day Off, Busted, In The Dark) although it starts out with a little of Eames POV…

Everyone Winds Up On Their Own

Alex Eames stormed off the elevator and onto the eleventh floor home of Major Case at One Police Plaza. As people saw her coming they got out of her way and avoided eye contact, hoping to avoid that death ray stare of hers.

Whispers had been going around the building for the last two hours that Robert Goren, Eames suspended partner, was arrested during the takedown of a drug dealer and was now sitting in lockup with another suspended cop, a narcotics detective named Mike Stoat who'd been arrested in the same bust..

"Where's Jamison?" She hollered at no on in particular.

"She and Ritchie have been out all morning, they're out on the art theft at the mayor's office." Jeffries offered as he hurried off to answer his ringing telephone. I've never been so happy to hear my phone ring… I hope this gets me out of the office quick..

In disgust, Eames stalked over to her desk and pulled her chair. She pulled so forcefully it would have rolled all the way across the room had she not been there to stop it.I had my gun in his face! He had his gun in my face! Adrenaline, rage, shock and fear coursed through her. What if it hadn't been me who came through that door?

She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Jamison's cell. She had to have known about Bobby, right? He wouldn't have kept her in the dark too, would he? "Blake, it's Alex. Call me ASAP. It's about Bobby." Leaving the voicemail hadn't been enough, she texted the same message to her. That ought to make it clear to her that it's important.

Get it together, Alex. She was aware the rumors were flying by now. There was no way word wasn't circulating that Robert Goren was in a holding cell downstairs. She scanned the room and saw not one pair of eyes cast in her direction. Every officer and detective on the floor was studiously reviewing paperwork or taking notes. She looked down at her hands lying on the desktop and was disgusted to see them still quivering, her overwrought nerve impulses still firing. Stop it, she commanded. Still they shook.

Her cell phone beeped, opening it she saw that Blake was returning her call. "Where are you?" Eames demanded before Blake could say a word.

"What's happened to Bobby?" Jamison's voice sounded just this side of panicked.

"Where are you?" Alex asked again.

"We're on our way back in. What's happened? Alex, just tell me. PLEASE."

"Bobby's in lock up. I need to see you before you come upstairs." She spat out fiercely.

"Lock up?! We're about ten minutes away. Do… do you want to meet in the garage?" Alex sensed Jamison's initial fear had now been replaced by suspicion.

"At the elevator." Eames slapped he phone shut and stood up. Maybe taking the stairs down thirteen floors to the parking garage would calm not only her anger but also her nerves.

Blake Jamison turned her phone back on as soon as she and Ritchie had finished interviewing the deputy mayor and getting a list of recently terminated or departed mayoral staff from his assistant.. Her phone beeped letting her know she had a new text message. It was from Alex. Reading the terse four-word message caused her heart to jackhammer in her chest, "URGENT… it's about Bobby."

Seeing she also had a voice message, she listened to that as well – also from Alex – "call me ASAP, it's about Bobby."

"Ohmigod, what the hell's happened?" She muttered to herself as she dialed Eames number.

Ritchie's head jerked around at her reaction, "What's wrong? What's happened?"

"I… I don't know. Eames left me two messages, saying the same thing, quote, it's about Bobby, unquote.

"You don't think anything's happened to him, that he might have…" he didn't finish the thought. He tried to stay out of his partner's relationship with Goren – it was an unusual pairing, but seemed to make both happy, at least until Goren's suspension six months ago. Since then, it seems as if it just limped along, but he didn't pry.

He knew she'd been especially worried the last week or so. She had confided in him yesterday that she hadn't seen or heard from Goren in almost a week, and that she'd spent the last two nights waiting in his apartment for him to return. He hadn't. He'd left one final message a week ago, telling her he had a lot of thinking to do. Dozens of messages since had gone unanswered and unreturned.

Blake heard Alex spit out, "Where are you?"

She didn't answer but asked, "What's happened to Bobby?" Her voice sounded panicked to her ears.

"Where are you?" Alex repeated.

"We're on our way back in. What's happened? Alex, just tell me. PLEASE."

"Bobby's in lock up. I need to see you before you come upstairs."

"Lock up?! We're about ten minutes out. Do… do you want to meet me in the garage?"

"At the elevator."

Ritchie noticed how pale she'd become and reached out to grab her arm. "Are you okay?"

"Um, uh huh…" She nodded. "just drive."

She mentally reviewed the events of the last six months. They were far from easy months. When Bobby was first suspended, she feared he wasn't going to make it. His anger, his frustration and his pain were palpable. There was nothing she could do to relieve any of it. It irritated him that she was still on the job, doing the job he should still be doing. She was working with the same people, the same organization that he held responsible for his anger and frustration. She knew he really tried not to let it come between them, but it was there, and they both knew it. The pain came from the disintegration of his family. His mother's death still weighed heavily on him. Frank's apathy at knowing what was happening to Bobby at Tates after Donnie had escaped. He'd gone to Eames to get Bobby to help with Donnie, and Bobby hated his brother for not going to Eames again to get him out of Tates.

Now months later, he seemed to be doing much better, although he seemed no closer to reinstatement. He continued his sessions with Dr. Olivet, at first, only because he'd seen the sessions as his only way to end his suspension. Recently he'd confessed to her that he'd begun to see how he might have handled things differently.

She'd thought that had been a turning point. Then this past week he seemed to go completely off the gird. He didn't call. He didn't return her calls. He didn't even go home. She'd spent the last three nights sitting in his darkened apartment waiting for him to return. He hadn't.

Ritchie pulled into the lower level garage at 1PP and her heartbeat accelerated again. As much she needed to know what happened, she wasn't sure she wanted to know what happened.

Alex stood waiting. She didn't look happy.

As Jamison stepped out of the car, Alex came forward to stand in front of her. "Tell me you didn't know Bobby was working for Testarossa?"

"Bobby's not working. For anyone. Testarossa? Who the hell is Testarossa? Alex, I don't know what you're talking about."

Eames took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Daniels and I had a guy go in to make a buy from Testarossa, he's becoming a player on the east side. Once inside his mic was discovered and we rush in. I come face to face with Bobby. Weapons drawn in each others' faces."

"What?!"

Blake started pacing. "I… I haven't seen or heard from Bobby in over a week. He hasn't returned my calls. He hasn't been back to his apartment. I don't know what's going on. But I'm going to find out."

She punched the button for the elevator. "Are you coming?" She asked tersely.

"Where?"

"Lock up, of course." Jamison replied as repeatedly stabbed the elevator call button.

"No, I didn't kill him before, but I might now."

Once I'm done with him there might not be anything left for you Eames…

"Please Hendricks, five minutes, that's all I'm asking. I gotta see him. You know it's personal, there's nothing that's gonna come back on you."

"Blake, it'll be my job if anyone finds you in there. I can't.. Paul Hendricks had feared this as soon as he saw Goren being led into a cell.

"I… I gotta see that he's okay. I gotta know for myself. Two minutes, in and out, that's all."

Hendricks grimaced and shook his head, but stood and walked over to unlock the gate. "If I get busted down, I'm taking you with me."

"It's cool. No one is ever going to know." Once past Hendricks, the anxious girlfriend face and tone disappeared, her whole demeanor replaced by the steely resolve of a cop out to get a confession.

She paused to take a deep breath as before she rounded the corner. There was so much running through her head to say.

She turned the corner and saw his sitting on a bed, leaning forward, and head in his hands staring down at the ground.

"Goren. What the hell is going on here?"

He looked up at her with unreadable eyes. His hand wiped at his mouth and lips several times before standing and walking over to the bars.

Is this why you've been off the radar for the last week?"

"Jamison, look I can explain. Just not now." Bobby glanced back over his shoulder at Stoat, who was watching with a wry smirk on his face.

"No, it's now… Just answer me. Have you been working for Testarossa? A known drug dealer. How the hell is this going to help you get your shield back.? You're the best cop I've ever known. It's not even that it is what you do, it's who you are… and you turn your back on that? You spit on that as if it were nothing? On your entire life?"

"Hey, cut the guy a little slack…" Stoat piped up from the other bed in the cell.

Blake turned to shoot the guy a look and pointed at him and emphasized each word with a finger shake, "You… YOU… DO… NOT… SPEAK."

Stoat threw his hands up as he shook his head. He lay back on the bed and said, "I tried Bobby. You're on your own."

She looked back at Bobby and shook her head. "You've got nothing to say to me? I… I …" she looked up and down the empty hallway. "I don't know you. I don't want to know you."

"Blake, wait.." Bobby said softly. "I really can explain."

"Wait… wait for what, Bobby? For you to be brought up on charges? For you to be indicted? For you to get in deeper with Testarossa? I'm a cop. I plan to remain a cop. I know you're angry and frustrated, but I can't figure out your angle here. You can't be right with this, or you would have returned my calls or gone home at night. Yeah, I spent the last couple of nights sitting in your apartment waiting for you to show up. You never did."

"You say you've been in purgatory for the last six months. Well, where the hell have I been? Right there beside you, and right here, straddling both world. You think you had it bad, you try straddling both worlds. You try doing your job, overhearing the whispers, the questions, the conversations stopping when you enter a room."

Looking down, she said, "This is it, this is where it ends" She looked up at him, "I'm done. You're on your own."

She turned and walked away. Bobby didn't call her back. He didn't watch her walk away. He rested his head against the bars and exhaled deeply. He knew she meant it. He didn't think his explanation… when he could give one… would be enough. I am on my own.

Bobby swung away shaking his head. This is why he told Ross he couldn't do this. The cost, the fallout was going to be too much. But he'd agreed. He agreed because Blake was right, it wasn't… it isn't… what he does, it's who he is. That is his world and this is the only way he could see to get back to it.

"Hey, Bobby. She'll calm down."

"Not now, Stoat." Bobby lay down on the bed, knees up and stared up at the ceiling. This was better than Tates, but not by much. Here it was the constant swirl of his coherent thoughts. At Tates, fevered imaginings had spun through his mind, and the fear that he would break cover before he could get out.

He could hear footsteps approaching. "All right Stoat. Come with me."

Goren looked up and saw Captain Ross and Eames standing outside the cell too. After Stoat walked down the hall out of sight, Ross nodded and the door was unlocked again. "Is it all right now…?" Bobby asked as he walked out of the cell.

The look on Eames face told him, it probably wasn't.