I'm Not Dead
A/N: I own nothing at all.
Summary: Rose is dealing with her pain of losing Dimitri by drinking and smoking alone. While listening to music.
Rose is sitting in her room a few weeks after she received her battle molnija mark and learned that Dimitri was turned into a Strigoi.
She locked her door and had some music playing. Will one song on repeat.
Rose was sitting on the floor with a pack of cigarettes and a bottle of wiskey both she stole from Adrian. She been drinking for a few hours now and she still can't Dimitri out of her head. It not that she wants to forget him, god knew she never could, she just wanted to close her eyes for a few minutes so she could figure out what to do.
Every time she closes her eye how ever all she can see is him. Hear his voice whispering Roza, feel his arms around her.
She can't get the converse out of her head, and what he wanted ' If you were turned into a Strigoi wouldn't you want someone to kill you? I would.'
The longer she sits there the more of the words from the song she starts to take in.
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
There's all these cracks
Crack of sunlight
Crack in the mirror on your lips
It's the moment of a sunset Friday
When our conversations twist
It's the fifth day of ice on a new tattoo
The tattoo I got for losing you.
But the ice should be on our heads
We only spun the wheel to catch ourselves
So we weren't left for death
But you were we left you for death or the undead.
And I was never looking for approval from anyone but you.
That for sure
And though this journey is over I'll go back if you ask me to
I would give any thing to go back to us. To be with you again.
I'm not dead just floating
Right between the ink of your tattoo
In the belly of the beast we turned into
The beast you turned into.
I'm not scared just changing
Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile
You're my crack of sunlight
That smile that still makes me shake on the inside.
You can do the math a thousand ways but you can't erase the facts
That others come and others go but you always come back
Like after Mason. Damn it Damitri you should be here.
I'm a winter flower underground always thirsty for summer rain
And just like the change of seasons
Forever your Roza.
I know you'll be back again
I pray that you'll be back again.
I'm not dead just floating
Underneath the ink of my tattoo
I feel dead without you
I've tried to hide my scars from you
That never worked no one knows me like you do.
I'm not scared just changing
Right beyond the cigarette and the devilish smile
Why am I smoking? I hate smoking. You would kill me and probably make me run forever if you knew.
You're my crack of sunlight oh
I'm not dead just yet
I'm not dead I'm just floating
Not yet.
Doesn't matter where I'm going
I'll find you
I'll keep my promise. I'll find you I promise
.
I'm not scared at all
Underneath the cuts and bruises
Finally gained what no one loses
I know I can do it. I have to do it
.
I'll find you
I will find you
I will.
I'm not dead just floating
I'm not scared just changing
You're my crack of sunlight yeah
In my black life you were my sunlight.
After the song ends Rose stands up and starts packing. ' I have to see a Moroi about some money.I just hope I can use Adrain's crush on me to get what I need.'
A/N: Please review let me know what you think. I need reviews good, bad, whatever. Just no flammers please.