disclaimer: I DON'T OWN GOSSIP GIRL!! but i do own the characters i made up.

R&R please! first fanfic :)

hey people!

Roll up the windows and turn on the heat! I always thought that was meant to be a rude fart joke of some kind, but I have to agree with the genius I'm quoting because it can really get cold up here in Canada. Goodness, I'm from Manhattan, you technologically-challenged cavemen! New York City had heated sidewalks. I hope it doesn't snow very much this winter. The best place for boots up in Icebergland is Holt Renfrew, but whoever heard of buying anything there? I think there might be some wrinkles in their clothing from old age. I just hope real stores ship to towns with a population under ten. Anyhow, time to stop complaining. I have a reputation to uphold.

Here in Ancaster we're getting one last look at summer '08 before it's gone forever. It would seem, however, that we haven't turned down the heat one degree (thank-you!). In this tiny town I've been lurking for the past little while, things do tend to get rather boring, so I'm glad it's grade nine weekend. And people are FINALLY starting to catch on to this blog (yay! thirty-eight txt subscribers!!), and my sweets, have I got news for you!

For my NY buddies, grade nine weekend in Barrenwasteland is a weekend where all the grade nines from the private school district board get together and have a massive sleepover at the co-ed school, Ancaster Phillipedes. There are two separate gyms for boys and girls, but I have to say, only the people who will never have boyfriends paid any attention. Anyone see KT with BL & CP? Talk about a threesome! This is kiddyporn, is that not ILLEGAL?

Not meaning that this is any threat to the people here. I'm quite proud of them, actually!

Also. There were dares going on in exchange for shots. I think a few people were confused about the excess kissing between different people for a little while! I'm pretty sure DC and CO are gone for good because of his bad behavior. But he IS pretty fine, I must say, so it isn't much of a heartbreak to anyone but her. Poor baby.

My scandal of the day, however, was ACTUALLY CAUGHT ON CAMERA. I think M's in twubble!

as mentioned above

Yeah, I'm talking M and EK. So, uhm, what exactly was up with their little stunt anyway?! Okie dokes, I can understand pulling a (century old) S + N act in practically public, but isn't underneath the cafeteria counter going just a little bit too far? Thanks to their fucked-up hook-up half the people in the caf (which was A LOT of people, and hey, what is with my odd poetry??) know about their sex lives. And once the luch lady reviews the tape of the camera positioned above the chips, everyone else will too—including the beloved headmaster. Whoopsie and also EW. Grade nines?! Yucky! Is M even fourteen yet? Jokes, guys. Have all the sex you want. It's a daily physical activity, the you've-missed-class-we're-telephoning-home machine is broken, so don't feel bad about skipping gym. There's a sample sale at Chanel tomorrow in Toronto!

J, giving her dad one last hug before she boarded the train back to Waverly. Aw, I wish I had her holiday schedule! Note to self: get someone to post a flyer about hair transplants round their place. Or J, cause I know you'll read this, just tell him yourself.

and now it's your turn to talk

Gee-Gee,

when r u coming home gtt about stuff going on here love you and miss you

-ggsbestie

ggsbestie,

Why would you ever tell me a secret that you want to, you know, be kept secret? Are we friends? My friends would never be that desperate.

-Gossip Girl

Gossip Girl,

WHO ARE YOU?! I SEE MY INITIALS ON HERE!! WHERE THE FUCK DO YOU GET THIS INFORMATION FROM? STALKER! GO BACK TO MAHATTAN! OR TAKE UP A JOB WITH THE FBI!

-WTF

waiting patiently for the hormonal teenager to back up

Shoud I even bother to respond?

cahoots to you all! what does that mean, anyway?

Stick around. You know you love the attention. And of course, you know you love me.

gossip girl