I totally stole this off that "tandem story" urban legend that you can find on Snopes. Go check it out.
Quote of the day:
I don't give a smooth fart whether or not we go.
-Steve Lopez, The Soloist
Miyako remained skeptical to the fun that was to be found in the Saturday night activity that Takeru had insisted time and again was necessary for them to try, and she sighed as she met eyes with Daisuke, the self-proclaimed leader of their merry band of misfits not exactly being the person who she wanted to team up with for the current project.
The two of them were sitting across from each other at Takeru's dining room table, Ken and Iori were on the couch with the notebook that Takeru had given them for the apparently fun little project, and Hikari and Takeru were in the hallway sitting beside each other as the two of them seemed giddy to begin. Miyako couldn't help but just scoff at the sight, because of course Takeru made himself be partnered up with Hikari for the tandem story that he was forcing them all to write. If the guy was any more obvious, he'd be a naked Jun standing just outside of one of Yamato's dressing rooms.
She and Daisuke continued to stare at one another, before Miyako sighed and reached for the notebook that had been sitting untouched right in between them. It wasn't that she disliked writing, in fact it was one of her most favorite past times to sit under her blankets with her laptop and create little tales for the denizens of the internet to read, but what she was reluctant about was writing a story with a certain fondness she found herself inserting into every little word of it, only to have Daisuke ruin it by having a dinosaur burst into the room without warning to eat all of the occupants of whatever setting she had been careful and meaningful enough to create. She was hesitant, but she picked up her pen and went to work, eventually becoming proud of what she created, and of what she then slid over to Daisuke for him to continue.
At first, Anzu couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The camomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Ryu, who once said, in happier times, that he liked camomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Ryu. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So camomile was out of the question.
Daisuke didn't know whether to laugh at how neurotic that Miyako had made the apparent protagonist of their story, or cry at the fact that he now had to write something that was more akin to The Notebook than it was something that was cool and badass, like Die Hard or Spongebob Squarepants. He and Miyako of course never had seen eye to eye exactly, despite the fact that they had been friends for a while now. He closed his eyes and sighed, before opening them and rereading Miyako's paragraph a few more times. He nodded as he set the notebook back down again, and he picked up his pen triumphantly, knowing just exactly what he had to do.
Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Hisakawa Ryu, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed bimbo named Anzu with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Hisakawa to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. "Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the cockpit.
"What the hell is this?" Miyako barked as she immediately stood up from her seat after reading what a grinning Daisuke had passed to her. She wanted to write a tale of a woman coming to terms with who she was, charming and witty, and sometimes tragic moments in her life shaping who she would later become.
Daisuke in turn just shrugged, the direction where he led the story being far more awesome in his eyes. "Takeru-kun wants us to write a story together, so I just continued from where you left off."
Everyone was watching them at the moment, and Miyako continued to glare at Daisuke. She crossed her arms and waited for an apology, but once she saw that she wasn't getting one, she scowled even nastier in his direction and sat back down. "You wanna play like that? Fine!"
He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for emotionally brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peaceful farmers of Skylon 4. "The World Congress Passes Law Permanently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Anzu read in her newspaper one morning. The news simultaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth — when the days had passed unhurriedly and carefree, with no newspapers to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully.
This time it was Daisuke who stood up in defiance, angry since what he wanted to do was make their story fun, and Miyako had instead decided to go the vindictive route. He narrowed his eyes down at the smirking four-eyes, who was in her seat with arms crossed, content and proud of her actions. He knew that everyone else was watching what he would do next, and Daisuke calmly sat down again, knowing that she wouldn't be able to top what he would write next.
Little did she know, but she has less than 10 seconds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dim-witted wimpy pansy ass peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace Disarmament Treaty through the World Congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien empires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the entire planet. With no one to stop them they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile entered the atmosphere unimpeded. The World President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion which vaporized Anzu and 85 million other Earth Citizens. The President slammed his fist on the conference table. "We can't allow this! I'm going to veto that treaty! Let's blow 'em out of the sky!"
And that was as far as Miyako and Daisuke's story got, considering that the next five minutes of the night were spent with the rest of those present trying to pry her hands off of Daisuke's neck.