My name is Tabitha Celeste Gaartha Valdamerca Mortichia Longbottom. Hetic name I know, but it's me. Neville, is my half brother. His dad was a manwhore, and slept with my mom at the same time as Nelivle\s mom. So I'm the same age as Nevile.
Then he got my mom preggers, and then Nevile's dad, frank, the douche left my mom all alone!1 So, anyway, she raised me all by herself. I have long ark, dark black black hair that retaches my mid waist. I have a secret. I'm quater house-elf, ok? Nobody knows, cept my mom.
Thats where I get my buggy eyes from, I hate them. But peopl tell me they are really cute. I dont belive them.
But, whatever. My fav colour EVERRRR, is black. I wear it all the time. Like right now, I'm wearing black chunky boots, with lots of silver straps over them and black ripped stockings and a flowy black skirt and a black tight animal-skin (Its made of dragon. Buts black.) shirt, that Hagrid gave me. I swear he has naked pictures of me in his hut! Gross, right? Yeah.
Its was such a boring morning but i had to eat atleats liek 40 calories before class and I had charms next and prof flitwirk is sooo hawt (He half goblin! who doesnt love wrinkly skin!) so he needs my full attenti0n. I walked into the great hall. I heard rapping.
That must be prof Shizzle Snape Snap Rapping. He's pretty good at it t00!
"Y0, peace out!" Shizzle Snape Snap hit his chest and flashed a peace sign. Smirked. I just ignored im altough he was oogling me n my h0t body ...I wondered if his spedo was getting too tight? So, I went over to Harry- ok, liek knew Harry. Ok, he is kind of a prep and gotik poser. He likes me.
But yeah, I still hung out with himsometimes. Everyone called him the BOy who posed. For obvious reasons. Ugh. I hate posers. Harry was wearing really tight skinny jeans, that looked like they belonged to Jinny. And a Jonas band shirt. I mean, srlsy wtf?
"Tabitha!" Hary called. He had snake bites on, they where pointy and red.
"Uh no way you poser!" I went over to draco he so hot and hes bi ...he had a thing for dumbllbums assitant orochimaru but snake face oro had something going on with dumblebum but draco also had a thing for me too cos hes bi so its all good. I swear everyone loves me. Even tough I have buggy eyes.
I started at prof firlick as he taught his class. OMG. I wnated to rape him right then and there! I mean, he is sooo beardy, I love beards. Sex on legs? Oh yeah. I just wanted to stroke that long nose, I mean it just went on forever! And everrrr!111 So. He toaughts us a spell. It went like this, 'Bibo ergo sum', it summoms so much beer. Everyone drank it, but HARRy got drunk, he cant hold his booze. What a poser. Draco looked hawt, not as hot as prof flitswick toough, who was liek swimming in it. But he wasn\t drunk at all! I love a guy who can hold his beer.
After class, Prof Flitswicklie, call edm back, I was like, 'Oh shit, I'm in trouble. But I didnt know what I did.' The poser Harry, teased me about it then passed out on the floor. Draco said to meet him in the girls bathroom on the second floor after. Then flisrprof asked me out. Tabita was like, 'Wow! Sure!' and kissed him and then left to go get ready for the date. It was at diagon alley at that weird ass ice cream place florean fortsuces it was soooooo yummy i told him i needed to pee and so i went to WC and peed. wen i came out of the stall all i saw was beard, it was intoxikatin , oh the musty smell of the beard...wait I recognised taht beard smell
"prof flisr-" i coyuldnt say my whol sentence cos al of a sudden he was on me and we doing the toungue thing and it was soo good .i heard a zippy and another zipy noise and i felt a long thingy like his hand going into my glove. TabitA screamed happily! And she went to her happy place. wrapped her arms around firtzflizoole.