Title: Speed Of Pain
Parts: 1/?
Author: Jei
Rating: R
Warnings: Story contains Drama, Angst, Slash, Rape, Self Multilation dunno what else _
Pairings: Legolas/ Aragorn
Disclaimer: To make it short Tolkien owns it all.
Summary: Aragorn loves Legolas but why is the young prince rejecting him and all his friends? Has it to do with what happened in his past?
Notes: Sorry for grammar, spelling or any other errors. English is not my mother language so please bare with me.
If you don't like this fic then please don't send me flame mails or anything, as they are most likely to rot in hell. Constructive Feedback is always appreciated! Oh yeah this is an AU! Legolas is older then 3500 years and well basically I'm just using the persons and places....
A/N: It's from Legolas' POV will change into 3rd person from time to time
Which will be marked with ~.
A/N 2: This fic was published a couple month ago but fanfiction decided to take it down and ban me for quite a time. I do not know why they did as I saw fics with more torture, blood and things then this one. I changed it around a bit and corrected any mistakes and well if they decide to delete this once more I will officially quit ff.net!
Now onto the fic and please review!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a nice and sunny day in the middle of August. Nothing seemed to tell of the great evils that were soon to come to this peaceful place called Rivendale. A secret council would be hold here today, where many beings from all parts of Middle-Earth would meet. Soon they would come, hoping to find a way to destroy the evil for forever. Until then, the world was a quiet and peaceful place.
Frodo, the ring bearer and his 3 Hobbit friends were already there, waiting for the others to arrive. They heard that there would be dwarfs and even Elves from Mirkwood. Needles to say that they were really excited to see them. Soon after they settled on one of the marble balconies a strong build man with gold brown hair arrived on a hazel coloured horse. "This my friends is Boromir, Son of the steward of Gondor" Gandalf said joining the 4 hobbits.
Boromir jumped down his horse and walked straight to the great hall to meet Elrond. Even a blind hobbit could tell that he was a really proud man and not more then 10 minutes later Frodo heard a grumpy voice loudly talking to another one.
Trough the gate came a red haired dwarf, swearing about the hard walk. Pippin made big eyes for he had never actually seen a dwarf and this one did not actually look like what he had expected. He wasn't much taller then the Hobbits themselves but well fed. Sam wondered what a Hobbit must eat to get such a big belly.
His thoughts where interrupted when the last one of the guests arrived. It was a thin, blonde elf with beautiful jade eyes. His golden hair was framing his being like halo. Never had he seen such a perfect elf. "Who's that?" Merry asked Gandalf while trying to get a closer look at the elf.
"This is Legolas, Son of Thranduil and Prince of Mirkwood, oh and don't break your neck while you are up there..." Gandalf laughed at Merry, for he was half over the reeling of the balcony. Frodo looked deep in thought as he watched the fair elf dismount his horse. "A prince..." he whispered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas POV
I jumped down onto the ground, looking around. Rivendales beauty always gave me a little bit of my inner piece back. I petted Silvertails nose then made my way to the great hall, admiring the gold and silver everywhere. So beautiful...how I wish that I could be so untainted as the white marble showing itself everywhere...
When I walked trough the golden gates, Elrond got up and greeted me. "Nice to see you again Legolas. How are you?" he asked smiling.
"Fine" I lied. I quickly seated myself on a chair next to two golden haired elves.
I then looked at all the guests that attended. I spotted Gandalf the Grey to my right and Aragorn right on the opposite of the ring. My heart sank when I saw him. He still was a beautiful man with bright grey eyes that were showing love and happiness. Things I have longed for so long but never really gotten.
I sigh before looking onto the ground. 'Legolas...' I told myself, 'don't be stupid and begin to think that maybe your life will change. You will die in the end, without a moment of pure happiness.' I tried to block the little voice out of my head but to no succes as it was chanting it's song without stopping. It was like a whirlwind inside of my head. All those times I tried so hard to not listen but someday I just gave up...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soon the council was over and The Fellowship Of The Ring was born. Not once noticed someone Legolas' inner suffering. They all were busy with their own problems. Only once would the ring flame up when Legolas joined the Fellowship. Why? That no one knows.
Only time can tell.
"Now get some rest before you begin with your Quest" Elrond said hushing them to their rooms.
Aragorn did not want to waste time, but even if he hated to admit it; the long journey to Rivendale had him pretty worn out and a full nights sleep would do him good.
Just before sleep overwhelmed him, his thoughts travelled to his long time friend Legolas. Did he just imagine it or had his beloved elf a haunted look in his eyes.
He had seen it before but not that bad. Remembering the shadow in his friends eyes, the half asleep man made a promise to find out what was haunting his friend and to help him. Soon after he finally fell into a strange dream...
Legolas was there, crying. Aragorn tried to comfort him with soothing words but to no use. Then suddenly there were Orcs taking his friend away from him.
He screamed for his love to come back but got no answer. Tears were flowing down his cheeks as he mourned over the loss of his love. Never once thinking that it was wrong to call Legolas his love.
3 doors away Legolas sat on a gold tainted armchair deep in thought. His eyes were dim like a flame that was soon to go out. He was deathly pale and tears threatened to spill down his face but they did not come. There were no tears left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They think I'm coming with them because I want to save Middle-Earth. They think I do it all for them. Nooo...
It is just that I see my beloved Estel again before I...die...
I shrieked out of my thoughts. I had finally thought what I had long tried to hide from myself.
I am dying. Dying because I cannot take this anymore. I am nothing more then a hollow body. Avoid of all feeling.
My right hand itches trying to get as near to my elven dagger as possible. I try my hardest to not let this craving overwhelm me but to no use. It is like my body works on it's on will. Before I can really think about what I am going to do; I take out one of my silver elven daggers and look at it. Am I really not feeling at all?
I bring down the sharp blade to my left arm and press it down. It does not hurt so I move it down to my wrist. Finally it begins to hurt as blood pours out of the deep wound. I smile. A smile of unbearable despair. I stare at the red liquid as it starts to flow down my arm marvelling at my own creation. Slowly I get up to bandage it, so no one would notice. It would be such a shame.
Finally I lay down onto the soft and comforting bed knowing that this would be my last adventure and maybe the end of it all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning Legolas awoke as Aragorn softly called his name. He turned around and looked at his beloved friend. "Good morning. We need to go soon," Aragorn said looking concerned.
Legolas sensed that Aragorn was not quite finished and besides he could not hear anyone else moving in the castle. "What is it you want to say" The elf sleepily returned.
"I do not know how to put it into the right words but I am very concerned about you, Legolas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas POV:
I sigh. Why can't they leave me alone? I can handle this. I'm strong enough. I'm good enough. "What do you mean? Everything is fine!" I reassure him, hoping that he would believe me and not ask any further Questions but he being Aragorn does not know when to stop.
"Legolas, you can tell me everything. I can help you, all you have to do is just tell me what makes you so..." I see his troubles finding the right words."...sad" he eventually ads.
He then tries to touch my cheek but I can't help but shrink away from his touch. "What is wrong?" He asks for the second time.
I cannot stand it anymore. Anger is rising inside of me trying to tear me apart. "Everything is fine..." I say calmly. "But..." "I AM OKAY SO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I scream at him instantly regretting it, as I see his hurt expression. He turns around and leaves without another word.
Why do I always screw things up? He wanted to help me but I pushed him away. A sharp pain wrecks trough my heart causing me to wince.
"I am sorry love. So so sorry" I whisper looking at the now closed door. It is true I am dying and even you cannot help me now.
Suddenly I got the perfect idea. If everybody hates me then nobody will mourn over me when I finally break apart. I smile to myself. Yes that will be the first thing I do right in my life.
~~~~~
TBC....
By Jei
*****************************************************************
Well there is more to come and please review ^_^
Parts: 1/?
Author: Jei
Rating: R
Warnings: Story contains Drama, Angst, Slash, Rape, Self Multilation dunno what else _
Pairings: Legolas/ Aragorn
Disclaimer: To make it short Tolkien owns it all.
Summary: Aragorn loves Legolas but why is the young prince rejecting him and all his friends? Has it to do with what happened in his past?
Notes: Sorry for grammar, spelling or any other errors. English is not my mother language so please bare with me.
If you don't like this fic then please don't send me flame mails or anything, as they are most likely to rot in hell. Constructive Feedback is always appreciated! Oh yeah this is an AU! Legolas is older then 3500 years and well basically I'm just using the persons and places....
A/N: It's from Legolas' POV will change into 3rd person from time to time
Which will be marked with ~.
A/N 2: This fic was published a couple month ago but fanfiction decided to take it down and ban me for quite a time. I do not know why they did as I saw fics with more torture, blood and things then this one. I changed it around a bit and corrected any mistakes and well if they decide to delete this once more I will officially quit ff.net!
Now onto the fic and please review!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It was a nice and sunny day in the middle of August. Nothing seemed to tell of the great evils that were soon to come to this peaceful place called Rivendale. A secret council would be hold here today, where many beings from all parts of Middle-Earth would meet. Soon they would come, hoping to find a way to destroy the evil for forever. Until then, the world was a quiet and peaceful place.
Frodo, the ring bearer and his 3 Hobbit friends were already there, waiting for the others to arrive. They heard that there would be dwarfs and even Elves from Mirkwood. Needles to say that they were really excited to see them. Soon after they settled on one of the marble balconies a strong build man with gold brown hair arrived on a hazel coloured horse. "This my friends is Boromir, Son of the steward of Gondor" Gandalf said joining the 4 hobbits.
Boromir jumped down his horse and walked straight to the great hall to meet Elrond. Even a blind hobbit could tell that he was a really proud man and not more then 10 minutes later Frodo heard a grumpy voice loudly talking to another one.
Trough the gate came a red haired dwarf, swearing about the hard walk. Pippin made big eyes for he had never actually seen a dwarf and this one did not actually look like what he had expected. He wasn't much taller then the Hobbits themselves but well fed. Sam wondered what a Hobbit must eat to get such a big belly.
His thoughts where interrupted when the last one of the guests arrived. It was a thin, blonde elf with beautiful jade eyes. His golden hair was framing his being like halo. Never had he seen such a perfect elf. "Who's that?" Merry asked Gandalf while trying to get a closer look at the elf.
"This is Legolas, Son of Thranduil and Prince of Mirkwood, oh and don't break your neck while you are up there..." Gandalf laughed at Merry, for he was half over the reeling of the balcony. Frodo looked deep in thought as he watched the fair elf dismount his horse. "A prince..." he whispered.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas POV
I jumped down onto the ground, looking around. Rivendales beauty always gave me a little bit of my inner piece back. I petted Silvertails nose then made my way to the great hall, admiring the gold and silver everywhere. So beautiful...how I wish that I could be so untainted as the white marble showing itself everywhere...
When I walked trough the golden gates, Elrond got up and greeted me. "Nice to see you again Legolas. How are you?" he asked smiling.
"Fine" I lied. I quickly seated myself on a chair next to two golden haired elves.
I then looked at all the guests that attended. I spotted Gandalf the Grey to my right and Aragorn right on the opposite of the ring. My heart sank when I saw him. He still was a beautiful man with bright grey eyes that were showing love and happiness. Things I have longed for so long but never really gotten.
I sigh before looking onto the ground. 'Legolas...' I told myself, 'don't be stupid and begin to think that maybe your life will change. You will die in the end, without a moment of pure happiness.' I tried to block the little voice out of my head but to no succes as it was chanting it's song without stopping. It was like a whirlwind inside of my head. All those times I tried so hard to not listen but someday I just gave up...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Soon the council was over and The Fellowship Of The Ring was born. Not once noticed someone Legolas' inner suffering. They all were busy with their own problems. Only once would the ring flame up when Legolas joined the Fellowship. Why? That no one knows.
Only time can tell.
"Now get some rest before you begin with your Quest" Elrond said hushing them to their rooms.
Aragorn did not want to waste time, but even if he hated to admit it; the long journey to Rivendale had him pretty worn out and a full nights sleep would do him good.
Just before sleep overwhelmed him, his thoughts travelled to his long time friend Legolas. Did he just imagine it or had his beloved elf a haunted look in his eyes.
He had seen it before but not that bad. Remembering the shadow in his friends eyes, the half asleep man made a promise to find out what was haunting his friend and to help him. Soon after he finally fell into a strange dream...
Legolas was there, crying. Aragorn tried to comfort him with soothing words but to no use. Then suddenly there were Orcs taking his friend away from him.
He screamed for his love to come back but got no answer. Tears were flowing down his cheeks as he mourned over the loss of his love. Never once thinking that it was wrong to call Legolas his love.
3 doors away Legolas sat on a gold tainted armchair deep in thought. His eyes were dim like a flame that was soon to go out. He was deathly pale and tears threatened to spill down his face but they did not come. There were no tears left.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
They think I'm coming with them because I want to save Middle-Earth. They think I do it all for them. Nooo...
It is just that I see my beloved Estel again before I...die...
I shrieked out of my thoughts. I had finally thought what I had long tried to hide from myself.
I am dying. Dying because I cannot take this anymore. I am nothing more then a hollow body. Avoid of all feeling.
My right hand itches trying to get as near to my elven dagger as possible. I try my hardest to not let this craving overwhelm me but to no use. It is like my body works on it's on will. Before I can really think about what I am going to do; I take out one of my silver elven daggers and look at it. Am I really not feeling at all?
I bring down the sharp blade to my left arm and press it down. It does not hurt so I move it down to my wrist. Finally it begins to hurt as blood pours out of the deep wound. I smile. A smile of unbearable despair. I stare at the red liquid as it starts to flow down my arm marvelling at my own creation. Slowly I get up to bandage it, so no one would notice. It would be such a shame.
Finally I lay down onto the soft and comforting bed knowing that this would be my last adventure and maybe the end of it all...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next morning Legolas awoke as Aragorn softly called his name. He turned around and looked at his beloved friend. "Good morning. We need to go soon," Aragorn said looking concerned.
Legolas sensed that Aragorn was not quite finished and besides he could not hear anyone else moving in the castle. "What is it you want to say" The elf sleepily returned.
"I do not know how to put it into the right words but I am very concerned about you, Legolas."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Legolas POV:
I sigh. Why can't they leave me alone? I can handle this. I'm strong enough. I'm good enough. "What do you mean? Everything is fine!" I reassure him, hoping that he would believe me and not ask any further Questions but he being Aragorn does not know when to stop.
"Legolas, you can tell me everything. I can help you, all you have to do is just tell me what makes you so..." I see his troubles finding the right words."...sad" he eventually ads.
He then tries to touch my cheek but I can't help but shrink away from his touch. "What is wrong?" He asks for the second time.
I cannot stand it anymore. Anger is rising inside of me trying to tear me apart. "Everything is fine..." I say calmly. "But..." "I AM OKAY SO JUST LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE!" I scream at him instantly regretting it, as I see his hurt expression. He turns around and leaves without another word.
Why do I always screw things up? He wanted to help me but I pushed him away. A sharp pain wrecks trough my heart causing me to wince.
"I am sorry love. So so sorry" I whisper looking at the now closed door. It is true I am dying and even you cannot help me now.
Suddenly I got the perfect idea. If everybody hates me then nobody will mourn over me when I finally break apart. I smile to myself. Yes that will be the first thing I do right in my life.
~~~~~
TBC....
By Jei
*****************************************************************
Well there is more to come and please review ^_^