You Are The Father!
Notes: I was watching the Maury show, that should explain all of this….. Dean, Sam and Castiel crack!
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"Ready Sam?"
"Ready Dean."
"1. 2. 3!" Dean yelled as he pushed through the door with his salt shotgun aimed forward.
"Please welcome to the stage Sam and Dean Winchester!" Maury announced and stood up from his seat. Sam and Dean just looked at each other.
'Dude did you do this?" Dean asked Sam who just shook his head. They could hear the crowd starting to Boo.
"I thought this was suppose to be a vampire lair." Sam walked forward and looked at the crowd. "Um…hello."
"Gentlemen this way please! Have a seat!" Maury motioned the two to come to the center of the stage.
"Hey Maury, while this reception was surprising, what are we doing here? Did we win a prize?" Dean grinned and looked at the camera. "Hello ladies." Dean and Sam took a seat.
"I see the charm they are talking about." Maury joked with the audience.
"They?" Dean questioned.
"Oh yea that's right! He told me his name was Josh!" A girl in a ponytail with long fingernails yelled through the monitor behind them. Another blonde girl snapped her fingers at the screen and nodded.
"He told me his name was Wyatt. And he is our babies daddy!" The monitor showed two little boys in the backstage room sucking on a pacifier.
"What… No. No. I never met them before." Dean looked at Maury and back at the crowd. "I swear!"
"Oh you never met me… Maury, I'm coming out. Oh no he didn't just say that. " The blonde walked out of view of the camera and was coming upstage.
"You got that right! I'm going too!" The other girl went right after the blonde.
Dean stood up and saw the blonde come onto the stage. The crowd started to cheer as the blonde went towards Dean like an angry bull who saw red. Dean went behind Maury, trying to protect himself from the blonde.
"Please welcome to the stage, Megan and Alexis!" Maury announced.
"That's right, come here. Face me like a man." The blonde, Megan, tried to grab Dean. Sam stood up and tried to calm the girl down.
"Hey lets just sit down."
"You shut up! Because if he isn't my baby daddy then it has to be you!" Megan turned to Sam.
"What?!"
"That's right! You don't remember us?!" The other girl in the pony tail, Alexis ganged up on Sam.
"I.. we didn't…" Sam was nervous. The girls were very upset.
"How could you say these are not your babies!" Alexis pointed to the monitor. The two babies faces were shown side by side next to a photo of the Winchesters. "That's your baby! And that's your baby! One of you or both of you. I don't know but I am 10000% sure!"
"Listen ladies, it couldn't be us. Maury.. Do something. You have a mistake here." Dean pleded.
"Well the DNA evidence is here. We will find out right now!" Maury went to grab an envelope and opened it. "When it comes to Wyatt Jr, Dean… you are NOT the father!" The crowd went crazy, cheering. Alexis covered her face and fell to the floor, screaming that it wasn't true. "When it comes to Jacob, Dean.. You are NOT the father!" Megan now went for the dramatic antics. She grabbed a chair and tossed it down.
"So its his!" The girls pointed to Sam.
"No. You guys have it wrong. I haven't.. I mean…" The crowd went Aw to that comment. Maury went to grab another envelope.
"Lets find out!" The crowd cheered. Maury read both papers. "When it comes to Wyatt Jr and Jacob.. Sam, you are… NOT the father!" The crowd cheered again. Both girls were crying hysterically. Sam and Dean sighed in relief and gave each other high fives.
"Cover up every time boys and girls." Dean looked at the camera and smiled. The crowd laughed and cheered.
"But.. Ladies. We do know who the father of your children are. I have the results here because we tested one other person. Please.. Will the father come out to the stage?!" Maury announced and waited for the man to come out. His trench coat belt dragged down as he made his way down to the stage.
"I don't understand why I am here." Castiel spoke and looked at everyone.
"Cas?! You are the father?!" Dean was shocked! Cas?!
"No, I am not God. My name is Castiel."
"Oh right, you wanted us to call you God each time." Alexis stood next to Megan and crossed her arms.
"Dean… what is going on?" Castiel walked to Dean and wanted an answer.
"What are you asking me lover boy. Look at that, you're a daddy!" Dean pointed to the screen and there was two boys on screen. Castiel eyes widen and looked back at the girls who had their arms crossed.
"Dean. I do not understand the human form of humor. But if this is suppose to be a joke, I do not like it."
"Castiel, we tested you and you are their father. 99.9% DNA testing." Maury showed the paper work to Sam who re read it.
"Its true Cas, you are their fathers."
"Oh hell yea he is. He said he was the pizza man but he didn't have pizza! He better be there for them emotionally and most of all financially!" Megan snapped her fingers.
"I do not get paid for my job." Castiel answered Megan.
"Then you best get a better job! Because my baby needs diapers!" Alexis argued. Castiel looked at Dean for help but all he did was shrug his shoulders. Castiel saw the two girls coming at him with babies in their arms…
Dean woke up from the motel bed he was sleeping on. He turned to see Sam still asleep as he heard the TV set still on. The Maury show was on and Dean quickly went to turn it off. He saw an empty bottle of liquor in the trash can and knew he was never ever drinking that again.
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I made myself giggle now. : - ) Thanks for reading! Reviews are apperciated! and Loved! Internet hugs! *hugs*