Maria's thoughts
I can't believe you are no longer here Maddy I need you I find it hard to live without you. You where so young I can't believe someone could take your life from you like that you where amazing so beautiful I miss you Maddy I just want you back. I think to myself why you it could have happened to anyone of us. I used to enjoy our great night's out together where you would become hungover and make me laugh they are no longer the same with out you. I had a Road traffic accident four weeks ago I was paralysed Ric fixed it but I got mad when I couldn't get walking I needed you Maddy you would of given me courage told me off till I did it you would of told me to keep on trying but I didn't have you so I had to find courage in a dying young patient called sunitta she was lovely she told me to keep on trying never give up exactly what you would of told me to do If you was still with us today. Everyone misses you Maddy especially me, Donna and Linden. I am now getting back on my feet. Maddy it has been so long without you with me it's been hard at work without you to make it fun make us laugh brighten up the day with your beautiful smile you lit up the room. How I wish I could have you back here with me my lives just not complete without you in it. Donna has tried her best to comfort me but nothing will work I just need you here with me making me laugh making me smile and us going out on one of our fun night out's again you getting drunk and coming into work making linden angry with one of your hangovers. I will never forget that night when you had been drinking a bit to much and you walked back into the hospital and spent the night in the linen cupboard on AAU and waking up the next morning not having a clue how you got there this made me laugh. I remember finding you that day when you got stabbed in the toilets laid lifeless on the floor in a pool of blood I thought how could Chantelle do this to you well at least I think its chantelle in fact I know it was Chantelle who stabbed you. There hasn't been a day go by that I haven't thought of you it breaks my heart not seeing you enter the hospital every morning with a glistening smile on your face ready to start your shift. I know you loved your Job and your friend's well I think you where amazing as a friend And I am glad that I met you and I am pleased to say that I am happy I was your best mate. Maddy I miss you so much I just want to see you one last time walk through Holby's doors one last time with your amazing smile so I can have a chance to say goodbye to you. I just wish I could of said all these things to you, to say how much of a best mate you where to me and how much you meant to me but now it's too late Miss you loads Maddy