La Douleur Exquise- The heartbreaking pain of wanting someone you can't have/the exquisite pain
AU where Bluestar falls in love with Crookedstar instead of Oakheart.
This is my first fanfic so I apologize for any format errors or mistakes! I hope you enjoy the story. I don't own the warriors series or any of the characters in this fic. Feel free to make suggestions on how to make the story better! Thanks~
The wind was violent and cold, biting at Bluefur's ears as she made her way down the path to Fourtrees. She shivered and wished she had another cat with her to keep her warm on her journey, although it wouldn't be long until she arrived at her destination. Soon she wouldn't be alone any longer. She was planning on meeting a warrior tom from Riverclan at Fourtrees that night. They first met during a gathering as apprentices and they became friends, spending time together every month at the gathering, and as they grew older they began meeting more often, sneaking out to see each other.
In the dim light of the stars, Bluefur could just begin to make out the towering silhouette of Fourtrees in the distance. It wasn't much farther now. She quickened her pace, eager to see him. The two warriors hadn't seen each other since the last gathering, lately it had been hard for them to sneak out to meet up. Things between Thunderclan and Riverclan were really tense, and they both agreed that it would be safer to keep away from each other for a while. She sighed as she approached the tall oak trees ahead. It hurt to love the Riverclan tom, knowing that it would be impossible for them to ever truly be happy together. Warriors weren't allowed to have mates from other clans after all.
As she neared the entrance to the clearing surrounded by the four great oaks, Bluefur could see the sleek muscular outline of the Riverclan warrior waiting for her inside. She broke into a run and called out to him. "Crookedjaw! I'm so glad to see you again, it's been to long." The light brown tabby tom ran to meet her, and the two cats collided tumbling into the clearing, legs intertwined, touching noses and giggling.
"It's only been a moon since we saw each other last," Crookedjaw pointed out with a chuckle.
"I know, but I missed you so much," Bluefur admitted, looking up into his alluring green eyes. She reached up and touched noses with him and he returned the gesture. They curled up close to one another, so close they felt like one. Fur against fur, nose to nose, they were drunk off each other. Bluefur wished they could stay like that forever, when it was just the two of them, nothing else mattered. Nothing else could make her feel the way she did when she was with him. Crookedjaw rolled over so he was over top of her, looking down into her fierce blue gaze. Her eyes, he always would tell her, were like deep pools of thousands of galaxies, she held entire universes behind them.
He began to speak but she quickly cut him off. "If you tell me that thing about my eyes again I will fight you," she teased, looking up at him challengingly.
Crookedjaw gazed back down at her with a gentle expression, his eyes warm with love for the blue Thunderclan she-cat. "Oh Bluefur," he sighed, letting out a deep chuckle, "you never cease to amaze me."
Bluefur laughed and she playfully swatted at his head. He purred and gently nibbled on her ear. "Hey," she giggled and they tussled together. She desperately tried to get out from underneath the large tom but he had her pinned to the ground.
"I win," he boasted, holding his head up high.
Bluefur took the opportunity then to push up with all her might catching him off guard, toppling onto the ground. She pounced onto him and smirked. "Not anymore," she meowed cheekily.
"You got me," he replied, throwing his head back in defeat.
Before she could respond, a rustling noise came from the bushes just beyond the entrance to Fourtrees. The sound was too loud to be a rodent, and Bluefur's fur prickled along her spine. It had to be either a cat or a large animal like a fox or badger. Whatever it was, it was a threat. She stepped off of Crookedjaw and turned to face the direction the noise was coming from, arching her back. He stood up beside her, ears pricked forward, eyes alert. He unsheathed his claws and hissed quietly.
The Thunderclan she-cat looked at him with a faint hint of worry behind her determined eyes. "Crookedjaw, if that's another cat we will both be in big trouble if we're caught together."
The brown tom lifted his nose to the air and sniffed.
"It's downwind from us, I can't catch its scent," he stated.
"You have to get out of here," Bluefur hissed under her breath. "Just in case."
But the Riverclan warrior remained where he stood, looking at her with a distant expression in his eyes. "It might not be a cat though," he said, "and I don't want to leave you here alone if it's a fox or badger or a predator of some sort. Either way, the wind is carrying our scent in that direction, they would already have smelled us by now."
Bluefur sighed. "I just don't want to lose you," she replied solemnly.
"I know," Crookedjaw whispered, "me neither."
The rustling got louder as the creature approached. From within the dense undergrowth, a dark broad figure emerged. It was another cat. Bluefur got a whiff of it's scent. A riverclan tom.
"Oakheart?" Crookedjaw exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"
The bracken coloured tom shot him a look. "I'm no idiot, did you think I didn't notice you sneaking out at night every moon. I finally decided to follow you." Oakheart cast a glare in Bluefur's direction. "And here I find you getting friendly with a Thunderclan she-cat."
Crookedjaw took a step forward. "No it's not what you think," he insisted.
Oakheart narrowed his eyes. "Sure it isn't," he spat. He began to turn around and head back in the direction of Riverclan territory but Crookedjaw quickly leaped in front of him, blocking his path.
"Please," he stammered, his voice cracking slightly. "Please don't tell anyone, please brother. I love her. You must know what that's like." Oakheart's eyes softened and he cast a sad longing glance back at Bluefur and sighed.
Turning back to his brother, keeping his gaze low, he said in a hushed voice, "I really do." He hesitated before looking up to meet Crookedjaw's steady green gaze. "But it will only end in heartbreak, is it really worth it?" His tone was quiet and sad. Bluefur and Crookedjaw's eyes met and they held each other's gaze sadly. They both knew Oakhearts words were the painful truth, they could never really have the life they want to have together. Is it worth it? His words rang through her ears. But as she looked deep into the piercing green eyes of the warrior she loved, she knew. Love was always worth it.