Radek's Repository
A/N Originally written for David Nykl's birthday over on GW. I'm reposting it here now that I've finished writing it.
Disclaimer: Atlantis isn't mine. Written for fun not profit.
Warning: Unbetaed, whump, h/c, snark, minor foul language, and it came from my brain. Lol }:O
DN2-712, an abandoned planet according to the Ancient database, yields a veritable treasure trove of Ancient tech. Excitement buzzes through geeks and goons alike when a long lost lab reveals itself to Major Lorne's team. Evan refuses to acknowledge their good luck is due to one of his geeks, one Dr. David Parrish, tripping over a large "tree root" to get to the Pegasus version of a rare glowing pineapple moss plant. Instead, Major Lorne contents himself with geek sitting once the hard scientists descend on the new discovery. Dr. Radek Zelenka grins excitedly as the lab's treasures slowly reveal themselves. The Czech's eyes widen when a lieutenant with the ATA gene stumbles into a closet stuffed with Jumper drones. An ear to ear grin splits Zelenka's face when his drone count reaches forty five. His grin slips when the strident tones of one Dr. Rodney McKay pierces the hushed air.
"Seriously Zelenka? Trying to keep this quiet when you know I'm the foremost expert on…well everything? Not to mention I'm your boss and you should've reported this straight away…are you even listening to me? Anybody home in Zelenkaland?" Radek takes several deep breaths, silently recites his favorite dirty limericks, then turns to his boss.
"Ah Rodney, finally come down from pedestal to walk among normal people. I was just about to report to Atlantis and give update but since you are here in flesh and not just in my nightmares, I'll update you now." Sheppard snickers as he stands in the drone room and whistles appreciatively at the new found weapon cache. McKay scowls but listens attentively to Zelenka's report.
"Hm..well nothing's been blown up yet so it's a good thing I got here when I did. Radek, have you thought about.."
"Establishing grid search to document progress and finds? Yes."
"What about…"
"Using ATA gene carriers to open rooms? Of course, I did not receive my doctorates in Cracker Jack boxes."
"That's debatable. Sheppard, don't touch anything! You can fondle your drones when we get home. Seriously, what is with you Colonel Catastrophe? Too much hair gel?" A one finger salute answers the Canadian's acerbic rant. Radek smirks at Ronon Dex's eye roll and Teyla's quiet chuckle. Fingers snapping half an inch from his nose draws a growl from the Czech.
"Oh that's mature, Radek's added growling to his arsenal of bad vodka and bookmaking. Who wants to bet on number of growls per hour?" Radek curls his lip and grunts loudly.
"McKay, don't piss off Zelenka. He's doing a good job. This place is massive. Radek, do ya know how many rooms we're dealing with yet?"
"We have barely scratched the surface Colonel. We know there are close to sixty rooms and large spaces but only a few have been examined in any detail. Plus there could be shielded areas our equipment hasn't penetrated. We could be studying here for days, possibly weeks." Sheppard shakes his head in mock exasperation at the twin geek grins of joy. Ronon snickers when Lorne mutters a heartfelt "holy crap, you've gotta be kidding."
"Alright, head geeks. Do your thing."
"Eloquent as always Sheppard. " McKay and Zelenka quickly go over the Czech's grid pattern and deploy teams of geeks and goons. Ten minutes later, Sheppard rolls his eyes.
"Problems kids?"
"I thought I'd make my own wager with my wily Czech friend. One that doesn't involve grunts, growls…you know grunt speak."
"Get to the point McKay or I may shoot you. Or I'll let Ronon stun you."
"Right. I bet Radek that my teams will discover more Ancient tech than his cuz hello genius? How can I not win?"
"Such a petty little man. If loud mouth could power Atlantis, ZPMs would become obsolete."
"What's the prize for the winning teams Rodney?"
"Hmm…we actually didn't get that far. I'll think of something wickedly cool."
"Perhaps the winning team gets to name this facility."
"That's a great idea Teyla. Rodney? Radek? Sound good to you?" Affirmative nods from the bickering duo makes Sheppard grin.
"Let me just say naming rights go to the teams' leader and no cheating." Sheppard smacks McKay on the shoulder.
"Play nice Rodney. It's just an Ancient device treasure hunt. We're all professionals here so cheating's not an issue. Now whose team am I on?"
"Has all of your hair gel hardened and squeezed the life out of your last brain cell? You're on my team. Duh."
"I'm with Sheppard and McKay."
"I will assist Dr. Zelenka." Radek grins at Teyla.
"I'll protect the Doc Sir."
"Didn't wanna help Parrish with the fascinating glowing Pegasus pineapple moss growing on the south side of the complex huh Major?"
"Uh no Sir. Teyla and I will keep the Doc safe. And may the best teams win." Lorne snaps off a crisp salute to his CO then watches McKay grab an unsuspecting tech to form their crack team's fourth member. Lorne waves over the lieutenant who fell into the drone room and makes him their teammate. Radek nods appreciatively at his team members.
"Let's kick their asses Doc." Radek grins as Team Zelenka begins their hunt for Ancient treasure, traveling in the opposite direction of Team McKay.
Three hours and almost eighteen rooms later, Radek calls a meal break. A semi permanent grin dances across the engineer's grimy face.
"It is good to see you smiling Dr. Zelenka. It suits you," Teyla announces as they eat MREs and guzzle water from their canteens.
"Teyla, please call me Radek. Is good to be out of labs for awhile. Major, does this count as off world experience for monthly quota?" Lorne smirks at Zelenka's hopeful expression. The senior staff developed a schedule for all civilians and non Gate team military personnel to have some off world experience, preferably every month (barring crises).
"Sure Doc. Don't see why not. Hey Hamilton, ya like being off world?" The team looks at Lt. Hamilton.
"It's okay for babysitting I suppose. Rather be on a real Gate team even better. Gotta start somewhere right Major?" Lorne grinds his teeth at the lieutenant's barely concealed insolence.
"When we're assigned to scientist protection duty, we do it well and hope we don't see any action."
"Be nice to see some action Major. Can't some other newbies be assigned here so we can get more Pegasus field action? You know, to get assigned to a Gate team?" Lorne's blue eyes narrow.
"Part of the evaluation process to determine future Gate teams involves military personnel following orders and their attitudes during their less than popular assignments. Any other questions or surly comments lieutenant?" Hamilton's barely concealed rage sends bolts of ice down Radek's spine.
"Permission to walk the perimeter Sir?" Lorne nods and Hamilton strides angrily out of the room.
"Perhaps I should talk to Lt. Hamilton. Make him feel more welcome."
"Appreciate that Doc but it won't help. Hamilton's got a bad attitude and it hasn't improved since he arrived."
"I too have noticed that the lieutenant doesn't involve himself in off duty activities. I hope he'll make some friends while he's here and grow more comfortable with all that Atlantis has to offer." Both men nod at Teyla's quiet observation. The brief silence is shattered at acerbic tones wafting from their headsets.
"Well Zelenka, we've entered twenty two rooms to your paltry eighteen rooms." Radek growls and activates his headset.
"And what have you found in your twenty two rooms Rodney?" A lengthy silence descends over the headsets.
"Yeah Rodney, what have we found? Tell Radek." Team Zelenka snickers at Sheppard's bored tone.
"Not a lot. But that's mostly my secondary and tertiary teams."
"And our team oh great one?"
"Three devices…one we've never seen before and the other two are probably the Pegasus version of toasters." Evan slaps a hand over his mouth to stifle his laughter. Teyla bites her lip and her shoulders shake. Radek snickers at his boss.
"Are you laughing at me Zelenka? What have your teams found? Hair gel? Course Sheppard'll probably fight you for that." Radek grins mischievously.
"Do you have your tablet PC close to hand?"
"It's practically attached to his hip."
"Too bad it isn't covering his yap."
"Trap Ronon. Cover his trap."
"Whatever Sheppard. Gonna walk the perimeter." Zelenka quickly sends a detailed account of his teams' finds and progress to his irascible boss. Sheppard snickers at his geek's vitriolic language.
"I take it you guys have had better luck than Team McKay?"
"Yes Sir Colonel. I can't speak for our teams' geeks but our goons' chatter has been positive and colorful."
"Always a good sign Major. As long as we come out with tech to kick Wraith ass, I don't care who found it. Keep in touch Major."
"Will do Sir. Lorne out." Team Zelenka gathers their meal wrappers and continue their search. Prickles of unease skitter down the Czech's back when Lt. Hamilton's icy gaze falls upon him. Radek smiles politely at the young Marine as their exploration takes them deeper into the Ancient complex. Four more hours and another dozen rooms yields another smaller drone cache, possible replacement parts for two mainframe Gateroom consoles, and a dirty, compact, but organized Ancient lab. Once Lorne and Hamilton give the 'all clear', Radek scurries in. Teyla grins tiredly at the Czech's almost childlike glee. His eyes dance delightedly around the squat room. Zelenka's enthusiasm floods the Athosian leader with renewed vigor. Teyla watches Radek connect his tablet PC to a central console; she frowns at the hushed but animated conversation Lorne has with Hamilton. The hairs on her neck stand on end when Lorne strolls over.
"Is all well Major?"
"It'll be better once we get some replacement teams inserted. Doc, care to do the honors? I'd like to get new goons on geek sitting duty ASAP and need to co-ordinate with Col. Sheppard."
"Of course Major. I was going to suggest alternating geeks as well. There is much to confer with McKay about…and fresh teams with fresh eyes may catch something our tired eyes miss." Lorne grins and claps Zelenka's shoulder before walking to the lab's entrance. Teyla chuckles then falls silent when she feels hard eyes studying her. She arches an eyebrow at Lt. Hamilton and the Marine quickly averts his gaze. He paces restlessly near Zelenka. Thoughts of a Bantos sparring match with the insolent Marine flit through Teyla's head as she removes the video camera from her backpack. Quickly slapping a new battery into the recording device, she scans an odd Ancient looking script on two of the lab's walls. Several of the previous rooms also had the unusual script and Radek assigned her the task of visually documenting the texts for the linguists back on Atlantis. Teyla grins at McKay's acerbic rant as Zelenka's progress report continues; she snickers at Sheppard's suggestion that McKay needs a "little bitty nap". Teyla shakes her head as she documents the second lab wall; she pauses to study a patch of smudged script near the lab's entrance. Radek hums happily as his tablet PC downloads tons of Ancient text. He bounces around the room, making a cursory exam of the lab before returning to his computer. Everyone pauses when the lab's lights dim suddenly. Teyla's eyes widen when strong vibrations rock the small room. Equipment spills to the ground as the walls undulate gently. Czech and American curses fill the air; Hamilton snatches Zelenka's arm as ancient metals buckle. The engineer's fingers tightly clutch the tablet PC as the pair race towards the entrance. Fallen shelving units obstruct the men's desperate journey. Vicious shaking separates Hamilton and Zelenka; screeching metal deafens their screams. Debris slams into Radek and sends him crashing against a far lab wall. Hamilton flies through the lab entrance as Teyla and Lorne dive to either side of the entryway. Frantic breathing and settling debris echoes in the suddenly too quiet space. Rabid questions flood the pair's headsets. Teyla races to Hamilton's side and begins assessing his injuries.
"Major Lorne? Lt. Hamilton? Report damnit!"
"Zelenka! Teyla! You both better be alive cuz anything else is just wrong! You hear me? Teyla? Radek?"
"I am here Rodney."
"What the hell happened?"
"Dr. McKay, Col Sheppard. There's been an explosion. Dr. Zelenka is trapped in room thirty four. Hamilton was thrown through the lab entrance; Teyla's working on him as we speak. Requesting medical teams, we'll probably need Zelenka's combat engineers too."
"Understood Major. You and Teyla okay?"
"Yes sir. A few cuts and scrapes, nothing we can't fix with our first aid kits."
"Good to hear Major. Stay put. We'll be there shortly. Sheppard out."
"You okay Teyla?"
"I am well Major. Are you injured?" Teyla questions as she bandages Hamilton's bleeding head wound. Her lips purse as she studies Hamilton's right arm and left leg. Both limbs are bent in the wrong direction. Teyla checks the pulses in his wrist and ankle and nods at the strong beats in Hamilton's extremities.
"Nothing a few antiseptic wipes and band aids won't fix. You should look to that gash on your arm." Teyla blinks then looks at her left bicep. A neat diagonal slash mars the skin. Shaking her head, she quickly cleans and bandages her wound. Teyla smirks at the Sponge Bob band aids dotting Lorne's cheek and eyebrow.
"What?"
"Your choice of band aid is…amusing."
"It was either Sponge Bob or Hello Kitty; Sponge Bob is the lesser of two evils." Pounding footsteps announce the arrival of Team Sheppard, flanked quickly by their secondary and tertiary teams. Lorne launches into a rapid fire discussion with Sheppard while Teyla wrangles McKay's deluge of questions and supposition. The Canadian grabs his LSD and immediately begins scanning the wrecked room.
"I've got a life sign!" The teams cheer as Radek's secondary and tertiary teams rush into the corridor. Several of Zelenka's teammates begin assessing the damaged room.
"Dr. McKay, where is Dr. Zelenka located?" asks a tall blonde woman.
"Under the debris maybe? He's certainly not out here is he?" A stream of vicious German answers the Canadian's retort.
"Why do you ask Dr. Beiswenger?"
"Colonel, if we know precisely where Dr. Zelenka is located, we may be able to cautiously remove some of this debris and clear a path for the medical team." Ominous creaking silences the anxious group. Dr. Sasha Beiswenger and two other scientists carefully peer into the damaged room once the creaking ends. A hushed conversation erupts amongst the trio until McKay barges into the discussion.
"What are you discussing without me? Radek's life is on the line and I don't want anyone screwing this up." Narrowed eyes and muttered curses in four languages answer McKay's snippy question.
"Do you have a doctorate in engineering Dr. McKay?"
"What's that got to do with anything? I'm the smartest man in two galaxies, I don't need a doctorate in engineering to know Zelenka's life is in serious danger." Dr. Beiswenger grinds her teeth.
"Dr. McKay, you going off half cocked and rushing into this disaster zone could get someone injured or killed. I may not have a doctorate, yet, in combat engineering but I do have a master's degree in structural engineering and several thousand hours involved in stabilizing manmade and natural disaster zones. Do you?" A low moan cuts off McKay's answer.
"Try not to move lieutenant." Hamilton thrashes weakly; Teyla and a field medic carefully restrain the disoriented Marine.
"Adam? Try not to move okay? You got banged up," Lt. Terry Middleton cajoles. She flashes a penlight in the lieutenant's eyes, eliciting a hiss from Hamilton.
"Doc out?"
"Not yet Adam. We're working on it. Whoa, stop moving Hamilton!"
"Can't lose any more. Los' too many las tour. Gotta get 'im out." Teyla carefully places her hands on either side of the injured Marine's face.
"All will be well lieutenant. You have my word we won't stop until we get Dr. Zelenka out." Her quiet, firm resolve stills the Marine.
"Promise?"
"I do swear it. Please allow Lt. Middleton to see to your injuries."
"'kay." Another Marine medic with a Jumper medical field kit drops to his knees across from Middleton. The two medics work quickly to stabilize their fellow Marine's injuries. Teyla backs away from the medical personnel then swipes her wrist over her forehead. She smiles when Ronon pushes a bottle of water into her hand.
"You okay?"
"I am well, thank you Ronon." He raises an eyebrow at her gashed bicep.
"It is minor compared to Lt. Hamilton's injuries and Dr. Zelenka…missing. Once the others have stopped…"
"Bitchin'?"
"Bickering. I will offer whatever assistance I can."
"Yeah, not going anywhere til we find the Doc." His hazel eyes twinkle mischievously.
"You see Lorne's band aids?"
"I believe he considers Sponge Bob the lesser of two evils."
"I prefer The Transformers."
"Yes, you and the Colonel went through two whole boxes by yourselves not two weeks ago." The pair fall silent as Lt. Middleton walks over to Col. Sheppard.
"Sir, with your permission, I'd like to get Hamilton back to Atlantis. He's gonna need surgery and we've done all we can for him here. Adam's stable for the moment but that could change quickly."
"Permission granted lieutenant. Do either of you have the gene?" Middleton shakes her head 'no'. Sheppard waves over Sgt. Miller and assigns him to fly Hamilton and the medics back to Atlantis. A pair of geeks and goons carefully lift Hamilton's stretcher and head for the Jumper. Lorne and Sheppard roll their eyes as McKay and the geek squad continue bickering.
"Alright kids, quit bitching. This isn't helping Radek. If you can't put aside your differences, I'll assign new scientists, is that clear?" The snarling scientists stop bickering. McKay snaps his fingers as he paces.
"Okay, we need schematics of this room and the rooms on either side, we need to know if Zelenka's A Team triggered any traps, we need…"
"To know if there are any rooms above or below Dr. Zelenka so we can plan possible ingress and egress routes," Dr. Beiswenger adds as she paces opposite McKay. He nods as the pair launch into a more civilized, quiet conversation with their fellow geeks. Sheppard blinks at the huddled nerd herd then turns to the others.
"It must be bad if their bitching didn't last more than a minute. Lorne, Teyla, what can you tell me about the room Radek's in?"
"I'll show you instead," Teyla answers as she retrieves the fallen video camera. Although covered in dust, the camera flares to life; Teyla points out Radek's areas of interest and the room's squat dimensions.
"What are you guys doing? We have to get started…" McKay's rant dies when Teyla shows him the recording.
"Good thinking Teyla. Hey Sasha! Take a look at this!" Beiswenger hurries over and studies the replay. She suggests an ATA carrier carefully document room 35 to determine any damage. Sheppard assigns Sgt Richard and Beiswenger appoints one of her engineers, Dr. Moeller, to assess the room for structural stability. The pair rush off as the senior personnel organize their limited resources and await backup.
Distant, incessant yammering pulls the drowsy Czech back from the comforting black. A deep breath ignites a firestorm in Radek's chest. Blinking back tears of pain, he fumbles for the irritating noise near his ear. Radek yelps when he tries to shift his left arm; a black halo crowds his blurry vision. Sweat trickles down the exhausted Czech's face. Sight and sound fades for several minutes before the relentless, slightly hoarse voice pierces Radek's foggy brain.
"Radek? Zelenka! Answer me damnit! Quit sleeping on the job you bootlegging moonshiner with an Ebay doctorate! C'mon Radek…just a few words…hell you can grunt if ya want. Just let me…us… know you're alive. Please." The last word breaks on an indescribable emotion to the muzzy headed engineer. Radek bats weakly at his right ear then the left.
"M'here. Wha ppened? Ro'ney?"
"Oh thank god. I thought the lab squashed you. Stupid unstable Ancient complex. Are you okay? You sound horrible. Carson wants to talk to you." Radek attempts to shift his legs then realizes something uncomfortably heavy presses against them from mid thigh down past his ankles. Careful wiggling reveals his left arm trapped under debris. An ominous creak heralds a shower of dust and razor sharp rubble. Radek covers his face with his good arm and hisses as falling glass impacts his upper body. Panicked voices shout in Radek's ear piece.
"Zelenka? What's going on? You're giving Carson a coronary. Radek?"
"R'dy?"
"Yes! Yes, it's me. You okay?"
"Glass broke."
"Well that explains everything, thanks so much for that."
"Rodney, settle down ya numpty. Radek, it's Carson. Can ya tell me where you're hurting?"
"Chest. Arm an' legs pinned. Head hurtsss. M'sleepy."
"Radek,ya canna sleep ya hear me? We're sortin' tha rubbish as fast as we can. Can ya feel your arm and legs?"
"Numbbb."
"Aye. Can ya wiggle your fingers and toes?" Radek nods dumbly then hisses when his extremities protest.
"Hurts. Sleepy."
"Aye lad I can imagine. You can sleep after we get you out alright?"
"Mmm." Weary blue eyes slide close until a crabby voice pierces Radek's exhaustion.
"Zelenka? Damnit Radek! Answer me you inbred hobbit! Was there an explosion? Or something else? Just say yes or no okay? Radek?"
"'kay."
"Did something cause an explosion?"
"No."
"Was a booby trap triggered?"
"No..maybe. Sleepy."
"No sleeping yet Radek. C'mon Zelenka…talk to me. Did your team explore all of the rooms assigned?"
"Mmmhmm." A weak smile tugs at the Czech's recollection of his last progress report with McKay and the Canadian's outrage at Team Zelenka finding most of the cool stuff.
"Radek? Zelenka? You're gonna have to lay off the moonshine you know. Your five functioning brain cells aren't doing so well."
"Jealous."
"Am not. My brain's bigger than yours."
"Are too. My five brain cells are kicking your brain's ass," Radek wheezes. A pounding headache throbs behind his eyes and speaking leaves the Czech breathless.
"Radek lad…I want ya to ignore Rodney's rambling…"
"Hey!"
"And focus on breathing as slowly and as deeply as ya can alright? We're almost through son, we'll have ya out in a jiffy okay?"
"'kay."
"Listen to the sheepherder okay Radek. You know you didn't have to blow up our Ancient tech cache just because your birthday's in a few weeks."
"Di't blow up…m'birthday…sleepy."
'That made no sense whatsoever Radek. Was that three separate sentences or just nonsensical hobbit talk?" McKay paces restlessly near the lab's entrance, glaring at the rescue teams and waiting anxiously to hear from his 2IC. Everyone grimaces at the screeching of debris removal. Beiswenger and the combat engineers brace large pieces of metal that acted as a spine for the space Zelenka's been trapped in for several hours. Beckett converses quietly with his medics as the minutes tick by without the Czech answering. The Scot presses a bottle of water into McKay's hand and motions for him to drink. Ice cold water trickles down the Canadian's irritated throat and he moans happily before keying his headset mic.
"Radek? C'mon birthday boy, what do ya want for your special day? More brain cells? Better vodka recipes so people don't go blind drinking your hooch? A cure for your gravity defying hair? Course Sheppard may want you to share your cure ya know."
"Hey! Leave the hair alone McKay…you know just cuz…we're through! Beckett, get your gear!" McKay blows out a shaky breath as Beckett disappears into the collapsed lab. Twenty minutes creep by before the Czech's stretcher breaches the cleared opening. Cheers and applause greet the semi conscious engineer. McKay walks alongside Radek's stretcher and briefly pats the Czech's right forearm.
"You'll be okay Radek. Carson's gonna take good care of you. He'll break out his brand new rattle and good drugs just for you. Don't give him any more grey hair okay?" Radek grins drunkenly at his friend and pushes aside his oxygen mask.
"Is good to see you too Rod'y." McKay gently replaces the oxygen mask then watches as Radek is carefully loaded into Jumper One. Sheppard claps McKay on the shoulder as he hurries into his Jumper.
"C'mon McKay. Haul ass. Unless ya wanna catch a ride back with the engineering crew…the crew who just spent several hours digging out Zelenka." McKay's eyes widen in horror as he squeezes onto the back bench with Ronon and Teyla.
"Are you kidding me? I can smell them from here. I'm sure I've lost my sense of smell."
"Better your sense of smell little man than losing Zelenka," Ronon adds. Rodney nods and smiles at Teyla when she hands him a power bar. McKay swallows past a sudden lump in his throat before nibbling on his high energy snack. Glancing at his teammates, McKay grins at Ronon and Teyla then smirks at Sheppard. Covered in dust and grime, the friends listen to Beckett and his medics as they clean and bandage Zelenka's injuries while quietly reassuring the engineer. McKay sneezes violently as Sheppard maneuvers the Jumper up and over the Ancient lab.
"Terrific. Pulverized Radek rubble. Just what my allergies need." Teyla snickers suddenly, her shoulders shaking from quiet laughter. A Czech one finger salute meets the Canadian's unspoken question.
"How about you save that finger for later hmm Radek? Maybe if you're really good later, Carson can pull it for you." Ronon snorts water at the filthy glare Carson tosses at the physicist.
"Rodney, if that diarrhea o' the mouth continues, I'll find something besides a power bar to shut ya up with." Sheppard chuckles before he dials Atlantis and gives an update on Radek's condition. Cheers erupt in the gateroom.
"That's wonderful news Colonel. Dr. Beckett, I took the liberty of requesting a full med team to meet Jumper One. Is that acceptable?" Woolsey's relieved voice asks.
"Aye and I need to be patched through to the infirmary and have an OR suite prepped and ready when we land. Thank ya Mr. Woolsey." Beckett switches frequencies as DN2-712's gate comes into view. The Scot pauses his conversation long enough to insert a chest drain into Radek's right side. McKay swallows thickly at the rush of blood and fluid and his 2IC's groan of pain.
"Beckett did it to help him breathe better." The Canadian nods dumbly at Ronon's observation and swallows convulsively again.
"All will be well Rodney. Carson is the best healer in two galaxies. Trust in his abilities." A faint smile wobbles on the exhausted physicist's dirty face. McKay nods appreciatively at his teammates; glancing up, he briefly makes eye contact with Sheppard then Beckett. The Scot dips his head back at his friend, a tiny smile gracing his tired face. His face tightens when he listens to Radek's breathing. Shaking his head, Beckett grabs an intubation kit from his medic and quickly intubates the Czech. The Jumper's back hatch lowers and the Lantean medical team swarm into the tight space. Beckett relays orders as the crew heft Radek's stretcher onto a gurney then races to the infirmary. Team Sheppard slowly follows, the teammates keeping close to their scientist. The infirmary doors slide open and the team watches Radek's gurney rush into the OR suite. Dr. Biro descends on the group.
"Col. Sheppard, Dr. McKay, Ronon, Teyla, it's good to see you've returned relatively unscathed. Do you have any injuries to report?" They shake their heads 'no', still fixated on the OR suite doors. A sympathetic smile creases the pathologist's face.
"How about we get your post mission checks done then you can shower?" Biro waves over several nurses and whispers orders as the exhausted team remain rooted to the spot. Concern mars Biro's features as the post mission checks proceed without a complaint from Team Sheppard; usually twelve insults from McKay and five loud derisive snorts from Ronon echo throughout the infirmary within the first two minutes of their post mission checks. Biro checks over Teyla's gash and admires her CMO's handiwork. She quickly injects a tetanus booster and sends the Athosian leader to the showers. Biro grins at the men clustered around McKay's bed; the three men look like little boys overtired on their first sleepover. She administers a quick finger stick and discovers McKay's blood sugar dropping. He scowls at the glucose tablets she drops into his shaking hand.
"Bottoms up Dr. McKay. Knock those back and we'll get some trays for you guys." McKay opens his mouth to argue when Teyla reappears from the showers. She removes the plastic wrap covering her injury and raises an eyebrow at the seething scientist.
"Are you well Rodney?"
"No I'm not Teyla. Radek's probably dying in the OR right now all because we weren't fast enough." Teyla nods at Sheppard's mouthed 'low blood sugar'. She casually hands McKay a cup of water and motions for him to drink.
"You must keep up your strength Rodney. Please consume the glucose tablets then go take a shower. I will go to the mess hall and bring you something to eat." McKay nods and crunches down the tablets, making a 'yuck' face.
"C'mon little man. Race you to the showers."
"You better not hog all of the hot water Conan."
"It's Atlantis Rodney. We have unlimited hot water ya know."
"Whatever Sheppard. Hey! No running in the infirmary!" Biro and Teyla snicker as McKay trots after his teammates.
"I've got trays coming Teyla."
"I thought as much Dr. Biro. Thank you for your assistance. I will go to my quarters and check on Torren and Kanaan then return. I will not be long." Biro sighs as she realizes the exhausted team's vigil has just begun.
Four and a half hours pass before an exhausted Scot gently awakens Team Sheppard.
"Radek's holding his own. One of his ribs punctured his right lung so he'll be sporting a chest drain for a few days. A broken left arm and deep muscle bruising to both legs is gonna leave Radek in a fair bit of pain for awhile. I've stitched several deep lacerations as well. Barring complications, Radek should be in the main ward in two to three days."
"Thank you Carson for taking such good care of Radek."
"Aye lass, just doing ma part. Now, I know ya wanna see Radek so I'll allow ya lot to visit for a couple of minutes only and no lip from any of ya. If I or ma staff tell ya to move or leave, ya do it alright? Good. Let's get ya back to have a peek then to bed with ya. Try not to make too much noise alright?" Team Sheppard quietly follows their CMO into the ICU. Radek lays pale and swathed in bandages; his legs carefully elevated to reduce swelling. The chest tube leaks blood and other fluids out of his damaged lung. Radek's casted left arm rests on elevated pillows. Bruises mar his otherwise pale skin. A thin line of stitches runs diagonally across Radek's right eyebrow. A nasal cannula drapes under the Czech's nose.
"Alright lads and lass, ya've had your peek. I've got to debrief Mr. Woolsey before I go off duty. Off to bed for ya now." Beckett's gentle tone belies the steel under his statement. McKay carefully reaches over and pats his 2IC's right arm, muttering softly to the slumbering scientist. Teyla adds her own Athosian prayer and gently squeezes his right hand. Ronon whispers a Satedan mantra for strength before exiting the ICU. Sheppard cautiously squeezes Radek's good shoulder.
"Glad we got ya out Radek. Don't give Carson or Rodney any more grey hair okay?" Satisfied with his pronouncement, Sheppard slowly leaves the injured scientist in their CMO's capable hands.
Several days pass in a blur for the injured Czech. Hot desert temperatures battle with severe Arctic cold before both slowly fade away, leaving Radek utterly exhausted. He grunts as something cold and metallic slips passed his thin gown. Radek blinks groggily at the blurry blob in front of him.
"Alright lad, the chest tube's gone. A deep breath for me. Good. And again. Again." Radek furrows his brow at the lilting blob, trying to place the accent.
"Are ya in pain son?" Radek shakes his head 'no' at blobby…no…Carson. The Czech grins at the bemused Scot. Radek inhales as deeply as he can, trying to absorb the scents of the infirmary…of Atlantis…of home. He swallows thickly as memories of the complex's collapse rush back.
"Would you like an ice chip lad?" Radek nods and a little slice of heaven slides into his parched mouth. A second chip gives Radek enough moisture to speak.
"Others?"
"All accounted for. You and Lt. Hamilton were the only two injured in the cave in."
"What injuries to Lt. Hamilton?"
"A broken arm and leg. Some internal bleeding that was corrected surgically. He's asked about you several times."
"Please tell the lieutenant 'thank you' for saving my life."
"I can do that lad. Now, there's a whole group of people cluttering ma infirmary, chief among them an irritated Canadian hell bent on making sure 'ma voodoo rattle is rattling the right way' whatever the bloody hell that means. Are ya up for a wee visit with a few of 'em?" Radek smiles his consent, trying unsuccessfully to blink away his grogginess and blurry vision. A small, warm hand gently squeezes his good shoulder before handing him his eyeglasses.
"It is good to see you awake Dr. Zele…uh Radek."
"Is good to be awake Teyla."
"Would you like another ice chip?"
"Yes please." Radek sighs happily as the frozen particles coat his throat. Teyla rolls her eyes at the loud argument between McKay and Sheppard. She clears her throat and arches an eyebrow at the pair; Radek snickers at the pair's sudden silence. His eyes connect with Ronon's amused hazel ones and the Satedan nods a greeting.
"Hey Doc, good to see ya back with us."
"Is good to be back Colonel."
"Glad you're back with us Zelenka. McKay's been screeching like a half grown drennark." All eyes focus on the Satedan's statement and Teyla's snickers.
"Drennark are large noisy birds found on several worlds," Teyla explains. Radek chuckles then grimaces at the pain in his ribs. Beckett tuts and injects pain medication into one of Radek's IV lines.
"Alright lads and lass, I'm afraid visiting time's over for now. If Radek's up to it later, ya can poke your heads in alright?" Quiet goodbyes are uttered by everyone but McKay. The Scot scowls at his best friend when he plops into the hard plastic chair next to Radek's bed.
"Shoo Carson. Radek and I have real science issues to discuss. Go polish your stethoscope okay?"
"Rodney, don't agitate Radek. He needs his rest. Any loud yapping on your part will land you a full physical six months early. Are we clear?"
"Yes Carson. Now go polish your stethoscope or sand some tongue depressors okay?" Radek snickers at the Scot's muttered 'irritating bampot' as he walks away.
"How are you feeling Radek? Carson keeping you well doped up?" Radek smiles at his friend's soft questions.
"Yes. Plenty of good drugs."
"Good. Good. I..uh..just wanted to make sure you were doing okay all things considered. Take the rest of the week off and rest up your brain cells. I wanna know everything that happened back on DN2-712 but only when you can stay awake for longer than five minutes. Keep getting better Radek. I need you at your best to help me keep our space monkeys from blowing up our labs and Atlantis." McKay rolls his eyes but grins at Radek's soft snores. The Canadian carefully pats Radek's good shoulder then slips out of the infirmary.
Two weeks crawl by (according to Radek) but an air of secrecy pervades Atlantis. Despite repeated inquiries, the Czech doesn't receive any satisfactory answers. Radek resists the urge to stuff a pencil down into his cast to scratch the irritating itch as he walks down to physical therapy. His afternoon physical therapy appointment reunites Radek with Lt. Adam Hamilton.
"Ah lieutenant, is good to see you mobile." The Marine grins from his wheelchair.
"Thanks Doc. I heard ya finally got sprung this morning. Congrats."
"Thank you lieutenant…"
"Call me Adam…I'm off duty for awhile."
"Adam it is then. Please call me Radek. I wanted to thank you again for saving my life during the cave-in."
"Don't thank me Doc. Just doing my job." Adam pauses, grinning at the pretty red head physical therapy assistant when she applies a heating pad across his stiff shoulders. She grins back and moves onto the next patient.
"I…uh...wanted to apologize for acting like a prick on DN2-712. Couldn't quite wrap my head around actually getting to Atlantis then being treated like a wet behind the ears, new recruit."
"No need to apologize Adam. Arriving here is overwhelming for most people. Military experience against Ori or G'ouald in Milky Way means very little to those who've battled Wraith and Replicators here in Pegasus."
"Yeah, tell me about it. Guess you squints get off easy huh?" Radek snickers and shakes his head 'no'.
"Absolutely not. We 'squints' are even less prepared than those of you who are military. Many of us come from nice cushy labs on Earth where our degrees and egos speak volumes to our intelligence and large pay checks. Here in Pegasus, our degrees line bird cages and our egos are quickly deflated or destroyed outright…of course our Head of Science, Dr. McKay's ego is firmly intact," Radek explains with a wink.
"So this Dr. McKay is the Head Squint? I bet his ego's a mile wide huh?"
"Perhaps but Dr. McKay's brilliance and never quit attitude has saved many lives countless times."
"I'll take your word for it Radek. So..uh…what do you Lantean people do to celebrate birthdays and holidays?" Radek grins excitedly.
"We are all Lanteans here Adam. True, we come from different countries on Earth, but Atlantis is home away from home yes? As to your question, we have parties of course. Depending on the reason for celebration, we plan according to any traditions of both Earth and those of our allies here in Pegasus." Adam nods then groans as the cute red head from earlier strolls over and unlatches the brakes on Adam's wheelchair.
"Gotta go Doc. Rita needs me in an Ancient doodad to help speed up the healing for my arm and leg. Maybe we can talk some more later?"
"Of course. Keep getting better Adam okay?" The lieutenant grins and waves as Rita steers him deeper into the Lantean physical therapy department. Radek smirks back then heads for the science labs, grinning that his physical therapy sessions were mostly massage based.
Four days later, Radek grins happily as he bounces around Atlantis' science labs. His staff smile indulgently at his happiness. Small birthday presents and well wishes greeted his arrival that morning. Radek snickers as he considers the absence of Rodney McKay as a wonderful birthday gift. The afternoon flies by without the cranky Chief of Science poking his head into the labs. Well into the evening, Radek and his team conduct their research with quiet efficiency. Humming a little ditty, the Czech doesn't hear the arrival of Lt. Hamilton.
"Uh…hey Doc?" Radek whirls around and grins at the lieutenant.
"Hello Adam. How are you doing? I see Carson's Ancient healing 'doodad' worked for your leg. How is the arm?" Adam shrugs then hisses when his stiff neck muscles protest.
"It's getting there. So this is your lab huh? Cool." Adam casually glances around the lab, nodding at several techs. Radek turns away and fiddles with his laptop and misses the minute head shake one of the techs gives Adam.
"So…whatcha working on?" Radek grins at the innocent question.
"Do you want long, complicated version or short and sweet version?" Adam pauses to think for a moment.
"How about the short and sweet version?" Radek motions for Adam to come over to his laptop. Data scrolls quickly across the screen.
"Is that Ancient script?"
"We are not sure. This script was written on many of the walls in the facility. After our unfortunate accident, my engineering team managed to refortify several areas and this script was on many of the walls. Teyla actually documented this same script in the lab where we…got squished." Both men shudder at the memory.
"So it's Ancient but not Ancient. Hmm…I'm taking the basic Ancient Script 101 class right now since my injuries have me grounded. The professor, Dr. Angela Stevens, has so much knowledge about the Ancients' language, it's kinda freaky. Maybe she'd know about this Not Ancient script." Radek nods appreciatively.
"Yes, Dr. Stevens is quite good with Ancient. She and linguistic department are salivating over this script." Adam bobs his head and chews on his lower lip.
"Could I ask you a stupid question Radek?"
"No such thing as a stupid question Adam."
"Right. Um..could you maybe print out a basic part of this Not Ancient script? Dr. Stevens says I'm picking up the language pretty quick and back home I could pick up languages really easily. It's kinda a hobby of mine." Radek grins and pulls up another section of the Not Ancient script then prints it out.
"Here Adam. Does Dr. Stevens know about your 'hobby'?" Adam blushes slightly.
"Yeah. She'd like it if I could take a few more Ancient classes. The…uh…more upper level courses actually."
"Adam, that is fantastic! You have not been in Atlantis for very long correct?"
"Yeah. Just under three months. Came in the last Daedulus run."
"That is impressive. Is not often Dr. Stevens asks for Ancient Script 101 attendees to move so quickly onto the advanced courses." Radek grabs the ten page section then hands them to Adam. A loud sneeze interrupts the men's conversation and a whispered 'yeah sorry, allergies' comes from one of the lab techs.
"Hey Doc, you eat dinner yet?"
"Too much to do. But is much quieter here with Dr. McKay no where to be seen…or heard."
"Oh c'mon. I hear they served real lasagna tonight with Earth cheese and noodles plus Earth meats for the carnivores and veggies for the tofu crowd." Radek's eyes widen.
"Real cheese? Not the green cheese from Narak? It glows…is most disturbing."
"Seriously? Nope. No glowing green cheese."
"Hmm…what about dessert?"
"Uh…chocolate cake and ice cream I think."
"Earth ingredients or Pegasus ingredients?"
"Earth I think." Radek sighs and shakes his head.
"Is too bad I didn't know this beforehand. I would've stopped in time to get my share. Is almost eight pm and I know for a fact Rodney and Ronon would've licked the lasagna pans clean and the ice cream cartons too."
"Ah..Dr. Zelenka? I saved a few pieces of lasagna and hid them in a secret spot in the kitchen refrigerators," pipes up a red headed lab tech.
"Really Marcus?"
"Yeah. I was gonna bring 'em here to surprise you but I got busy with the simulation. It was supposed to be a surprise for your birthday. Sorry." Radek and Adam grin.
"Is fine Marcus. Adam and I will enjoy your birthday gift. Shall we lieutenant?"
"Hell yeah. Let's go Doc." Radek grins again and powers down his laptop; Adam smirks at Marcus and the tech snickers softly. The two men quickly enter the nearest transporter and exit near the mess hall. They stop when they hear loud voices.
"Seriously Sheppard, I'm dying here! This is too much for dying men to put up with."
"Can it McKay. It'll be over soon."
"Quit bitchin' McKay. It'll be better if you wait."
"Really Conan? You're drooling right now. How about one tiny little taste?" Yelps of surprise emanate from the mess hall, followed by chuckles and applause.
"What is going on?"
"Dunno Doc but we better get in there before Dr. McKay and Ronon eat your birthday food." The pair rush into the mess hall. Cheers erupt from the waiting crowd as Radek stops dead in his tracks. Adam grins ear to ear at the Czech's stunned expression.
"Finally! Zelenka, only you could be late for your own surprise birthday party." The mess hall's bright birthday streamers and balloons decorate nearly all available spaces. Radek snickers at the birthday hats many of the personnel wear, including Team Sheppard and Team Zelenka. He coughs a laugh at the birthday hat adorning Mr. Woolsey's head.
"Happy Birthday Doc." Radek turns to the Marine.
"My staff set me up. You were part of conspiracy?"
"Nope. Well, not really. I was told to come and escort you here."
"Marcus' lasagna. You and my staff are devious."
"Well, we learned from the best. How about we get this party started? I can smell all of the food from over here." Radek's stomach growls in agreement. Rodney smirks as he attaches a garish birthday hat to Radek's head.
"Hey, if I've got to wear one of these ludicrous hats, then so do you. Birthday boy." Everyone quickly descends on the Czech; handshakes, birthday kisses, and well wishes complete the first course of Radek's birthday bash. His stomach growls as they near the food tables. Radek grins ecstatically at the wide assortment of Czech foods; roasted pork and dumplings with sauerkraut, cabbage and egg noodles, marinated beef with dumplings, plus a wide variety of appetizers, vegetables, breads, and desserts. On a slightly smaller table, a selection of international, Athosian, and Satedan dishes complement the Czech cuisine. A hand on Radek's shoulder pulls his attention from the spread.
"Teyla. This is incredible! How did this happen? Did you have anything to do with this?"
"I merely played my part in gathering what foods Ronon and I could procure from some of our allies. However, your staff, along with some of the military personnel, all helped with the selection of dishes." Radek wraps Teyla in a bear hug before quickly letting go.
"Thank you. I cannot thank you. I cannot thank all of you for this." Radek blows kisses to the crowd; some of the guys playfully duck out of the way or use the nearest woman as shields. Teyla's arched eyebrow promises John a thorough Bantos training session. Laughter permeates the mess hall as everyone loads up plates of food. Music plays softly in the background; Radek nibbles on his meal as he slowly makes his way around the mess hall, chatting and enjoying his party. He grins when he approaches the senior staff and plops into the chair next to Rodney.
"How ya liking the party lad?"
"Is incredible Carson. Great food…although a good Czech beer with dinner would have been icing on cake." A huge grin splits Mr. Woolsey's face.
'Well Dr. Zelenka, I think we can solve that pesky beer issue. Maybe you should freshen up your plate and we'll see about you opening some birthday presents." Radek blinks confusedly at Atlantis' director; Woolsey smiles cheekily at the Czech.
"What has my getting more food got to do with opening presents? I have presents? I am not child.."
"That's debateable…ow! Teyla, your elbow's sharp you know. I bruise easily…fine shutting up now."
"Maybe you should reload your plate Radek…so a few of your presents would 'go' with your food." Radek shrugs at Col. Sheppard but wanders over to refill his plate.
"He really is oblivious huh Sir?"
"Looks that way Lorne." Sheppard stands up and pulls off a garish birthday tablecloth covering their table, revealing wrapped and unwrapped presents. Everyone at the table grin innocently at Radek when he returns.
"I have refilled…you are very devious people. Rodney, I know of your deviousness from working daily in labs. The rest of you…seriously, devious people." Radek smirks as Ronon offers him the empty seat at the head of the table. The Czech's jaw drops when he spies a six pack of Pilsner Urquell. Grabbing an ice cold bottle, Radek rips off the cap and swallows several deep gulps.
"Now this is beer. Great to have with my meal. Would you all like to try a taste?" Amused snorts and head shakes answer Radek's question.
"Please. You must. It would be rude not to share. Plus, it's my birthday and I want to share my beer with my friends on my birthday. Please." Empty glasses quickly crowd the Czech; Radek laughs as he pours healthy shots of Urquell to his teammates and friends. The group savor the beer, making appreciative noises and nodding their heads at Radek's pronouncement of 'this is great beer for a birthday party'. Radek quickly opens a second Urquell and fills their glasses more fully. The friends grin at Radek's happiness and enjoy their food companionably. Carson leans over and whispers in Radek's ear.
"Alright lad, I know you're enjoying your beer but I've got to insist that ya limit your alcohol intake due to the meds you're still on. Just go slow okay? Once you're done with your meds, we'll make sure to throw another party…one ya can truly celebrate at alright?" Radek sighs but nods at his friend. Carson gently claps the Czech's good shoulder then wanders over to refill his plate. Rodney smirks at his 2IC and casually passes the Czech another wrapped package. Radek pauses eating his marinated beef and rolls his eyes at his boss.
"Yes Rodney? Can I help you with something?"
"Yep. You can open this package next. I want to see your expression."
"Is not exploding whoopee cushion is it?"
"Seriously Zelenka, that is so juvenile. That's something Sheppard would do. Go ahead. Open it." Eying his boss suspiciously, Radek casually opens the large box.
"You got me a ream of ink jet quality paper? I don't know what to say." Rodney snickers and makes a 'keep going' hand motion.
"I'm not that crappy a boss Zelenka. Maybe you should open your paper." Radek rolls his eyes but carefully opens the 'paper'. Nestled inside the box lays a small rectangular box with the Not Ancient script emblazoned on all sides.
"This is Ancient toaster Rodney. Your gift has left me speechless." Rodney snorts at his 2IC's confusion.
"Actually it's not a food appliance Radek. That handy device actually helped saved your and Hamilton's life."
"How? Making crispy bread?"
"It acted as a sort of mini culling beam but it only worked on inorganic materials…like collapsed structures."
"This toaster removed all of the debris that trapped Adam and myself?"
"No unfortunately. It could only remove small to medium sized pieces of rubble. We got to a point where it seemed to 'fill up' for lack of a better term. Then we were left with traditional methods to get to you and Hamilton."
"Thank you Rodney. Is very considerate of you to give me device that helped rescue me and Adam." Radek carefully pats his boss' arm. Rodney grins then wanders over to the food tables to refill his plate. Sheppard shakes his head at his geek as Ronon meanders around the room before stopping at the food tables too.
"Radek, ya may wanna protect your food or it'll be gone within the next few hours."
"Colonel, I'm too happy to worry about food war between Rodney and Ronon."
"Good to hear Doc…and remember to call me John okay? Are ya havin' fun?" Radek beams happily at Atlantis' military commander.
"Is incredible John. I never would suspect such a wonderful surprise. How did you arrange this?"
"Well Radek, it was a well oiled operation. Lots of strategic planning, careful negotiations, and plenty of people power."
"Hmm…you kept Rodney out of most of the 'well oiled operation' yes?" Teyla shakes her head 'no'.
"Actually Radek, Rodney was most insistent on helping plan this 'well oiled operation'. He wanted to ensure you had 'the best birthday ever'. He had a very…detailed…plan for every step of the operation." Mr. Woolsey nods in agreement.
"Dr. McKay had several plans actually. I don't believe I've ever seen such detailed plans. However, I discouraged him from any negotiations offworld as that would've lead to disaster. I didn't want to have to clean up any misunderstandings brought on by his…enthusiasm." Radek shakes his head in amazement. He glances over at the last seen location of his boss and friend but too many staff members crowd around the food tables.
"This is true? Really? I have seen Rodney's plans for any Ancient devices we find but for a birthday party?" Radek smirks suddenly.
"Could you imagine Rodney as interior designer?" Guffaws erupt around the table. Radek grins as he continues nibbling on his birthday dinner. A good twenty minutes pass by before a hush falls over the mess hall. Sheppard snorts suddenly, Teyla snicker coughs, Carson bites his lip, Lorne titters loudly, and Woolsey outright laughs. Radek turns in his seat to see what has his colleagues and friends so amused and his jaw drops. Rodney and Ronon push a large cart toward the Czech. A huge birthday cake sits atop the cart with far too many birthday candles blazing away merrily. The two men bump shoulders a little too enthusiastically.
"Seriously Ronon, I'm not a cake pusher. Do I look like a cake mule to you?"
"Stuff it little man or you'll be eating the cart. Aren't you supposed to be singing something?"
"Like what? Oh hell no. I draw the line at The Birthday Song."
"Scared of a little song?"
"Have you heard me sing?" Ronon's eyes widen as he remembers the last time he heard McKay sing a song; screeching drennark made less impact on ear drums. Fortunately, Lt. Hamilton starts singing "Happy Birthday to You" and most of the mess hall joins in. Radek blows out the small forest of birthday candles then clears his throat.
"I am incredibly blessed. I have an extended family here in Atlantis. We may come from different countries on Earth or different worlds here in Pegasus but we have all worked hard to become a family here in Atlantis. We may not always get along but we stand together when our family is threatened. I thank you all for this party and for saving my life." Everyone raises their glass in a toast to survival and celebration. Radek grins as he cuts the massive cake and passes out countless slices to the expedition members. He raises his glass to Team Sheppard and Team Zelenka; a simple treasure hunt became a fight for survival. Atlantis may have teams comprised of scientists, military, and medical personnel but they were all family.
End