Happy Birthday, Batman
It's his birthday.
He's one year older and one day closer to death.
He leans back against the couch and closes his eyes. He smiles. No, he doesn't feel like a glass of fine red wine. And he also didn't turn on the light. He likes it in the dark. The familiar darkness is soothing and eloquent. He'd like to forget all his burdens for a while in this silent moment. He never likes family gatherings and dinners. He doesn't do chitchat and gossip. He enjoys being alone, though he's unsure if he's lonely.
Has he ever felt lonely? He has no idea. He knows he won't have any guest or company. And he has no problem or objection with that. He can use some time to clear his head and straighten his thoughts, truth be told. He has been distracted by too many trifles lately. He needs to get things back on the track. He needs to get himself back on the track. He needs to leave all the unnecessary things behind. He needs to keep moving forward. He never wants to be trapped or stuck. He's used to making changes and breakthroughs. He doesn't want to sit around doing nothing and then die.
He doesn't like having regrets and doubts, either. He knows what he wants. He takes what he needs. And he always tries his best not to hurt, to harm, or to cause damage. That's simply not his...style. But sometimes no matter how hard he tries, he falters, stumbles, and fails. He knows it's not all his fault. He has no control over other people's thoughts and feelings. And he doesn't always have control over his own life. He has to make difficult decisions from time to time. And several of his choices have already come back to haunt him.
But he has never tried to escape from his fate or make excuses for himself. He's not that kind of person. And he likes to take responsibilities. He laughs out loud at himself. He always wants to be the hero. He always wants to do the right things. Because someone has to do the jobs. And he doesn't want to run away screaming and hide. For some reason, he always needs to be the silent and better man. He needs to be sure that deep down inside he's a good and decent man.
Yeah, mentally sick and emotionally ill. Definitely.
His lips curl upward into a full-on smile. It's 00:37 in the morning. He's all alone inside his apartment on top of the RangeMan building. He has friends and family. He has desires, lusts and needs. And he has just turned 34. He's one year older and one day closer to death. He's Ricardo Carlos Manoso. He prefers people call him Ranger. Maybe he does feel a little bit lonely.
But, no, he's not complaining.