Adventures of John: The Stolen Queen
Introduction
My name is John the Adventurer. Not really. But in order to protect my identity, I usually refer to myself as such. Our world, our reality, is not the only one there is. There are an infinite number of planes of existence beyond our own, realms of myth and magic filled with all manner of beasts and creatures. There are those among us, ordinary people in all other aspects, that have a connection to one or more of these worlds. Their connection to these worlds can often give them abilities beyond those of other men, or even provide passage to these worlds. Many of these gifted individuals are unaware of their abilities.
I am one of these people, except I am aware of my gifts, and I am not merely connected to one realm, but to all of them. Because of this, I can see and speak with creatures from these realms, as well as separate my spirit from my body and use it to travel to these realms. When I am in these other worlds I can use the magic inherit in these worlds to do anything I can dream of. These are the tales of my journeys through the magical realms. These are the Adventures of John. Why am I posting my tales on a fan fiction site, you ask? Well, you wouldn't believe the people I've met.
. . . . .
Two weeks. That's how long it has been since my last "incident". That's got to be a new record for me. Ever since my first time falling into Arendelle, I seemingly haven't been able to go a minute without some world-ending catastrophe, invasion from the Southern Isles, or crazy magical portals to alternate universes messing everything up. For you reading this who are veterans of my tales, welcome back! For those of you here for the first time, we are glad to have you with us.
As many of you know, I am a legendary hero among the magical realms. I am known as John the Adventurer, the Traveler, the Champion of Spring, Terror of the Dark Realms, Hero of Infinite Universes, and a whole lot of other unnecessarily grand titles and nicknames. Here on earth however, I am simply John, an intelligent but lazy high school student. I am actually a lot older than I am, confusing as that sounds. Time works differently in the magical realms, so while I was born seventeen years ago, I have actually lived through over forty years of experiences. Strange, right? So while I live a fairly ordinary life here on earth, I travel through the magical realms, fighting the forces of darkness.
Of course, throughout these travels I have met a lot of interesting people, interesting being an incredible understatement. From the Mad Hatter, who I haven't seen for a while but I used to have tea with(which was always a bit odd because I don't drink tea), to Elphaba, the Wicked Witch of the West, who I like to consider a friend, though she does not like me very much. I am also good friends with the time-traveling, bowtie wearing alien known as the Doctor, though I have not seen him since he went off to Trenzalore. My friends also include the Winchester Brothers, the Avengers, the Justice League, and a collection of magical creatures that include a pixie named Pixie and her mother, the Queen of Spring.
But I did not just make friends in my travels. I made many enemies as well. My arch nemesis is a creature known as the Shadow Trickster, and other foes I have faced include Peter Pan(who is actually a violent psychopath in real life), the Tin Man(who really is heartless), and the frozen-hearted King Hans. And yes, you did hear me correctly. I said King Hans. That guy is a murderous sociopath.
Of course, all this craziness started when I had the stupidity to try to use a dangerous universe-rending spell to bring magic back, and then when the spell sent me to an alternate universe, I had the foolishness to fall in love. The woman I fell in love with was the beautiful Elsa, Queen of Ice and Snow. After being forced universes apart I went on a grand adventure to search for a way back to her, and when I finally returned to Arendelle we fought off an invasion. But despite all the trouble, Elsa and I were finally united, and after an eternal entity known as the Darkness almost consumed the universe and on Valentines Day the Greek goddess Aphrodite tested our love for each other, I proposed, and before long we were married, seven years after our meeting(by the altered time in her world).
Before long our happy marriage was interrupted by a swirling vortex of doom. As it turned out, this would be only the beginning of a series of events in which I was tossed about alternate universes like a hot potato between a group of elementary school students. This was all part of a master plan of a group calling themselves the Brotherhood of the Void, and after I defeated them I ended up traveling through the Void until I was in the epicenter of a war between all of the heroes of the multiverse and the Void itself. With the help of every other version of myself I was able to return the Void to its natural, non-sentient state and save all of creation.
After this adventure Elsa announced that she was pregnant. I was a bit shocked by the news, but after a bit of soul-searching and time traveling I decided that this was wonderful news. Unfortunately, our happiness was once again interrupted when the Trickster split my soul in half, and in the resulting chaos that followed, the imprisoned Hans escaped before my two halves could be reunited. A few nights later I had a vision of the future, which included many ghastly images, the most frightening of which was Elsa, heavily pregnant and screaming in pain while strapped to an altar. The day after Easter there was an alien invasion, but I was able to turn back time and make it so they never came in the first place, making me the only one to remember the whole fiasco. Now I spend half of my life living with and caring for my pregnant wife, or at least I did until this unfortunate and painful adventure happened.