This has just been sitting in my computer for months now and I decided that it is finally time to publish. Set after the Avengers, taken from Loki's POV.
Disclaimer: I do not own Marvel or any of it's characters.
I sit quietly in my cell, staring absently at the damp walls. I mean it's not like I can make a formal complaint, can I?
You see, I'm waiting for my daily torture to begin. Everyday the guards bring in a tray of the finest foods, taunting me recklessly.
A key turning in the lock gets my attention.
That time already? They are early.
The sight of his light locks makes me gag, bile rising into my mouth yet failing to leave, pushing against the restraints.
"Brother..."
How I hate him. Detest his very being.
"The guards were on their way here with a cart full of food; however I sent them on their way."
I don't see how that makes anything better.
Despite my thoughts my vision becomes blurred, the sensation bothering me; nagging deep within me.
What is this? It feels odd compared to the usual hate boiling through my blood.
Compassion? Gratefulness-
This time I don't manage to keep down the bile. It passes through the cord, blistering my skin where it buries deeper.
Vomit –mostly water- leaves my mouth, pulling a weak whine from my chest.
The small gaps in at my lips aren't enough to rid of the nastiness. No, instead I begin to choke on my own fluids, my face turning crimson.
"Loki?" Thor steps forwards, "Loki!" he began to shake my shoulders.
Thor's voice echoed through my skull.
III
I wake to see four faces above me. Odin's wife, Frigga, stands with teary eyes, cheeks red and blotched.
Why is she crying for me? I'm just another lowly frost giant, one who brought devastation to the realm of Midgard. Yet she still cries.
A heavy weight rests on my face. They must have had the decency to put on my mouth guard.
"Loki, why must you do this to yourself?" she whispers
You have all brought this among yourselves.
The three other faces looked fairly familiar; two guards and a healer.
"I've placed new stitches along your lip line, slightly tighter this time. Nothing should be able to pass through now."
"Are you sure this is the right way? How will he eat?" she asked, voice small.
The healer and guards left the room, no more words to be exchanged.
So that seals it. I'm being kept alive just to prolong my torture, their entertainment.
"Do not worry, you only have seventy two days left." Odin's wife assured me, stroking her small palm over my forehead, calming me like she used to when I was a child.
Each day represents a life I took. I've been like this for forty five days and if I behave I may get let off easily.
The more I think about it the more I wish they would just kill me. When they do I hope it is fast.
Odin's wife rises from her spot on my bed, a slight frown on her face.
"I have to go, Odin will be wondering where I am." She spoke with an awkward tone.
So she doesn't tell him that she is here, with me? Is she ashamed? I don't blame her.
She leaves me alone, as I should be.
I wonder where Thor is-
No. I don't need his help or his forgiveness. I don't need him.
I lay still on my bed waiting for him to visit, he always does.
But seconds become minutes and minutes into hours but still no sign of his return.
The door slowly opens to reveal a small guard, much smaller than my self.
"I'm here to collect you sir." He sighed.
Even though I killed innocent people in Midgard and threatened the throne I am still to be addressed as a member of the Odin's house. The thought makes me smile.
The guard leads me away, tugging roughly on my shackles.
The blank and colourless walls hurt my eyes, nothing compared to my usual dark quarters.
Seventy two days. That doesn't seam so long; no food, no water, no hygiene, nothing. I highly doubt I will last that long. It's exactly what Odin wants. Just one less mess to clean up. The end of the frost giant living in Asgard. If anyone found out about my true parentage I don't suppose it would go over too well.
The only person who accepts it is Thor – and Odin's wife. He withheld my execution by giving me this trial. If I succeed I may be given a second chance, but that outcome is very slim.
My attention is ripped back to reality when I hear the lock opening on my door. The guard leads me inside and attaches my shackles to a metal post, forcing me arms above my head and revealing my beaten body.
When I had returned from Midgard they had stripped me of my royal clothes and issued me with regular black trousers, silky yet worn, and on old olive green sleeved shirt with minimal armour, warm yet stagnant.
The guard left my cell whispering loudly, "They will see you later."
Twice in one week? That's not like them.
I sink down against the wall feeling desolate, vengeful and even a little distressed as I wait for my visitor.
Every time footsteps sound outside I flinch back against the wall, eyes shut tight. Usually most just disappear down the halls. With each passing being my heart begins to race, threatening to give out at any second.
Suddenly after nearly an hour of peace, heavy strides fill my ears.
Oh Odin why? Why must you punish me like this? The happiness you must earn from my aching...
This time I open my eyes wide and lean forward, preparing myself.
His steady blue gaze meets with mine, a sullen expression on his face.
Thor?
"Brother," he steps forward, closing the metal door behind himself, "I sent oncoming guards away-"
You don't understand how thankful I am. Tender tears fill my eyes, warming my cheeks.
Thor notices the change in my expression and kneels before me, "Do you want me to take this off?" his fingers pad lightly on my muzzle.
I nod slowly, allowing him to unbuckle the clad of metal. A large weight is lifted from my face revealing my twisted mouth. Thor's face screws up into an expression of anguish, wincing slightly. The new stitches must look worse than the last, they are definitely tighter. His large fingers brush ever so lightly over my cheek, careful as not to hurt me any further. Thor touches my flesh as you would a glass bird, hesitant as not to break it any more than it already is.
"Loki..." he turns away, the atmosphere turning bitter.
I lower my head, ashamed.
"Why must father do this to you? His own son!"
Does he not know? I'm Laufeyson not Odinson. What has Odin been telling him, Lies?
I raise my stare to meet his, speechless. My face is baffled, I am utterly annoyed.
Why would Odin keep this from Thor? What good will it bring?
"Why do you look so confused brother?"
Why are you asking me? It's not like I can reply!
"Is it something I have said?"
You fool!
I turn away and close my eyes, trying to block out his presence. I think back to my rule in Asgard, in Midgard. The freedom, the authority! They way the humans cried in horror, their terror stricken faces-
A smile unfolds from beneath the stitches, a low chuckle sounds in my throat.
Thor processes the smile and frowns, "Stop that." He sighs.
My attention focused on his tone, scornful, pitiful and empty. He has obviously not grown used to my thought pattern.
"You need to stop all of these selfish and evil thoughts," he rose from the ground," your reign is long over."
His brows knit together into a single line, a deep frown leaving creases in his skin. Blue eyes meet with mine, annoyance surrounding them. He turns his face from me, sickened.
"You make it so hard to care at all, you confuse me to no end!" his voice loud and stern, "Goodbye."
Thor leaves the room, leaving me to continue waiting.
The guards arrived not long after, wild smiles and laughter escaped them.
"And you thought you had escaped."
They stripped me of my clothes... and my dignity.
III
I lie on the cold floor, dazed and numb from the experience. My clothes are torn and scattered around my, the only proof of my existence.
As the guards leave my cell one calls back to me, "Enjoy your new privileges!"
What, a free roam around my bedroom and a nice view of Asgard from my window? That was what I have succumbed to?
Sickness and regret passes through my body like waves of terror, causing my eyes to widen and flinch continuously. I do not deserve this. I deserve a quick and early death, that's all I want, thus why they won't give it to me.
My pale eyes wander across the room; maybe these privileges won't be so bad. It has to be better that being chained to a wall all day.
I claw my way up the nearby wall, fingernails digging deep into the interior. My bone crack and my muscles ache, vague burning ripples throughout my core.
I finally reach my destination; the window.
I let out a breath of relief as I look over the Asgardian skyline. It really is beautiful, no matter how much you try to hate it. No matter how much you try to hate the people who live there you can't, not really.
I despise them all, yes, but hate... is a very strong word. Not everyone is bad.
Frigga, I would never wish for anything to harm her, she is my mother and I can't see it any other way. Sif, I may hate the fact that she looks down on me, see's me beneath her puny self... but I would never force her into death. Then there's Thor. Innocent, arrogant, yet aggressive Thor. No longer my brother, no matter how he sees it. It doesn't faze me how close we were as children, that is all in the past now. I'm tired of people stepping all over me, it drains my very soul. Thor will never understand. He doesn't see the way other people view me, the way that they label me a monster. He presumes that every being expresses the same emotion towards a person that he himself does, it's foolish! Either that of he refuses to see other people perspective, the stubborn mess!
I glare tirelessly at the skyline, Odin's palace in the near distance. Now, that is one being I honestly do hate with every bone inside my body. The sound of his name strikes fear into my blood, causing the hairs on my neck to stand on end. Just this angers me, the fact that someone like him can pull this fear out of me.
A serious frown folds deep into my skin, my whole body feeling dark.
Something has to be done, I have to get out of here.
Thanks for reading, please review and tell me what you think!