one-shot; cause everything is new, and everything is you
fandom: law & order: svu
pairing: rafael barba/olivia benson
word count: 6219 words
note: Written for scintillateworld for the thebarsondaily's Secret Santa Exchange on tumblr. Merry Christmas and happy holidays, everyone!

begin

"This is really shaping up to be a white, cold, dreary Christmas," Barba grumbled, shivering a little and grabbing his coffee from the barista. He took a long sip out of it, and sighed, his breath escaping in wisps.

Liv handed money to the barista and retrieved her own coffee, looking at him with a raised eyebrow. "Really, Barba? I could've sworn you had been living New York for the past four years. How on earth are you complaining about snowfall now?"

"I'm not complaining. I am merely making an observation."

"Yes, that's what all the cantankerous complainers say," she threw him a sideway smirk as they began walking towards the precinct.

"Play nice now, Lieutenant, you still need me for all those absurd warrants and paper thin cases that you are so fond of," he drawled, taking another drink of his coffee.

"Oh, you're right, I so need you for…." Liv broke off her sentence and stopped in front of a shop, her attention drawn to the display window. Barba slowed his steps and stood beside her, his eyes following hers to an intricate music box. It was a carved wooden box, with designs of flowers and leaves etched upon the wood, opened up to reveal a small, graceful porcelain ballerina fixed in a pirouette pose.

She stared at the music box, her gaze almost transfixed as she rested her hand against the glass. "Are you about to tell me that you collect music boxes?" Barba asked, draining the last of his coffee and tossing the cup into a nearby recycling bin with a smooth flick.

"I used to have one that looked almost exactly like that. One of the very few presents my mother ever bought me," she explained wryly, turning away from the shop window. "But it broke a long time ago."

He looked at her carefully, and then he stepped towards the door of the shop. "Well, no time like the present to replace it, then."

"No, Barba, wait," she placed her hand on his upper arm, stopping him. "I don't need it replaced. It's just a sentimental, frivolous thing, anyway."

"If you insist," he shrugged, as they continued walking. But he couldn't help noticing that she looked back more than once, and the expression on her face was one that he could read perfectly well. The music box that she once had obviously meant a lot to her, but Liv, being typical Liv, was determined to keep the past at bay.

"I need you all to work with me," Barba stode into the precinct, setting his briefcase down with a thump on top of Carisi's desk as he shrugged out of his winter overcoat.

Amanda and Carisi looked up from their task of hanging more ornaments on the Christmas tree, and then they turned their attention back to the tree, pretending to be completely engrossed. Fin developed a sudden interest in his paperwork, swivelling back in his chair and staring at the reports intently.

"Maybe if we ignore him, the Grinch will go away," Carisi stage-whispered to Amanda.

"I think Barba's more of a Scrooge type, with those fancy-ass suits," Fin interjected.

"Oh, haha, I supposed you all think you're hilarious, but…"

"Barba, it's Christmas Eve tomorrow," Liv interrupted, walking out from her office.

"So?" he said briskly. "The work doesn't stop. You know that we have a trial coming up on the 27th of December."

She leaned back against Fin's desk, crossing her arms. "That case is air-tight. And we've gone through the prep numerous times, the witnesses are more than ready. In fact, I am waiting for Calhoun to call you asking for a plea deal."

"I'm glad you're so confident, because I'm not," Barba said crisply, and turned towards Carisi. "Carisi! I need to walk you through your statement again. For tomorrow…"

"Sorry, Counselor. I already applied for leave, and Lieu's already approved it. We're driving up to Staten Island to spend the Christmas weekend with my family."

"We?" Fin asked, a note of suspicion in his voice as he looked towards Amanda, who was suddenly very preoccupied with tweaking the wings of an angel ornament.

"Yeah, Amanda, Jesse and I. Oh, and Frannie," Carisi said cheerfully, oblivious to Amanda shooting daggers at him.

"Carisi!" She hissed, her teeth gritted.

"What? Oh come on, it's okay, they're all cool. Anyway, we are planning going to disclose after…ouch!" He winced as she stomped on his foot with her boot heel.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that for now," Liv commented, tapping her pen against the table. "Put in all the paperwork you need to put in, and we'll be fine."

"Thanks, Liv," Amanda muttered as Carisi grinned goofily. Fin, meanwhile, sidled up to Carisi, a menacing frown on his face.

"You want the talk now, or later?"

"People!" Barba snapped. "Can you please concentrate? I am so happy for you that love is in the air, blah blah yadda, but fact remains is that I need…"

"Barba, let it go," Liv interjected wearily. "It's Christmas. We'll all come together on the morning of the trial, okay?"

"Well, just remember I am not to blame if it all goes to hell," he griped.

She sighed audibly. "Fine. Come by my apartment tomorrow morning around ten o'clock, I'll go through some of the statements you are concerned about."

"Your apartment? Why can't we meet at your office or mine?"

Liv shot him a disbelieving look. "Barba, I repeat, it's Christmas Eve. I am on leave. For that matter, why aren't you?"

He lifted his shoulders in a nonchalant shrug. "Because I have work to do?"

She shook her head. "Barba, for God's sake, give yourself a break. And give us a break."

"I'll remember you said that the next time you want me to prosecute a case with no basis or ground."

Liv smacked him on the arm with the file she was holding. "Get out of here. Your Grinch-ness is putting everyone off."

"Ten o'clock, Olivia!" he called, as he sidled out of the precinct.

"Dude doesn't have a life," Fin remarked, shaking his head.

It was Christmas Eve, and the snow was whipping itself into a frenzy. Liv frowned at the weather alert on her phone – a snow storm was imminent and New Yorkers were advised to stay indoors. She was about to call Barba to cancel when her doorbell rang. She opened the door to reveal Barba, snow in his hair and on his winter coat, carrying his briefcase in one hand and a shopping bag in his other hand. He stepped into the warmth gratefully, after shaking off the remnants of snow in the hallway.

"It's murder out there. I'm glad I got here in one piece," he said, unbuttoning his coat and hanging it up on the coat rack by the door. Liv made a clicking noise with her tongue as she saw that he was in his usual immaculate three-piece suit.

"Rafael, are you really going back to the office after this?" She asked, his first name rolling easily off her tongue in the non-work setting.

"Yes, of course. I have paperwork to catch up on."

She waved him through to the living room, where her own files were piled on the coffee table. "Paperwork, shcmaperwork. It's Christmas Eve."

"Schmaperwork? Does utter desecration of the English language comes with Christmas Eve?"

"Oh, you're in a good mood today," she observed, walking into the kitchen and putting the coffee machine on.

"Only around you, Lieutenant," he smirked, taking off his suit jacket and draping it over her armchair, following her into the kitchen. Noah was sitting his chair, spooning Cheerios into his mouth. He looked up and waved his spoon at the lawyer.

"Baba!" the little boy said happily.

"Hey, amigo," he said, running his hand briefly over the top of Noah's head. He wasn't as awkward and uncomfortable around Noah as he used to be in the beginning, but he was still a little unsure of himself. After all, children had never been his forte, by any means.

"Cheerio?" Noah asked, holding out a piece of cereal. Barba laughed and took it from him, nodding. Liv observed them with a small smile on her face. She couldn't help but remember the first time Barba held Noah, as if her son was a ticking time bomb.

"Please tell me you at least have dinner plans with your mother tonight," she called out over the grinding of the coffee machine.

"What is this, an interrogation?" Barba groused. "And yes, I'm heading to her place after I'm finished with the work day."

"Just making sure my ADA has some degree of a work-life balance," she returned cheerfully, handing him his mug of coffee.

He took a grateful sip, wandering out to her living room. "Well, let's get started then, so I can get out of here and let you have your time with Noah."

"You know that you're always welcome here," she said, sitting down beside him. Barba turned to look at her, his eyes meeting hers, and he gave her a small smile.

"I know."

"Are you honestly worried about Carisi's testimony?"

They had been working for close to two hours, and was about to finish going through the final set of statements.

Barba shrugged. "Mildly. He tends to get a little carried away at times, as you and I both know, especially since the case involved a woman close to his sisters' ages."

"I believe he'll be fine," Liv said reassuringly, gathering up her files. She looked out of the window, and did a double take. "Whoa."

They had been so preoccupied with their work that they didn't notice what was going on in the outside world.

And a snowstorm was raging in the outside world.

"Fu…shucks," he amended hastily, shooting a look at Noah, who was putting together something with Lego blocks in his play corner in the living room. Liv was scrolling through her phone, pursuing the news and weather alerts.

"Snowstorm," she sighed. "New Yorkers advised to stay indoors, and to seek shelter immediately if you're outdoors."

"Of all days…Mother Nature has a weird sense of humour," he observed dryly.

"Well, I guess you're stuck with us in the meantime, until this storm dies down. Weather alert puts it at lasting for approximately three hours, so you will still be able to make Christmas Eve dinner with your mother."

Barba cursed softly under his breath, rubbing his hand on the back of his neck. "Well, it doesn't look like I have much of a choice in the matter now, do I?"

"Nope, you're out of options."

He gestured towards the paperwork. "Shall we continue working, then?"

She gaped at him, and then she laughed. "No. No more work, Rafael. It's lunchtime, and I'm going make turkey sandwiches for everyone. And then it's Noah's playtime with Mama Benson, and you will be part of it."

"Liv, come on. Can't I just hibernate in a corner of your apartment and continue working? You know I'm not good with children," he protested.

"Well today, Counselor, you learn."

"Snap!" Noah shouted out in glee, and then he grabbed all of Barba's cards, giggling to himself. "I won!"

"So you did, amigo," Barba sat back and sighed, shaking his head. "Soundly beaten by a four-year-old. Please don't tell anyone about this, Liv, I have a reputation to maintain."

"Don't feel too bad, Rafael. Noah is a champion at Snap. I lose to him regularly, it's not just you," she teased, gathering up the cards. "Well, baby, it's time for your nap."

"No! Want play with Baba!" Noah dashed to Barba's side and sat beside him, tugging his arm. "Baba, play puzzle with me."

He looked at the little boy, who was looking up at him with wide, hopeful eyes, and a mix of emotions rushed through him. Never had a child looked at him, or wanted attention from him that way. It was strangely wonderful.

"You must do what your Mummy says," he said, ruffling Noah's hair in an affectionate manner. "But I'll play with you again some other time, okay?"

"Okay!" Noah said cheerily, relinquishing his hold on Barba's arm and taking Liv's outstretched hand.

Barba watched them disappearing into Noah's room, and then he got up and stacked the empty plates together, and collected the mugs. Putting them in the sink, he rolled up the sleeves of his shirt, and turned the tap on, making quick work of the plates, cutlery and mugs. He was rinsing the last plate when Liv came out of Noah's room.

"That was quick," he remarked, putting the plate on dishrack.

"He's actually quite tired, so it didn't take much for him to fall asleep," she explained, grabbing a clean mug and filling it with water. "Thanks for doing the dishes, by the way."

He nodded, and then he looked out of the window. The storm was still raging, sheets of snow swirling and blanketing the whole of New York. He checked his watch – it was just past three o'clock in the afternoon, although the dark skies outside seemed to suggest otherwise.

"Do you think I'll be able to make dinner with my mother?" He asked, still looking at the snowfall outside.

She took out her phone and scrolled through it, wincing a little. "Weather alert seems to suggest this will last for another few hours, contrary to what they said a couple of hours ago. Maybe you should call your mother," she said tentatively.

Barba sighed, and retrieved his phone from his pocket. He tapped on his mother's number, and then waited.

"Mamì, it's Rafi. Lo siento mucho, but I can't make it for Christmas Eve dinner tonight. It's the storm…sí, I'm indoors, so I'm safe…no, not at the office…I'm with Liv…yes, Lieutenant Benson…qué? No, at her apartment…"

He listened to his mother, brow wrinkled, and then a strange expression came over his face. "¿Qué? Por favor, Mamì…" he looked over to Liv, who was obviously listening in, but pretending not to. He lowered his voice, and rattled off a stream of Spanish. He then ended the call with another round of reassurances to his mother, and then he turned to Liv, a look of mock disapproval on his face. "Very unbecoming of you to eavesdrop, Liv."

She shrugged. "Hey, you were loud. I have ears."

Barba gave a bark of laughter and put down his phone, taking a drink of water. A comfortable silence settled between them, but Liv noticed that his brow was furrowed as he continued looking out of the window.

"Hey, are you okay?"

He gave a small start, and then turned to her. "Yes…it's just that...well, this year is the first Christmas without abuelita…and it just doesn't feel right. And it feels even worse now that I know my mother will be by herself."

She said nothing, but she patted his shoulder in a comforting manner, and he smiled at her gratefully. "You know how it is with me…I don't have a lot of people around me. Families and fathers are overrated. But my mother is everything to me, especially since after we lost abuelita."

He stopped, suddenly feeling vulnerable. Liv was probably the person that knew him the best after Lucia, but even so, he had never spoken so openly to her before. He cleared his throat, and tried to bring the conversation and the mood back to a safer ground. "So, it looks like I'm crashing in on your Christmas Eve dinner with Noah."

She smirked at him, bumping his shoulder lightly with his. "Well, I guess we could accommodate you somehow, Rafael."

"Well, there's a couple more hours to dinner, so shall we continue…"

"If you're going to suggest to me that we keep working, I'm going to kick you out to the storm," Liv warned.

"Then what do you want to do?" Barba huffed. "There's actually very little we could do, and working is the most constructive thing to do."

"As per my own Christmas Eve tradition, you are going to watch Love Actually with me," she said, grabbing him by the wrist and dragging him to the living room. The look of horror on his face made her burst out into giggles.

"Olivia, no."

"My place, my rules," she said mischievously.

He groaned, burying his face in his hands.

"That wasn't so bad now, was it?" Liv asked, as the credits rolled.

Barba sat up straighter, and stretched. "It was every bit as awful as I thought it would be."

Liv frowned and swatted him on the arm as he laughed. "Fine, it wasn't that bad. But I did think the only arc that I found meaningful was the one with the dad and the stepson."

"You do not have a single romantic bone in your body, do you, Barba?"

"On the contrary, Liv, you'll find that I can be very romantic when I want to be," he drawled.

"Oh? So, am I going to be finding that out anytime soon?" As soon as the words left her mouth, she realised what she had said, and she flushed in embarrassment. She looked at him, and he was looking back at her steadily. Something flickered across his face, and he was about to speak when Noah pipped up from the couch. The toddler had woken up from his nap half an hour ago, and had joined them for the movie, although he was mostly preoccupied with his picture book of farm animals.

"Mummy, I'm hungry!"

Liv coughed and tore her gaze away from Barba's, ruffling her son's hair affectionately. "Sure, baby, do you want a banana?"

He followed Liv silently into the kitchen as she peeled a banana and chopped it up into small pieces, putting them into a bowl for Noah.

"Rafael, would you mind watching Noah while I prepare our Christmas Eve dinner?" she asked, opening the fridge and putting some tomatoes on the kitchen counter.

He eyed Noah warily. "Do you trust me with him? I mean, I could cook instead," he suggested.

"I'll trust you with anything. You know that." Her words were casual but her tone was not. And then she smiled impishly. "But I don't trust you in my kitchen."

"I take offense in that, Liv. I'll have you know that I can cook."

"Well, the kitchen is my domain tonight, so shoo, get out of here. I'll come and get you and Noah when dinner is ready."

Smiling, he turned to Noah, looking at the little boy apprehensively. "So, amigo, how about that puzzle?"

Liv put down the salad bowl in the middle of the table, and took a step back, surveying her work. It was a fairly simple meal – macaroni and cheese for Noah, and seafood marina for her and Barba, with a salad and roast vegetables as sides. The red and green placemats finished the Christmassy setting. She retrieved Noah's organic apple juice from the fridge, and then put out a bottle of her favourite red wine, and scotch for Barba.

She took off her apron, and wandered out the living room, hearing Noah's laughter. She stopped for a while, watching the scene before her.

Barba was standing up, reading from one of Noah's favourite books in a very theatrical manner, complete with voices and huge hand gestures. Noah was sitting on the couch, in a fit of giggles as Barba put on a growly wolf-like voice.

"And then he JUMPED!" He said dramatically, and then scooped Noah up, lifting him high as Noah squealed in laughter.

Barba was the last person she would ever expect to put any heart into interacting with her son, and yet there he was, one arm around the toddler as they collapsed onto the couch, laughing.

Watching them, Liv felt her heart warmed. Noah never really had a father figure in his life. Tucker was kind to him, but he didn't particularly put a lot of effort into building a relationship with him, which was one of the main reasons she had ended it.

She caught herself in mid-thought. Was she actually thinking of Barba as a father figure for Noah? Yes, she was attracted to him, she had always been attracted to him, if she could be honest to herself, but he was her best friend, and there were some things that she would not jeopardise. She shook her head a little, trying to clear her head.

"Dinner's ready," she announced, and both of them looked up.

"Dinner!" Noah shouted, jumping up from the couch and sprinting towards the dining area, taking his seat promptly.

Barba pushed up the sleeves of his shirt further, and approached her, still smiling. She nudged him playfully. "See, I told you you'll be fine. I wished I had taken a video of you pretending to be a wolf. That was golden blackmail material."

A look of mock dismay crossed his face. "Seriously, Liv? That's your idea of thanking me for babysitting? Blackmail?"

"Hey, if it gets me the warrants I want…"

He rolled his eyes comically, and then he looked towards Noah. "He's a great kid, Liv. And he's very lucky to have you."

"It goes both ways. I'm very lucky to have him, too" she countered. "Well, enough talk. Let's eat!" She gestured towards the food. "Your Christmas Eve dinner is served, Counselor."

He took his seat, draping his napkin over his lap, taking a sip of scotch she had poured out for him. "This looks great."

"It's nothing fancy. I hope it meets your standards," she teased, pouring herself a glass of red wine.

He raised his glass to her. "Merry Christmas, Liv. Thanks for including me in your family dinner."

"Mother Nature's invitation, more of," she said, glancing out of the window, where the snowstorm was still blowing through. "But that being said, I'm sorry you had to miss Christmas Eve with your mother, but I'm glad you're here with us," she said simply.

They exchanged smiles, and then slowly, Barba stretched out his hand a little. Noah, however, chose that moment to happily dump macaroni and cheese all over the table.

"Noah!" Liv said scoldingly, as she grabbed a tablecloth.

"Sorry, Mummy," the little boy said meekly, rubbing his hand on his face, and smearing cheese and cream all over his face.

Barba shook his head. "You are a very messy eater, amigo."

Liv rinsed the tablecloth and settled back in her seat, watching as Barba took his napkin and leaned across the table, and carefully cleaned Noah's face.

"Thank you, Baba," Noah said, in a very grown-up tone, and Barba chuckled amusedly.

"Try to keep the food on the plate and in your tummy, okay?" He said playfully, as he sat back down.

"Okay!" The toddler said agreeably, and carefully spooned a mouthful of macaroni into his mouth. Liv smoothed down Noah's hair and watched as Barba poured Noah a cup of apple juice, and dug into his pasta. She took a sip of her wine and scooped some salad onto her plate, thinking to herself that the dinner table looked and felt like a complete family of three.

Even if it could never become reality, it was nice to pretend, for just a brief moment.

Barba stared out of the window. The snow was still coming down fast and hard, and it was already close to nine o'clock at night. He had an uncomfortable feeling that he may have to spend the night at Liv's apartment…and he didn't quite know what to think of that.

It had been a wonderful day, barring the fact that he was essentially trapped in her apartment because of the weather. Sure, they had spent time together outside of work, with their numerous coffee breaks and late night dinners, but rarely had it been like this, where they had watched a movie, played with her son, and had dinner together, and had not breathe a single word of work after those initial couple of hours in the morning.

It felt like approaching new and dangerous territory, and if he could be honest, he wanted to cross over that threshold, but he wasn't sure she wanted to.

"Noah's asleep," he heard Liv's voice behind him, and he turned around. She had changed out of her casual blouse and jeans, and into an oversized sweater and leggings. She pushed a hand through her hair, and gestured towards the window.

"Urm…I don't think you're going to able to get out of here tonight…so…anyway, the sofa folds out to a bed. I'll get you some pillows and a blanket."

"Thanks, Liv," he said, not without a hint of awkwardness.

"I still have some old clothes of Nick's that he left behind and never picked up, from the time he camped out at my apartment. If you don't mind, you can take a shower, and wear his clothes for bed."

He wrinkled his nose distastefully. "Amaro's clothes?"

"I'm not about to offer you my clothes," she pointed out.

"Why not? I might fit into your clothes."

She narrowed her eyes. "Rafael Barba, what are you trying to imply?"

"Well…we're almost the same height, and…"

"Not nearly the same width."

"Olivia Benson, are you calling me fat?"

"God, Barba, don't be so sensitive," she laughed, raising her hand to playfully smack him on the shoulder. He caught her hand before she could, fingers curling around her wrist.

Her laughter died on her lips as she raised her eyes to his. His gaze on hers was intent, as his thumb slowly stroked the inside of her wrist. She felt her breath catch as he leaned in towards her, his other hand hovering at the curve of her hip.

He was so close…and then there was an almighty howl of wind, and the entire apartment plunged into darkness.

They jumped apart, and then Liv immediately took out her phone, switching on the flashlight app. "Noah," she said, running towards her son's room, Barba close behind her.

To their surprise, Noah had barely stirred. He remained asleep, his breathing even, oblivious to the blackout. Liv sighed in relief, touching his head gently, and then she carefully re-tucked the blankets around him.

"He's okay?" Barba asked quietly.

"Yes," she affirmed, closing the door quietly. "He's quite a sound sleeper, so with any luck, this won't affect him too much."

He nodded, and then an awkward silence settled between them, both of them clearly thinking about what had almost transpired before the blackout. She spoke first, walking ahead of him. "I'm just going get a couple of flashlights and some candles…I think you'll have to forgo your shower, but Nick's clothes are still on offer."

"Choices are obviously not my friends today."

Liv spread out the quilt and an extra blanket, and two pillows on the sofa, shivering a little. Thankfully, she had a spare little portable gas heater, so Noah's room was still comfortably warm. However, the rest of the apartment was getting colder as the remnants from central heating gradually left the space. It was going to be a very uncomfortable night indeed, if the power didn't come back on soon.

Barba emerged from the main bathroom, dressed in a sweatshirt that said "Property of NYPD" that was just a size too large for him, and sweatpants. The disgruntled expression on his face spoke volumes of dissatisfaction, and Liv couldn't help laughing.

"I'm glad someone is amused," he grumbled.

"I have all your bedding out for you. Sorry, it's going to kind of freezing cold tonight," she said apologetically.

"This is why all apartments should have proper fireplaces. Like my apartment," he sniffed.

"Are you in the mood for a lecture on environmental conservation and fire hazards?"

He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, and sat down on the sofa, shaking out the blanket and wrapping himself with it.

It was getting late, and there wasn't any reason for her to stay out there with him any longer. "Well…I'm going to my room. Yell if you need anything. Good night, Rafael."

The corner of his mouth lifted in a small smile as he grabbed one of the pillow. "Good night, Liv. And…thanks."

It was really getting kind of cold.

Liv had a blanket and a quilt, and still the air in the room was unnervingly chilly. She sat up with a huff, drawing her blankets around her, and then she thought of Barba in the living room. He must be freezing as well.

Gathering the blankets, she got out of bed, shivering, and quickly went to Noah's room to check on him. He was still asleep, his little room warm, and for a moment, she thought about camping out in his room. But it seemed rather cruel when she thought of Barba, and Noah's room was not big enough to squeeze two more adults in. Besides, they would then take away some of the heat.

She then walked out to the living room. In the flickering candle light, she could see a Barba-shaped figure under the blankets and quilt.

"Rafael? Are you awake?" she called out softly, and a grunt emitted from the lump on the sofa, and then his head emerged.

"I am…it's too fucking cold to sleep. Not that it's your fault, of course," he amended hastily, looking a bit guilty, least that she thought he was being ungrateful.

"Well…I have an idea. We could just share all the blankets. If you're all right with that."

"Lieutenant Benson…are you suggesting that we sleep together?" he smirked, as Liv glared at him. "…bad joke?"

"Very bad," she confirmed, sitting down next to him and arranging her blankets, so that they were now sharing two blankets and two quilts. She glanced at the coffee table, and was unsurprised to see the scotch there, along with a glass.

"Alcohol helps," he said, following her gaze.

"I know, I'm not begrudging you for…" before she could finish her sentence, she was overcome by a loud sneeze, and a subsequent sneezing fit. As she tried to recover, she felt an arm around her shoulder, and then she was pulled close to his side.

"If our intention is to share warmth and heat, I believe this is scientifically proven to be the better idea," he said reasonably, wrapping his other arm around her, pressing her face against his shoulder.

She could smell the spicy scent of his aftershave, and his arms around her were very comfortable and very warm. Hesitantly, she draped her arm across his waist, and pressed herself a little closer to him, sighing a little as the chill in her bones lessened.

Barba pulled the blankets up a little more to cover them completely, as he shifted his body a little. He rubbed his hand up and down Liv's back, hoping to warm her up. She shivered, her arms tightening around his waist as she slipped her leg between his. He felt himself tensing up at her proximity, and then he tried to relax, focusing on the need for warmth.

Her hand travelled up from his waist to encircle themselves around his back as she shifted herself closer to him, her face pressed against the crook of his neck, her breath tickling against his skin.

He could feel her heartbeat thrumming against his chest, and he was pretty sure she could feel his, too. They were close to crossing over the line. He could choose to cross it first.

She lifted her face, and looked at him, nibbling her bottom lip. "Rafael, promise me that this is not going to make things completely weird between us."

"Come on, Liv. These are unusual circumstances, I'm pretty sure we can be adult about this," he pointed out.

"Oh, good," she said, with a sigh of relief as she hooked her legs around his, shivering.

"But this may make things a bit weird…so please tell me that I'm not going to regret this."

"What…" she began, but she was cut off as his lips landed upon hers.

His kiss was firm, but gentle, almost as if he was asking for permission. She was so taken aback that she didn't even know how to respond, but when he began to pull back – ostensibly to apologise, maybe – she reacted, kissing him back, gliding her lips over his, her hands sliding up his back to entangle themselves in his hair.

He increased the intensity of their kiss, nipping at her bottom lip, and she let him in, gasping a little as his tongue slide against hers in a sensuous dance.

They fell back on the sofa in a tangle of blankets, legs, hands and lips, as she settled herself on top of him, never lifting her mouth from his. His hands were skating down the sides of her body to grip her hips as he explored the caverns of her mouth. She tasted sweet and intoxicating, and it was driving him heady with desire.

She had forgotten about the cold, as Barba's lips travelled down the side of her neck, his hands warm on the skin of her back under her sweatshirt. She moaned as he sucked on a sensitive spot on her neck below her ear, craving more of his touch and his kisses.

His mouth found hers again, and they were kissing again, heatedly, passionately, hands roaming over each other's bodies, when the lights snapped on.

The sudden glare of lights made them both jump apart, breathing heavily. They looked at each other, and then Liv averted her gaze, adjusting her sweatshirt, not quite knowing what to say, or what to do. And the lights were just making everything even more awkward.

"…so tell me, Liv, was I supposed to regret that?" he asked, his voice steady.

She looked up at him, and it was obviously he was trying to keep his face stoic, but because she knew him well, knew him so well, she could see his vulnerability. He was putting himself out there, throwing caution to the wind, because he wanted her.

No, he wasn't supposed to regret that. And neither was she.

Slowly, she scooted closer to him, and placed her hands on his face, drawing him close, and kissing him tenderly. "No, you're not."

She could feel him smiling against her mouth, as he tugged her towards him. The wall clock in the apartment started chiming softly, signalling that it was midnight.

"It's Christmas," Barba murmured, resting his forehead against Liv's.

"Merry Christmas, Counselor," she smiled, running her fingers through his hair.

"I have a present for you, actually," he stood up, reluctantly letting go of her, and then grabbed the shopping bag that he had brought with him earlier in the day. He drew out a wrapped box from it, and handed it to her.

"What a coincidence, because I have something for you, too," she grinned, reaching underneath the coffee table and pulled out a flat, beribboned box.

"Since it's Christmas already…" he carefully peeled off the tape of the wrapping paper, opening the box to reveal a small, leather bound album. He opened it, and was almost rendered speechless, for it was a carefully crafted scrapbook with photos of him, his abuelita and his mother.

"I hope you don't mind…but I took the liberty of asking your mother for some photos to make this for you. Since I can't exactly afford a two-thousand dollar suit, so…" the rest of her sentence was lost as he kissed her.

"I couldn't ask for anything better," he said, pulling back after a long moment. "Now you should open your present."

She undid the ribbons and wrapping, and lifted the lid box to see the music box she was looking at several days before.

"I know that the one you broke really meant a lot to you. I could tell. I couldn't give you the exact same one, of course, but I hope this would do."

Liv wound up the music box, and watched as the little porcelain ballerina danced and spun. "It did mean a lot to me…but today is not the day for that story."

"But you will tell me someday?"

"Someday," she promised.

Outside, the snowstorm was finally over, and it was eerily quiet and peaceful.

"So, are you kicking me out, or can I still stay?" he asked, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear.

"Oh, I think you can stay," she said impishly, and he laughed, drawing her closer to kiss her slowly and lazily.

"Liv," he said, his tone suddenly serious. "I'm here for the long haul. For everything. I want you to know that – no, I need you to know that."

Looking at him, looking into his eyes, she could see herself in them, and so she believed him, believed in them, and believed in everything else. She wrapped her arms around him, taking his words in. "I do know that."

"Maybe Carisi and Rollins won't be the only ones submitting a certain kind of paperwork after the holidays," he smirked.

"You know what? I think you're right."

And then she kissed him, and it was for the keeps.

end