The Depressing Realit of Christmas - You'll never come back

by viv-heart

Christmas isn't merry for everyone. Let's not pretend otherwise. Sometimes you can't help yourself but to hate the holiday as it reminds you of all the things you have lost. But sometimes reminding yourself that you aren't alone with your feelings helps. Stay strong. With Love, your personal Grinch Part 3, Warnings: Canon character death, alcoholism, depression

1. Severus 2

This part of the series will deal with the first Christmas after the loss of somebody close.

Enjoy and please review

Severus 2 – after Lily's death

Severus was sitting in a dark empty room, all alone. His only companion was the half-full bottle of Odgen's Firewhiskey in his hand from which he drank occasionally.

Almost two months had passed since her death. Two months since the Dark Lord's fall at the hands of her son. Who had survived! Who had fucking survived!
Severus drank from the bottle. He needed the alcohol. He had no idea what he would do otherwise. It was Christmas Eve. The first Christmas without Lily. Sure, they weren't on speaking terms for a while now, but she had been alive. She had lived. And now? Now she was dead thanks to him! He hadn't been able to save her! It was all his fault!

Severus didn't bother to stop the tears. Nobody would see them anyway. Nobody would look for him. At least nobody who mattered. He didn't care about Dumbledore or Lucius. They could both suck it. They didn't matter.

The only one who mattered was Lily. And she was dead. DEAD!

Severus wished away the tears and stood up carefully. Everything was spinning. He decided to go and look at her childhood home. He knew she wouldn't be there, but if he was lucky maybe she would. He hoped she would. He would kill to see her again. And apologise.