Maximum Torture

Maybe Fang was right, (I still can't believe I'm admitting this...) In his letter that he left, which feels so long ago. He had written that it was his hardest decision he'd ever made- leaving us. Us, as in the flock. I know everyone else felt a little down about him leaving, but I couldn't take any of it.

For weeks all I did was cry. Yes, me, Maximum Ride, was crying. I would try to hold them back, but the tears won. Everyone was worried about me, and I hated it. My mom was even worried and the flock had to go to her house. I loved being with my mom and Ella, but its like I couldn't show it. Every attempted smile came out as a grimace, and every laugh was pain filled. After a while, I just gave up on the act. I didn't know if Fang did, but I still loved him.

Then, we all got the pleasure of seeing him again with my clone, 'Maya'. It was as if I never existed. Or, that Maya was me. The video he downloaded on his blog, it was him and her, acting just as we did before everything got complicated. Of coarse things got complicated, its me we're talking about. I thought that maybe we could just try to talk and work it out, but when I tried, everything came out. And I mean everything. Then, he left me- again. He was right from his letter.

Leaving the flock might have been the hardest thing he'd done, maybe not. He was right about only wanting to go through it once- Leaving again, that is. But what he wasn't right about was writing he could never say no to me. He said no to a lot of things. Maybe not actually conversational, but I knew he knew what I meant by every little thing I did. We had always been like that. He could just- tell. He knew I wanted to talk, he knew I wanted to try and make things work, he knew I'd never want Dylan, just like he knew I still loved him desperately. And yet, through all of this, he ignored it. He ignored me.

Even after I was devastated by Angels disappearance, he left me. I knew I had the rest of the flock, but what he also knew was that I hated them seeing their leader like this. He knew I confided in him, and only him about things like this. If I didn't know what to do, didn't have a plan, things I didn't understand, he was there for me. Except then. He left, and I didn't understand. Yeah sure, now he was a leader of a team, but, what happened to us? I know for a fact that any other day he would have dropped it to help.

This was Angel, mostly, but also me. He loved Angel, and though it still hurts to think this- he loved me too. More than just someone to have his back in battle, more than a friend or family member. He loved me. But, we just seemed distant then. But, I remember everything. Everything that was going on inside my head, every feeling I experienced, and everything I wanted to.

That week when we went home to my moms, everyone was still gone. My mom, Jeb, and Ella were still gone. I wondered where they were, and I felt like crying more. But, instead, I left the rest of the flock to ask questions they didn't even know I wasn't paying attention to. My face was blank, and I walked into Ella's room. I didn't say anything, but inside, my thoughts were racing. I locked her door and plopped onto her bed. All I did was stare up at the ceiling. Next I knew, there was a knock at the door.

"Max?" Dylan called. I would have rolled my eyes any other day at this.

"What?" I replied in monotone. I felt completely different on the inside, but my emotions wouldn't show.

"Um, aren't you hungry?" he asked through the door.

"No." I said in the same tone.

"Are you sure? You need plenty of food," he started. I got up and opened the door.

"Thank you Dylan," I smiled sweetly. "But no thank you. Its been a long day, and from Ang- what happened, I think if I ate anything right now, I'd just barf it back up" I gave a slight chuckle.

He looked very convinced and nodded slowly. "Okay, I guess. Well, goodnight?"

"Goodnight Dylan. I'll see you in the morning" I said. He looked satisfied by my pleasant reaction since I've only been mean. But he stopped the door from closing.

"Don't you want to say goodnight to everyone else?" he asked. I nodded and walked out.

Nudge was 'reading' a magazine, but really just flipping pages. Gazzy was playing with Lego's again, and Iggy... he was just sitting on the couch.

"Hey everyone," I said. Gazzy and Nudge looked up at me, and Dylans eyes were already focused on me, and had been. "I would like to say something to all of you," I sighed and sat down in a chair.

"Whats wrong?" Nudge asked, as if nothing were.

"Okay, I know we've been through a lot in a while. We're all trying to deny it, but we all know avoiding it won't get us anywhere. We all miss Angel. Of coarse we do. I know I'm the flocks leader and all, but, the truth is that I don't always have the answers. I don't know if Angels alive or... not. But, what I know is, is that she wouldn't want us to remember her like this. She'd want us to think about everything good. I know, Max has gone all sappy on you. But, it seems like we've all lost a little of our tough shells. What I want you to know is that, no matter what, we'll always be a flock. I don't care what anyone says we always will be. Angel, where ever she is, is still part of the flock and always will be. Fang- even though he left, he still is a part of the flock," I looked over at Dylan.

"And even though, I know I can be pretty harsh on you, and I've said you aren't a member of the flock, I want you to know you are. Your trustworthy, and pretty nice, and have saved us all more than once."

"Thanks Max," Dylan smiled.

"I also want you to know," I glanced around. "Things lately, we don't know what might happen. But, I know that you are all stronger than ever" I held my fist out. They all tapped mine. "Night guys" then walked back to Ella's room.

I was still staring up at the ceiling. Ella's blanket was warm around me, and yet I still didn't feel that same loving feeling. I sighed quietly and looked at her alarm clock. 12:26. I turned on my side. I went through all my thoughts, every single one of them ending back at Fang. No matter how many times I tried to change the subject in my head, it would end there. I knew what my mind was telling me, and was I was telling me. I wanted answers. No, I needed answers. I got up and sneaked over to the laptop. Fangs blog. I pulled it up and read the latest update.

Yo, peoples. Me and the Fang Gang heard about some trouble at New York. But, seriously, when will these people learn? Everything's been... a disaster. Angel is gone- dead or alive, we don't know- and the Fang Gang met the flock... Not the best of ideas. I doubt Max will ever even read this since things have been... off between us lately. But hey, its worth a try right? Max, if you are reading this, which I still doubt. But, by any chance you are, I'm still sorry. I made everything 'Off'. It wasn't you, or Angel, or Gazzy, or Nudge, or Iggy, and not even Dylan. It was me who did that, and I hoped we could talk. And have a conversation better than the last few times. I overreacted and I hope you'll except this. Check your E-mail.

-Fang

I closed the page and went to our E-mail. I didn't know what was in it, and part of me didn't want to know. But, I opened it anyways. Inside was an address of a hotel and a room number. It said that he wanted to talk, again. I wondered what to do. I had to figure things out. Everything. Maybe they found something, or maybe a lead on Angel, or just me and Fang. Those were three reasons to go. I knew the flock would also be in good hands.

I'm sorry to leave, guys. But, I'll be back. Don't come, because I know you'll think about it. Dylan, take care of them. And you don't come after me either. I need to do this alone. Just to find some answers.

-Max

And with that, I snuck out of the house and flew off. I couldn't even try to think about what was going to happen. What if it was just a very elaborate plan? But, I didn't think about this until my super speed brought me to the address of Fang's hotel. I walked into the lobby and walked up the stairs.

When I got to the right floor, and was standing in the hallway, I felt the need to puke again. There, right in the hall, was Maya and Fang. Maya was smiling at Fang, and he brushed a strand of hair from her face. Before I could stop it, the staircase door slammed shut and they both looked over to me. I turned back around and ran back down the stairs.

"Wait, Max!" I heard Fang call. I ignored him just as he did me. Soon, he was running down the stairs too. "Max! Please just stop!" he kept repeating.

I already had tears in my eyes, and by my speed, I hoped they were drying away. I thought that maybe I wouldn't cry anymore. How wrong I was. I ran out of the hotel and took out my wings. Soon, I was already high in the air, but with Fang behind me.

"You know this tactic won't work right?" he called.

"Really, because last time I checked I could fly faster" I called back. I hated how my voice sounded, all cracking and weak.

"You know what I mean. Running isn't always the solution" he called back. "Please? If we're ever going to get any answers" I could hear how his voice sounded. It was pleading.

I looked back at him, then back in front of me and started to make my way back to the ground. I landed in a park somewhere, I didn't even try to find out where exactly. I waited for Fang to land as well.

"You wanted to talk. Now talk" I said in a more firm voice.

"Why are you acting like this?" Fang asked.

"Why am I acting like this. Hmm, let me think. Wait, its on the tip of my tongue!" I paused. "Maybe its the fact that I can be so easily replaced! And don't start on the 'She's different' thing. Yeah, sure, I get it. Not the same, but look the same. Apparently, I couldn't have meant that much to you in the first place" I said coldly.

"Yes you did. And you still do mean a lot to me. She's a friend, a part of the group" he said.

"I used to be in that same position. A friend and in the group. Don't even try that on me!"

"Try what? Tell the truth?" he said louder. I looked into his eyes. I remembered them being brighter, if possible. I had more tears in my eyes and I started to shake my head slowly.

"What happened to you? What happened to us?" I asked.

"I don't know what your talking about" he said a little calmer.

"We used to be different. You'd always be there for me. Then, Angel, my baby, is gone and you leave me! When I need you most, your not there!" I gave a whimper and bowed my head. I cleared my throat. "I remember how we were. I remember how your eyes used to look at me... brighter. Now, they're hostile and angry. I remember what your presence did to me. How you used to brush my hair behind my ear before you left. Just like what I saw with Maya. You've replaced me. Now, you look at her with that look, your there for her, and I'm just a stranger"

"Your not a stranger." he said and stepped closer to me.

"It feels like it. Admit it. Some part in you replaced me with Maya" I said.

"But I haven't. I can't replace you" he said.

"Then explain whats going on with you and her. Now." I said and stepped back.

"Tell me whats on with you and Dylan!" he said a little louder. "Breeding? Why didn't you tell me!"

"Nothing is going on with me and Dylan! He was programed to love me! I'm not something someone programed!"

"I know that-"

"And breeding! You think I'd do that? Once you leave just go off and do that! With him!" I started babbling. This is the part where everything comes out. "You know I wouldn't! Did you know that once you left, all I did was cry? The flock hardly sees me cry, and they had to for weeks. From what? No, from who. You. So yeah, I would just forget about us that easily and go off with Dylan. I was disgusted when they said that. For one, I didn't even know him, and two, I didn't love him. I loved you. If I had to do... that, you know that the only person I would have done it with was you!" I blurted out.

Once I knew what I said I was in shock that I said it. So was Fang. But after a while, with no words, he stepped closer to me. I looked up into his eyes and almost smiled by the brightness that returned to them. He smiled back, and my heart felt... fixed. I knew that look, and nodded. He leaned down and kissed me.

"I'm sorry. About everything." he whispered one we broke apart.

"I'm sorry for acting like that"

"No, you had all the right to act like that" he paused. "But I didn't"

I put my head against his chest. I missed doing that. Being able to listen to his heartbeat. The reassurance of knowing he was still alive. I sighed. And I felt his look down at me.

"How is this going to work?" I asked and looked up at him. "I don't want us to be apart. I hate it when we are"

"I'll go with you" he suggested.

"What about the Fang Gang?" I asked.

"Maya can lead. You of all people should know that you can definitely lead." he smiled. I loved his smile.

"Are you su-" just them he kissed me again. Man, did I miss this. I missed him. I missed us.

"Positive"

We flew off after he explained to Maya. The whole time all I was thinking was: WTF is going on! But, I let it happen, whatever it was. It made me feel- different. Not always in control. And- I kind of liked it...

Hiya guys! Well, I guess this is a one-shot... unless some peoples disagree. Or I could make it a series of one-shots. I got an idea from a commercial today... *Evil laugh*... That was creepy. Well, leave me thoughts or I'll go all Angle on you and read them myself! :D just kidding. I wish. Well, bye...