Rumours, a harry potter fanfic

"I hear he's this amazing seeker—like a prodigy—that Wood's going to keep hidden until the first game of the season."

"He's in the hospital wing because a load of Death Eaters tried to attack him in the corridor. They're all in St. Mungo's, of course."

"Victoria Summerby's cousin—he's an Auror—says that Dumbledore disguised the poor boy and sent him to live in Australia until he's old enough for Hogwarts."

"Anna Fitzgerald from Magnolia Road told me there's no such thing as St. Brutus's, she looked it up. She thinks the Dursleys force him off on some other relative during the school year."

"Petunia told me that he didn't have any other relatives. Unless they send him to live with Vernon's sister, you know, the fat one with the dogs."

"Of course he put his name in. He'll do anything for a bit of attention."

"He probably had something to do with Cedric's death. Maybe he had some sort of breakdown."

"Oh, how awful!"

I heard him telling Ron Weasley at breakfast that Professor Lupin's giving him private defense lessons. Probably so he can fight off Sirius Black."

"He paid Dumbledore off. That's why he didn't get expelled."

"See that girl with the pink hat? That's his girlfriend, Loony Lovegood, they've been going out since Christmas."

"She's sort of good-looking, in a free-spirited artist sort of way."

"She's completely mad. I have no idea what he sees in her."

"I hear he's close friends with Fudge. Dumbledore lets him leave Hogwarts to go have lunch with the Minister. He just asks the minister for favors and the minister supports all of the laws that Potter asks him too."

"He blew up his aunt! She's in bits and pieces all over the country and the Ministry people had to put her back together again."

"Isobel said that he told Umbridge she was a bitch in front of the entire class."

"The Daily Prophet says that he had a fake scar attack last week. He was very dramatic about it, even though everyone knows it's all complete rubbish."

"The Prophet said he'd been pining after her for ages."

"Hermione Granger? You're kidding! Really?"

"Yeah, and she's dating Krum."

"He tells everyone that the expelliarmus spell is what saved him, but I heard it's some ancient hex that he's trying to keep secret."

"The Firebolt was a gift from the English National Team. They want him to play in the World Cup next year."

"I reckon he's still a bit loony, you know? Dunno why anyone would go after Voldemort. He should leave it to the Aurors."

"Gryffindors."

"Oh, God, look how young we look. What was this, year 3? There's you, me, and who's that? Let's see—second row, three from the left—Harry Potter."

"Oh, right, that was Dudley Dursley's cousin, remember? Scrawny thing, isn't he? I think my mum said he ended up in reform school."

"Really? I thought Dudley said his cousin was some sort of police officer."

You should have stayed for Christmas Break. There was this big scene between Harry Potter's friends, Hermione Granger and Ron Weasley. I hear it's because Hermione and Harry had a secret relationship, but Harry dumped Hermione for Loony Lovegood, so Hermione took up with McLaggen and now Ron Weasley thinks he's got a chance with her. But Harry is still in love with Hermione, only Loony doesn't know. So Harry's seriously hacked off at Ron for going after Hermione."

"I saw Harry and Ron at breakfast, they didn't look like they were fighting."

"Well, obviously Harry doesn't want Loony to know he's still mooning over Hermione, does he? He has to pretend he's alright."

I hear he's holding secret defense meetings. They're building up an army, and they're going to take down Umbridge and the ministry because he knows all these Death Eater spells."

"The three of them are very close, if you know what I mean."

"Gross!"

"He's a lunatic, you know. Thinks You-Know-Who's come back."

"He told Umbridge that You-Know-Who killed Cedric."

"The Prophet said his mind was affected when Voldemort killed his parents."

"He's dating Ginny Weasley. I hear Ron Weasley's furious."

"Oh yes, I know him! I've got him in my class this year. He's a sweet boy, there's no doubt about that. But the cousin! I've heard the other teachers grumbling about parents like them."

"Pity."

"I heard he got a Hippogriff tattoo on his chest."

"A DRAGON! HE ESCAPED ON A DRAGON!"

"No way! That's the stupidest rumour yet!"

"He doesn't seem like a criminal."

"Are you kidding? Does St. Brutus's Secure Centre for Incurably Criminal Boys sound like a finishing school to you? He's most definitely a criminal. I've heard he stabbed someone in a bar fight."

"He's thirteen!"

"I heard it from a very reliable source. It's always the quiet ones, you know."

"What ever happened to him anyway? Did he go to jail or something, Dud?"

"I dunno."

I hear he's been cheating on his girlfriend Ginny with his best friend Hermione Granger. They don't really study during those late night study sessions."

"That poor boy. Petunia always has him working in the garden."

"No, he's not right in the head."

"I heard he's hiding in America with Ron and Hermione."

"Nah, Ron Weasley has spattergoit. His sister said."

"I hear he doesn't have a date for the Yule Ball yet."

"Ooh, you should ask him. It would be so amazing to walk in on the arm of a Twiwizard champion!"

"You better stay away from Potter."

"I'm sure I saw him in Honeydukes."

"Are you still on about that? I told you, Professor McGonagall told him he couldn't come. He's not in Hogsmeade."

"I heard he performed some awful spell on Hermione Granger, because she found out he was opening the Chamber. That's why she's been in hospital since Christmas."

"He's definitely the heir of Slytherin."

"He slashed Draco Malfoy!"

"He and Dumbledore are really close. Dumbledore has him in his office all of the time."

"He definitely got better over the summer."

"Who?"

"Harry Potter, look there."

"Oh Merlin, was he always that tall?"

"Flitwick caught him and Ginny in a broom cupboard the other day, you know."

"He can just snap his fingers and become invisible. No cloak or spell or anything. That's how he wanders around at night."

"I heard he's got five vaults of galleons. He's richer than Malfoy, probably. That's how he could afford that Firebolt."

"My grandmum says that Sirius Black, that murderer on the run, you know who I mean, is his godfather."

"Don't be an idiot, Sara. Come on, we'll be late to Transfiguration if you don't hurry."

A/N: I don't know why I like writing these so much.