A/N: Hello, everyone! This is a fun little two shot I thought I'd publish. Now, without further ado, onto the story!
Disclaimer: I do not own anything, only the idea for the story.
The Smashers were all assembled in a comfortable room. Why? To deal with a certain maniacal left hand, of course. It was clear in everyone's minds of how it had first started…
Flashback, 8:30 A.M.
The Smashers were trooping down the stairs to the cafeteria for breakfast. It was a Saturday, a day to do whatever they wanted to do (which, in many cases, was nothing at all). It was actually rather peaceful; most had already sat down and were making conversation with those at their table. It was so calm, it seemed like it was actually going to be a normal day.
Just then, Crazy Hand burst into the cafeteria. "WAHOO! TODAY'S NATIONAL NO-BOREDOM DAY! TIME FOR A WHOLE DAY OF NOTHING BUT FUN! WAHAHAHAHA!" He screeched at the top of his voice.
…Come on, you know it was too good to be true.
The Smashers groaned at what was going to be a long day.
End of Flashback
Ever since then, there was no peace in the Mansion. Crazy had bombarded Sonic, Lucario, Pit, Zelda, and Snake with water balloons as they were walking down a deserted hallway to lunch. Pit had shaken his fist at the white gloved hand, shouting angry nonsense. Snake had fired off an impressive stream of curses. Sonic, Lucario, and Zelda had tried to attack him, but Crazy just zipped away yelling, "Wheeeeeee!"
Crazy Hand had also lurked behind corners earlier that day, jumping out and scaring the heck out of the Smashers as they passed by. Ness and Captain Falcon had both shrieked like little girls when Crazy Hand jumped out with a holler and a maniacal laugh. Marth and Ike, who were passing by with a video camera (they were recording all the going-ons in the Smash Mansion, for obvious reasons) caught the whole scene on tape, snickering as they watched.
Furthermore, Crazy Hand had tied up Mr. Game and Watch and Luigi in the training center's lockers and sent the party of Smashers looking for them (that is, Mario, King Dedede, and Lucas) on a wild goose chase. And if that wasn't enough, Crazy had tricked Wolf into thinking that Samus Aran had a HUGE crush on the lupine. Wolf…hadn't turned out for the better after that.
That had been the worst of the day. Other, eh, less major events had occurred. Crazy had stolen Peach's crown (he had had her frying pan to answer to and hastily gave it back) and pulled the rugs out from under a few Smashers that had been watching a movie on the floor (that is, Pikachu, Red the Pokémon Trainer, and his Pokémon Ivysaur, Squirtle, and Charizard). The effect was tremendous. Well, to keep a long story short (and to pass over the inappropriate things that were said and done), it had ended up with Pikachu getting a charcoaled rear end, and Red and his Pokémon getting electrocuted to crisps.
Now, all the Smashers were in the Romp Room. The Romp Room was a room off to the side of the Arcade which you could only access through a secret door in the gaming storage closet (this was a closet where spare batteries, hand-held consoles, and much more were kept.) The Romp room had five couches that seated three people each (they seated four if you were smaller than Bowser), four medium-sized tables, an abundance of large, squashy beanbags, and two big flat screen TVs. It was quiet, relaxing, and Crazy Hand didn't know a thing about it.
Link, Peach, and Marth were the three leaders of the meeting. Link spoke first.
"Alright, well, you all, um, know why we're here." Many Smashers rolled their eyes. Link continued, "We all know that Crazy Hand's been a nuisance today. So I say we all crack our knuckles and get some sweet revenge!" There was a murmur of approval. The villains wore particularly evil grins.
"So," Peach picked up, "who's got a great plan of action?"
Sonic raised his hand. "I say I race him, and if he loses, which he will, then he leaves us alone!"
"Are you-a kidding me?!" Mario shouted indignantly. "We oughta fight him, of-a course! What-a kind of lousy plan-a is that-a?"
"Why you—"
Sonic threw a punch at Mario. It hit him square in the gut. Mario flew back at Sonic with a fiery fist, hissing through his teeth, "It's on-a, hedgehog." And with that, they proceeded to beat each other up.
At first, no one really took the time to care; these two brawled all the time, and what of this was new? But as they were scuffling around, Mario accidentally tread on Charizard's tail. Charizard bellowed in pain and started to punch Mario. His fiery tail swung round, lighting several Smashers aflame. They, in turn, started attacking any part of Charizard they could. Those Smashers hurt others. And they attacked. Then someone else got hurt. In this way, a brawl ensued in the Romp Room.
It was madness. Through the racket you could see Snake ripping off the safety pins on his grenades and stuffing them up Yoshi's nose while holding the wretched little green dino in a headlock. Ike was hacking away at King Dedede's hammer like it was a tree. Samus and Pikachu were double teaming up on Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu electrocuting him while Samus slashed away at the 2d character with her plasma whip. Following the example of Samus and Pikachu, Pit and Toon Link had ganged up on Olimar, quite accurately enacting a torture system. Pit had pinned Olimar to the wall and was beating him up, occasionally stopping to let Olimar watch Toon Link kill off a Pikmin the slow and hard way. Olimar was crying incessantly. Captain Falcon was chasing Luigi who, in turn, tripped and fell of course and was subjected to a rather nasty "Falcon PAAAWNCH!"
Peach, looking at the scene before her, suddenly screeched, "BE QUIET!" When nothing happened, she banged her golf club and frying pan together, shouting, "Hey! PEOPLE! LET'S FOCUS HERE!" This only added to the din. So, sighing, Peach balled her fists and flew into the fray.
Marth and Link watched her. "You think we should help her?" Link asked.
"Nah," answered Marth indifferently. "I'll bet you ten bucks that she sorts this out within the next ten seconds."
"Nuh-uh, I say in the next 20 seconds."
"You're on." Marth found a timer out of nowhere and began to watch it intently. At that moment, there was a titanic explosion as the grenades in Yoshi's nose exploded. Link and Marth barely flinched as they stared at the clock.
15 seconds later, the dust and smoke cleared. Link and Marth looked at each other, shrugged, and turned their attention back to Peach.
She was holding Sonic and Mario in her left and right hands respectively. They were dangling off the ground. She had one foot on Charizard. All the rest of the Smash were cowering on the ground. Many had rather nasty bruises and bleeding cuts, the latter of which many were flowing freely. Yoshi lay quietly on the ground beside Olimar, the both of them knocked out.
"Look here," said Peach, who somehow had a sinister looking glint in her eye, "try this again and I swear this will be only the start of it. Got it?" There were muted nods all around the room. "Good," said Peach cheerfully. She promptly dropped the two Smashers she had been holding and skipped to the front of the room. "Now, where were we? Oh, that's right, ideas for revenge. Take over, Marth!"
There was silence.
"Peach," whispered Marth loudly, "perhaps you should revive them with the peaches from your Final Smash."
"Hmmm. Oh, alright," Peach consented. "Do you have a Smash Ball?"
"Actually, I do." The Altean prince grinned and pulled a Crate out of a nearby corner. "I put it in here."
While Link looked at Marth questioningly, Peach murmured, "Thanks," ripped open the crate, and cracked the Smash Ball.
One Final Smash performance later, the rest of the Smashers were revived and chattering animatedly. Peach called for attention.
"The meeting will be resumed now. Take over, Marth!"
"You there, on the right. Bowser, What do you think?"
Bowser roared, "We brutally murder Crazy Hand!"
"What!? No! Bowser, that would be just wrong, we can't!" Marth was appalled. Bowser sulked.
"Hmph. Trust the Altean Prince of softness to say something like that!" Ganondorf muttered.
Marth heard him and flushed angrily. "Excuse me?! I just happen to have a sense of honor! Unlike YOU! And I'll have you know that I've been in all sorts of wars and seen things that would make your skin crawl and you would have nightmares for weeks! There was this one—Ow!"
Peach swatted Marth with her frying pan. "Shut up! We're getting nowhere here! Marth, you're a great warrior (said prince blushed). Ganondunce, unless you have a fantastic idea, I suggest you shut your pie hole and leave it that way, you hear?" Ganondorf muttered something incomprehensibly. Peach bopped him on the head extra hard. "Speak up, or I'll take one of my golf clubs and stick it up your—" At this point, Zelda coughed very loudly.
"Yes ma'am!" Ganondorf squeaked. Many of the Smashers snickered audibly. Mario beamed at Peach, and she winked back.
Then, Lucario raised his hand. Link said, "Yes?" When he had presented his idea, everyone had looks of approval, satisfaction, or just plain evil on their faces. "Well," said Link, "in my opinion, that's the best idea ever! All in favor?"
"AYE!"
"Well, on that unanimous vote, let's take our leave. Meeting dismissed!" With that, the Smashers filed out of the Romp Room in small groups, preparing for the plan.
Thank you for reading, and please let me know what you think in a review! Your thoughts and critique are appreciated!
