Chapter one: To wish was to hope, and to hope was to expect.
Fitzwilliam Darcy sat stiffly in the carriage as it rambled down the dirty road, uncomfortable from the long ride and restless in his thoughts. His attempts to read a book had failed miserably, not to mention that he kept his eyes fixed on the same page throughout the whole journey. His cousin, Colonel Richard Fitzwilliam, was in a talkative mood - as always - but Darcy was too discomfort to reply or even pay attention. His thoughts were on Rosings and more precisely on that day,a year ago, when Miss Elizabeth Bennet had visited it with the Collins. He often thought about her, but never allowed himself to hope anything that she obviously didn't wish to give. In vain, he had tried to forget her, but he could not.
Every time he visited Rosings Park, unpleasant thoughts invaded his mind. Thoughts that concerned Elizabeth Bennet and the things he should have said instead of this hideous proposal. Things that he truly believed and not what his vanity and pride permitted him to tell. At that time, he didn't believe that his feelings would be so strong but as time past, he realized that they were actually stronger than he expected to. Who said that time was a great healer? Bollocks, he would reply. He never stopped loving her, neither did his feelings change; he didn't even get bitter for his unreturned love.
"Come on Darcy, get rid of that expression" Fitzwilliam slapped him on the shoulder.
Darcy turned to him and scowled. "What expression?"
"Must you look so plum? We have visited our aunt innumerable times throughout the years, surely you have learned how to tolerate her."
Darcy took a deep breath. "Yes."
"You know we have to."
The carriage door was opened and the two men stepped out, soon they were welcomed by their aunt and cousin. After a while, as the colonel occupied Lady Catherine and talked of war and politics - like she had any idea of what she was talking about . In the midst of Darcy's thoughts, he became aware of his aunt mention to Mr Collins, informing them that she had to find another clergyman.
"Excuse me, aunt, but what happened to Mr Collins?"
"He has quit from his position. He is now in Hertfordshire, to that estate that was entailed to him."she paused "Mr..Mr.. I can't remember his name, died and Mr . Collins claimed his rightful possession"
"Mr. Bennet?" Darcy asked with such a feeling that raised his cousin's curiosity.
"Yes, the very one" Lady Catherine simply said. "This had been a great inconvenience for me. It took me at least two months to find another one to suit my tastes"
"When did this all happen?"
"It's been more than nine months."
"Is that Elizabeth Bennet's family?" Colonel asked, but before the lady could respond Darcy posed another question to his aunt.
"Do you know perhaps what happened to the ladies? Where are they settled?"
"How should I know and why should I care?" she plainly stated.
"That's grave indeed" the colonel commented. "I cannot imagine what they've suffered"
"I do not sympathize them in the least, because all that could be avoided, if that silly girl had accepted him" she said. "I remember her, not very clearly I might say, when she came here at Rosings Park"
"Where are you referring to?" Darcy asked again.
"To the proposal that Collins made to Elizabeth Bennet. But, the selfish girl refused him. I tell you, that girl has such a high opinion of herself, more than she deserves."
Darcy felt felt as thought he had been stubbed in the chest, right next to his heart. He couldn't feel his legs and his breathing was getting slow. Did really Collins proposed to Elizabeth? How dare he assume that she would accept him? She deserved everything and Collins was not the person, who was able to give her even in the least of what she needed. On the other hand, he was the right man for this task. He could give up everything for her. He was able cherish her, properly as she deserved. But, then again, she had refused him and frankly saying, he deserved it. You are the last man in the world whom I could ever be prevailed upon to marry, her painful words passed through his head one more time.
"I would disagree aunt. I would say that Miss Bennet is extremely modest." Fitzwilliam said and interrupted Darcy from his thoughts.
"The nerves of that girl! She did not even have the decency to answer my questions, not only to mention her rudeness towards my person." She paused to calm her nerves, as she was getting red from her anger "...to assume that Darcy would ever marry her"
"What?" Fitzwilliam Darcy almost shouted.
"Is it not ridiculous? The shades of Pemberley to be thus polluted" she replied with temper
"What are you talking about?" He demanded
"I visited Miss Bennet to hear from her own lips that the rumors of her attachment with you was simply a falsehood."
"What? When did this happen? " Darcy said as he stood up.
"Sit down, nephew. There's no reason for you to be so upset"
"What did she say?"
"I made her promise me that she would never enter into such an engagement, but she hearty refused. Unfeeling, selfish girl!"
"I think that's enough,aunt" Darcy angrily replied as he positioned himself in in font of the window,with his hands behind his back.
"Darcy, I do..." she tried to say but the colonel interrupted her, trying to lighten up the tension that was created.
"Tell me aunt, how Anne is getting along? Has her health improved?"
But, because Darcy couldn't rest his temper nor his endless thoughts, which were passing through his head. He excused himself and run to his chambers. He couldn't stand another word from anyone, he just wanted to be left alone in his solitude. Unluckily for her ladyship, Elizabeth's refusal had a different effect on Darcy. It taught him to hope as he scarcely ever allowed himself to hope before. He knew very well that if she had been absolutely, irrevocably decided against him, she would have acknowledged it to Lady Catherine, frankly and openly. He knew enough of her frankness to believe her capable of that. But, all that time he kept himself away from her,but he did it, only because he thought that it was what she wanted. A year of pain and despair could have been avoided if those news reached his ears earlier. Was it too late to redeem himself?
That night, when the house slept Darcy laid awake in the library, pondering on what Lady Catherine said. Elizabeth was all that he cared of, even it did no good at his pride, to have such a weak spot, it was true. So true, as his flesh and bones. She was in his only thoughts and everywhere he went, she was there. She was in every page of every book he picked up to distract himself. But, what really troubled him now, was her safety. What if she was forced to marry someone wealthy to save herself and her family? He couldn't thought of anyone, except him, kissing or even touching her. She was supposed to be his. He needed to know where she was. He needed to see her, as much as he needed the air to breathe. If what his aunt said was true, then Elizabeth was not entirely indifferent to him. She might even love him and that thought, gave him hope. And hope was the beginning of everything...
Author note: Hello everyone! I'm so excited for this story, because it's my first one, so I'd ask you to be kind. But, I really like constructive criticism and generally any review from you would be wonderful. This idea has been bouncing around my head ever since I first read the book, so I thought I might give it a shot. Hope you enjoy!