I think it's best if I don't explain this that much. It's just a funny little one shot crossover that I thought I'd post in honour of Gay Pride Day, which is on different days in different cities. I don't see why it can't be the same day internationally.
Important to note: In this story's universe, everyone who SHOULD be alive IS because I said so.
Disclaimer: I don't own them but I have Sirius and Remus asleep on my rug and Jack and Ianto chained to my bed. ;) Well, technically, Jack and Ianto are both bisexual. As for the pups, I guess that depends on what you want to believe. Don't get me started.
No offence is intended whatsoever.
This story is for Children of Shadows, I was actually inspired to write this when I was leaving a review for one of her stories.
Gay Pride Day 2013, Anywhere
Remus approached a young man in a suit who looked like he paid attention to things "Excuse me?"
"Yes sir?" and he had manners too—definitely must be gay, maybe he had seen Sirius.
"Have you seen a man about my height, black hair with streaks of grey, grey eyes, wearing jeans, a leather jacket and a Freddie Mercury t-shirt?"
The young man scanned the crowd "Can't say I have, I'm sorry sir. I'm looking for someone myself. Have you seen a man, about my height, brown hair, blue eyes and dressed like it's 1941?"
Remus shook his head "No, I'm sorry and I would remember seeing someone like that. Lost yours too, huh?"
The Welshman sighed "He's always doing this, I can't take him anywhere. He gets distracted by everything; it's like taking a two year old to the zoo. I'm sorry, you probably didn't want to hear all that."
"It's okay, mine's the same way. Maybe they got distracted by the same thing, though it sounds like the have very different tastes."
"Oh, Jack likes Queen all right, just try getting him to admit it. Does yours like Glenn Miller by chance?"
Remus laughed "'Fraid that's me in the relationship. Sirius pretends to gag every time I put it on the record player. You do know what a record player is, right?"
"I'm 29 not 9, sir."
"Sorry. We may as well look together. I saw Sirius eyeing the bouncy castle in the children's area earlier."
"Oh dear, Jack was too. Ianto Jones, by the way" he held out his hand.
Remus shook it "Remus Lupin."
…
Jack bounced over to the only other person in the castle, another man and introduced himself "Hello. Captain Jack Harkness."
The man shook his hand with a smile "Sirius Black and yes, I know it sounds like a paint colour. Nice to see I'm not the only kid at heart."
"Same here. Can't imagine why the real kids don't want to be in here with us" he indicated the group of children watching them from the outside.
"They must be taking notes on our mad bouncing skills."
"That makes sense."
"You here with anyone?" Sirius asked.
"My partner, yeah. I expect he's noticed I'm gone by now."
Sirius laughed "Mine too but Remus will find me, he always does."
"So will Ianto. Sirius and Remus, huh? I like it, your names sound good together."
"Thank you. Jack and Ianto sound good too."
They continued to bounce merrily deaf to the indignant cries of the short-haired woman who was in charge of the kids' area.
…
Ianto groaned when he saw the group of children standing outside the rainbow coloured bouncy castle "Damn."
Remus sighed "I was afraid of this."
They ran up to the castle and sure enough only two fully grown men were inside. Ianto spotted Jack's patent brown leather loafers on the ground outside next to a pair of red trainers which must have belonged to Sirius.
"What's the problem?" Remus was talking to a tomboy woman who must have been the play area supervisor.
"Those two" she pointed at the castle "paid no attention to the rules saying that that is only for the children. They scared all the kids right out of it. What do they think they're playing at? Do they want to be arrested? I'm about to call security."
Remus sighed wearily "There's no need for that ma'am."
Ianto stepped up to them "They belong to us. We'll handle it."
"You'd better or I will call for security."
Ianto and Remus stepped closer to the bouncy castle. "Jack!" Ianto called.
"Sirius Black!" Remus shouted, he was clearly more upset than Ianto was.
Jack grinned at Ianto through the mesh screen "Hey babe! Glad you found me. Come on in, the rubber's fine."
Sirius's laugh sounded like a dog's bark and both Ianto and Remus turned bright red.
"Jack Harkness!" Ianto said "don't…"
"Sirius" Remus called again "get out of there!"
"Oh come on Moonlove" Sirius said happily "join us, it's fun!"
Ianto stared at Remus with an arched eyebrow "Moonlove?"
Remus sighed "Don't ask."
Ianto turned back to look at Jack, he and Sirius were now holding hands and bouncing in circles. "Jack, cariad, please get out of there. It's only for the children."
Remus ran a hand through his grey hair "It seems the only thing we can do is to go in and drag them out before someone gets the idea to put dog droppings in their shoes."
"Why would…"
"Weren't you ever a little boy?"
"Yes but I'm not much of a dog person, terrified of them when I was little" he slipped off his own loafers.
"I'm sorry to hear that" Remus carefully untied his brown leather shoes "let's go then."
…
Remus and Ianto climbed into the castle and they both immediately lost their footing.
Sirius and Jack laughed.
Sirius helped Remus up and Remus clutched at him tightly "This is like time you and James turned the common room…" he stopped abruptly, remembering there were muggles present.
"Come on Ianto" Jack said, pulling the younger man to his feet "you're young and springy, you should know how to bounce."
Ianto glared at him "I grew up on the poorer end of a council estate, do you think I've ever set foot in one of these things before? My dad didn't believe in fun."
"Ooo, neither did mine" Sirius said to him "strict as a board, the old wanker. Been dead thirty-four years now" he added fondly. He started bouncing again, pulling Remus with him.
"Sirius! Stop! We are too old for this for God's sake; we are fifty-three years old!"
"Don't get me started on how old you are, Jack Harkness! You're upsetting the children!"
"Will you relax Ianto? I swear, is the only time you have fun is when we're..mpmh!"
Ianto must have covered his mouth "There are children present!"
Sirius laughed, this was too much fun.
"That's it" Ianto grabbed Jack roughly, with the strength only a rugby player or a werewolf could possess, threw him to the floor and rolled him out of the castle and on to the ground outside. Jack was laughing the whole time.
Then Remus smirked at Sirius with gleaming eyes and did the same thing to him.
…
Remus and Ianto made Sirius and Jack buy ice cream for all the kids before dragging them away from the play area.
"I don't see why you're so upset" Jack said, linking his arm with Ianto's.
"You didn't tell me where you were going, Jack. Our one day off in more than a month, I don't like you suddenly disappearing. If it's for work, fine but you know what that does to me."
"I'm sorry" Jack kissed his cheek "I should have told you."
Sirius took Remus's hand "Why are you so upset, Remus?"
"You could have broken your neck, Sirius" he snapped.
"Oh calm down, Moony. Being fifty-three does not make me decrepit. You're only as old as you feel."
"You obviously feel like a twelve year old. I ought to make you sleep in the dog house tonight. Do you know how worried I was, when I couldn't find you? You just disappeared on me Sirius, I mean…"
Sirius silenced him with a kiss "I'm sorry, love, I didn't think."
"You never do."
"Oh Remus, you know what it does to me when you stick out that tasty bottom lip."
"Sirius."
"And I love it when you whimper."
Remus sighed "I give up."
Jack giggled and Ianto gave Remus a look that said 'I know how you feel'.
"Come on" Sirius said brightly "let's go get some food, how about chocolate cheesecake for dessert? All four of us, my treat."
"And coffee too?" Ianto said hopefully.
"Absolutely, let's go. Oh, the parade's starting."
"Oh dear God" Remus clutched Sirius's arm "the Grand Marshal, is that…?"
"That is" Sirius laughed "That's Dumbledore!"
End.
I had to end it there or it never would. I just wanted a nice little bizarre one shot and not a bizarre never ending chapter fic.
Anyway, please let me know if you liked it.
TTFN