I can honestly say, My Lord, that I own none of what is below that is not inside these**. My Lord, if it is between these symbols then they do indeed belong to me...
10 Things That Professor Severus Snape Simply MUST do before being killed by either of his masters…
1. Get laid, 'cause he seriously needs to get rid of some of that tension. Who knows, he might even be nice to the Gryffindor students if he gets some…
2. Find a good shampoo and conditioner that will stop his hair getting so disgusting from the potions fumes, it's really getting boring with the 'greasy git' comments, so first year.
3. Go at it with the resident know-it-all, preferably by banging her into his classroom desk while she's in her uniform, just so we can place it on You Tube.
4. Get a whitening treatment from a dentist so that his teeth aren't so yellow. Hell maybe he can get a discount if he goes to the Granger's practice, after 'servicing' their daughter!
5. Have a guy on guy experience with two other men, perhaps the marauders Mssrs Moony and Padfoot. *Raising and lowering eyebrow rapidly and suggestively at the thought of something so hot*
6. Shrink the nose, although you know what they say about men with big noses…* Winks at the thought, while licking her lips*
7. Have a torrid affair with a certain shining 'member' of the golden trio…
8. Get rid of that ghastly tattoo. Honestly, ever herd the word 'emo' before?
9. Pull off a hoax on the Old Coot who meddles in everyone else's business. Sorry 'Bumblebore' but it has to be done. A little taste of his own medicine, if you will.
10. Last but certainly not least, the most important of them all, a question…………………………………………………………………………………… did you listen to me and get laid yet?