A/N:Hey! Happy December guys! So I had this idea a few months ago, I don't have enough Taylor Swift songs (or creativity) for every day so I will post one every other day!

Disclaimer: NCIS characters are not mine, neither are Taylor Swift's lyrics!

You've been good, busier than ever,
We small talk, work and the weather,
Your guard is up and I know why.
Because the last time you saw me
Is still burned in the back of your mind.
You gave me roses and I left them there to die.

The first of December. Just an ordinary day in the calender, yet it felt so magical, so unique. One step closer to the day Abigail Sciuto was absolutely head over heels in love with – Christmas Day. Abby always found herself in her element in the days leading up to the Christian holiday, the hours she was not working she spent decorating her lab, apartment and friend's desks. It also marked the month she had broken up with McGee, many years ago, the biggest mistake she had ever made.

"Hey Abby" McGee's soft voice startled her but he was quite obviously not paying close enough attention to her to notice "You got those results?"

"Not yet … um … 20 minutes?" she said.

"Okay then. See you later" with that he turned tail and left her alone once again.

Abby sat slumped in her chair and stared after the other thing she was head over heels in love with "Timmy" her voice could have been mistaken for the breath of the wind, her voice was not stable enough to come out any louder than that, as the burning tears tumbled haphazardly down her ashen cheeks "I'm sorry" her upper body gave up on her as she collapsed onto her cluttered desk and her loose slate hair flopped dejectedly around her curved face, McGee had not even cared enough to notice the lack of characteristic bouncy pigtails. "I'm so, so sorry" for the tenth year in a row she was back to December again and she had not loved it in all that time.

But this is me swallowing my pride
Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."
And I go back to December...

That night Abby drew her covers right up to her neck, then past her neck and over her bowed head so that she was completely cocooned, she was trying to block out the world, trying to isolate herself from reality. Before she had cut herself off she had glanced at the clock – 2am. She had never been a solid sleeper but recently she had been finding it increasingly harder and harder to let herself be claimed by the restful embrace of sleep. Abby hugged Bert to her chest, his plush pale head gently brushing her soft lips. Her idea filled mind drifted back to when McGee had first stayed the night at her house, his help had been required on a case and she had let him stay at her place, one thing lead to another and before she knew it they were in bed together. But then, just as swiftly as it had begun, it all ended. McGee and she had been looking for different things out of their relationship, and then when he transferred to Gibbs' team, with rule #12 and all, she had walked out on him.

These days I haven't been sleeping,
Staying up, playing back myself leaving.
When your birthday passed and I didn't call.
And I think about summer, all the beautiful times,
I watched you laughing from the passenger side.
Realized I loved you in the fall.

Beside her bed her phone buzzed almost angrily. Reluctantly she pushed her arm out through the soft, warm fold of the bed sheets and briefly fumbled around for the gadget. Her eyes screamed at her as the screen lit up brightly. When her eyes finally adjusted to the searing light she made out what the notification said 'Tim McGee – Birthday'. A fresh batch of spikes leapt out of her eyes and attacked her cheeks. She felt her fingers loosen on the phone and it slipped from her grasp, she did not hear the crash as her cell hit the floor, her ears blocked out the noise, it was like her life had stopped. Time simply ceased to be.

Summer. The summer before they broke up, they had barely been going out for a couple of weeks. They had been happy, carefree, clicheably so. They had fun, mucked around like immature school children. They had been for drives, been all over the place, all throughout D.C. and Norfolk. She heard herself calling for McGee to hurry up, her voice was jokey, light and teasing. A smiling McGee was trailing happily along behind her, his face aloof and bright, he called back to her assuring her that he was coming, she was just going too fast.

These where just flashbacks, mirages, reminiscence on a lonely night. She had to live in the real world now – that part of her life was over. Abby had been running all her life from the world; now it had finally caught up with her.

So this is me swallowing my pride

Standing in front of you saying, "I'm sorry for that night."

A/N: Yes I realize that 'clicheably' is not a word, but is should be!