Summary: On the day before their six month anniversary, Spike gets a nasty shock. Based on the song Delilah, by Tom Jones. Is meant to be a parody, and is a crackfic. AU, All Human.

Author's Note: So, this idea came to me late last night, and wouldn't leave me alone until I wrote it. I had been reading a fic where Buffy leaves Riley for Spike, and it reminded me of the song Delilah, which then made me think of what would happen if it was Spike who got left. This isn't meant seriously, and is meant to be stupid. Please don't Flame, telling me how stupid this is. I know it's stupid. I wrote it at two AM, half asleep. Since it was already written, I thought "Why not post it?" and so here it is. As long as one person enjoys it, I did my job, yes? So, enjoy, or don't. It's up to you. ^-^

I highly recommend listening to Delilah, by Tom Jones, while reading this story. It sets the mood better, I think. ^-^

Disclaimer: Me? Own Buffy? *Cue hysterical laughter that last for three hours*
*Three hours later* Oh, Lordy, that was a good one. Tell another. ^-^

~I saw the light on the night that I passed by her window~
~I saw the flickering shadows of love on her blind~
~She was my woman~
~As she deceived me I watched and went out of my mind~

Spike was a lucky man. Things hadn't always been that way, of course, but for once in his life, things were looking up.

When he was a lad, he had been a sentimental fool, spouting random bits of poetry, and falling madly in love with the popular girl, Cecily. Such a lovely name for such a lovely, innocent girl, right? Well, that was what poncey William had thought.

After prom, when he had his poems stolen, and read in front of the entire school, and watched as she laughed at him, and told her he was "Beneath her," he realized what a fool he was. That was the night he met Drusilla as the pub.

Ah, Drusilla. Sweet, insane Drusilla. He loved her like he'd loved no other. He changed everything he was for her. She, in return, showed him things he never knew, took him to new heights, and made him better. William was no more, and there was only Spike.

He and Dru were happy for about a year, until he followed her one night, and realized what she really did on her 'girl's night out.' It nearly destroyed him that did, but he survived, and that was when he met Buffy.

~My, my, my, Delilah~
~Why, why, why, Delilah~
~I could see that girl was no good for me~
~But I was lost like a slave that no man could free~

Buffy... He smiled goofily, his heart filled to burst, as he thought of the love of his life. Drusilla could never hold a candle to Buffy. For one, Buffy wasn't insane, and for another, she would never hurt him, like Dru would sometimes do when she was having a fit. And, she'd certainly never cheat on him. She was a beautiful blonde, peppy, but she wasn't shallow, oh no, not his Buffy.

They had met six months ago at singles night at the Bronze. He had found Dru with that man just under a month before, and was still heartbroken. She was there for the same reason, and they bonded over their mutual heartbreak. She listened as he ranted about Dru, and he in turn listened as she bemoaned her love, Angel leaving her because her parents disapproved of him. They hit it off, and the rest was history.

When he was her, he could always just be himself. Not old William, he was dead and gone, but not Spike either. Now, he was a mix between the two. He still dressed in all black, his hair bleached blond, but he was softer, his accent not as harsh and crude. He liked who he was now, and it was thanks to Buffy.

Tonight was the day before their six month anniversary. He had big plans for tomorrow, and he couldn't wait to surprise her, and finally let her know how much he loved her. He was glad that her parents were out of town, so they could be together the whole day, if they wanted. He sighed happily, filled in a bubble of bliss. That bubble popped as soon as he reached her street.

~At break of day when that man drove away, I was waiting~
~I cross the street to her house and she opened the door~
~She stood there laughing~
~I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more~

As he stood across the street from her house, he frowned as he saw shadows flickering on her blinds. What the...

He stood there for a few minutes as he tried to comprehend what he was seeing. It couldn't be, it just couldn't... But the longer he stared, the more he realized that it was what he thought, and a feeling of icy dread filled his heart.

Why? W-what did I do? He thought desperately, as he felt his heart shattering. This was worse than Dru, worse than Cecily... She knew! She knew about what Dru had done to him, and how much it hurt him! How could she do this to him?! He did everything for her. He loved her, with all of his heart. She was his everything! And she did this to him? No... No, there had to be a reason. There had to be a reason why... Why she'd do this to him. There had to be...

He stood there the entire night, watching the shadows dance, and sometimes even hearing a moan, or a scream. They always made him flinch. She'd never been that vocal with him...

When dawn finally broke, the door opened. There stood his beautiful Buffy, another man holding her close. Sharing a laugh, they kissed gently. When they parted, a big, loving grin was on her face. She never looks at me like that... He couldn't help but think once more. Finally, the man left, and she entered her house again. He just stood there for a minute, as his thoughts overcame him, poisoning him, making him bitter.

~My, my, my Delilah~
~Why, why, why Delilah~
~So before they come to break down the door~
~Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more~

There's no reason, is there? He thought to himself, clenching and unclenching his fists. There is no reason why-why she did this to me.

Almost unconsciously, he took out the pocket knife he always carried with him since he became Spike, and crossed the streets. He wanted answers. He wanted to know why.

After a seconds hesitation, he knocked loudly on the door, and stood there impatiently, feeling angry, and confused, and most of all, betrayed. He did everything, gave everything...

A few seconds later, the door opened, and there she stood, in all her gorgeous glory, his Buffy, her hair still mused from the night before, a small smile on her face which faded as soon as she saw him. Instead, it was replaced with a small frown, not looking at all guilty. Spike felt his anger spike.

"Oh, it's you... What are you doing here?" She asked, sounding bored.

"Am I not allowed to visit my girlfriend?" he asked, his teeth clenched so hard, it was a marvel his jaw hadn't broken from the force.

"At this hour? Honestly Spike, this is a bit much, even for you."

"I didn't come over this morning, Love. I came over last night" He said with barely concealed anger, stressing the words last night.

Her face changed, from one of boredom to one of mild amusement.

"Oh you did, did you? Did you get a nice show?" She asked nastily with a cruel little smirk, making Spike's heart break just a bit more.

~She stood there laughing~
~I felt the knife in my hand and she laughed no more~

"Why?"

She scoffed. "Why wouldn't I, Spikey?" She spat. "How could I ever be satisfied with you? All you ever want is to do it nice and slowly, never giving me what I want. Can you blame a girl for wanting... more? Honestly Spike, did you really think I would ever care about you? I mean, who could ever love you?" She asked, giving him an unimpressed look up and down.

"Let's face it, you may look the part, but you are not bad at all. At first, sure, you acted like a baddy, but then you changed. You wanted to do everything together, and never gave me space. I mean, seriously Spike. No girl wants to be told poems in bed. So yeah, I went off with others. And let me tell you," She grinned nastily, and let out a cruel laugh, "they were amazing. Oh, and in case you didn't realize it, we're through, so, buh bye." She finished with a flip of her hair, a superior look on her face, as she started to laugh lightly at him.

All throughout her speech, he had kept quiet, and didn't interrupt, but his thoughts were whirling a mile a minute. He felt almost numb, but when she started laughing at him, something broke. He looked up at her, hatred and betrayal in his eyes, but she just kept going, telling him how they were now through. We're through, are we? Yeah, we're through. Not bad, am I? I'll show you just how bad I can be. He thought bitterly, as he turned the knife in his hand, flicking it open.

"Well, pet, that sure is a shame, now isn't it?" He asked softly, his eyes now down, burning holes in the ground. She just laughed more at him, not seeing the flash of silver in his hands.

It only took a second. One moment, she was standing, laughing, and the next, she was on the floor, covered in blood, a stupid, surprised look on her face.

"So sorry I couldn't be bad enough for you, love. I will try harder next time. I mean," He paused, giving her a nasty grin, as she gasped for air, "Not like you'll have a next time. But, it's the thought that counts, right? I hope you'll forgive me, love. I mean, could you really blame me? After having to put up with this shit, you have to understand. It wasn't my fault." He said, staring unforgivingly at her now lifeless body. Turning, he took a seat on the front step, and waited. When the police came, he stood up readily, and told them everything, and went willingly with them into the car. As he stared out the window, he couldn't manage to feel any guilt.

So he may spend the rest of his life in jail. But it really wasn't his fault. What else was he supposed to do?

~My, my, my, Delilah~
~Why, why, why, Delilah~
~So before they come to break down the door~
~Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more~
~Forgive me Delilah I just couldn't take any more~