A Teenage Experience
Little did Jess Mariano realize, or even most of the residents of Stars Hollow, but the small Connecticut town had its very own witch coven that definitely did not appreciate Jess's screwing around and decide to teach him a lesson. It goes horribly wrong, of course.
PS: Spoilers for all seasons, just in case. Starts after S02E08.
PS2: MPREG alert. For reals.
PS3: Fair amount of cursing.
PS4: I literally woke up one morning with this idea in my head, so I just had to, as bizarre as it is.
Notes:
"Words" – regular conversation
'Words' – quotes and such, thoughts too
Chapter 0001: The Witches of Stars Hollow
Much was spoken about the history of the tiny town of Stars Hollow by its Historical Society. Some of it was even reenacted each year, much to some people's delight and some other people's annoyance. As it were, however, one piece of its history was completely overlooked or, better yet, it had long been purposely buried and never again broadcast to most of the population.
Simply put, Stars Hollow had a long, long history as the stomping ground of a pretty passive and peaceful witch coven. They mostly kept to themselves, got together every now and then to recharge their batteries, as it were, and to gossip, as one does in such a small place. In one such meeting, the current Coven of Stars Hollow gossiped about one Jess Mariano.
Now, the Danes family had never had a witch in its line, though the same could not the said about the Sampson line, the line of Luke and Liz Danes's mother. Now that was a powerful and long line. Too bad neither of her children showed any aptitude for the craft, and the next generation had never given any indication that he even had any witch–y powers whatsoever. One thing he had shown was that he had the worst of Luke and Liz.
Luke had been a sullen kid, though generous and kind (if a little mercenary at times), while Liz had been a hurricane, friendly, chatty, a little flighty maybe. Jess was just as standoffish as Luke (still was), and he had more than a penchant for trouble than Liz ever did (in any case, her trouble was usually small time, Jess liked bigger stuff). The Coven had quickly taken notice of his presence and did not like what they were seeing. At all. Kid was trouble.
"What should we do? We should do something" – Lulu asked with a troubled expression – "What if my kids get in their head to emulate him?"
"And as fun as the fake murder was" – Miss Patty started – "it was a little much, I should think"
"I don't mind him as much" – Gypsy said next with a shrug – "but I suppose it would be best to curb his enthusiasm" – she snickered – "before he does some real damage. We still don't know if he's one of us or not"
"I have to agree" – Andrew nodded along – "He might he hiding what he can do, and who knows what he might get to if no one stops him while it's the harmless stuff?"
"He's right" – Lulu nodded firmly – "I vote we show Jess that his behavior is not acceptable"
"I vote to that too" – Gypsy stated. Andrew and Miss Patty raised their hands after a beat and the foursome nodded to each other.
"How should we do this, anyway?" – the only man in the room asked.
An hour later, after a break for coffee, cookies and research, Gypsy opened a wide smirk and pointed at something in one of her family's books. Everyone leaned forward and likewise smirked as they plotted Jess's demise!
... Or something a little less homicidal.
(they did share an evil laugh though. As you do).