As the title suggests, this is inspired by the classic song by Nat King Cole and dedicated to a dear friend of mine. Please enjoy some fluff and love. Since the 4th is next month, what better way to bring my babies together. Enjoy!
Unforgettable.
Dedicated to Cori
...
I see skies of blue, and clouds of white.
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night...
"And I think to myself, what a wonderful world," she finishes softly to herself as she leans against the concrete barrier, her arms crossed and eyes bright as the phosphorescence of rainbow colored fire ignites the midnight sky.
The roof is cooler at night and the tiny wisps of air that flow through her brunette waves proves that this was probably a good place to start.
Closing her eyes, she can still see the fiery bursts of the grandeur pyrotechnics behind her eyelids. Though she can't tell where the fireworks are coming from, she knows they are close and she opens her eyes just as the music hits a crescendo and a loud boom resonates through the city air.
A fountain of red and gold speckles drift down, down, down through the air, dissipating before they touch the frivolous earth where they'll blend in with the thousands of people in the midst of life.
This had been his idea. It was his very own to meet up on the roof at the hour of the lights and she remembers the way her hand had trembled when she had read the latest of his words, written in his scrawl on a piece of scented paper.
She'd long ago forgiven his absence. She'd long ago accepted his words would be the only piece of him she'd always be given to hold onto and cherish. She'd long ago accepted that the only part of him she'd be able to freely have would be the dialect from his own hand and not from his lips.
Of course that'd been what she'd always told herself, even long before he'd taken his last breath inside of their sanctuary, their habitat, their home away from home seven years ago.
She'd told herself, even before she realized their invisible tether to each other, that there was something in the air between them that would never be allowed to ignite, not like the fireworks as they explode about the air on a crisp fourth of July evening.
But it all changed in a way she's never let process fully in her mind a few days ago.
Two years after he'd dissipated from not only behind the walls of their collective sanctuary but from within the walls of her heart it had changed, the guidelines of their tether.
The first letter had been sitting on her desk when she'd gotten back from court one late afternoon. It was more personable this time, the golden yellow material of the envelope that had contained her Semper Fi necklace was replaced with a simple white envelope with just her name on it and the distinct smell of her favorite flower, Forget-me-not.
She remembers feeling as if the air around her had become filled with nothing but the flowery scent and him. She could smell him but he was nowhere to be found, just the simple letter kept hidden behind the lightweight material.
It was the first of many she had received over the last five years. When she goes home at night, she pulls out the shoebox full of simple white envelopes and counts them each time, savoring the sight of her name written in his familiar scrawl, Olivia Benson.
The first one had taken her breath away. Not only were his words so vivid, but she'd felt everything he was saying in the honesty he'd put forth in telling her his heart and soul with simple, short sentences. That had been the instance forgiveness had come into play. She'd felt his melancholy and his sorrow through every word and she'd finally understood.
She reread it over and over and examined each syllable as if it were her lifeline and instantly, her heart gave up on anger and refueled itself with sympathy.
She realized the walls that didn't quite hold up their place of refuge anymore, was housing the memories that haunted his mind, body and soul.
That's when she accepted his absence.
The five years worth of other letters had said everything and anything about who they were. She'd written him back a few times but he'd insisted she didn't have to but in her beleaguered mind, it was her only way of saying to him that she understood if he never came back. If he never came back to her.
The soft sound of a classic song pours through the city as the citizens begin a new light show of their own, smaller fireworks ignite the sky and laughter fills the sound waves from her position on the roof of the precinct. Her eyes droop closed as she remembers the intrinsic writing on the latest letter she'd received from him days before her fiftieth birthday.
When the sky ignites, it lights up their eyes.
But nothing lights like yours on the Fourth of July.
And then I'm in awe.
It hadn't been like the other ones he'd sent her. It had been more of a haiku of something that she'd never before seen in him. The simple wording held so much honesty that she'd wanted to believe he'd gotten it from somewhere. Being the daughter of a Literature nut, she thought she would have known if it had been from a sappy poem or the work of one of his daughters.
But as she rereads the lines that cascade in speckled rivulets behind her eyes, it's futile to think such a thing when it's never been more obvious he came up with it on his own. The man whose fists spoke for him more often than not had proven his were not only made of iron clad rage, but soft sincerity and... love.
He'd changed from his time away and nothing was more apparent than the way his voice changed with each of his letters.
She'd almost put the letter away before seeing the short message scrawled on the back.
She'd questioned whether or not the words were possible for a long time after reading them. The thought that it could be real again, tightened the tether again because it never seemed like it would be a possibility until she read the words over and over.
The words became a painted mural behind the darkness of her eyelids as she tried to believe them.
I've never been free to an open truth between us.
There's always been something in the back of our minds, Liv.
But now that a barrier between us has been broken, I can't close my eyes.
I need to see you again and it's only the lights I want to see you under.
The roof, 9 p.m., and bring the moon.
El
As she replays the words, her mind whirls and her heart flutters as a gentle breeze brushes against her skin once more. A soft melody billows up into the air and it's crisp and clear.
It's the fourth of July, seven years and three months after realizing she's not getting any younger and that lives never stay the same no matter how hard we try to stave off the process of time and change.
But the way the night air soothes her and the thought of seeing him again, makes her feel younger than any blossoming Forget-me-not.
She'd always known the letters were his way of asking for her forgiveness in the moment when he didn't know how else to escape from his own darkness. And now that she sees the enchantment behind every word he writes to her, it's more apparent that he's always been searching of a way to tell her things she's always knew.
Unforgettable, that's what you are
Unforgettable though near or far...
The vibrant voice of Nat King Cole sifts around her and she's lost to the melodic cadence and in the back of her mind she still registers the whispered hiss of fireworks all around her. Just as she'd promised to him and to herself, the moon also glows brightly and even behind her eyelids, she can feel the silver light.
Like a song of love that clings to me
How the thought of you does things to me
Never before has someone been more...
She feels comfortable and content to just listen to the music play all night whether she's joined or not and that's the thought she's left with when she feel a warmth form on the small of her back.
The sensation spreads throughout her entire body when she opens her eyes and sees him standing there. His chest lightly presses against her back and his strong arms rest on either side of hers, safely tucking her in between the hard concrete barrier and the safety of his solid chest.
He's quiet and from the corner of her eye, she can see his own glow as they blink drowsily to the music drifting between them.
Her body ignites with familiarity as his heat seeps into her and he's so close it almost feels like a dream. His even breaths ruffle the soft waves of hair around her ear and it is all she can do from closing her eyes and falling into him.
His letters had been proof of him at one time, but the heat of his body transcends any flicker of doubt when he softly speaks the rest of the lyrics into her ear.
"Unforgettable in every way
And forever more, that's how you'll stay..."
When his heavy words filter through her resolve, her mind forgets the last seven years and it's impossible to remember a time without him. His body shifts closer and his hands slide towards hers until he's completely pressed into her back as he continues to speak the words that are meant to be sung.
"That's why... it's incredible
That someone so unforgettable
Thinks that I am unforgettable too..."
He rests his chin on her shoulder and turns his lips in toward her neck during the last words and her skin prickles with awareness. His breaths are heavy and his lips are only inches from the flesh of her neck when he whispers.
"You were never forgettable. Not ever."
"El," she tries to whisper in protest but he stops her with his lips on her neck. Her words evaporate as soon as they escape her lungs and her hand immediately finds its way onto the back of his warm neck as his lips lay tiny feather-like touches against her skin.
He gently lowers his hands from the ledge and places his palms over her hips as he begins to sway them to the music. The song repeats in a mantra heard so many times and the moment becomes endless when she releases the ledge and looks over shoulder at him.
Their eyes catch and his are shining with mischief and small delicate smile lines his older features. He still has that masculine beauty, even at fifty-two and she imagines she'll look at him the same way when he's eight-two because there's no way she's ever letting him go again.
The thought makes her eyes water and a need to touch him flares so intensely inside of her.
Her fingers glide from behind his neck and onto his warm cheek, her palm grazing the faintest hint of hair lining his rough jaw. Her eyes soak up every detail about him, the way his eyes light up when he looks into the city night, and the way his jawbone jumps when she skims her nails gently across his skin and the way his chest expands when she leans in and kisses the corner of his mouth.
His eyes connect with hers once more in astonishment. The tether gains strength, tightening between them and the realization glimmers in his clear blue eyes. He turns her around and their face to face and he's still so unbelievably close, so much so that his next words touch her cheek with each breath.
"I want you know, that I may never be good with words, but I can always be better with my actions," he whispers softly as he lowers his hands to her waist once more. Leaning his his head against the side of hers, he continues, "And I'll never be able to show you enough."
His voice slivers its way inside of her and she is so warm, so unbelievably warm that she wants to close her eyes and wrap herself inside of him forever. In response, she wraps her arms around his neck and leans her head against his shoulder, breathing him and feeling something they'd never been allowed to before.
His touch is soft yet decisive as he guides them through one universe into the next.
They move in slow patterns across the roof, the music long since stopped and the busy chatter of the city their only background music.
It's a moment in time she's only read about, or seen in romantic interludes on screen or ever dreamed about but when the moist touch of his lips skim the underside of her jaw, she knows there's nothing that could ever compare to this.
Her breath catches when his mouth move down the column of her neck, stopping on her shoulder. His next words are muffled when he doesn't remove his mouth.
"I promised you through better or worse. Sometimes I feel like I've only been at my worst. But when I look at my kids... when I look at you, I know I can be better. I want to be better, Liv."
His muffled sob vibrates against her skin and her heart breaks and heals in this moment with him out on the roof of the place that brings them together and separates them in a whirlpool of emotion.
"You don't have to explain, Elliot. I've always known. It's time to move on now. There's tomorrow and the next day, the day after that," she whispers. "You have all those days ahead to show me the "better" but I have to tell you something; I've never seen anything better than the way you are with your kids, when you light up around them or when you got justice for a victim. Nothing."
He grips her tighter in his arms and she presses her lips against his shoulder as they hold each other tightly. Their feet continue to move in slow, timed steps as they travel across the roof and land back at the barrier where it all started.
Elliot presses her back against the concrete and places his hands on each side of her on the ledge. "I'd never let you go without telling you that."
She swallows and glides her hands up the expanse of his chest and lands them on his broad shoulders, his body a never-ending escape.
"I never hated you know," she whispers after awhile. "After you left, I was mad, of course, but once you wrote me that first letter, I knew it would be okay. That we'd be okay. One day," she whispers as her shiny eyes meet his once more. His eyes are sad but there's hope in the crystalline and it all makes sense that it happened this way.
"I'm so sorry."
"Shhh," she whispers in his ear and she doesn't want to hear him apologize anymore. He's never needed to ask for her forgiveness, for his simple existence has been her source of life from the moment their eyes connected.
He leans his forehead against hers and he's pressed against her so hard she can feel each of his haggard breaths. "Lets go away somewhere."
Her eyes rake over his facial features once she pulls back slightly and grips his shirt with her hands.
"Where?" she simply whispers because she'd follow him anywhere he'd ask and she's sure he'd do the same when his eyes glisten up.
A small smile floats across his features and his deep voice reverberates against her chest in a sonnet that surpasses any love song or poem.
"Wherever you want to go. Near or far," he whispers, his Brooklyn accent music to her ears.
She doesn't know whether to kiss him or laugh out loud at his new way with words and in that moment she knows it's onto a new stage in her life and wherever she ends up, she knows it'll be worth the journey if he's right there next to her.
finis.