Author's Note: Because this happened to me a few days ago.
Disclaimer: I do NOT own Naruto
I watch as cool metal hits my skin and shiver in excitement. I haven't done this in so long. The first stroke is heavy, careful and slow as I attempt to cut my arm deep enough. The stinging of the blade sends a light fiery sensation up to my elbow and for a moment this is all I can think about – doing it just right.
"Shit" I hiss quietly when the stinging intensifies as I drag the blade along and force it deeper into my skin. Blood begins to appear, some in tiny beads, others flowing through the soft white tissue like a small stream. I am human. Slowly, I smear the blood away with my hand and inspect the wounds. They aren't deep enough. Some aren't long enough. Others aren't bleeding enough. I failed. I let out a frustrated sigh and grip the pocket knife tightly in my fingers. At the very least, I can do this right.
"Sasori no danna"
I jump and my head shoots up in the direction of the deep voice coming from the doorframe. My heart is racing and I can almost hear my pulse beating away in my ears. Before I can grab the bandages and threaten Deidara to get the hell out, he's by my side.
Deidara's quiet as he roughly grabs my arm and yanks it in front of him. His brows furrow and his lips contort into a scowl. I try to pull away but to no avail and it's in that moment that I realize how strong Deidara actually is. My mind is too fuzzy to think of using chakra strings against him as his thick fingers wrap tightly around my wrist almost painfully so. "Really, I thought you were stronger than this, hm." He growls.
My blood begins to boil, the fogginess leaving my mind as his words sink in. I am strong and anyone daring to say otherwise can go to hell. "Shut the hell up you brat and mind your own damn business!" I yell and wrench my arm away. I stand up and am about to make a swift getaway for the door when I feel a pair of arms encircle my waist. I want to stomp on his foot and elbow him in the ribcage, I really do but for some reason I don't. I just stand there taking in the feel of his warm breath tickling the nape of my neck and his arms as they loosen so his hands can drop down and ghost over my hipbones before coming back up to cup my chin and tilt my face up. I almost lose all my defenses when I look into that lone, big sapphire eye staring down at me filled with concern and anger.
"See, this is why I can't trust you. You promised me you would stop and look what you're doing, hm." Deidara voice is smooth and deep and makes my stomach coil. My eyes travel down to his biceps and the rest of his arms where a thick vein is protruding alongside his wrist.
"It isn't any of your business." I tell him and Deidara's face quickly turns into anger as he snatches up my arm and before I have time to get angry myself at being man handled and punch him in the face, his lips crash down onto mine in a near teeth shattering kiss. His eyes are screwed shut and his lips feel rough against my own as he presses harder against my mouth, hand still wrapped tightly around my arm enough to bruise. It's rough. There's nothing gentle about it because Deidara isn't gentle. His kisses are just like his personality – aggressive, mean and bold yet filled with positive emotion but I love it this way even still because it's all him. Suddenly, he shoves me away with a scowl still tightly in place on that delicate looking face of his.
"Don't say it's none of my business, hm." He growls at me and swipes the bandages off the bathroom sink, reaching over and taking my arm yet again in his hand. My arm has an angry red mark on it from when Deidara had snatched it up and I can already see the beginnings of a big bruise. It pisses me off and I'm about to make a retort until I see his face. His eyes are filled with hurt and he nibbles on his lip worriedly as he grabs the antiseptic, dabbing at my cuts before tearing off a long strip of bandage and wrapping my arm securely.
For a moment we just stand there staring at each other, silently daring the other to break the gaze first and walk off in defeat until Deidara sighs, slumps his shoulders and opens his arms out wide. "C'mere, Sasori." He whispers, dropping the 'no danna' off the end of my name this time and suddenly my legs start to move on the own accord and my breath turns shallow as I walk into his reach and let his long arms encircle themselves around me. His hugs aren't like his kisses. Deidara's hugs are gentle which is something still new to me since we don't hug often if at all. He's never been big on random displays of affection and neither have I but tonight must be an exception because here we are doing just that. I don't hug him back. I just stand there but Deidara seems to not be okay with it since he grabs my wrists and places them around his waist. "Don't do this to us again … please, hm." He quietly begs in my ear and drops his head on my shoulder. "Please"
It's a rarity to ever see Deidara broken up about something so I'm shocked when I feel a wetness on my shoulder. I hear him sniff and I know he's crying. Deidara never cries. Something in my stomach drops at the sound and I wrap my arms around him tighter this time and awkwardly make circles on his back. Just like Deidara's never cried, I've never comforted anybody before so I'm unsure of how I should do it but I try anyways because I feel like it's the least I can do. I think to myself that I should be the one sobbing since I'm the one who is depressed about being a human – that is ultimately fleeting – again but I don't say anything because if I did, Deidara would just point out that I could easily turn my body back into a puppet if I really wanted to and of course he's absolutely right. Whenever I feel like I've had enough of being human and get myself ready to begin the process of changing my body, I stop. Every single time I stop. It's like I can never go past the first step and complete step two. I made the body but that's as far as I've gone. As we stand in the bathroom, I tighten my arms around him more. Maybe it's because I like the feelings I get being around Deidara that I'd never gotten before when I was puppet. Before, he could grab me and kiss me as hard as he wanted and it wouldn't have made a difference. I wouldn't feel any of it but now, as my fingers start to travel down to the small of his back, I can feel it all – the slender muscles tensing and relaxing as he moves, the firmness of his skin and the silky strands of blonde hair getting tangled in between my fingers. I can feel my partner.
"I'm sorry." I finally say after what seemed like forever and for the first time I'm not just saying it to get him off my case. I really mean it.
Deidara sniffs one last final time and raises his head off my shoulder and pulls away from me. He nods, tilting his chin up briefly. "I think this is enough sappy shit to last us for a few weeks, what do you say, Sasori no danna?" He asks as he makes his way out of the bathroom and I know this is his way of getting us back on track.
"I agree." I sneer and start to follow him out of the bathroom and into our room. Maybe being human isn't so bad if it means being able to feel Deidara.
OWARI