*Yeah, so all copyrights go to Marvel and directing/writing god Joss Whedon. Thanks for reading. Leave reviews, follow, and favorite. I am not going to force you. But...JUST DO IT."
"THIS IS SUPPOSED TO BE EASY, PEPPER!" Tony yelled, hitting the purple Easy-Bake Oven. Pepper ran in, then just glared at him.
"Really, Tony?" she asked.
"No. I was joking. What do you think, Pepper? I create suits from the future and yet this won't bake me a God damn cookie! I JUST WANT A GOD DAMN COOKIE!" Tony yelled. He slapped the Easy-Bake Oven again.
"I will get you a cookie right away, sir," Jarvis said. Tony growled like a wolf. Pepper rolled her eyes and left.
"I will make the cookie, Jarvis. I will make the cookies," Tony promised.
"Would you like me to assemble the avengers for this crisis, sir?" Jarvis asked. Tony began to protest, but stopped himself. This is a risk, me not having an Easy-Bake Oven cookie. I could start punching people, Tony thought to himself.
"Start the emergency phone tree, Jarvis! Start it now, before I start punching people!" Tony said. Haha, now we can eat the cookies together. Wait no, I will eat ALL the cookies. Then I will get fat. Shit, I'm Iron Man. I won't get fat, Tony thought to himself. Tony realized that he was spending too much time with himself.
"I am going to lead the company with your name on it," Pepper told Tony, stepping in the elevator.
"Don't you want 12% of a cookie?" Tony asked.
"12%?" Pepper questioned. Tony sighed.
"You drive a hard bargain. 15% and that is final," Tony said. Pepper rolled her eyes as the elevator doors shut. Tony smirked. My plan worked. That bitch won't try to steal my cookies now, Tony thought. This was getting out of hand. Tony knew that the directions were mostly in Spanish which he was rusty on. The English side was more confusing then a children's toy instructions should be.
"Sir, the only avenger willing to come is Bruce Banner. That is only because he is in Stark Tower already," Jarvis explained. Tony sighed staring at the sad cookie mix.
"Jarvis, I need plans to get the Avengers here," Tony told Jarvis.
"But, sir, Model-75892 needs to be calibrated if you plan-"
"Jarvis. Don't be a bitch." Jarvis sighed and Tony glared at the supposedly "Easy"-Bake Oven. He fiddled with something that looked mechanically awesome as Bruce walked in.
"Really, Tony?" Bruce asked.
"You know, you sound just like Pepper," Tony told him. Bruce pushed up his glasses and went straight to the kitchen.
"It is amazing you are a millionaire." Tony cleared his throat.
"Correction, billionaire," he said. Bruce stared at the Easy-Bake Oven then moved his focus to the instructions. He turned it every which was and hit it with his hand.
"Well don't get too angry, Brucers," Tony joked. Bruce sighed.
"I can't figure it out. It may be malfunctioning. Did you replace the bulb? Maybe it came with a bad one," Bruce suggested. Tony scoffed.
"I'm not an idiot. I replaced it four times and it still won't warm," Tony explained. Bruce sat on a chair and rubbed his temples.
"We need Thor. Maybe he can electrocute it and that will bring the circuits back to life," Bruce said, jumping up in excitement. Tony stroked his unshaven. It never got old to see Goldilocks the Carpenter. Plus, he would like to see that so called "god" be taken down a peg by the villainess Easy-Bake Oven.
"What we need to figure out it how to get him here."
"I know," Bruce claimed.
*30 minutes later*
"YOU USED DARK MAGIC TO CONJURE ME HERE?!" Thor yelled, swinging his hammer around like a maniac. Stark put his hands up.
"Eh, point break. No need for the swinging and whatnot," Tony said, patting him on the shoulder from a distance. Thor swatted Tony's hand away like a bug.
"Do not touch me with your plump hand," Thor yelled. Tony snorted, offended.
"My hand is not fat!" Thor throws his hammer down, making a hole in the ground. Tony frowns and calls for a robot to come clean up the symbols on the ground.
"I don't understand how you even know how to use magic," Thor ponders.
"He doesn't I do," Bruce chimes in.
"Yeah, Brucers is quite talented. Aren't you, Brucers?" Tony asks, pinching Bruce's cheek. Bruce frowns at Tony until he stops, then pushes up his glasses.
"Stop calling me Brucers," Bruce warned.
"Okay, okay," Tony said. But the truth was, deep inside him, Tony felt differently. Through everything, the pain, the cuddling…wait, there wasn't cuddling. Tony knew that Brucers just felt natural, and he was determined to be himself. He would call him Brucers no matter what the cost.