Archiving: WRFA, Mutual Admiration, Dolphin Haven. Anyone else, ask first please.
Disclaimer: No, they're not mine. There's no need to rub it in you know?
Feedback: Sure, bring it on.
Setting: After the movie
Authors notes: First off, title stolen from Madonna. Secondly, sorry if Fatherland gets put on hold for a while. I want to finish this series before going on with that one (whenever that is).
-------------------------------------
Shit, shit, shit! What have I done! This is all my fault. I will never
forgive myself if she dies of that impact. Why did I have to push her to be so mad she'd
drive away drunk! Because I'm a jerk, that's why!
And who the fuck pushed the pause button on the remote control? Or slowed
down time. Whatever. She's not that far away so why am I not with her already?
My eyes tells me that I'm running but whatever brains I have is not
cooperating. Did someone push reverse too? What's wrong with the fast-forward button?
Logan, how stupid can you get? More stupid than I thought, that's fer sure.
I've tried for so very long, and rather unsucessfully too, to harden my
heart. Love or friendship's just not for me is what I always told myself.
And when a beutiful girl decides she wants your friendship, what do you do?
Love or friendship tried to welcome me but me and my stupid fuckin' issues
decided to push her away. Way to go, moron. As if loneliness hasn't been your
companion for far too long anyway. No, no. You convince yourself that you're a danger to her.
And maybe I am. But isn't that up to both me and her to decide?
Isn't life just more than a handful of dangers either way? What's one or two
more?
But that might just be academic if she's dead. And even if she's not, she
might not want to ever see me again. Can't say I'd blame her. I treated her like
dirt.
Thank you! She's not dead. Only unconscious and a couple of cuts. The driver
of that car didn't even bother to stop to see if she was okay. Can't do anything
about that now but if I could I'd...perform some novelty surgery. In ways that would
make the fucker rue the day he was born.
But right now all that matters is that Marie's okay. Or will be if I can get
her into some warmth at least. Lying drunk and unconscious in the gutter in the
pouring rain like this won't do her any wonders.
Okay, knowing what to do. Next thing is to do it. Get her into the warmth.
Good thing my motelroom is in the more sleazier type of motel. No one will
question me if I bring Marie in there. Thank God for small mercies. Two mercies since
the motel is in walking distance from here.
A few minutes later I had arrived my destination and gently put her down in
one of the chairs momentarily while I made the bed for her. I then proceeded
to carefully remove her jacket and boots. Very gently. I don't want to shake
her if I can help it. She probably won't wake up from it but if she hit her head
it might make her condition worse. Listen to me, I'm sounding like some damn
doctor. Anyway, I tuck her into bed and hoping she won't hate me when she
wakes up. Hoping that everything that remains in the morning is a hangover and some
cuts that will heal eventually.
I myself sits down in the chair, just looking at her. She's so beutiful it
almost hurts. I don't know if she can ever love me, even if I hadn't been so stupid
in the bar, or if she just wants or wanted my friendship. Either would be just
fine with me.
Maybe, just maybe, she could make loneliness more of a stranger and turn the
winter of my heart into spring.
If she still wants me around I'd be so happy. I know I don't deserve that
but I still want it. And I still dread that I might hurt her without meaning or
wanting to. God knows life hasn't been kind to me. The world has always seemed to hate
me and I've always returned the favour.
With a lot of luck it could be time to turn my back to the hatered. Stop
seeing things in just black and white.
It will probably take a lot of time to effort to do that but if Marie's
willing to give me another chance I'm more willing to do just that. No matter how
hard or long it takes.
She's worth that and so much more. Everything and more.
Disclaimer: No, they're not mine. There's no need to rub it in you know?
Feedback: Sure, bring it on.
Setting: After the movie
Authors notes: First off, title stolen from Madonna. Secondly, sorry if Fatherland gets put on hold for a while. I want to finish this series before going on with that one (whenever that is).
-------------------------------------
Shit, shit, shit! What have I done! This is all my fault. I will never
forgive myself if she dies of that impact. Why did I have to push her to be so mad she'd
drive away drunk! Because I'm a jerk, that's why!
And who the fuck pushed the pause button on the remote control? Or slowed
down time. Whatever. She's not that far away so why am I not with her already?
My eyes tells me that I'm running but whatever brains I have is not
cooperating. Did someone push reverse too? What's wrong with the fast-forward button?
Logan, how stupid can you get? More stupid than I thought, that's fer sure.
I've tried for so very long, and rather unsucessfully too, to harden my
heart. Love or friendship's just not for me is what I always told myself.
And when a beutiful girl decides she wants your friendship, what do you do?
Love or friendship tried to welcome me but me and my stupid fuckin' issues
decided to push her away. Way to go, moron. As if loneliness hasn't been your
companion for far too long anyway. No, no. You convince yourself that you're a danger to her.
And maybe I am. But isn't that up to both me and her to decide?
Isn't life just more than a handful of dangers either way? What's one or two
more?
But that might just be academic if she's dead. And even if she's not, she
might not want to ever see me again. Can't say I'd blame her. I treated her like
dirt.
Thank you! She's not dead. Only unconscious and a couple of cuts. The driver
of that car didn't even bother to stop to see if she was okay. Can't do anything
about that now but if I could I'd...perform some novelty surgery. In ways that would
make the fucker rue the day he was born.
But right now all that matters is that Marie's okay. Or will be if I can get
her into some warmth at least. Lying drunk and unconscious in the gutter in the
pouring rain like this won't do her any wonders.
Okay, knowing what to do. Next thing is to do it. Get her into the warmth.
Good thing my motelroom is in the more sleazier type of motel. No one will
question me if I bring Marie in there. Thank God for small mercies. Two mercies since
the motel is in walking distance from here.
A few minutes later I had arrived my destination and gently put her down in
one of the chairs momentarily while I made the bed for her. I then proceeded
to carefully remove her jacket and boots. Very gently. I don't want to shake
her if I can help it. She probably won't wake up from it but if she hit her head
it might make her condition worse. Listen to me, I'm sounding like some damn
doctor. Anyway, I tuck her into bed and hoping she won't hate me when she
wakes up. Hoping that everything that remains in the morning is a hangover and some
cuts that will heal eventually.
I myself sits down in the chair, just looking at her. She's so beutiful it
almost hurts. I don't know if she can ever love me, even if I hadn't been so stupid
in the bar, or if she just wants or wanted my friendship. Either would be just
fine with me.
Maybe, just maybe, she could make loneliness more of a stranger and turn the
winter of my heart into spring.
If she still wants me around I'd be so happy. I know I don't deserve that
but I still want it. And I still dread that I might hurt her without meaning or
wanting to. God knows life hasn't been kind to me. The world has always seemed to hate
me and I've always returned the favour.
With a lot of luck it could be time to turn my back to the hatered. Stop
seeing things in just black and white.
It will probably take a lot of time to effort to do that but if Marie's
willing to give me another chance I'm more willing to do just that. No matter how
hard or long it takes.
She's worth that and so much more. Everything and more.